#what is wrong with me
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I want to write a 800000 word ted talk on ZhaoSu and ZhouDu but apparently I actually have to engage in the real world which is so unfair.
For now I just want to say that ZhouDu is an incredibly difficult relationship to adapt within the censorship framework. On the face of it, most of their interactions would not be air-able. Fei Du's deceptive and has many layers to his motivations but his actions and approach to Luo Wenzhou are explicit and forward. He's CONSTANTLY hitting on him with no restraint and that is the key driver of the change of their relationship. If he didn't, Luo Wenzhou probably wouldn't have started seeing him differently. Luo Wenzhou is a bold and straight forward person. He's older (especially amongst Danmei protags), he is confident and self assured. He realises that he loves Fei Du so he says so and he acts accordingly. If he didn't just go ahead and do it, Fei Du would never have been able to accept that he's loved.
Their love story is 2 people who explicitly choose and pursue each other. And if you can't have them do that, what do you really have.
It would have been possible to do the show without the relationship or to just do the famous scenes with changed words that wink and a nod just for fan service without any regard for story flow or consistent characterisation.
The show doesn't do that, it establishes and anchors itself in their past and sets up a deep emotional connection they have from minute 1 of episode 1. Pei Su sits in that therapists chair and Luo Weizhao's presence is in everything he says and feels about the world and about himself. You don't need Pei Su putting a jacket over Luo Weizhao in episode 10 when he's sleeping because it's so obvious that he is probably the most important person in Pei Su's life. They extrapolate from their back stories and their personalities and allow them to naturally develop within the plot. By stripping back what is overt (and would definitely not be allowed) they're showing us the depth of them (and accidentally made it more unbroadcastable... oops).
It feels real becuase Luo Weizhao and Pei Su don't love each other just because Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du love each other. They love each other because they fit, because it makes sense, because they were always going to.
#justice in the dark#mo du#fei du#luo weizhao#silent reading#pei su#luo wenzhou#my ramblings#I actually started to write a whole other essay half way through about priest and romance but I'll save that for another day#What is wrong with me#I cannot be stopped#This is probably just part 1#I'll come back to this for sure#Day 10000 of singing the praises of the cast and crew#Not that I don't want to see the stuff I obviously do!!#Yes I finally watched episode 10
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Strip that stupid triangle
#bill cipher#bill cipher fanart#billford#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#wip#ahslgjwalkjfaw#what is wrong with me#i don't know what's wrong with me
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#daisy randone#girl interrupted#shitpost#funny shit#coquette girl#coquette aesthetic#me core#coquette#irl stuff#me irl#what is wrong with me#girl blogger#girlblogging#blog#blogging#girlhood#my blog#tumblr girls#this is a girlblog#hell is a teenage girl#bloggers#this is girlhood#this is what makes us girls#why am i like this#im just a girl#girly stuff#my post#fypage#fyp#brittany murphy
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Intimacy
UGHHHH YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM
I suddenly got the concept for this comic a midnight and I just couldn't sleep without finishing it. It's very strange cuz it's completely outside of my usual art style??? what??? possessed me to do this???
THE ANATOMY'S ALL WONKY! I DONT CARE! ILY!
#no cuz i geniunelly started crying while i did this#what is wrong with me#suggestive#disco elysium#harry du bois#de#disco elysium fanart#de fanart#harrier du bois#kim kitsuragi fanart#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium comic#kimharry#harrykim#my art#treaty's art#treaty's doodles
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what you want you cannot find. so you let someone else find it for you. (18+, dark!simon x curvy!fem!reader, arranged marriage)
you don't really know what you were thinking when you answered the ad. it is many things, maybe, why you chose to apply. why you were grateful to be chosen.
the loneliness, it aches. you cannot find yourself in anyone else, you cannot find the thing that should move you and hold you. you cannot find what it is that should ignite what is asleep, the thing nestled between your ribs that feels like it beats to a rhythm that you cannot hear.
the bitterness, too. there is something sour that you taste. there is acid under your tongue, something rotten between your teeth, and you wish for anything that you would stop tasting it because it reminds you of how alone you are, how alone you'll remain, the inevitable thing that you wish you weren't but that you unfortunately are.
it is the thing you cannot die for because there isn't anything to die for. you live, and you breathe, and you exist, but there isn't anything there. this is nothing that makes you want to gnaw on your own flesh, there is no life you would take in sake of another, there is no purpose to your existence except the hope that perhaps there is still time to have what you want more than anything.
but you don't know what you want. you don't know because everything that you thought you wanted, you do not want any longer. you never feel anything with other men. they are beneath you. they maim what they shouldn't. they complain about things that they can fix. they stare at a problem head-on, with the solution at their back, and they chase their tails. they do not know their right from their left. you hate them. but you want it. you want something. you want one of them, but you don't know which, so maybe if you don't choose, you will find what it is that you don't know you're looking for.
