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[rubyclover]

Dumb PSA:

‘Even though the Shadowvanilla tag means SM tops I don’t see that in the tags. Don’t get me wrong, I fav good content, I just can’t see SM bottoming. Sorry sorry, I’m uneducated 😂.’ - Me

But content haters, take note. If you don’t see what you want in a fandom - make it yourself! ❤️ It’s fun! Don’t just build up your frustration and take it out on the FREE ART AND WRITING the entire fandom makes. Your hate only brings us all together.

Haters constantly get run out of the Shadow Milk x Pure Vanilla tag so religiously you’d think we were on FFXIV.

Please, for the love of your own mental health, do not post how much you HATE a pairing in the pairing’s tag just to try and feel better. The only reason why I’m posting my non-complaint is for this PSA. I would never do that otherwise, but like other fans I saw truly disgusting behavior first thing in the morning and I have no more patience.

Creators will push back and you will be even more miserable with an internet fight added on top. There is no winning your selfish argument on Tumblr. The only reason why you can say such vitriolic garbage on Twitter and TicTok is because the people running those sights are scumbags. I know this personally because I live near their Cali headquarters and a number of my coworkers got hired there.

You are welcome in the Shadowvanilla tag just don’t post hatred, don’t harass creators.

This is what you can do instead:

+ Create what you want to see in the fandom no matter how bad you think your art/writing/voiceover is.

Artists explore all facets of a fandom and if you give them ideas they’ll gladly dive into the deep end. Direct messaging crap like ‘kys’ does nothing expect earn a block and a dozen reports.

+ Commission the content you want.

Ask if a writer/artist’s willing to create what you want. They don’t have to be part of the fandom already, maybe they don’t even know CRK exists? But the point is you can get what you want peacefully.

+ Block the tags you don’t like.

Still hate Shadowvanilla with the burning passion of a thousand suns? Let Tumblr’s system filter out that content as buggy as it is. This will be hard for people who truly believe the pairing glorifies abuser x victim - and that’s a whole ass argument - but it’s the only other option for you that I can think of.

We fans are not going away. A fandom never truly dies. You’ll feel better if you look at your anger and come to terms with it.

Haters, I wish you luck in feeling better and getting along with everyone. Do I believe I have changed a single one of your minds with this measly post? No. But this will live rent free in your head for a while!

Sincerely,

Ruby Clover (Cookie)

*and now I go back to sleep. no beta we die like Elder Fairy Cookie. gn.

[rubyclover]

Note: I started writing this AU the second the costumes dropped but I took too long so there’s nothing particularly new here lol You can see where my brain betrayed me in the end.

Edit: I’ve put off posting 7 different times. I’m done fiddling with this, sheesh!

Truthless Recluse Cookie gets sent to another dimension/time just before he Awakens due to the struggle over the Soul Jam with Shadow Milk Cookie. He ends up in a decrepit version of the Spire of Decite but it has TR’s motifs. He finds out that the top of this ‘tower’ has a large set of iron doors similar to a baker’s oven.

Confused at the change in scenery and in need of answers, he takes out a large pillar that kept the doors closed and finds a Witch’s Banquet in full swing. It scars him due to his unstable mind. Unlike White Lilly Cookie, his shadow doesn’t split but reflects his true emotions at random. TR resolves to keep innocent cookies away from the portal while finding a way back home.

Unfortunately, the tower already has a sordid history of adventurers trying to climb 100 floors for the One Truth (ONE PIECE!) and never returning. Que poor Truthless Recluse becoming a roaming dungeon boss, beating the sugar snot out of brats and cocky adults so they go home alive and leave shit well enough alone.

At some point, an adventurer catches sight of TR in the tower but completely misunderstands what they’re seeing. The tale spun from the sighting travels from tavern to tavern, warping as it goes. One version describes TR as a lonely, delicate creature wrapped in deep benthic blues, trapped forever, walking around silently crying, ready to crumble anyone that trespasses upon the tower in a fit of rage. Devastatingly beautiful but you won’t see that until TR is crumbling you. If you defeat TR, he’s forced to obey the victor. Or something like that.

