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Shit.

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”

— George R.R. Martin, A Game Of Thrones

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Coconut groves and meadows. 🏞🌴🌼 #travel #MountainSide (at Maasim, Sarangani Province) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpjNM8Eg6j-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1h4olwi2a1vyk

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Into the woods where we lay Lolo's remains to rest. 😢🌳🏞 #travel #funeral (at Maasim, Sarangani Province) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpjM54-AbFA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10cll55h14g0e

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Saturated sunsets make seawater look like liquid gold. 🌅🌊 #Wanderings #BeachMode #sunsets (at Abagatanen Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoJdZtEls31/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=llb3z4fsmq8f

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Feet don't fail me now. 🌄 #Wanderings #BeachMode #WeekendGetaway (at Abagatanen Beach) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoJc3glFflO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=kehan0ul7ynd

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This detoxification got me optimistic and jovial. Erh, it kinda weirds me out a bit, tbh. 😅🌅 #WeekendGetaway #WeekendWarrior #BeachMode #BeachThoughts https://www.instagram.com/p/BoGxbypFIRk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10c3q4um437y2

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I have lots to say about this book. I found myself reading this at the pinnacle of all stresses and anxieties in my life. Towards the end of high school I started having this state and episodes of unease that I couldn't define. Back then I didn't know what and how anxiety works, let alone know that I was in the thick of it back then. The tremendous pressure of being able to perform well in academics and at the same time have meaningful relationships with people around me was too much for a sixteen year-old carrying a bag pack that is almost equal to my weight living in a culture and in an environment where what you do on paper matters most. It was a slow realization. The bouts of restlessness that suddenly dips into inescapable lethargia, not wanting to attend school, the tremors, the shaking, blurry vision, long absences. Back then, I couldn't tell anyone about it. I didn't know if it was just me or sometimes I feel that maybe I'm just imposing this upon myself. Maybe I am faking it. My hands shake and get sweaty and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Then comes this awful feeling of isolation - being and interacting with friends and with family and still feel like a bystander or an observer. So I would go to bed, shut the lights, just so I could turn it off. Or so I thought. It was a vicious cycle that I could not escape and wake up from. I still have them. I constantly have to deal with them now in my twenties. But now its different. For the first time, someone depended on me. I couldn't depend on myself. So yeah, I see myself in Craig's shoes. The chaos of it all is so big that sometimes you just want a space to crawl into and stay there and wait until it settles. But you can't. I learned that I had to choose. To face the impasse, commit to it, and hope for the best. Pray. Meditate on things. Listen to music. Read. Teach. Talk to someone. Just choose. Choose to live. PS. When I heard of Ned's passing, it affected me on a personal level. It meant that I could never have the opportunity to read more of his work. How can you feel so connected and relate to someone you've never met? #ReRead #reader #ItsKindOfAFunnyStory https://www.instagram.com/p/BnrGBJSFTI5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1j44he1hmycqy

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Let's break this prolonged reading stump y'all! Although I'm kinda sad that I'll be rereading It's Kind Of A Funny Story after Ned 😢 but at the same time excited to immerse in Nick Joaquin's words. Hays. #bookishproblems #bookstagram #reader https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnqgjp7lNqW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1m4kux52v2ueh

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Me at 1 pm. 🔥🌊😅 #travelgram (at Dinadiawan, Aurora) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnjQBJ-Fkbk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gkwspzozk0ie

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Shoreline flora 🌿🌺🌊 #travelgram (at Dinadiwan, Aurora, Philippines) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnjMIs-FzR_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8xr3dan8r5u2

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Long drives that traverse shallow streams, remote villages, lush foliage, steep inclines, and serpentine roads lead to something completely unexpected. Must go back here. 🚐🌏🍃 #travelgram (at Bulawan Falls Dinalungan Aurora) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnjH-hVFcWZ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=v5oca7t2nf0b

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Have you ever felt that odd sense of familiarity to a place that' is foreign to you? 🌿🍃 #travelgram (at Bulawan Falls Dinalungan Aurora) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnjE6fSBFZf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=u44ud4refivv

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Most people live for the thrill of it all. That sweet and lush taste of euphoria that gets you hooked on those first sights, smells, and strangers that we coalesce in our lives. But there will always be moments - moments where everything comes to a tilt and you feel queasy as if your center of gravity moved from your torso to your chest. That feeling of peculiar unease because of the glacial pace of that moment's dull rotation. You begin to impose statutes of disbelief to everything you've previously held true and concrete. You arrive at an impasse with yourself - that point of no return. And then you start to see things - feel things differently. This painful growth of you slowly cracking the edges of this fragmented chrysalis, and finally, limp - bone upon bone and muscle upon muscle, with all the strength you can muster. And then you move - forward, carrying with you those moments that you thought were malevolent or insidious shards, and then abruptly refract themselves into the mirrors you see yourself today. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bndf-iOF29s/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=5vds57ely90b

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So night market, and a Diagon Alley of flowers.

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Psychedelic pinks and oranges aesthetic with @kehlani

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Bedside companions. It's a cacophony of thesis materials and reading materials to either help me sleep or to laugh my ass out. (at Aguso, Tarlac, Philippines)