roversystem

[roversystem]

VENTING TW

I sit here alone in my thoughts and tbh I don't know whose winning me or them, I cut 4x and I don't think their my normal ones, these ones hurt more, causing me to use my left arm less like just flinching hurts... I want to be better I JUST WANT TO BE F*CKING NORMAL.. is that so hard to ask? Like why me? Why do I have to deal with shit on my f*ucking I know I don't have to but why does it eat me when I even go to talk to someone my f*ucking partner cares so God damn much and I don't see why, I want him I can't lose him That's what I repeat all the time but lately it's He's better off, he'll do better.. I know damn well he won't because no one listens to him and no one holds him when he absolutely needs it, I am not always the best but damn I am doing better then what I used to when I dated others I left them I didn't care about them but him? No I can't leave him, I can't lose him, I love him so much I would gladly Crave his whole Name on me and tbh I have nearly done it but why can't I??

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When I am tired and over everything and all I want to do is over dose on my medication because at the point I felt Happy but now I am getting the devils lettuce on Wednesday and I'll be happier, I wish I wasn't like this so I could be a better partner, I wish I wasn't keeping so much crap from my partner, I want to tell him I really do but I can't and I don't know why, I wish I wasn't so fucked in the head, I love him and I don't want to lose him but I feel like I am going to anyway...

I am so over my family treating me like absolute shit then trying to be my "friend" because they need something from me, either love me or fucking don't make up your fucking mind, I know I am never the best person for shit but I am fucking trying, okay I am, I am pushing myself daily not to drink the way I did, I am trying now to take all my medication just to say goodbye to everyone, I am fucking trying to be my mothers best fucking child but all she fucking wants is a fucking daughter who respects her and takes all her bullshit because that's all she wants and I get that I am her child but she has never been my mother, I needed her when I was at my fucking worst and all I got back then was Your father's coming back you'll have to leave so him and I can have adult time like I am 19 I know what that means mother, I was homeless you were my last hope at that point, My partner who was just my best friend at the time saved me while you were to busy sucking fucking dick, You were never there when Casey SA'd me all you said was why'd I let him like motherfucker why would I let anyone do that to me, why would you as my mother ask something like that, I am so fucking done trying to make you happy because as you say you deserve it all you deserve is fucking tape over your mouth and hands behind your back as you watch me c*t myself to show you that I am no longer the little girl you keep calling me, I am a male adult and you need to get your head out of your ass, as for trying to break me and my partner up when we first got together that never worked wanna know why? Because we had already gone through shit with people trying to break us up, no one is ever happy with who I date and because I am happy with him you can kindly suck my big dick and fuck off you homophobic fat fucking lazy bitch I hope your next to die

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I don't know what to do anymore, I am listening to all these thoughts and trying to find out who at fault for everything that happened to me but it has always come down to it being my fault, and I wonder if it was or not, I know some wasn't but idk anymore, I think they won, I am still seeing them even when they aren't here, I feel them when I don't want to, I hear them in my ears telling me to shut up and take it, hear them saying I look like my mother that it's her fault but maybe it's mine, I cut my hair hoping I stop looking like her but it's all I see now, I hate looking in mirrors, I hate everyone who says I look like her because all they do is R4pe me and Idk why, am I not good enough as myself? Should I have just taken it like a good kid? What should I have done, I am stuck between believing it was their fault and it was my fault, I am close to breaking everything I have built just to leave

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Schedules what are those, It wouldn't matter anyway you have one set and someone has to change something, The traffic is so fucking slow my mind is going then traffic and my heart is racing faster then my dad drove, I am either about start screaming at everyone or start crying either way I have glasses on because I can feel tears sitting there, I tell them what time I have to be somewhere they said it's fine well it's not now, I am honestly about to break, I just want his phone

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I am so fucking pathetic needing my partner but can't ask for anything, I don't know if I am in a mood or if I hate myself, I just want it to stop

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As I write what I want he goes to look I tell him and he wasn't mad, he said after dinner we can have fun but normally that means something bad happens and then nothing happens, I feel like someone on repeat but idk, I miss his touch the way he used to touch me, feel me, taste me, but now I feel gross because it takes weeks for us to do anything together and sometimes that's okay but there's time where we both need and one of us isn't feeling the mood... I wish my brain wasn't wired the it is

[roversystem]

Vent

I went little to stop feeling things, but now everything is over flowing my thoughts, I want to sleep but I also don't want to, I want to starve but my partner wants me to eat... but I want nothing but I just want to feel normal I will never know what it's like to feel wanted by anyone but my partner, no ever listens to me and no one understands me like him, I want to be able to help him without my stupid fat fucking lazy body hurting, I to make him so happy because I love him a lot and now my family thinks I am cheating I have no idea what the fuck to do anymore, I can never do anything right or be enough for anyone, these thoughts of kms are becoming stronger and louder, I want someone/ adult to help me and listen, I miss someone I shouldn't be they fucking hurt me so bad and I needed so much help but now it's like a knife in my back every time I think my partner is fucking cheating on me which I know he isn't (I hope) I don't know what to do he's 16 turning 17 and I am now 19 and I don't want him to think that I don't trust him can someone who has experience in this bullshit Dm me or comment with some advice. Yes he can see this post and no I am not hiding anything from him we can't verbally talk about so we vent here read about it then talk, I am so fucking tired this stupid fucking cyclone is close and I am terrified of Storms yet, I am not sleeping or eating properly, I want my body to be normal but it will never be normal......

FUCK EVERYTHING.........

[roversystem]

I don't want to do this anymore... I am so fucking tired I need help I am never going to ask for sex again I just can't anymore I am useless and so are the fucking toys only they excite me and now nothing works at all

[roversystem]

VENTING

When all you need is to get used but hey no ones in the mood you sit there for 2 hours with a toy on and nothing, You try and try on your own but your useless because you no longer work, maybe your gross and no one wants to touch you, Maybe they don't like your body anymore, maybe losing interest....

Maybe your nothing anymore yet they all say they love you, I have been needing something for so long yet no one in the mood or too tired....

[roversystem]

i like mine clingy, obsessive, touchy, protective and possessive. be all over me or don't bother me at all

[roversystem]

wanna be your pretty little freeuse doll. want daddy to need me so much you can't help but press into me while i'm sleeping and use my vulnerable little body. wanna be held down and forced to take it through my sleepy little struggles and whimpers. tell me how good it feels, how much you missed being inside me, you just can't help yourself. daddy can't help but rape me, and i'm too helpless to stop you.

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──── ୨୧ ────

I want him between my thighs, groaning in my ear, and using me as a fleshlight. I want him, I need him, I crave him.

──── ୨୧ ────

[roversystem]

I'm in such a disgustingly horny mood right now. I want to do things to you that you'd be embarrassed to say out loud. While your friends watch.

[roversystem]

oh, to be grinding my bare pussy on daddy's thigh while he pinches my nipples and play with my tits😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠🫠🫠

[roversystem]

I need to be bent over and fucked over and over again <3

I need to be degraded and humiliated as my pussy gets pounded <3

I need to be throat fucked till I’m a sobbing mess <3

I need my needy cunt to be so overstimulated that I pass out <3

I need to be covered in cum and piss <3

Is this too much to ask for?

[roversystem]

When You want to receive but can't give so you have to stay quiet, You don't want to ruin anything and keep your partner safe but oh well, I want to be used but not a single word comes out about it, But anyway goodnight everyone

[roversystem]

Kissing you like a princess 🤝 fucking you like a whore