you're alone in the room. they gave you a bouquet of white roses. you hold them nervously between clammy palms. you wear a silk white dress that skims the floor, fabric falling soft over the curve of your waist and gentle along the swell of your cleavage. your hair is loose, and there is a short veil over your head, covering your face.
you stare at your handler. he's dressed in his military fatigues, tactical vest still strapped with the Union Jack across his chest. he has introduced himself as captain john price, and he is the one who arranged for your arrival. he is the one who told you to wear white, and he is the one who gave you the roses.
captain john price is rugged. captain john price is kind. and captain john price is not what you want. you are grateful that you are not yet disappointed with your match.
the door opens behind you. you straighten your posture that extra inch when you hear his heavy gait. there is a pause as the door shuts behind him, and you see his captain nod to a figure that you cannot see. his boots hit the floor low, and you swallow when the sunlight that comes through the window is blocked entirely by the size of him as he stands at your side.
the vows are short. you say your i do first, soft voice that hits his ears in a way that makes him nearly purr. when it is his turn to say i do, your eyes sparkle. he speaks in such a low voice, a Manchester accent that makes your toes curl in the white kitten heels that you wear. a drawl that you can feel in your chest, an accent that ticks a corner of your brain you did not know was there.
"you may kiss your bride."
you turn away from the captain. you tilt your head to look up at him, and you let out a soft breath when you realize the sheer breadth of this man.
he is barely a man. he must be something else. he is dressed all in black, and he wears all of his gear. his tactical vest is stocked well, magazines tucked into their pockets, a grenade dangling from one strap, a handgun tucked into its holster on his chest and around his thick thigh. his belt is heavy with more, knives in sheathes, devices in their places. even without all of the weight, you know the size of him won't shrink.
you cannot see his face. he covers it with a mask, one that resembles the front face of a skull. it is dirty. you aren't certain if it is blood or soot or dirt. maybe it is all of that and more. you cannot see his eyes through the veil either, but they are dark, and they are intense.
you keep your eyes fixed on his as he lifts your veil. the delicate fabric settles over your head, and you see him without obstruction.
there he is.
it is like seeing a man for the first time. it is like being in the presence of the dream you've always had and could never remember.
he tilts his head to the side, curious. he is seeing your face for the first time, too. soft eyes. glossy lips. the curve of your mouth. the untouched skin of your cheeks, the unmarred flesh that you wear. he follows the line of your throat to the peek of your tits dressed in silk. you are a present wrapped in luxury. hand delivered goods, of the finest quality.
his bride. his wife. something he will have forever. he does not know if he has ever been able to say that about anything else. he's never had anything except for his life. nothing except for himself has ever belonged to him, but even now, not even his life is his own, it belongs to someone far away, someone in an office somewhere, who moves the chess pieces of his world around, where he cannot do anything but follow.
you stand on your toes to get closer to him. he thinks for just a second you will ask him to remove his mask, but you don't. you cant your head, and you kiss him over the mask, sticky gloss leaving a light imprint on the fabric. you settle back onto your heels, and your breath hitches when one of his gloved hands comes to settle at the dip of your waist.
"she's all mine now, eh, cap'n?"
you blink, your eyes still on his. you don't move, and you don't say anything. you wonder, if you could see his face, if he would smile.
"all yours, simon."
you let him drag you closer, shuffling on your feet until your hips press against his. your back arches gently as he uses both hands, gripping you around the middle and feeling the soft flesh underneath your silk dress. he is a rabid dog, his next meal at his fingertips. she is his, and he wants to take her home. if his captain was not standing at his back, he knows he would take you on this very floor.
she is mine. she is mine. she is mine.
he has studied your picture. he has memorized your name. he has been waiting for you. he is too awkward to leave base. he is too quiet to attract birds, birds that matter, birds that sing. he is too ravenous to be anything but permanent, he isn't capable of the mundane, of casual. it is everything or nothing at all, and at the sound of permanence, he foamed at the mouth.
at the thought of something to keep, he was blinded. when beasts lose control, they call their keeper, and he had none. this change could be good. this change would do him well. when he ignores the order of a commanding officer, he will bend to yours, because he is bound, wrapped, tied to you with something invisible that weaves between his bones.
you do not know what you were before, but you know what you are now.
you follow after him. he turns to leave, and you let him lead. your heels click as you walk, and when it is hard for you to keep up, you reach for his hand. he grunts when you do, but he doesn't push you away. you hold wilting roses in one hand, and you clutch him in the other. recruits and privates stop to salute or step out of your way, and they stare when they see a trailing angel behind their lieutenant, a pretty girl in a pretty white dress with a veil fluttering against the breeze as you try and keep up with your husband's long strides.
the door he stops in front of is plain and unmarked. he fits a key into the lock, turning it and opening it, and he invites you over a threshold that no one else has ever stepped over. you stand on the other side, holding the roses to your chest. he turns when you don't follow him inside. you get a glimpse of him as a whole, the man that he is, big and menacing and taken. you wonder if he will wear his ring under his glove or if he will put it on the chain that holds his dog tags.