Enter Clarified Milk Cookie (Smilk)! He’d been happy to let cookies explore the tower and come back to him with information. It’s something he can look forward to. However he can’t sit idle now that the Tower of Despair might have an owner!

TR completely captivates him on the same level as Shadow Milk Cookie’s obsession with Pure Vanilla Cookie. He purposefully teaches in a nearby village every day for a few hours in hopes he’ll lure out TR. The other male is an enigma that he wants to sink his teeth into! His very dough demands it! CR is the Fount of Knowledge after all.

And now he’s TR’s f*cking problem.

TR is exhausted from constantly kicking cookies out of the tower and has little time to research a way home and permanently seal the witch’s portal. Plus, the more heavy handed he is with adventures the more show up to fight him next time. But he can’t let anyone open those oven doors.

The knowledge of a Witch’s Banquet is like a memetic hazard. Just knowing it exists causes degradation of weaker minds, emotional swings, body integrity dysphoria and the intense desire to ‘fullfill one’s original purpose.’ Driving cookies to enter the doors. If left unchecked then it could spread and wipe out a good chunk of the cookie population.

In this case ignorance is the only way to survive. Under no circumstances is CR allowed to see the gate since he and the other Virtues are cornerstones for cookie kind. Things are going ok until CR decides to climb the tower with his friends in a bid to reach TR’s ‘tormented heart.’ The Truth is a bonus.

TR becomes frantic trying to keep the Virtues away and goes nuts in the battle at the top of the tower. His emotions become so unstable that he loses the final 1v1 against CR. He ends up crumpled on the floor, begging and gross sobbing. I’m talking wide eyes, snot, drool, tears, desperate crawling on the floor. It’s pure, ugly desperation. CR heart breaks at seeing the proud man so hurt. That isn’t what he wanted at all. The Sage tries to comfort TR while one of the Virtues opens the portal door guessing that CR will want to take TR out of the tower soon, so they might as well see the The Truth now.

BIG MISTAKE.

See, when the oven doors open it’s guaranteed to show a Witch’s Banquet happening at some point in the timeline. The Virtues and TR see cookies being created, eaten and playfully mutilated by witches. The Virtues misunderstand that the witches they’re looking at are not their creator(s). Unfortunately, one of the witches sees the oven doors open and starts to move towards Mystic Flower Cookie, mentioning how pretty she looks. They’re all frozen at this point and don’t move.

TR gets free from CM and throws himself in front of all of the Virtues, bowing and scraping like a boot licking slave, amusing all the witches who now notice the open oven doors. One witch reaches around and picks him up. They all ooo and aaa over his craftsmanship, laughing at his platitudes.

CM is paralyzed by what he sees, the memetic nature is already starting to corrupt him and his fellow Virtues.

Thankfully there were measures put in place by cookie kind’s actual witch creators. ie One of them makes their way to the banquet. But before that witch can get there the banquet witch that’s holding PV snaps off his legs, eats them and then flicks him back through the portal as a reward because he tasted good, closing the doors.

Burning Spice Cookie is the first to snap out of shock and rams the pillar back in place, locking the oven doors again. They all run out of the tower, TR in CR’s arms still mumbling and generally mind broken.

After that’s it’s just CR doing his best to put TR back together, completely misunderstanding the other cookie and his past. Basically it tuns into an AU of misunderstandings and subterfuge on TR’s part - trying to keep CR from realizing he’s from an alternate reality and catching feelings while CR believes TR is a cookie who discovered The Truth and elected to sacrifice himself so nobody else got hurt. Also, romance obviously.

———

[rubyclover]

Your art is so pretty! Is there anywhere else you post your art?

