rosechord-blog

[rosechord-blog]

Definitely still want Lorwyn.

What, if anything, can the community do to help facilitate a return to Lorwyn? Or is it now wholly left on the design team to come up with a meaningful reason to go back (without any help from the community) together with the higher ups signing off on a return to a poorly selling plane (without any help from the community)?

There’s not much you can do besides being vocal about wanting it. I’ve spent plenty time thinking about it.

[rosechord-blog]

A Reminder To Take Care Of Yourselves

While this blog is syscourse free, we’re not going to pretend that it doesn’t exist, nor are we going to pretend that the syscourse has no effect on people - both those who participate and those who don’t. 

So, to the ones who do participate in syscourse, we would like to remind you to take care of yourselves. Disengage from the drama, block people who aren’t listening or have decided that it’s okay to be mean/cruel, and don’t let them tell you who you are. And also, remember that you have a big loving community who loves you and that the inbox is always open for those who need to vent or just talk to someone. Remember that it’s not “them or us” like they keep trying to tell you it is. 

And for people who don’t participate in syscourse, the same message goes out to you. Take care of yourselves. Block people who refuse to respect your boundaries, ignore or unfollow people who bring drama into your life, disengage from the drama and spend some time doing things you love and enjoy. 

Please remember that we are better together and that, no matter what anyone says, you are real, you are valid, and you are worthy. Please stay strong and please have a wonderful night. 

[rosechord-blog]

Today we went to work, were competent at our job, and then came home, set up our fancy lighting system and did a bunch *more* competent stuff with an RPG we’re running and some socializing we’re planning.

Basically today has been ultra productive, if a touch cold.

Daily Question #20

Now that the holidays are over, people are returning to their everyday lives. What is one thing you did today that made you feel accomplished? 

-Jamie

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Thalia, Rose and Fae all pretend to be Noelle (the outward facing person) a lot to make sure that 1. we don’t get into any further trouble and 2. to protect Noelle and the other Notes from the more dangerous and painful things we run into. Rose in particular handles that a lot since most things slide off her.

For a long time they did little more than pretend to be her. Now we’re letting them be themselves when we can, and it’s better. Hard and scary, but better.

I’m sorry if you’ve gotten this question before! Two of my protector headmates pretend to be me in order to protect me from harsh judgement. Do other people’s alters and headmates do this? I want to let them be their own people too, but I’m not sure what to do.

That sounds like a pretty common experience, yeah. Working on system communication and working through trauma to the point where your system feels safe will definitely help with this. 

Anyone want to share experiences like this? 

[rosechord-blog]

“But are there actually people who know they’re queer that young?”

[rosechord-blog]

We’d love to answer some of these.

System Ask

1. Give examples of their different writing styles/handwriting.

2. Who argues a lot?

3. Does anyone have any weird habits that they do with the body that annoy the others?

4. Who makes cofronting the worst decision ever?

5. Do you have any alters/headmates you keep away from your friends at all costs? (because they are embarrassing or weird)

6. Who will listen to you talk about something and then tell your friends your secrets as soon as they front?

7. Is anyone dating each other?

8. What does your headspace look like?

9. If they could all chose to have their own bodies, would they?

10. Do you have any non-human members?

11. Do you have any members that no one ever sees or talks to?

12. Do you have a schedule for fronting?

13. How many have blogs on here that are separate from each others?

14. Who is the dad/mom/parent of the system?

15. Who hates everyone and doesn’t want to be there?

16. Who talks all day in the headspace and then never opens their mouth while fronting?

17. Who would be most likely to blow all the money on food?

18. Who would be most likely to antagonize a fight and then leave front right when it starts?

19. Are there any familia relationships in the system? (brothers, sisters, moms, cousins, etc)

20. Do you have any fictives?

[rosechord-blog]

This is really well-written and (as a super-duper white person with a couple of nonwhite headmates) is a good reminder of how to handle things.

Can a DFAB body have a trans feminine alter / can a DMAB body have a trans masculine alter?

Is it possible? Yeah. They really only tend to form in response to CSA trauma. Alters are protective mechanisms- if a girl having a male alter protects her in some way, then the alter serves his purpose. If a boy is helped by a female alter, then that protection mechanism makes sense. For children coping with sexual trauma, it can be very reassuring to have an alter who cannot be harmed in the same way- either through having different genitalia or no genitalia(in the case of alien alters and some nonhuman alters, etc). This rule of protection explains a lot of alter traits.

So it’s possible, but there are a few issues to address. 