"is this where you live?" you ask. you stay on the other side, looking in, a little timid as you stand there.
he nods, silent. he crosses his arms over his chest, and you admire the bulge of them, the paint of skeleton bones along the fingers of his gloves. you look him up and down before smiling a little.
"is this where i will live, too?"
he shakes his head, a no.
"can't have a thing like y'here," he murmurs. "boys'll eat y'up."
you tilt your head to the side.
"i find that hard to believe," you quip. "do people often eat what's yours, lieutenant?"
he snarls, narrowing his eyes. "no one takes wot's mine."
"then what are you so afraid of?"
"that 'f y'r 'ere, i won't get any fuckin' work done."
you break out into a big smile, pearly white teeth flashing, and he clicks his tongue at your reaction. he reaches up and lifts his mask, pushing it up until it rests over his nose. his nose is crooked from being broken so many times. his face is scarred, as if someone took a blade and carved out the skin and muscle. a deep one stretches from somewhere under the mask to his lip, where it looks as if the skin was haphazardly stitched back together. another long jagged grey streak comes over the line of his cheek down his jaw, as if someone tried to peel his face off.
he grins. it's ugly and unsettling, as if he sees prey that he knows he will catch. your own smile does not fade. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, and you want to taste him. beast, bear, killing machine, the boogeyman, a ghost that haunts, you do not know exactly what he is, but you know, immediately, that he is what you have been searching for.
you do not know him. you do not love him yet, but you will. you are sure of this. you are sure that he is missing piece. he will fill the spaces that you have always felt hollow. he will scratch a place in your head that has always itched. there is something in his eyes, you're not exactly sure what it is, but you can't wait to discover it. you can't wait to explore, to indulge, to lick the salt of his skin and know that everything he is has been waiting for something like you.
you did not choose him, but he chose you, and now you see it clearly. you see this thing, and you know the truth of what's been hiding from you all your life. the curtain has been taken down. the veil is off. the walls are invisible.
"come 'ere," he says lowly. "won't ask so nicely next time."
you drop the flowers onto the floor, crossing the doorway. you kick the door shut, hearing it click, and he comes closer, until you can feel his breath fanning your nose.
"will you love me?" you ask, wringing your hands together nervously. "do you think maybe...do you think maybe that's possible?"
he licks over his teeth, humming. he leans down, knocking your chin up, and your breath hitches when he licks up the side of your jaw, taking in a whiff of your perfume and the sweetness of his bride.
"what a stupid word," he mutters, biting at the curve of your bottom lip. "meaningless. love. bloody hell."
"w-what...what?"
"a meaningless fuckin' word for the things i would do for ya," he continues. "the things i would kill. the heads i would step on. the sorry fucks i would get rid of...just to see y'smile."
your eyes flutter. yes, yes, yes--the unconditional devotion. the terrifyingly beautiful reality of through sickness and in health, until death do us part.
"is it really that easy, simon?" you ask. his gloved hands slip over your throat, sliding low and skimming the silk of your dress before he cups both sides of your ass and squeezes, drawing you closer until you are uncomfortably pressed up against him. his gear digs into your softness, sharp edges cutting into you, but you ignore it as he begins to draw up the skirt of your dress. "is it really that easy to say you'll do all of that for me? isn't it...it's wrong, isn't it? to do those things for me?"
he laughs. humorless, condescending. as if that is the stupidest thing you could have ever said.
"'s olright, swee'eart. gonna take all those ideas outta y'r pretty lil' head."
you relax when you feel his gloved hand under the hem of your white lace panties. your eyes shut, and you reach forward and grip his vest for stability.
"christ..." he hisses. "y'r soaked..."
you are. you have been since you first laid eyes on him, on everything he is. you know why you are here, and he knows why he is here, and that is because there were two people so desperate to find one another, that they let someone else choose. the gods, fate, whatever they want to be called.
matched by design, together by choice.
you lean forward and kiss beside his lips, and you whine when his big fingers slide between your folds, soft on your clit before he fits two fingers inside of you. his gloves are warm, and you wet them easily.
"wot a good girl," he breathes. "knew y'were the right one."
"y-you did?"
"could see it in y'r eyes, dove. could see wot y'needed. could see it plain as fuckin' day. dyin' inside, just like me, aye?"
you shake your head.
"n-not anymore...not anymore..." you gasp, and he tsks as he steps backward, the weight of him heavy as he takes a seat on his perfectly made bed, bringing you with him. you fall into his lap, unafraid to because you know someone of his size can carry you easily, and he hums as you spread your thighs apart. you straddle him, pressed up against the gun holstered to his chest, and you moan softly against his scarred face as he fucks you open with three unforgiving fingers.