Thank you very much. Unfortunately, I don’t post my art anywhere else now. My art accounts are either deleted or no longer updated. I used to post a bit on Twitter but I’m cleaning it soon. I’m at my limit with that place’s rot. lol

[rubyclover]

Just got to salute the fact that we, the Shadowvanilla/Pureshadow Clan, all have the same shared headcanons and schizzo delusions. lmao

I have never seen a fandom just have the same takes automatically AND BE RIGHT! 😂 EVEN THE VAs HAVE JOINED US. wtf

That “pookie bear” sent me -

[rubyclover]

I keep thinking about a Shadownilla AU where Pure Vanilla Cookie is still very much a sheep herder and doesn’t get his Soul Jam until way later.

Like, Pure Vanilla doesn’t go to the Blueberry Academy in his youth because something holds him back. He lives as a shepherd but his extraordinary healing potential remains the same, it’s just used on his sheep which kind of alters them? The rest of the five heros get their soul jams on time and with similar story lines to canon, yet they know there’s supposed to be a fifth member and go to look for them.

But since PV never travels the “Sugar Free Road,” the Soul Jam’s requirements aren’t met until after he’s in adulthood. So we just get cream sheep herder PV milling about, half blind with a shepherd’s crook, taking his sheep on adventures cause they don’t want to be left behind. You can tell he’s coming a mile away because of all the bells on the sheeps’ collars.

At least he has a large mutant cream sheep that kind of looks like a long legged cake hound/wolf** to help keep him and the flock safe! Or his slightly blue neighbor that decided to tag along. Such a nice girl! Not sure what she sees in a plain serf like himself. Lady Blueberry Cream Cookie has really good eye sight tho and the sheep seem to like her. Animals are great indicators of character.

Meanwhile, Shadow Milk Cookie is foaming at the mouth because PV dodged yet another death flag by bending down to tie his shoes or something equally ridiculous (even though PV doesn’t ware shoes… It’s a nice view for SM at least hehe) He layed claim to the blind little idiot a while ago and has been fending cookies off using an illusory female form.

In the beginning it was fun watching all sorts of mishaps befall the man but now SM has fallen become possessive and turned into damage control. Being down bad for your puppet is truly frustrating but strangely rewarding. He’ll make Pure Vanilla fall into despare eventually. On top of that the cake beast he’d sent to mess with PV’s sheep ends up making friends instead!

OR

Shadow Milk is the large ‘mutant cream sheep’ and is quite unhappy with the other Ancients finding PV at his backwater village.

And Pure Vanilla eventually makes friends with Cotton Cookie.

———

** Think Ethiopian Wolf but it’s the Sheep’s Clothing Cake Hound everyone likes so much.

———

[rubyclover]

Come get some art before the update in an hour. My god I’m SO HYPED!!!! It’ll never happen but, I need ShadowMilk to get half way redeemed and then live in Pure Vanilla’s cloak.

Shadownilla mild nsfw under cut. Haters have been warned.

Smilk - mine mine mine mine mineminemineminemine

[rubyclover]

Taking out my frustration at Royal Margarine Cookie’s stupid card game on Royal Margarine. :/ Quick sketch and color or rarepair.

[rubyclover]

Today's daydream was

Adam escapes death and disguises himself as a Sinner. He fumbles his way into opening up a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that specializes in ribs. It also only serves hellborn. Why? Because Adam hates Sinners and doesn't want to attract the Hotel's attention so why would he let them in?

Problem is he's literally the only business in Pentagram City that does this. So his little restraunt gets plastered all over Sinstagram which gets Angel Dust's attention. That food doesn't look half bad while hung over damn it! And he convinces the rest of the hotel gang they need to try some.

Lucifer says he’ll get the food for his darling daughter and pops on down to Adam's Rib (our boi doesn't care how obvious that name is). The owner should be more than happy to give him free food cause he's the King. One of the only perks to the job! Unlucky for him Adam is more pissed than scared and unleashes an unholy tirade on Lucifer for disrespecting his rules! As the rant goes on Lucifer slowly turns more demonic as a threat but this Sinner couldn’t give a flying fuck.

