runwithwolvcs

[runwithwolvcs]

I cant find chapter 2 of "addicted to you" whats it called?? Also, Totally love your works!

I’ve pinned it for you!

[runwithwolvcs]

I want to write again but I don’t know which story to work on 😭 why did 2022 me do this to future me

[runwithwolvcs]

Where is the rest of right where you left me? ):

[runwithwolvcs]

the right people will fight for you

[runwithwolvcs]

[runwithwolvcs]

[runwithwolvcs]

[runwithwolvcs]

[runwithwolvcs]

I added alphabetical dividers to my vintage Modern Library shelf

[runwithwolvcs]

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - Forty Seven

Snow On The Beach

T/W: Drug/being drugged

The beach in the winter is Tallulah's solace. All the crowds that you fight during the summer, the expensive parking and lack of spaces, the burden of trying to have that perfect beach body… they just aren't issues during the winter. Tallulah had been the only person at the beach, allowing her to paint the landscape with only the waves crashing to shore as a white noise. 

She had spent a better part of her day there, taking in the serene environment that she could not replace in New York. Although it was peaceful and she was able to get a few paintings started, the tall figure walking towards her on the path up to the parking lot caused an unmistakable feeling of longing to fill her chest as it constricted. Paul.

Tallulah wasn't surprised he had sniffed out her location, she knew it was going to happen eventually.

He looked bigger than she remembered, more built as if he spent every waking moment in the gym. Though tallulah knew he didn't need to step foot in a gym to have the muscles he did. How does a wolf build more muscle?

“Lu,” Paul spoke lowly. It sent a shiver down her spine to hear his voice. It had been six weeks since she had heard his voice last. Six weeks since she had broken up with him over the phone. Tallulah had tried to see his side of the situation that had caused the breakdown of their relationship, but Paul had made it incredibly hard for her. Not to mention what Lenna had told her.

Talullah was done with him, as she said she would be if he ever betrayed her trust. The only stopping her from making his life a living hell was the imprint bond. It would affect her too.

“What do you want?” She asked, venom lacing each word. Tallulah adjusted the tote bag on her shoulder as she looked him over. He looked the exact same. Black hoodie, beige cargo shorts and his muddy running shoes. The only thing that was different was his hair. He had a Seattle Mariners cap on,  but even though she could see messy waves flowing out from him. Like he hadn’t cut it since she left, which was uncommon for him. Paul had told her he likes to keep it neat, and easy to manage. This was not neat, nor managed.

Paul huffed out a sigh before jamming his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”

“Nope,” She agreed with him, smiling sweetly as she mentioned, “I’m going to make your life a living hell.”

His lips quirked upwards before falling back into his stern look, “If this is some kind of big city, college, rebellion phase that I’m not aware of--”

“Fuck you,” Tallulah scoffed. Was he really going to blame her behaviour towards him on her going away for school?

“What?” He asked, removing his cap to run his hand through his hair. She knew that was something he only did when he was stressed.  Paul adjusted his cap as he continued, which she would have preferred had he just stopped talking, “You moved to New York and suddenly I’m the worst person you’ve ever met. I don't think that's a coincidence.” 

Tallulah wanted to laugh in his face. If New York had taught her anything, it was that she didnt need him as much as he wanted her to. She was independent there, she got herself into trouble, and got herself out of it. She also happened to meet Nell, her roommate who was also from Washington. Nell’s boyfriend went to Boston College so she knew exactly what she was going through in terms of navigating a long distant relationship. Nell was not a big fan of Paul, given his lack of initiative while Tallulah had been away.

The younger girl took a step towards Paul, closing the gap between them. She was so close she could feel the abnormally hot temperature of his skin radiating off him. Tallulah reached out and placed both of her palms on his biceps, squeezing reassuringly. She peered up at him as his breath hitched in his throat at her touch,“You're not the worst person I’ve ever met,” Tallulah licked her lips as she slid her hands down his arms, and when he didn’t pull his hands from his pockets, she let go. Taking a step back, she put her hands on hips, “Top three for sure, but not the worst.”