"not anymore," he echos, baring his teeth as he pumps his hand. the squelch of it is filthy, but it isn't enough. he wants you to soak his arm, his thighs, his bed, let the slick of you stain him from the outside in. "not anymore. not as my wife."
you scramble. you rip the veil out of your hair, untie the corset of your dress. there's a naked angel in his lap, perky tits and soft figure, giving way to the gorgeous place you keep hidden by white, wet lace. the place that is his, the place that belongs to him, a pretty pussy that will keep him satiated until he breathes no longer.
after he tears apart his enemy, he will have you. after he tastes the blood he desires to see run, he will have you. the adrenaline, the fire, the shout of every order and the sound of their cries, it won't exist anymore in this place, he knows it.
"y'll never want for anythin'," he mutters. "y'll never be lonely. always get wot y'want...wot y'need...wot y'deserve..."
you reach up and cup his cheeks gently, pressing your mouth to his as you ride his fingers eagerly. you want him, you want this, you want all of it, even if it isn't what's right. but something brought you here, right into his arms, and this is what you deserve.
he's not even human, you don't think. he must be something else. with how good he makes you feel, with the sheer precision that he rocks his fingers into you, the way he smiles, he must be made of only something synthetic, something not organic.
you feel so small underneath him. he tosses you onto the bed, your head hitting the pillow gently. you giggle, and his grin widens. he has a warm pink tongue, and it's between his teeth, and you giggle again when he moves his head from side to side, staring down at you. he's studying you. you assume he has seen photos of you, but this is his first time seeing his bride for all that she is. soft, pretty, unscathed by war. at least on the outside--but on the inside, you are not as you seem.
there's a parasite in you. something that slithers behind your eyes and settles in that corner of your brain that only he can touch. he knows that feeling well. he feels it every time he is in the field, and he feels it now, with you. he chases this tick when he works. it knocks his senses just right, makes him feel good and big, like the reaper that he really is. he can be this with a rifle in his hand, and he can be this without it, with the weight of his wife in his hands.
you smile, biting your lip, and you spread your legs for him. his eyes fall between your thighs, and he chuckles. he brings his gloved hand up to his mouth, the one that smells like you, and you watch as he slips it inside, sucking on it for a moment before he uses his teeth to take both gloves off.
he bends, still in all his military glory, and he sticks his tongue out, licking a fat stripe up the seam of your cunt, using one thumb to pull the puffy lip apart and suckle on your clit for just a moment.
you gasp, arching your back, and he stands to his full height again, laughing.
"oh, y'taste sweet," he purrs. "y'taste good. hard t'believe i'll have this cunny for m'whole fuckin' life."
"believe it, baby," you coo, and he sighs. he nods his head, reaching low, gripping himself through his cargo pants and squeezing his cock. you follow his movements, watching him pay special attention to the tip of him, running his finger over where you guess the slit is as he watches you squirm. "why are you so far away, simon? don't you want me?"
he laughs again, smiling wide, and he nods.
"course i want ya, swee'eart. who wouldn't want ya, huh? who wouldn't want this?"
you meet his eyes. the question is a sound one, but it never mattered that you were wanted, what mattered is that you never wanted. not really. not until now.
you watch him as he reaches for his zipper. he undoes it easily, unbuttoning his pants and shoving them low. they won't go very low, thanks to the holsters around his thighs, but it's enough that you watch his cock stand at attention, the red tip of him leaking down the sides, making the bulging vein on the underside of him shine.
you whine a little, and he growls happily, watching as you cup the swell of your tits and squeeze them in anticipation. perfect, perfect, perfect girl, practically a mail-order bride that checks every single fucking box.
he grips you by the thighs, yanking you to the edge of the bed. you whimper when he slides the tip through your folds, letting it catch at the entrance before smirking down at you.
"'s big," you hiccup, and he tsks, shaking his head.
"y'can take it, swee'eart," he murmurs. "y'r a riley now, luvvie. y'know what tha' means?" you shake your head, your eyes a little watery, and he smooths a hand up your sternum, gripping you around the throat gently. "gonna find out...gonna find out how well a riley takes wot they're given."
"simon--"
"'s alright, luv, we'll start nice, yeah?" he breathes. you grip onto his forearms when he feeds you his cock, slowly, and your back bows at a sharp angle as you squeeze him for everything he is. "fuckin' hell...yeah, just the tip, yeah? oh, good girl..."
good girl, yeah...i'm a good girl--
you cry out, digging your nails into him when he mutters fuck it and bottoms out. his palm flattens just under your belly button, a choked groan leaving him as he presses down, a rush of something fucking glorious running down his spine. it's a high--he's so fucking high, as if he is popping fucking pills.
"feel me here, yeah?" he drags his hips back, smoothing a hand further up your stomach until he paws one of your tits, squeezing it firmly. you nod, sliding your hands up his arms, fisting the fabric of his mask at the base of his neck. you feel him everywhere, you feel him in your chest, running down your spine, you feel him in your mouth and in your head, and it feels so good, it feels so so so so good.