*The Devil gets the food anyways.*

Now Adam's little hole in the wall has even MORE undesirable attention, please see the Vs. He can't catch a break at all. All he wanted was a cover story while he finds a way to contact Heaven.

The Devil is intrigued by this ratchet ass Sinner that looks and sounds familiar, so much so that it turns into an obsession. This means Adam has a harder time moving around secretly because the clown fucker keeps showing up unexpectedly. It’s only after the smaller man brutally kills Sinners trying to rob Adam’s Rib that the First Man realize he may be literally and figuratively ‘fucked.’

Adam tried to watch as the three Sinners were brutalized but his vision was too poor in the dark. The damned temporary transformation had dulled his angelic senses. But Adam could feel Lucifer’s eyes on him even though the screams continued. He was eye fucking him while taking out the trash! Creep! But a warmth was spreading in the pit of his stomach.

No Adam! Remember everything he’s done to you! Lilith! Eve! The apple! The garden! Cain! We’re not falling for this shit again…

‘It’s all right now Steve’ the devil’s hushed voice tickled Adam’s nerves in the dark. ‘Be. not. afraid.’ Long forked tongue dragged along the shell of his ear.

WAIT! OH FUCK! HIS EAR -

Sinners don’t have human ears.

Lucifer’s eyes widen and goes quiet. The first man tenses up for another fight of his life but the transfiguration spell is still in place. He has to get it off and fast. How is he going to do that with Lucifer near his neck?!

A deep purring chirp starts up against his back. Multiple detached arms slowly appear out of the dark and latch onto Adam. Some hands go to uh, interesting places. He has to bit his lip to not make a sound.

‘Ah. Found you.’

[rubyclover]

Lucifer would be very happy with that lol. It doesn't help that Adam was specifically created with God's image in mind. So. I mean. We can all read between the lines lol.

Also, Adam riding Lucifer with over stim as a 'punishment' for disobeying but he's living for it. They both are.

Cain starts foaming at the mouth when Lucifer accidentally slips from 'Adam' into 'Daddy' during a confrontation. He's not trying to call Adam that but it's happening anyways. Oops!

Hear me out. Lucifer obviously has daddy issues (for 2 reasons) and a daddy kink. You can’t change my mind. I doubt he knows the kink exists but it wakes up after seeing Adam handle some rowdy hellborn children with finesse. The King is down bad. Wants nothing more than to lay his head between those pigeon pecs while being scolded and praised. He needs to be told where he succeeded at being a dad. Tell him how to do better. It would relax him so much to finally have some solid direction… and leave him horny.

The First Man was also The First Dad so he has all the tips and tricks after raising a herd full of kids with Eve.

Naturally Adam’s sinner ability is just DAD. The dude literally has a Dad Mode he snaps into. He looks 100% human; no horns or wings etc, just straight up disgruntled, plump, human rocker dad. The kind that teaches their kids swear words at age 2 to weaponize them and will fight the bully’s parents on no evidence. ‘These hands are rated E for Everyone! My snot nosed little rug rat said so!’

Imagine Adam arguing with Alastor when suddenly, without turning away from the roadkill eating prick, he screams-

Adam: ‘ANGEL DUST YOU TAKE THAT BACK OUT RIGHT NOW!!!’

*Angel Dust taking his bag full of drugs back out from the toilet’s water tank 2 floors up:* Holy shit how does he know?! I wasn’t doin’ nothin’!

*Adam now looking directly up at Angel Dust:* I have eyes everywhere (he does not) and can smell the disappointment from here (he can not). Fucking trash that shit or give it to the plants. I don't care which one but you're doing it NOW or so help me GOD I'll do it FOR you!