“Really?” He asked sarcastically, tilting his head to the side like a puppy who was confused. Though she could tell his confusion was real. “How’d I earn a spot in the top three?”

“Oh my god, you don’t know, I know.” Her eyes widened in disbelief. Had nobody told him? She was sure Lenna would have told Josie and those too would have wreaked havoc on him. Tallulah knew a few bonfires had happened while she was gone and the forced proximity would have been a wet dream for Lennas knack of confronting people who had done her wrong. Lenna considered his betrayal a personal attack on their family.

Paul huffed in annoyance, “Know what?”

“I have to go,” She adjusted her bag to pull out her car keys before stepping around him, “Lenna and I have a dinner reservation.”

“Lu,” Paul grabbed her upper arm gently, the heat of his palm on her bare skin nearly made her cave. She had been so cold without him in New York, like she had left all her body heat with him. Since returning to Forks, and subsequently La Push, she had felt a little better but nothing like she had when she was constantly with him. “Come on. What do I have to do to make you forgive me? Hm?”

“Nothing,” She spat out, wrenching his hand from her arm, “Will ever make me forgive you,” She turned to leave before whipping around again, pointing her finger into her solid chest,  “And if it weren’t for this stupid imprint bond, I’d really ruin your life.”

“Just tell me what I did,” Paul begged. Tallulah could see the desperation in his eyes. She wouldn’t fall for it though. He wanted her to tell him what she was mad about, so that he knew exactly how to grovel. He should be apologising for multiple things in her opinion.

“You’re such a jerk,” She said with the roll of her eyes.

“I love you, Tallulah.” Paul grabbed her hand this time, tugging her hard so that her body was touching his. He knew exactly how to keep her attention and overwhelm her senses. Her heart fluttered at their proximity, and she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and never let go. But she refused to forgive him until she got an apology, and a whole lot of ass kissing from  him.  “You know that everything I do is to keep you safe and happy.”

“Only when I’m in La Push or Forks,” She snorted, sarcastically asking,  “New York is too much work for you, huh?”

“Is this about Lina?” Paul furrowed his brow as he looked down at her. He brought one of his hands to the back of her neck beneath her braid, forcing her to look at him, “What did you want me to do?”   

This was not about her best friend Lina, but if that's what he wanted to start with then sure, she was ready to fight about that. She had been wanting to since the day it happened but he had gone radio silent. “If anything had happened to Jared I would have flown home that same damn day!” Tallulah said angrily,  “You couldn't even spare two minutes on the phone when Lina was…”

Paul shook his head, “She was okay,” 

“It was my drink, Paul.” Tallulah's voice trembled at the memory. They had gone out to celebrate Lina booking a role in the Christmas Ballet, The NutCracker production that she had wanted since she was a little girl, but their night was cut short. Tallulah had ordered a regular cranberry juice, keeping her promise to Paul to not use a fake ID. Lina had ordered a rum and pineapple juice to try but hated the taste so she washed it down with Tallulah's drink. They ended up spending the night in the ER after Lina started to get the spins. Someone had drugged Tallulah's drink. “It would have been me, it should have been me…”

“I would have been there if it was---” Paul started but she didn't want to hear it.

“That's not good enough,” She pushed away from him, pushing against his chest to make sure he didn’t take a step forward. “You were unreachable that entire fucking week.” 

Paul's eyes flashed with something she couldn't point. It wasn't anger. Frustration, maybe. A small growl left his throat as he reached for her again, only for her to step back, “Hey,”

“But you had time for Rachel, didnt you?” Tallulah spat out, she was teetering on the edge of losing her cool,   “I was having nightmares and worrying who slipped a date rape drug into my drink all week, and you were cozying up to your ex girlfriend.” She wanted to shout at him, to scream so that everyone in La Push could hear what she was saying and know that whatever they thought about Paul Lahote, was in fact true. He was a cheater, and a liar. “That's not the guy I fell in love with.” She couldn’t stop the sadness in her voice if she had tried. Tallulah straightened her posture and turned on her heel to head for the car park,  “ I don’t forgive you. I don't know if I ever will.”