"yes--yes!" you gasp. fuck, he's huge, he's putting a shadow over you. you're naked, bare underneath him, and his gear rocks with every thrust, and it's filthy because you wonder if he worked, you wonder if he didn't even change before he went to marry his perfectly-picked bride, you wonder if he got off the tarmac not even an hour after killing his target to go and take what is his.
how long ago was it that he last fired his weapon? the gun on his chest, did he use it before he saw you?
i bet he did. i bet he used it. i bet he smoked the cigarette that i smell on him, and i bet he came here, and then he married me, and now he's all mine, and he's fucking me six ways to fucking sunday--
you think you're drooling. your lips are wet, and with every smack of his hips against yours, you feel a little more trickle down the side of your face. you're moaning, gripping his neck, pulling him further down on top of you. you want him all around you, you want him inside, you want him to come every day wearing this terrifying fucking uniform and to fuck you so stupid, you forget everything except for the name he has given you.
you want to know nothing except for his name. simon. riley. simon. riley.
you want to know nothing except for what you are. his wife. his wife. his wife.
it's so hard to remember to breathe. his hands grip you tight around the hips, and he's losing momentum, hissing, letting out choked groans as he brands the shape of his cock into you. he never wants you to forget what he feels like--he never wants you to know anything except for him, for the rest of your life.
"simon--" you whine, and he smirks, reaching up to hold your face in one big hand, keeping you still as you chase the grind of his pelvis against your puffy clit. "simon--!"
"tha'sit, luvvie...yeah..." he nods, "look at me--look at me," he leans down, a big weight over you, suffocating you, "good girl, yeah..." he clicks his tongue, "cum f'me, swee'eart. cum f'y'r husband, yeah?"
you lean up, chasing after him, gripping onto the sides of his face as you kiss him hard. it is the first time you really kiss him. slotting your mouth over his, slipping your tongue into his mouth, the sting of your wedding ring cooling his warm face as you taste him for the very first time.
it is gone. the bitterness that you always taste, the acid and the sourness and everything that always is so unpleasant under your tongue, it is gone when you have him. he takes it out of your mouth completely, and you chase after this just as you chase after the harsh grind of your clit against his pelvis.
he is carrying you. you're lifting, coming over some kind of sweet, exhilarating euphoria, and you're blinded by it, by the feeling, by him. you want more, more, you want it all, and he said you could have anything you want, that you'll never need anything ever again, he said, he said, he said--!
he laughs when you come. he swallows your moans, hisses when you soak his pants. you are the prettiest thing he could ever hope for, the personification of the things he does not deserve and could never have, and it is selfish that he has taken you this way, but he does not fucking care.
the things we cannot have are the sweetest, the most desirable. and simon is nothing if he isn't a thief.
he is nothing if he doesn't just take what he wants. he likes to think that perhaps he adopts the "ask for forgiveness, and not for permission" philosophy, but he does not ask for forgiveness. and he has never asked for permission.
"please--simon--" you gasp, looking up at him. your eyes are wet, and a few tears wet his hand around your face. "please--inside me, please..."
"'s olright, luv--" he grunts, pumping faster, his pretty little wife just begging for him, for more, and how could he say no to that? "easy, baby...i'll give it t'ya, don't worry, fuck--" he hisses, "lieutenant's wife gets woteva she wants..."
"please--inside--" you choke. "simon, inside, i-i want it inside--"
fuck, that is all he needed. he nestles deep, pressing his hips to yours, and you kiss him once more when you go blind again. a second high, when he stuffs you full. just as you should be. just as you always should be.
"yeah, fuck--" he breathes. "tha' wot y'wanted, yeah? nice and full, good girl..." he licks his lips, standing up straight, and just when you think he is pulling out, he yanks you back towards him, cum leaking down your thighs as you cry out from being so sensitive.
"simon!" you gasp, giggling, and he grins, patting your ass gently before pulling out. you let your knees fall onto the cot, swallowing hard as you watch him tuck himself back into his pants and zip them up. he brings the mask back down, and you watch as he slips his gloves back on. "hmm..."
he tilts his head to the side, sighing as he watches you settle there. something warm settles in his stomach, something satisfied.
"like havin' y'in my bed," he says lowly. "look nice there."
you smile, and he holds out one hand, beckoning you to sit up. you do, slowly, a little shaky as you try and compose yourself, and he leans down and kisses you through the mask. you close your eyes, humming, leaning into his touch.
"so i can stay?" you ask, and he chuckles.
"mmm...y'r so cute, luvvie..." he rumbles. "a doll, yeah? can't say no to ya."
you look down at the ring on your finger, a solid gold band complete with a precious diamond. you will have to get used to this--you are his wife, you can ask things of him, and you don't think he'll say no.
you look up at him when he tosses something at you. an army green shirt of his, and you slip it on, letting the fabric fall, and you lay back down in his cot as he moves around his room. you lay in comfortable silence, watching as the thing that calls himself your husband looks for files on his desk, adjusts the gun strapped to his thigh, shuffles his boots across the linoleum. you are mesmerized by what he is, and you haven't known him even a day.
you don't believe this is your vision askew. the honeymoon phase. the sugary sweet moments in time at the beginning where nothing is wrong, where all is well. simon riley is a practical man. he does not lie. he does not do things he does not want to do, and he does not say things he does not want to say. he is not in the business of comfort and ease, that much is clear to you.
simon riley is practical and resourceful. you think maybe he counts his words. that he doesn't say more than he has to. waste his energy on things that don't require it.
his wife. i'm his wife. his wife.