Half pint is just sitting on the couch trying not to pop a boner because his imagination is running wild. And it’s not even the vanilla daddy kink. It’s more like DILF kink mixed with daddy kink. It’s Adam’s surprising competency in an area that Lucifer struggles that gets him. He’s not looking to call Adam Daddy or anything.

How can Adam be such a cool Pa without flashy techniques? Able to pull trivia for getting food stains out of difficult fabric with random ingredients from the wild, how to tell when your kid has a crush years before they realize, know when to comfort teenagers and when to let them come to you, how to catch your kid in a lie? Magical!

Things like that.

Ok so yeah he wants to be called a good boy for trying to parent when everyone tells him he’s shit. Is that so much to ask? But Lucifer has competition from several powerful people in Hell because hello? The original DILF is in Hell now and he looks human. Nobody else looks close to that and rarity is scarcity in a depraved marketplace like Hell.

The problem is Dad Mode isn't a defensive or offensive ability. DM functions like the old fairytales surrounding parents supposedly having supernatural abilities. So Adam will just know things, appear suddenly when you're plotting mischief, vaguely see from the back of his head, cook food with mild physical and emotional healing properties and such. DM is funny but ultimately anyone can gank him.

So obviously the Big Bad King of Hell will have to watch over Adam so that no funny business happens. The new Sinner is practically defenseless. Exactly how Lucifer likes him because it's like Eden again. So Adam is living in The King's end of the wing, in his tower, and is rarely out of his sight.

Just low key daddy/dilf kink for Lucifer and Adam doing it for him.

[Note: Cain still killed Able but the majority of Adam and Eve’s time on Earth wasn’t as horrific as it could have been. The husband and wife mostly dealt with illnesses, ugly human emotions, sabotage, the wildlife and famine. Sin got worse after Adam's kids died because the angels stopped closely working with humanity. So while there is pain between Lucifer and Adam this version got lucky.]

[rubyclover]

Hear me out. Lucifer obviously has daddy issues (for 2 reasons) and a daddy kink. You can’t change my mind. I doubt he knows the kink exists but it wakes up after seeing Adam handle some rowdy hellborn children with finesse. The King is down bad. Wants nothing more than to lay his head between those pigeon pecs while being scolded and praised. He needs to be told where he succeeded at being a dad. Tell him how to do better. It would relax him so much to finally have some solid direction… and leave him horny.

The First Man was also The First Dad so he has all the tips and tricks after raising a herd full of kids with Eve.

Naturally Adam’s sinner ability is just DAD. The dude literally has a Dad Mode he snaps into. He looks 100% human; no horns or wings etc, just straight up disgruntled, plump, human rocker dad. The kind that teaches their kids swear words at age 2 to weaponize them and will fight the bully’s parents on no evidence. ‘These hands are rated E for Everyone! My snot nosed little rug rat said so!’

Imagine Adam arguing with Alastor when suddenly, without turning away from the roadkill eating prick, he screams-

Adam: ‘ANGEL DUST YOU TAKE THAT BACK OUT RIGHT NOW!!!’

*Angel Dust taking his bag full of drugs back out from the toilet’s water tank 2 floors up:* Holy shit how does he know?! I wasn’t doin’ nothin’!

*Adam now looking directly up at Angel Dust:* I have eyes everywhere (he does not) and can smell the disappointment from here (he can not). Fucking trash that shit or give it to the plants. I don't care which one but you're doing it NOW or so help me GOD I'll do it FOR you!

Half pint is just sitting on the couch trying not to pop a boner because his imagination is running wild. And it’s not even the vanilla daddy kink. It’s more like DILF kink mixed with daddy kink. It’s Adam’s surprising competency in an area that Lucifer struggles that gets him. He’s not looking to call Adam Daddy or anything.

How can Adam be such a cool Pa without flashy techniques? Able to pull trivia for getting food stains out of difficult fabric with random ingredients from the wild, how to tell when your kid has a crush years before they realize, know when to comfort teenagers and when to let them come to you, how to catch your kid in a lie? Magical!