Fetishization of trans people is rampant and malingerers/false systems tend to be pretty vocal about their “trans alters.” I’d be skeptical of people who have have only very sexual trans alters while their cis alters are not. I’d be skeptical of anyone speaking out on an issue they don’t experience. This comes across a lot like the “circumgender” stuff- it’s fetishy! 

It’s very important to remember that alters don’t experience disprivileges that the body doesn’t. A blind alter in an abled body cannot fully understand the difficulties faced by a blind person. A nonwhite alter in a white body is not subject to racism. A trans alter in a cis body does not experience transphobia and shouldn’t speak out on issues related to transphobia or dysphoria (and shouldn’t silence trans people). Transfeminine alters in DFAB bodies don’t experience transmisogny. Alters are complex identities and none of what I’m saying should be interpreted to say “alters aren’t real people,” I’m saying that “alters should not speak out on disprivileges their body does not experience.” 

Alters have identities that don’t always align with that of the body. HOWEVER, people with such alters should take care that the alters don’t speak out on issues they don’t face and to check themselves for fetishization. Trans people cannot be reduced to genitalia and it’s transphobic to equate trans experiences to trauma or sexuality (they’re different issues). I hope this makes sense and I wish we had more descriptive terms to talk about the issues of traumatized alters with, without intruding on transgender experiences. 

[rosechord-blog]

Losing loved ones is always a challenge, be they loved ones that had independent corporeal forms or not.

Reminder Regarding Headmates

It is okay to mourn headmates who aren’t around anymore, whatever the reason may be - whether they left the system, disappeared one day, or passed away. It’s okay to mourn the fact that they’re not around anymore and it’s healthy to express that in whatever form helps you. 

No matter what anyone else says, each and every one of us are real people and it’s not only okay to grieve those who are no longer here, but necessary and healthy to do so. 

-Amethyst

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We have an RP character who is grappling with multiplicity. (Hers is magical, because that’s the setting).

Arguably everyone there should’ve thought about it.

No one asked any questions, though.

Daily Question #15

Have you ever hinted at being plural around singlets and, if so, did they notice? 

-Pearl 

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Twice, and both times the person on the other end knew us well enough to give us a “what the fuck” look.

Wound up accidentally outing ourselves to these people. They weren’t awful, but they didn’t handle it particularly well, I’d say.

Learned our lesson; if one of us wants to tell somebody, make a firm decision, don’t waffle.

Daily Question #14

Have you ever accidentally said, “we” instead of “I” around a singlet and what were the results? 

-Raphael 

[rosechord-blog]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OWq38TikzU

!!!!!

Daily Question #12

Are there any songs that remind you& of plurality that you really like? (Does not matter if it’s a “good representation or not”, only whether or not you enjoy it). 

-Amethyst 

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Is the server protected and safe? Sorry, I just want to make sure no gatekeepers will be hiding out in it unexpectedly or something

Yes, the server is safe. 

We have it set up so that anyone coming in can only see a few servers and we check their background before letting them into the rest of the server. 

Also, I think I may have forgotten to set the other link to never expire, so here’s another: https://discord.gg/XcJgCbX 

-Pearl

[rosechord-blog]

I am. Because I know enough to understand what must be done next and to proceed to actually stand up and do it.

-May

(Mi May is kind of executive functioning given a name. When something unpleasant just flat out has to get done, odds are high that May’s the one who does it.)

Daily Question #9

Who is considered “the responsible one?” 

-Amethyst

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Host: “And this is how we talk to our family--”

Persecutor: “PUNCH THEM”

Host: “That’s a terri--”

Persecutor: “FIGHT THEM”

Host: “Look I know they’re imperfect but--”

Persecutor: “SLAY THEM FOR YOUR HONOR”

[rosechord-blog]

Basically all of us swooned a little over Steven Universe.

We are particularly invested in Garnet as a healthy form of multiplicity/cofronting.

And Harmony likes the cute fluffy animals.

Daily Question #8

Are there any games, movies, tv shows, or media in general that you and your system mates have bonded over? 

-Raphael 

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We used to scramble up stairs on all fours and try to bite at things we liked and/or that were dangled in front of us.

Blame Nikki, she’s a cat creature.

its so weird to like. realize you have alters because ever since I can remember I’ve acted like a snarling dog during the most random times and I’ve never had an explanation for it nor did I feel any rage from my trauma and now its more than likely because I have an alter we call Rage who is a child werewolf creature that is primal and its. wild.

anyone else had that sorta realization?

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Harmony likes soft things, music and happy animals. She doesn’t like being touched or loud noises. -Mel

Who are your littles in your system? What are their favorite activities?