"why..." you swallow. "why...why did you pick me?"
he pauses as he stands in front of a locker. when he opens it, you see shelves of personal weapons stashed away, handguns of different sizes and shapes, knives of differing steel, toys that with a small push of a finger could destroy whatever building they went off inside. you don't flinch, don't blink, don't feel fear. you don't know why, but you just don't. you don't think it's possible.
he doesn't look at you as he surveys what lines the walls of it.
"just knew y'were the one f'me, swee'eart," he mutters. he shuts the locker, and the lock clicks. he comes closer, twirling a small blade between his fingers, and you don't cower away when he flicks it towards you, holding your chin up with the sharp tip of it. he hums appreciatively at this. "in all honesty, had no idea really until i saw ya, 'f you'd be mine."
he bends down, leans close, and you follow the curve of the blade with your head, keeping your eyes on his. there is no timidness in your gaze, and for that, he beams under the mask. perfection in one woman.
"and what would you have done if i wasn't the one?"
he shrugs.
"would've killed ya, luv."
"just like that?"
"just like tha'."
the tip of his blade drags, sliding up the length of your throat, along the line of your jaw. your lips part as he traces your mouth with it, and you tilt your head to the side as you trace the edge of it with your tongue. he leans forward more, pressing his forehead to yours, and you can see where the eye-black around his eyes fades into his pale skin under the balaclava. you see yourself in those eyes. the you that you have been waiting for. the you that you have missed for your entire life. the you that has been hiding, too scared to come out, too afraid of what might be said if someone saw the real you.
she had not been hiding. just lying dormant, in someone else, waiting for you to come home.
you smile, big, and simon presses his mouth to yours again through the mask, kissing you there, growling from deep in his chest, a purr that only emanates the contentment and the relief he feels because he has found that thing to live for. it is so easy to die. it is so easy to give oneself for what they believe. it is not hard to give the best of yourself away, he knows that.
what he has never been able to do is find something that will keep him alive. he has only ever lived because he found dying pathetic. he found it cowardly. but the alternative had been just as unforgiving, just as unfulfilling. but not this. not you.
you will make it difficult to die. you will make death a challenge. and when he eyes that smile, this one that you give only to him, he is happy to be given this new objective.
"but don't worry y'r pretty head about all tha', luv."
you give him those eyes, and he drinks it all in, all that you are. finally, finally, finally--
"until death do we part, yeah?"
NEXT
#this got AWAY FROM ME#pleaseeeeeeeeee i swear idk where this CAME FROM#take away the computer#TAKE IT#take it FROM ME#what is wrong with me#seriously lmao#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost mw2#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#ghost mwii#ghost x reader#cod#call of duty#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#dark!simon#simon thoughts
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I'm so tired of feeling like this.
#actually mentally ill#depressing shit#mental health#sorry for being depressing#anxi4ty#cw vent#i cant take this shit anymore#im going to kms#im losing it#ready to kms#depressing life#kill my life#why am i like this#i wanna kms#kms#i want to kms#what is wrong with me#i hate this#what the fuck#i dont get it#i hate everything#i dont care anymore#fuck everything#mentally fucked#i have no mouth and i must scream#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#mentally exhausted#im a horrible person#mentally unstable#bed rotting
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Cute ✨🌸
#pressure roblox#sebastian solace#pressure#sebby#sebastian solace plushie#roblox#size 2 fish#what is wrong with me
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#writers and poets#what is wrong with me#art#the secret history#camilla macaulay#henry winter#richard papen#francis abernathy#bunny corcoran#books#literature#donna tartt
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Why did I just have a sudden vision mid-meeting about Dean lying on his front in bed, looking at his phone or whatever, and his reader-girlfriend climbing over him, for cuddles initially, but then his lil peach ass gets in the way and she starts grinding against him from behind and he's really into it?
I need to be put down. Yes, those reports look great. She comes, btw, face pressed into Dean's neck, moaning loudly. Dean does too just from dry humping the bed, gets himself all messy. Yes, absolutely, end of quarter sounds great. Somebody please shoot me.
#do I need to write this?#sub!dean#my beloved#what is wrong with me#truly ruined by this fuckass show#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#dean winchester x you#dean winchester x reader#sorry's headcanons#sorry's shitposting
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#poetry#quote#quotes#literature#poem#lover#what is wrong with me#words#writers on tumblr#writing#ageing#growing up#growth#childhood#nostalgia#nostalgic#nostaligiacore
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What’s poppin‘! I’m making a little satosugu doujin thing! Come hang on my free patreon tier to see when it drops ✨
#comics are my passion but so is back pain it seems#this is the final thing of that engagement trap I mean seduce suguru challenge because I don’t know when to QUITTT#what is wrong with me#my art#bluebeesart#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#satosugu#satoru gojo#suguru geto
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a little sneak peek at something im working on :^D
#hogwarts legacy#someone sedate me#what is wrong with me#why do i do this to myself#animation wip#boots up game for the 20th time to get backgrounds
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As much as I hate to keep posting about this, I got a lovely message from a fan!! I feel like you should read them:
Like bro, I’m here for fun. Why is this shit happening to me??