Things like that.

Ok so yeah he wants to be called a good boy for trying to parent when everyone tells him he’s shit. Is that so much to ask? But Lucifer has competition from several powerful people in Hell because hello? The original DILF is in Hell now and he looks human. Nobody else looks close to that and rarity is scarcity in a depraved marketplace like Hell.

The problem is Dad Mode isn't a defensive or offensive ability. DM functions like the old fairytales surrounding parents supposedly having supernatural abilities. So Adam will just know things, appear suddenly when you're plotting mischief, vaguely see from the back of his head, cook food with mild physical and emotional healing properties and such. DM is funny but ultimately anyone can gank him.

So obviously the Big Bad King of Hell will have to watch over Adam so that no funny business happens. The new Sinner is practically defenseless. Exactly how Lucifer likes him because it's like Eden again. So Adam is living in The King's end of the wing, in his tower, and is rarely out of his sight.

Just low key daddy/dilf kink for Lucifer and Adam doing it for him.

[Note: Cain still killed Able but the majority of Adam and Eve’s time on Earth wasn’t as horrific as it could have been. The husband and wife mostly dealt with illnesses, ugly human emotions, sabotage, the wildlife and famine. Sin got worse after Adam's kids died because the angels stopped closely working with humanity. So while there is pain between Lucifer and Adam this version got lucky.]

[rubyclover]

I’m imagining the eventual confrontation between Able and Adam over his lack of support but Adam can’t say anything due to losing ownership of his soul.

Lucifer gains ground at being Able’s ‘best dad’ and loves watching Adam lose his shit but then the other fallen angel goes apathetic the next day due to Eve yanking his soul chain.

Now Abel’s hurt more than before, the Hotel is confused and Lucifer is that one meme of Cardi B going ‘THAT’S SUSPICIOUS….. THAT’S WEIRD….’

He’s on his way to figuring it out. Your days are numbered Eve. Haha.

Thinking of an au where Lucifer is still the king of hell but in this world Adam was a mere sinner and not the ‘first man’ but the first ‘willingly fallen angel’. People will say wouldn’t that be untrue bc Lucifer yada yada,, but nah, Lucifer didn’t expect to fall, so willingly he didn’t, at least not in this au ~ so anyways…

Adam was never created as a human, he was an angel and had been friends with Lucifer before his fall. They were both seraphim! Though Adam was made a few ranks below Lucifer, God created him as the embodiment of perfection and beauty ~ so all angels admired him for how he looked and was praised by the creator, even Lucifer.

Lucifer at the time never considered Adam as something more than a brother just like all of the other angels they just saw each other like that? The knowledge of romance was an oddity or some type of supernatural feeling no one experienced at the time but God would mention about when it came in describing the first humans.

And they weren’t entirely close either. They were just connected being very pampered and favored by God.

Fast forward to Lucifer already being casted to hell and married to Lilith. They eventually heard of a fallen angel landed in hell (by a deadly sin, I would like to say it was Satan who informed Lucifer of this bc yk that’s a freaking fallen angel). So Lucifer was shocked of this revelation. After all, it’s been like a century since Lucifer and Lilith gathered angels to go against heaven and then be casted to live in hell for the rest of eternity.

When Lucifer tracked the angel down, it took a while until his eyes landed on Adam. Yup. The Seraphim Adam he once knew as the living perfection of God’s hands turned as a sinner.

Once Lucifer helps Adam, picking his unconscious body and taking him to his castle to get heal. Adam wakes up and was greeted with a bomb of questions by both king and queen of hell of why the hell was he here. In this case Adam refuses to tell them why he fell and flees to never be seen.

Leaving Lucifer and Lilith speechless because why, when, how???

Years pases by and the whole incident is long forgotten, just like Lucifer’s marriage.