[runwithwolvcs]

Addicted To You

Play With Me

Words: 2500

The Past

“Sulli?” He called for her, sitting on her bed to wait for her to come out of her hiding spot,   “Guess I’ll have to eat these cookies by myself,”

She stuck her hand out from under the bed, he quickly grabbed it and slid her out. “No! Paul, stop!”

“No more hiding under the bed.” He told her. The older boy helped her up to her feet before handing her a cookie.

“I like it there.” She said, “It's safe.”

“You are safe with me too,” He reminded her, before motioning her onto the bed, “C’mon”

“Leah and Sam were arguing again,” She told him quietly, leaning into him. Sulli had found his feverish skin to be something of a comfort in her time at the Clearwaters, and always sought it out, even in the other boys when they were around. None of them made her feel as safe as Paul, although Embry was a close second. She liked how quiet he was compared to the others.

Paul sighed,“I heard,” 

“When my mom used to get mad at my daddy, she would throw things at him and one time, i tried to help my daddy and got cut by the glass and now I have this scar,” She pointed to the faded scar just below her eyebrow. “He was so mad after he made me go to the bathroom and told me to hide in the tub until he came to get me,”

“No ones going to hurt you here.” Paul told her softly, matting down her hair that had gone all messy due to her hiding under the bed,  “We’re family, we all love each other,”

 She tore a piece off her giant cookie as she told him, “My mom said love hurts and you just have to deal with the pain.”

“That's not true, Sulli.” He scoffed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, “The people that love you will never hurt you.”

“But she loves me,” She insisted, although Paul had never questioned her mothers love for her. Sulli still felt the need to defend her.

“Love is about happiness.” Paul said quietly,  “You do things to see the person you love smile and that makes you happy, you don’t want to see them in pain, or hurt.”

“Oh,” She asked curiously, “Are you in love?”

He chuckled at her innocent question and nodded his head, “Yes,” 

“You have a girlfriend?” She asked, though she frowned as she said it.

“I don’t.” He denied with a small chuckle at her reaction. Sue had joked that Sulli had a small crush on Paul, to which the little girl denied. She said she couldn’t possibly have a crush on him because he never wore shoes outside and was constantly covered in dirt. 

“So how are you in love?” Sulli asked with her typically wide eyes of curiosity. 

“You don’t need to be in a relationship to be in love.” He explained, adding, “I love a lot of people. I love my dad, I love the pack, I love you, Sue, and Emily. That's why I protect everyone, because I love them. I don’t want to see the people I love hurt or sad.”

“I don’t know,” She shared with uncertainty,  “My mom and dad do love each other, and they love me.” 

“Okay, Sulli.” He wasn't going to argue with her, Paul was constantly reminding himself that he was talking to a kid who couldn’t see things as anything other than black and white.. She would know when she's older what real love feels like. He would make sure of it. Paul stood up with a small sigh and took two long strides towards the door.

“Where are you going?”Sulli asked, her lip jutting out slightly, making her seem like the kid she was rather than her normal stern look she wore. She was a mini Sue in the making.

“I’m going to have a nap,” He told her. Paul had taken residency in the guest room across from Sullis. While he had been there the week leading up to her arrival, it was starting to be a more permanent fixture in the Clearwater house. “I’ve got work later,”

Sulli frowned. She thought he’d at least be home for dinner, but recently he was gone all morning and all night. With a distinct tone of disappointment, she asked, “Again?” 

“Yeah,” He nodded, frowning to match her own. 

“You can sleep in here,” She offered with a sense of hope. Sulli didn’t want to be left alone anymore, not after Paul's reassurance that Sam and Leahs argument wouldn’t lead to anything more serious.  “I even have a new book to read to you so that you can sleep well.”

“You sure?” He asked with his hand lingering on the doorknob as he watched her grab a new book she and Sue must have got at the library. It was more of a novel than the little books she had been reading before, though everyone in the Clearwater knew she had a more advanced reading level than any eleven years old they knew.

“Yeah,” Sulli confirmed before climbing back on her bed, leaving space for him beside her before she was patting the spot as an invitation.  “C’mon, now.”