I’m so tempted to just fucking delete tumblr as a whole. Like I write and post on here for fun and I love writing because writing stories about things I wish I could experience in life is kinda therapeutic for me but why should I write and share if this is going to keep happening to me?
I’m honestly just about fucking done.
(not even an hour later) edit:

COPYING A FUCKING A STORY WHERE IM TALKING ABOUT A FUCKING TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE IN MY LIFE IS FUCKING INSANITY! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS SHAKING AND SOBBING WRITING THIS BECAUSE I HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST AND YOURE MAKING IT “YOUR OWN STORY”??
i’m fucking done with tumblr. i’m done.
#what is wrong with me#what is wrong with people#why is this happening#why are they like this#why me#this is ridiculous#this is insane#report#report them#block them#f1#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#charles leclerc#lewis hamilton#logan sargent fluff#f1 smut#carlos sainz x you#oscar piastri x reader#arthur leclerc x reader#george russel x reader#lando x y/n#carlos sainz x reader#lando x you#max verstappen x reader#lando x reader#x reader
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𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢 × 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 || 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝟏𝟖+
[warnings: smut, 18+ content, piv, fluff, creampie, unprotected sex, dominant/switch nanami, fem!reader, praise kink lowkey]

[A/N: this is my first fanfic + english isnt my first language so bear with me LOL also i never watched JJK and idk shit about the show so this is purely out of my own understanding of Nanami's character and a few headcannons which ive seen ppl give him :3 pls dont hunt me down if i mischaracterise this beefcake of a man]
Click.
"Darling, I'm home."
The apartment door opened, signalling the arrival of your husband, Nanami. The mere sound of your husband's soothing, baritone voice was enough to make you perk up from the kitchen and come rushing towards him. Nanami stumbled back slightly from the sheer impact of you practically lunging yourself at him in a tight embrace. A soft smile graced his lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his nose in your hair, taking a big inhale and murmuring, "Missed you."
"I missed you too, love. Too much." You mumbled into his chest, your voice slightly petulant but Nanami knew that it was all just an act and that he could turn you into a whimpering mess with a few touches. Nevertheless, he decided to play along. "Hm? Really, darling?" He purred, his voice sending a pleasant tingle down your spine yet you managed to keep a straight face and respond, your voice slightly shaky. "Y-yeah. What? Don't believe me?" You huffed, tilting your head back to see the slight smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. God, you could feel your cheeks heating up at the thought of his lips exploring every inch of your body.
"No, no, it's not that I don't believe you..." He trailed off, his hands swiftly moving to lift you up and carry you to the living room couch in bridal style. Once you were secured on his lap, your thighs on either side of his hips, straddling him, he continued his words with a touch of oh-so-familiar cheekiness, "I just expected that my lovely wife would demonstrate how much she missed me."
There it was. The words, the tone, the damn look of pure admiration and lust in his eyes that made you feel weak in the knees. Without a second thought, you crashed your lips onto his. The moment your soft lips met his, he reciprocated the kiss back, a moan slipping into your mouth as he deepened the kiss with his tongue. Nanami's hands wandered down from your waist to cup your ass, the feeling of the supple flesh already making his mind go haywire and his slacks tighten. You pulled away from the kiss, your tongue slightly out and a string of saliva on the corner of your mouth. Nanami was already flushed but his grip on your ass was relentless. Before you could even think of what to do, Nanami moved his hips upwards, grinding against your panty-clad core and making sure you felt how hard he was even through his work attire.
"C'mon, darling. Don't keep your man waitin'" He whispered as he began adorning your jaw and neck with kisses and love bites. A moan escaped your lips at the feeling of his teeth sinking into the skin of your neck, leaving a red hickey. "Y-you're so impatient, Ken..." The words came out as a pouty mumble, your words barely coherent from the heat of the moment. You pushed yourself down on him, grinding in a teasingly slow manner against his rock-hard cock, earning a low groan from your husband. His head lolled back on the couch cushions and he shut his eyes tightly as he basked in the pleasure. "Quit being a tease, love." He muttered but the sight of your hardworking husband being reduced into a moaning, desperate mess after a long day of work was a sight to behold.
You slowly stopped your ministrations but before Nanami could complain, your fingers quickly undid his belt. The sound of the zipper opening echoed in the otherwise quiet apartment, the air thick with desire and anticipation as Nanami watched your reaction to his thick length straining the fabric of his black boxers. "Perv." You grumbled and playfully rolled your eyes as your index finger lightly grazed the tip of his cock, beads of precum already staining his boxers causing Nanami to subconsciously jerk his hips forward, begging for more of your touch.
