Roma, 24, they/them, white, bisexual, transmasc
idk what I'm doing here I just rb things
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Worth it
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Messaged them this morning and they replied within half an hour like come on why can you not just be consistent with me
Wished them happy birthday and they've read the message without replying 🙃
In my clown era fr 🤡
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Want to shred my skin actually
Wished them happy birthday and they've read the message without replying 🙃
In my clown era fr 🤡
#howww do you just air a happy birthday message asking if you've got any nice plans#from one of the three people who bothered to show up to your celebration on Sunday#who you're in a four month casual sex relationship with#like what am i supposed to think about that#what is wrong with me#personal
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Wished them happy birthday and they've read the message without replying 🙃
In my clown era fr 🤡
#spent this morning making a fucking envelope for the card i got them bc i didn't have one#can't even get a reply#fuck me#personal
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So, observations - they'll be physically affectionate with ** in public in front of me, but they'll only be physically affectionate with me when ** was in the bathroom and things.
At the end of the night they were wrapping things up and giving ** and to some extent me eyes like 'are we going to have a threesome'? But no one was actually saying anything with words, so I said 'do you want some company when you go back'? To which they just DIDN'T REPLY and just looked at **??? I feel fucking humiliated. And eventually ** was like oh I need to go back and get some food, and offered to drop *** off in their Uber on the way. And I asked 'ok you haven't answered my question' and they were like 'i need to get food too really'.
So essentially, *** wanted to sleep with both of us, but when that was off the table they didn't want me individually. And they couldn't even tell me that directly or give me a straight answer when I straight up asked them.
And I've got to trust that they both actually did go home individually and didn't just go back and fuck. Idk what I think tbh. I want to believe people are honest and upfront about their intentions and communicate openly bc I do, but fuck that was such a weird ending to the evening.
Honestly I wish I didn't like *** as much as I do bc this should be pretty easy to be like 'i deserve better than this' and nope out but I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to put up with it and keep my expectations of their communication much lower
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afraid i may have touched a sadness within myself i cannot jerk my way out of
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come on I look so fucking fit here
Posting thirst traps on my twitter to get a certain person (***) to reply and they just liked it without replying it's so over for me
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Posting thirst traps on my twitter to get a certain person (***) to reply and they just liked it without replying it's so over for me
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me: oh man im starving but im not sure what i should make for dinner……
the spirit of a 12th century templar knight that died a horrific death due to torture that started haunting me after i found a sword in the middle of the woods: spaghetti once more, prithee?
me: henry you are brilliant. spaghetti it is
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Well I saw them yesterday and we didn't talk about any of this stuff, just had sex which was really good. They made a couple of comments that made me a bit ??? but I think for me I just need to recalibrate my expectations on the quality of their communication and otherwise just enjoy the sex and their company for what it is
I just can't believe they're talking about being in love after telling me three weeks ago they aren't looking for a relationship rn. Seeing them and ** together yesterday they quite clearly are in a relationship. And I've just got to suck it up and pretend it's ok otherwise I'm a crazy weirdo. They don't owe me shit but fuck it hurts. I can do just sex but it stings when they have what I want to have with them with someone else
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Idek if I would want a relationship with them but I do feel like they've misled me over their relationship with ** in a way that means I have made decisions with ** that I wouldn't otherwise have made. I'm not trying to get involved with two people who are in a relationship with each other. that was different when I thought they just had a casual thing with each other. I'm pissed.
And yeah it just feels mad to tell someone you're not dating/doing romantic relationships bc that isn't where you at and then three weeks later you're posting about being in love!! Like that isn't just me, that's weird behaviour right
I just can't believe they're talking about being in love after telling me three weeks ago they aren't looking for a relationship rn. Seeing them and ** together yesterday they quite clearly are in a relationship. And I've just got to suck it up and pretend it's ok otherwise I'm a crazy weirdo. They don't owe me shit but fuck it hurts. I can do just sex but it stings when they have what I want to have with them with someone else
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I just can't believe they're talking about being in love after telling me three weeks ago they aren't looking for a relationship rn. Seeing them and ** together yesterday they quite clearly are in a relationship. And I've just got to suck it up and pretend it's ok otherwise I'm a crazy weirdo. They don't owe me shit but fuck it hurts. I can do just sex but it stings when they have what I want to have with them with someone else
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God I really fucked up with this I think. I want them a lot and now they're posting about being 'in love' with the other person and I feel like a shit unwelcome extra third when I saw them both yesterday ffs. I regret getting involved with the third person I feel like it's over complicated everything and it sucks seeing *** escalate their relationship with them after telling me three weeks ago they weren't interested in dating anyone seriously at the moment. Like fuck me ig that was bullshit. Seeing *** Wednesday and I'll try to get the vibe between us a bit more bc it's been three weeks and things have clearly shifted a bit. Just feel like shit rn though
So my feelings for the person I'm sleeping with subsided a good bit and I had a nice chat to them last night after we fucked basically confirming that we are enjoying what we are doing now with having reasonably casual sex approximately once a week. I think the implication was there that we may both be open to more at some stage but it wasn't explicit, and they were clear that at the moment they aren't searching for new partners as it isn't fulfilling for them at the moment, so they're just seeing me and occasionally the other person that I went on a date with the other week.
(side note that person cancelled on the date we had planned for Monday which was sad and also has not been responsive with rearranging. I'm not too worried because ik they're having a busy week and I hope they will get back to me in the next few days but it is a bit of a shame)
But yeah realistically with *** I think having a comfortable casually sexual and intimate relationship actually is as much as I want and have capacity for? Even if I do also sometimes have much stronger romantic feelings for them. But yeah I'm glad we at least had some sort of conversation about it.
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