rottentarsoul - Tumblr blog

[rottentarsoul]

TW: YAPPING

ashley being a girl is so important to me it's not even funny.

i think she has become a sort of comfort character for me. her being so wrong, so flawed, so evil gives me a sense of catharsis many other characters failed to replicate.

through her dialogue, her personality, her character... she feels like the horrors of being a woman incarnate. wether people choose to acknowledge it or not, because society expects different things from boys and girls, they're treated differently when they differ from the standards imposed on them. that's why i think ashley's impact would be very different if she were a man, hell, it would probably be a very different story, with a whole new character.

she is the one who cleans the house and cooks, despite andrew being the parentified sibling. she is the one who is insecure about her appearance and sees sex as a transaction. she is the one who has bursting, explosive emotions that tend to be dismissed. she is the one who can't help feeling competitive over other women. she is a nightmare, and instills nightmares on others, all while being our unladylike girl with awesome fat tits.

i was raised as a girl, and grew up autistic. it wasn't great. and although my past differs from ashley's, when i see her i think to myself, "she gets it."

i see a lot of trans girlies finding comfort in ashley too. bpd girlies. girls who were othered. maybe we want the sense of freedom to feel anger about past experiences. maybe she is just a healthy(?) way to deal with the inherent darkness(tm). i'm not entirely sure. but i think there are many reasons women can connect with ashley.

i mean, outside of tumblr she was hated and very few even bothered to look at things from her perspective. and maybe i am ignorant, but as far as i know, the majority of the fanbase outside tumblr is (very) normie men.

they don't even understand cannibalism!

[rottentarsoul]

[rottentarsoul]

If anyone tries to tell you PCOS isn't disabling, they're a bitchass liar!!!!

[rottentarsoul]

Laughing my absolute ass off that Nemlei and Kit9 made an official post doubling down on "HEY, THE PARENTS ARE THE WORST, TRUST YOUR SISTER-GIRLFRIEND, IDIOT!"

Also, just having any new Andy & Leyley content before the monthly update? Happy days!

[rottentarsoul]

A little fit check with some of our accessories! We're cute right?

[rottentarsoul]

Okay. Uhm. I don't...know how to start this sort've...post. But Ashley suggested to find my...my friends and family... to make a blog like this. And to help track my...thoughts.

So uhm... Hi!!! My name's Siffrin!! Though I think you can guess that. I'm uh... 23. I go by he/they pronouns. And I...used to get messed up in time loops, and wishes, and mistakes. I'm...a fictive. In my host- Ren's- system. I don't know my role yet...but I!!! I wanna help anyway I could!

So uhm!!! Yeah! I'm here, looking for my family!!! If...if uhm, Odile, Bonnie, Mirabelle, or Isabeau...Uh! Feel free to message!!! me!!! Please?

Oh, and anyone else can ask me about... things, I guess, too!...

Putting myself out there isn't exactly...something I'm used to... But I wanna try! I want to!! Try and be better!... So I can find everyone! Even Loop.

So yeah!!! Uh!! Thanks for reading!!!

( Also! Ren's main blog aka I follow from @berrisweetsiren , and Ashley has her own blog over at @rottentarsoul ! )

[rottentarsoul]

I'm not the newbie anymore, weeee~!

[rottentarsoul]

(GROAN OF MISERY)

(Groan of despair)

[rottentarsoul]

(Groan of despair)

[rottentarsoul]

Random personal question for you guys

How do you guys grieve?...

Cori's trying to help Ren better understand their grief process, so they can figure out how to move forward from it.

While with abandonment they feel the full weight of the grief, they also move on and adapt very quickly.

However with other things like...death...or a leaving of another sort they kinda just??? Don't feel anything about it???

While their therapist agrees this is generally normal, we're trying to figure out...why exactly.

[rottentarsoul]

from one of my unfinished poems

[rottentarsoul]

my claws and teeth tear into everything I touch. Even you.

Especially you.

I'm sorry.

Even though you made me feel like nothing

Even though you made me choose between my love and my passions

Even though I tried my best to keep my teeth from biting down and hurting you

Even though you stole what was mine...

...I'm sorry.

...It wasn't your fault, Ren.

I know.

Why bother missing them? They probably aren't giving you the same courtesy. They've clearly moved on.

...I have no one else anymore.

[rottentarsoul]

[rottentarsoul]

Fuck it,, storytime

Long story short, Ren & my muffin's host (D) got dumped last month by one of their polycule mates, M.

As someone who mainly feels apathy for the body, that meant i was immediately on full time duty for the last some weeks.

It's been rough. Weirdly enough I've become a sortve comfort while i've been here??? been balancing out Ren's sortve bpd paranoia (since M didn't give a real certain reason for ending the relationship, they kept thinking it was a conspiracy theory of some shits) with my "natural slap of reality" i seem to have (their words not mine)

their therapist helps. a lot, actually. Right before M broke up with them, they had a massive falling out with some of their closest friends. So yea. Loss for dinner boys.

It's only been recently I've been able to take a break.

so

it turns out

being a weird sortve apathy comforter

is a lot more work than you'd think.

[rottentarsoul]

so

it turns out

being a weird sortve apathy comforter

is a lot more work than you'd think.

[rottentarsoul]

you BREAK leyley? you break her heart like the glass? oh! oh! Camping for Andy! Camping for Andy for One Thousand Years!!!!

[rottentarsoul]