Nanami let out a soft chuckle at your words, his eyes crinkling from both amusement and adoration. "Only for you, Y/N." His words were strangely sincere despite the rather intimate scenario you both were in, but that's what you could only expect from him. A genuine smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you pulled down his boxers, his thick cock springing out and throbbing. Without another word, you slipped out of your panties and hovered just above his aching length. Nanami could feel the heat and slickness so close to the tip of his cock. He needed to be inside you.
"Darling, please-" Nanami's words were cut off by a low moan escaping his lips the moment you sunk down onto his cock. "Y-you're so big, Ken..." You mumbled mostly to yourself, the sensation of his cock stretching your slick cunt never failed to make you even wetter. You slowly began to move your hips, each thrust and movement eliciting erotic moans and gasps from both of you. Nanami gritted his teeth trying to let you take control as you began to bounce your hips faster. His fingers were digging onto the supple flesh of your ass as he tried to restrain himself from flipping you over to your stomach and pounding into you relentlessly. He wasn't used to letting you lead, after all.
His thoughts were cut off the moment you began riding him at a faster pace, angling your hips so that his cock would hit a particularly sensitive, deep spot. "Y/N, f-fuck..." He moaned your name over and over again like a prayer. His thoughts were a mess and his words were basically incoherent with the only word he could muster up being your name. God, he was so easy to wreck. You could feel his cock twitch inside you, nearing closer and closer to his release. You were right about to come yourself but that was long forgotten once Nanami flipped you over to your stomach onto the couch and hovered over your vulnerable form. "Hey, baby wait-" Your words died on your tongue as Nanami began to pound into you relentlessly. You buried your face in a pillow, the sound of skin-to-skin contact reverberating through the walls. As for Nanami, his pace was fast and deep. His eyes were glued to the sight of your ass recoiling with each thrust, the view only fueling his determination to fuck you senseless.
"Such a good little wife for me." He punctuated his words with a deep thrust, causing you to whine in pleasure. The muffled sounds of your moans and whimpers almost made Nanami lose his rhythm. Almost. The lewd sounds of your wet cunt taking his cock was loud enough to earn him a noise complaint from the neighbours the next morning but that was the last thing on his mind when his pretty wife is being dicked down by him in the living room couch.
"K-ken... I'm gon-" You pathetically mumbled into the pillow, feeling the overwhelming heat pool in your gut and the slick walls of your cunt tighten as Nanami drove you to your climax. With one last, deep thrust, you both came. Your juices coated his cock and his warm cum filling every inch of your needy cunt. The mix of both of your arousal leaked onto the couch cushions, further increasing the intimacy and eroticism of Nanami's 'display of love'. Despite your climax, Nanami wasn't done with you — he slowed his pace, his finger reaching down to toy with your swollen clit as he continued to fuck you, the overwhelming sensations prolonging both of your climaxes. He slowed down and finally stopped, taking a moment to admire the feeling of being inside you before carefully pulling out. You gasped at the sudden emptiness you felt but it was quickly overshadowed by embarrassment and arousal as you felt Nanami smearing the cum leaking out of your filled cunt onto your ass.
"You're so mean, Ken." Your words were muffled as you buried your face into the pillow, hiding your bright red cheeks from your husband who was looking down at you with a flushed yet cocky expression. It was clear that he took great pride in making sure his wife's needs were met, no matter how much of a fuss you put on.
"Not my fault you're easy to please." Nanami chuckled and began placing kisses down from your shoulder blades to your spine. "I'm not done with you yet, darling. We have a long night ahead of us." He murmured in-between kisses, the words were soft and reassuring, yet still having a hint of dominance in it.
ty 4 reading this fanfic babes
tagz:
#⊹ ࣪ ˖ futilemillipedefics#i never watched jjk but this man is so fine#ao3#fanfic#18+ mdni#chubby reader#jjk x reader#jjk smut#fanfic writers#minors dni#jjk nanami#fanfic writing#smut#what is wrong with me#writers on tumblr#new writers on tumblr#ao3 writer#nanami kento#nanami x reader#nanami x y/n#x y/n#x you
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У меня сейчас полная каша в голове, поэтому мне это пришло в голову :/
My head is all messed up right now, so this came to my mind :/
#portal#portal 2#portal fanart#wheatley#portal wheatley#artist on tumblr#digital art#game art#paint tool sai#wtf#what is wrong with me
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My type in men is a form of self harm
#this is what makes us girls#girlblogging#this is a girlblog#coquette#hell is a teenage girl#lana del rey#grunge#90s#alternative#courtney love#just girly things#girl blogger#tumblr girls#alt girl#girl problems#im just a girl#girlhood#actually mentally ill#mental illness#situationships#whats going on#what is wrong with me#idk what im doing#vent post#vent#relatable#shitpost
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