------

The Present

“Are you just going to stand there?” He grumbled through the dark. His head didn’t even lift to see who had opened the door, allowing the hall light to shine into his dark room. “Or, are you going to join me?”

A smile teased at Sullis lips. The sound of his deep, sleepy voice made butterflies erupt in tummy. She had many sleepovers with men after getting a little too drunk, but none ended up with her waking up alone in a bed that was not her own. She was dressed in Paul clothes, the scent of his cologne lingering and slightly wondered how much of a fight she had put up with him while trying to get her out of her tight, little dress, “Not with that attitude.”

“C’mon,” Paul groaned, turning onto his back and slinging an arm over his eyes after peering over at her. The light is most likely burning them.

Sulli shut the door to the hallway and padded her way over to him. The older man held up the duvet, allowing her to join him under the warmth. Paul's house was as cold as Sues was, and with the temperatures quickly dropping as winter approached, she was thankful he had put her in sweatpants and a hoodie.

Paul gave her space in his bed, nearly a forearm's length apart. It was space that she didn’t want. All she wanted were his comforting arms.

“I’m overwhelmed,” She whispered into the darkness as she laid on her side, looking at his silhouette. 

Paul moved onto his side, facing her before responding, “Why?”

“If I let you get close and then you disappear again,” Sulli stopped, tears filling her eyes as she choked up, “I can’t go through that again. Not with you.”

“That's what you're worried about?” He chuckled, as if it were the most dramatic thing he had ever heard. 

“God, you are such a jerk,” she sat up, disgruntled and the start of a headache starting to build left her with zero patience for a man who couldn’t handle her emotions.He had been so good with her when she was younger, always sitting with her and letting her talk to him like a friend. Now, she really had no clue who Paul Lahote was. Sulli moved to get off the bed before she was pulled right into his chest, their faces mere inches apart. She could feel his chest rise with every breath he took, as if his own actions caught him off guard.

“I’m not going anywhere, Sulli,” He murmured quietly.

Though the younger girl was no longer having his charming ways, she wanted him to be real with her. Just once. Shifting onto her back, allowing him to keep his grip on her waist, she brought up something that had nagged her from childhood,  “Paul, you could find a wife and start a family and forget all about me within a year.”

“Not going to happen.” He refuted, his hand left her waist and  began to travel up her arm, leaving her skin tinged with heat as he did.

“Your wife could hate me.” She pointed out. 

“Not likely.” He denied, his hand brushing over her shoulder before moving up her neck. His index finger tracing her jawline.

“Paul,” Sulli sighed, looking back to him

“Sulli,” He mocked, cupping her jaw and keeping her gaze on him,“What if I told you that you were the only girl for me,”

She laughed at the ridiculousness of his suggestion,“I’d say you're full of shit and trying to get back on my good side.”

“You’re my imprint.” He said, an emotion she couldn’t detect in his tone. Though the word was familiar from the night before, he had yet to tell her it's meaning. Or at least, she doesn't remember the conversation happening, if it did.

“I still don’t know what that means,” She spoke quietly, bringing her own hand to his face, tangling their limbs. She swiped her index finger across the bow of his lips, mesmerised by him. She wanted him, all of him, in an explainable way. Though she figured this was what he was trying to tell her. An imprint, a mark made by someone that had the potential to be long lasting, depending on the surface.

“It's a wolf thing,” Paul answered, his eyes searching her face for a reaction as he continued. He seemed uneasy. As if he could possibly scare her off. Sulli was the most at ease she had felt in years, maybe it was the comfy mattress she was currently on, or the clothes of the man in front of her that engulfed her body. Most likely, it was the heat of the man who had once saved her from her own mind, allowing her to be a kid in a situation that should have never involved one, “Our imprint is our anchor, I guess. A reason to keep hold of our humanity, but also a reason to continue phasing. Someone to protect, and love. ”

“Like a mate?” She asked, she had read about wolves having one mate for their life span. Building and growing with the pack, but never leaving their one true mate, even if one were to die. 