So everything is basically the same except Lucifer is more of a king than being shut in his castle depressed. I feel having the influence of Adam back in heaven kinda toughened him up a bit bc he shared a lot of things in common and well, God’s love. So there was some sorts of jealousy involved just like competition. Also having Lucifer near by kinda just softened Adam a ton which made it easier for him to be too vulnerable in hell.

Lucifer is much more colder though. He doesn’t have Charlie in this Au but Adam sorta does? He has Abel who has a similar personality and ambitions. His dream is redemption and thats why nothing much changes aside from that. But without Charlie Lucifer just doesn’t have anyone, and like they say, nothing is more scarier than someone who has nothing to lose.

Adam has a strained relationship with his son because he’s so blinded by Abel’s mother who’s very abusive and who Abel distanced himself from (unaware Adam is actually trapped in her chains/ she owns his soul), so they rarely ever talk or see each other but Adam loves his son more than anything.

Abel isn’t Adam’s only son he has 15 biological children! And 56 adoptive ones (exorcists that in this au are hellborn orphans/ who aren’t necessarily currently living in his area or home but are his nonetheless) Vaggie, Lute, and more. Adam is an overlord! The most powerful in wrath and was allowed to leave pride by a deal he made with Lilith thousands of year before she kinda bailed on hell.

He and Lucifer did cross paths throughout that time which made the whole falling incident more easier to forget considering Lucifer was no longer interested in wanting to know why Adam fell and just respected his privacy. The deal he made with Lilith needed to be reinforced from Lucifer’s power so it was necessary for the king of hell to be involved and grant Adam’s wish to leave pride and join wrath instead (he’s still a pride citizen he just isn’t forced to be there like the rest of the sinners/ is basically the only one allowed to have left his ring).

But getting to the plot. So Lucifer starts getting a bunch of complaints of Abel’s hotel and all the trouble he’s making with heaven. And the angel aka Sera haven’t stopped pestering his ass about it so he goes and seeks for this ‘Abel guy’ he has no idea who’s about (or who’s daddy did this one belonged to) and surprise surprise Lucifer becomes Abel’s Alastor ~ he joins in the hotel (with all the intention on screwing it over) being a sponsor, and ofc to this Abel’s all enthusiastic having the actual king of hell ‘on his side’ giving him ‘support’ of his dreams yk

And you can imagine the rest aksbwksheks Loving the idea of Hell greatest dad being Lucifer taunting Adam for being a better dad than him and Adam feeling challenged (bc he kinda is)

[rubyclover]

AFK but gotta say, Cannon Lucifer vs Fannon Lucifer. The fan version that finally has Adam after earning forgiveness (took 13 years of major making up to his new boyfriend).

F!Lucifer just finding out C!Lucifer let his universe’s Adam die and takes that personally. The fight would probably shake Earth. Heaven is sweating bullets and doesn’t want any smoke.

F!Adam is trying to stop them but he just looks like a big dumb dog trying to separate a cat fight. (Chihuahuas?) Nifty is already perma dead in the background. Poor Charlie is having a heart attack because both are full demon and the look on her dad’s dopple is beyond wrathful.

F!Lucifer: Damn it all! If I had been here sooner I could have taken him with me!

F!Adam: Would you stop trying to collect me from every universe we trip into?!

C!Lucifer: How many Adams do you have?!

F!Lucifer *paused punching him in the face*: Rocker, Sinner, Human, Garden, Grumpy, Hellhound adopter, Good Dad, Sinless, Wingless, Ada, Eve is Adam, Eden-

C!Lucifer: EDEN?! You son of a bi-

[rubyclover]

A lot happened the last week over the FamilyFeud/FamilyTree AU. Not in order but -

1. Spilled miso on my keyboard and took it out.

2. Had to clean friend’s old keyboard (I have a video. It’s nasty but I got the board for free.)

3. Lost saved work on Tumblr!

4. Lost saved work on Notes!

5. Story to saj it is feeing my depression so had to dial it back.

I’ve only had my phone and it’s hard to type on so… yeah. Things are fixed now. Hopefully I can remember the content I lost and that Tumblr doesn’t eat it. How did I get unlucky?

