uhhh
brain fried. wishing above all else someone would just get some hands on me, or worse tbh. I'm hungry. I want to hunt someone, in a visceral and slightly loving way.
I'm also running off zero sleep for 24 hours and counting.
Anyway. I often think about how my life would change if I had my proper body. The horns, the tail, the wings, everything just being... right. One part of me would like that, I think. A lot of me, in truth.
The other part of me fears what would happen were I to ever become that version of myself. Fears I might lose what makes me myself, and hurt those I care for. So for now, and possibly forever, I dream of a day where I can express myself properly.
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Tell me to stop scrolling on this app and close my fucking eyes and sleep because I won’t do it unless someone asks me too very nicely or unless someone tells me off about it
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cus im no ordinary girl 💅 im from the deep blue underworld.
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St Mary's Gate, Manchester.
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You know it was a lot easier to cope with the fact that I had a dot attention span and didn't know how to relax and enjoy life when I was drowning in work and school.
Now I just sit around desperate to find ANYTHING that relieves the ache in my chest that makes it so I can't relax.
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Damn, I'm feisty today. Someone stop me. Or don't, doesn't matter to me.
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dear diary,
i went to the beach with my best friends today but i feel like there was tension and it was fine but kinda weird. i felt bad because buddys parents picked us up and grilled us for having to get us so late. i literally got home and cried cause i feel so over tired. also my brother isn’t even home so i’m just sitting alone with the tv off and crying.
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Listening to music on my phone... reaching up to fiddle with the cord to my earbuds, scratching at my neck, looking for the cord to fiddle with, getting irritated... but I can hear the music in my ears... wtf
The earbuds were wireless - send help.
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listening right now curled up crying my eyes out. why.
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On today's episode of Carbs and Self Loathing
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Coping strategies include playing out a terribly overacted movie scene where the character has a drug or drink fueled meltdown
Except I’m alone in my room chugging water and the pills I’m taking are prescription, and I really just procrastinated taking them before I got to sleep
And I’m wearing/eating a Ring Pop if you needed more detail
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