“I guess, yeah.” Paul agreed, mentioning, “It has to do with our ancestors, or at least that's what the elders say. They think imprints are beneficial to their wolf. We are whatever our imprints need us to be for them, a brother, friend, lover..Our imprint is the force that keeps us grounded, it's like we no longer need gravity. Just them. ” 

“But I was a kid.” Sulli brought up her sole focus on his use of the word lover. 

“I know,” He reassured, stroking her cheek as he thread his knee in between hers, binding them even more. “Until you kissed me, I never saw you as anything but a little sister to me.”

Sulli nodded. Her mind worked overtime to keep up with what he was saying, to make sense of it all. Looking at him with bashful eyes, she couldn’t help but ask,“You’re not going anywhere?”

“Not unless you tell me to go.” Paul's face softened, a look he had rarely on his face now, but was in a constant state when she was a kid. 

“And if I do?” She asked curiously. Not that she would ask him to leave, she had plenty of reasons and opportunities over the past month, and yet she felt herself being drawn to him like a magnet even more. The imprint, she supposed.

Paul's brows furrowed as he thought about what she asked, “I don’t know..That's never happened.”

She sighed, “I don't want to hurt you, Paul.”

“Hurt me how?” His eyebrow raised in question. 

“What if I'm not what you're expecting.” Sulli asked surly. She was a lot of things, but damaged was written in bold and underlined twice in her book. 

“I spent ten years feeling every bit of pain you were in,” The older man pointed out, “I thought you were stuck in one shitty home, not multiple. I know what I’m expecting, and I’m okay with giving you anything that you need. Do you need a punching bag? Hit me. You need to scream? Go for it. You want space? I’ll give you it.” His tone was as serious as she had heard it, letting her know that he was all in to reclaim his spot as top wolf in her life. “I just need you to tell me what you want. I can’t read your mind.”

“My coping method is sex,” She noted. It had been since she was fifteen. It allowed her to escape for as long as she could, masking the pain through pleasure and faux affection.

Paul grinned boyishly,“Great, I love sex.” 

“Paul!” She giggled, “My therapist doesn’t think it's great. She thinks I’m an addict.”

“Partially my fault.” He added, and she looked at him in confusion.

“Hm?”

“We are tethered, we feel everything the other feels.” He explained, moving his hand back to her hip to give it a quick squeeze before slipping his hand beneath her sweatpants and caressing one smooth globe a flesh,  “So, if I was hooking up with some girl, you’d probably get horny too.”

“And we both know you were a horndog.” Sulli teased, “Mr. I Don’t Have A Girlfriend.”

“I didn’t have a girlfriend,” He murmured, leaning his forehead against hers. He was so close she could feel his breath against her lips. So close she could kiss him.

“Mhm,” Sulli tsked, “I know a player when I see one,”

Brushing his lips against hers quickly, and teasingly, Paul mumbled as he pressed his pelvis into hers. His hormones on full display like a teenage boy in bed with a girl for the first time,“Hmm, I only want to play with you though,”

She breathily moaned at his touch, “I’ll play with you.”

[runwithwolvcs]

Addicted To You

The Princess and The Wolf

wordcount: 1248

"well, well, well, look who it is." Sulli teased as she tapped Paul on the shoulder. She shouldn’t be surprised, she had spotted Jared first, then knew he couldn’t have been too far. The really do travel like a pack. Though she was disappointed she never received a text he was back in town.

“Sulli, what are you doing here?" A genuine confusion crossed his features.

"having fun," Sulli said vibrantly, putting her hand on his chest as she asked,  "want to have fun with me?"

"you’re drunk," Paul mused, watching as she apologized to a girl who had bumped into her.

"barely," She brooded. She wished she was blacked out on the dance floor, but the moody wolf caught her eye. Standing on her toes she whispered in his ear,  "missed you,"

"thats how i know you are drunk," He chuckled, “let me get you a taxi,"

She frowned, not understanding why he was acting the way he was. She did miss him. All the time, it felt like she was missing something and when she was with him, that feeling disappeared. Sulli figured out in Seattle that it was him.

"whats wrong?" The older man asked, sliding his arm around her waist to pull her closer as other people moved past them.

“Why are you so mean all the time?" She asked, her lip jutting out like a little kid. 