I wanted to participate in the Adamsapple/kink week but idk if I have time now??? I had wanted to step outside my comfort zone.

[rubyclover]

[The FamilyFeud/FamilyTree AU is overwhelming me so I just gotta put something adamsapple friendly out there.]

Kung Fu Hustle x Adamsapple. The Hotel has taken a break on trying to get sinners into Heaven. They research to make sure there will be no repercussions. Lucifer has fulfilled 3/6 requirements Adam has set for him to forgive the Short King. The Vs don't give a shit.

I just need Adam to do a Lions Roar while in hair curlers, night gown and sucking on a fat cigarette. Blocking a confused (but appreciating the sight) Lucifer who was just about to finish throwing hands. The gown was a joke from a tiff earlier but now he doesn't know if he should cry or thank himself. Struggles to keep his hands down.

Adam getting pulled back inside by Charlie or Angel or Vaggie (one each time) every time he sticks his head out screaming about the noise Alaster vs Vox + Velveteen fight is making in the front of the hotel. Lucifer didn't care about the fight until Adam started complaining.

I need the car scene with Valentino in the back!!! Just screaming at everyone once the Hotel has won "can't you see you're disturbing everyone! Some people have jobs tomorrow!" in a bid to keep Adam and Lucifer from ripping his head off his shoulders. Giving Adam one of his best cigarettes but watching Lucifer crush it cause it's got his disgusting pink substance in it.

Alaster seething in the background because the Vs are giving Adam more attention and the downed angel's threat level just went up.

I NEED THIS! PLEASE!

[rubyclover]

How is Adam in the time of the broadcast, anyway, since he got stabbed with angelic steel and presumably lose a lot of blood, being an angel in Hell probably wouldn't help the matter

Adam is pretty beat up and is basically on life support so he isn't aware of the broadcast. His body is currently trying to keep itself from Hell's natural corruption without the normal ability to do so. Stress has caused him to grow gaunt. At least Cain managed to save the parts of Adam the Cannibal Colony carved up for transit.

The First Man has lost a lof of blood which means transfusions are a life or death matter. Only problem is he's still a holy angel. Demon or Sinner blood will kill him. There is a temporary fix to keep Adam live. It's not Cain. :D

[rubyclover]

where is Abel?

Don't worry, he's here! :D Soon.

[rubyclover]

How are things in Heaven in this au, with the Exermination now public knowledge

It's not public knowledge yet in this AU. I didn't know it was officially exposed to all of Heaven in cannon but let's ignore my ignorance lol.

My AU's Heaven has a way of smoothing things over which helps keep the few informed souls and angels in line. Normally these techniques help new souls who have traumatic deaths keep calm. Please note that this info will probably never come up again.

Angelic sent: just like how Hell has an intrinsic smell so does Heaven but it comes from Angels. The smell calms down any negative emotions but can't get rid of them. In this case panic over the Exterminations is kept low and nobody feels the need to spread the information. This sent has to be purposefully shut off but doing so is uncomfortable so Heaven is filled with the stuff. It smells like comfort.

2. Decontamination Area: A soft place where souls are ferried off after going through the gates if they show any signs of stress. This is also a second area were souls can be reunited with loved ones. An evaluation takes place around the time Peter calls a soul's name.

I'd like to point out that St. Peter's job is basically useless so I gave it a point. He does not do a song and dance every time someone comes in as much as I wish he did. He'd have such a backlog of souls and no time for a lunch break. Everybody who shows up at the gates are meant for Heaven so why is he checking his giga logbook? Everyone destined for Hell just gets thrown down there automatically. Oof.

Hopefully nobody is mad at that. ilu Peter. You're such a cute character but you need more screen time for me to do anything with you that's not... well... ya know.