#overtired

[goetiagirlie]

uhhh brain fried. wishing above all else someone would just get some hands on me, or worse tbh. I'm hungry. I want to hunt someone, in a visceral and slightly loving way. I'm also running off zero sleep for 24 hours and counting. Anyway. I often think about how my life would change if I had my proper body. The horns, the tail, the wings, everything just being... right. One part of me would like that, I think. A lot of me, in truth. The other part of me fears what would happen were I to ever become that version of myself. Fears I might lose what makes me myself, and hurt those I care for. So for now, and possibly forever, I dream of a day where I can express myself properly.

[luciole-dans-la-nuit]

Take this simple test to find out if you're overtired:

Detroit: Become Human

Detrout: Become Fish

Did you laugh?

[brain-drippings]

Meltdown

I had a meltdown tonight while playing D&D.

Today was a really long day. I got up at 9am so I could be out the door less than an hour later so I could stop by Starbucks to grab breakfast and drive 40 minutes to teach a class at 11 am.

On the way home from teaching, two gas stations of the same company did not want to take my PayPal debit card, which was extremely frustrating.

Once I got home, after picking up some amazing lunch, I ate and got ready so we could go grocery shopping. Somehow I was more anxious about time than my hubby. He's been looking forward to finally being able to hand out candy for trick-or-treat, but I seemed to care more about the time.

Once we got home, we had around an hour to finish getting ready for trick-or-treat. Again, I seemed to be more concerned about time. I saw kids a few places down and quickly got the candy ready and outside for them. He completely missed them.

Once trick-or-treating was done, we had a little time to relax and eat dinner. Soon after that was D&D. We are now at 9:30p. Notice the lack of a nap for me at this point. The DM isn't ready yet, which is getting really frustrating. So I decide to go "Let me know when we're ready to play" and leave the voice chat. My hubby's also in the game, so he let me know when we were ready. Except we didn't start yet.

By around 11:30, we were rounds deep into an annoying battle. Things were taking forever. Side discussions were happening. I was getting really tired. And my Stimagz were in the car because they fell out of my bag on the way home. I cast a spell. Everyone goes "Are you sure?" so I go, "Fine! Different spell!" It gets countered.

It wasn't that it got countered that set me off. It was that the way the DM worded it, I wasn't sure if there was backlash on me or what. Once he explained, I muted myself again (partially because the mic was also being weird all night) and sent my hubby a chat saying that I'd be right back, I wanted to get my Stimagz from the car and I'd let them know.

I was so overwhelmed at this point that I was crying. I know part of it was how much happened today. Part of it was that I was running on less sleep than I really should have. Part of it was I know the meds had worn off. But I knew the Stimagz would help.

They did. Just finding them helped. I sat back down, got out the Stimagz, put on High Drama, and breathed. I felt so much better. Thankfully soon after the game was done for the night.

Today has not been a good day. I'm going to try to go get some rest now.

Oh, and here's the link for the Stimagz in case anyone is interested. I'm really loving them: Stimara | Magnetic Fidget Toys for Better Focus & Stress Relief

[resident-gay-bitch]

Tell me to stop scrolling on this app and close my fucking eyes and sleep because I won’t do it unless someone asks me too very nicely or unless someone tells me off about it

[doctorvenko-bye]

cus im no ordinary girl 💅 im from the deep blue underworld.

[roversystem]

VENTING

When all you need is to get used but hey no ones in the mood you sit there for 2 hours with a toy on and nothing, You try and try on your own but your useless because you no longer work, maybe your gross and no one wants to touch you, Maybe they don't like your body anymore, maybe losing interest....

Maybe your nothing anymore yet they all say they love you, I have been needing something for so long yet no one in the mood or too tired....

[forever-food-and-fandoms]

Today I was overtired at work and Make Your Own Kind of Music came on my Spotify playlist and I got an uncontrollable urge to dance. I was so ready to be like that supernatural dance in the elevator gif, but two people got on the elevator with me. But at least the lady had a really pretty red cable knit cardigan and doc marten looking boots with cool laces. So I still have not danced (other than some uncontrollable arm movements here and there), but my extremely tired brain is happy.

[intergalactic-deathray]

I’m trying my best but I just can’t

it’s not enough. it’s never enough

[nico-thenecromancer]

"I'm glad we don't have to remove teeth to brush them. It would be so much more tedious."

- me saying to my partner unprompted

[wanderingmind867]

I feel sort of tired, or like I have dry skin on one of my eyelids. It's annoying, but I'll tolerate it. I'm more just bugged by how i woke up at 6 today (after first waking up and falling back asleep at 3 am), and now I feel sort of overtired. It's not a pleasant feeling, but it's a feeling i'm somewhat used to dealing with. Still, the dry skin in the area of my left eye is annoying and confusing. I'm still just baffled that you can get dry skin in an area that small. And naturally it has to be one of the hardest areas to deal with.

[yellowballoonx]

[damagedtalking]

Wide awake wondering what sleep is and how do I get some x

-Damagedtalking

[hr-twink]

if you think about it hard enough slow horses could be MOPI

[mooooooooorgan]

losing my FUCKING MIND because im down bad for a man. ohhh my god he is so fit but i really dont think my friends will think so CRYING

[mamafaithful]

Note to self don't do research when you are an emotional wreck.

Was looking into Americas ugly laws and what kinda things we did here in the uk. Don't know what's worse.

The fact that these appalling things happened or that the 'healthy have concluded it over now just because they can no longer legally enforce or make these types of laws again.

We are still called defective and burdens. Simple-minded and idiots. Doctors still frown on us having sexual relationships and social services, still believe that we shouldn't have children and enact in ways to separate us from them.

For veterans, it's gotten worse. For wars one and two when they came back better disability laws got put in place, health care was made better, and standards enacted. Yet now they are lumped in with us defective lot.

Our segregation and the US's Ugly Laws should not have taken till the 1990s to fall apart. But I don't know if this is any better? Because where we used to have to be cared for, now we are just abandoned back in those streets they first tried to get us out of. How did their misguided kindness get so fucking twisted.

[diary-nights]

dear diary,

i went to the beach with my best friends today but i feel like there was tension and it was fine but kinda weird. i felt bad because buddys parents picked us up and grilled us for having to get us so late. i literally got home and cried cause i feel so over tired. also my brother isn’t even home so i’m just sitting alone with the tv off and crying.