Pauls eyebrows furrowed at her question, “I didn’t do anything,"

“Nows not the time, Paul," A man she vaguely remembered said from behind him

“Back off," Paul snapped at the familiar man before turning back to her. He cupped her cheek, regaining her focus solely on him, “Hm?"

He didn’t get it.  Of course he didn’t. Sulli couldn’t help but sneer as she spoke, “I cant believe i was willing to give you a second chance,"

“Hey," He frowned, stroking her cheek softly. She could feel herself wavering, torn between wanted to forgive him or punch him. All from one little touch and his soft brown eyes. She wouldn’t let this go that easily, no fucking way.

Sulli pushed him off, “You said you were going to protect me."

“Sulli,” His eyes widened as he began to try and calm her down as her tone got louder, only to be cut off.

Sulli could practically feel the rage in her veins like she had when she saw him for the first time in ten years, “You never showed up. They called you and you never fucking came!”

“What are you talking about?” He asked, holding her shoulders to keep her from swaying back and forth.

“At the hospital. I told them you would believe me.” Sulli murmured quietly as tears filled her eyes. Her drunk mind bringing her back to when she was a little girl, fighting the nurses as she begged them to call Paul, or Sue. She had just broken her arm after being pushed down a flight of stairs by her foster dad, Larry, and it was her word against her foster parents. She knew Paul would believe and get her out of there but he never showed.

"take her home," Sam ordered, coming up from behind Paul, "now,"

"Sam," Paul started, his eyes hardening again.

"Go, Paul." Sam demanded, not backing down, "you’re too distracted and she’s drunk, it’s not safe."

Paul sighed and tugged her wrist roughly, “come on,"

"no,” Sulli fought back, digging her heels into the ground.

"I’m not asking," He nearly barked at her, only for her to cross her arms in defence. He couldn’t intimidate her. He sighed and before she knew it, she was thrown over his shoulder.

With a small shriek of surprise, she demanded, ”put me down!”

“Paul!” She yelled again as the breeze of fresh air hit her, causing her to wonder how he made it to the door and outside so quickly. 

The older man ignored her pleas and profanity as he promptly walked through the parking lot with her over his shoulder, only setting her down once they had reached what she assumed was his car. A old, beaten down Jeep. She remembered it from when she was little. 

"I’m gonna be sick," She warned before bolting to the bushes lining the car park. Paul wasn’t far behind her as she felt her hair being gathered and lifted from her shoulders and back. A soothing hand rubbing up and down her spine.

As she finished puking, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stood up straight way to fast for her brains liking. The world around her was spinning causing her to stumble backwards and right into Paul who caught her by her waist, keeping her upright and on her feet.

"fuck, Sulli," He looked down at her with concerned eyes as she peered up at him.

"sorry," She mumbled as she let him lead her to his car. He opened the door for her and got her seated before she began to kick off her heels, “ I can just walk home.”

"no, hey, it’s okay." He reassured her as he knelt in front of where she sat with her legs dangling out of the passenger seat of his car, "you feel better? hm?"

She nodded, "are you mad at me?"

"no," He said as he swiped her hair from her face for her, "just worried,"

"you worry about me?" The younger girl asked teasingly. A childish grin on her face as she twisted her body to get a better look at the inside of his car. She had never been inside of it before, holding true to not wanting to be stuck in a moving vehicle with him. 

Paul muttered, “everyday for the past ten years,"

"why?" She asked curiously. He sure didn’t act like he was worried about her.

"because..." Paul let out a sigh, as if he was reluctantly telling her something,  "you’re my imprint."

"imprint." Sulli repeated.

“Yeah,”

A look of confusion crossed her face as she racked her brain for a definition of the word imprint. She could only come up with one and she doubted thats what he meant so, begrudgingly, she admitted, “I don’t know what that is.”

“I know.” He chuckled before mentioning, “Thats what we need to talk about. Is Kaycee working tonight?”

“Yeah,” She hummed absentmindedly.

“You’re staying with me tonight.” He told her, and from his tone she knew better than to argue. Besides, she didn’t want to be alone anyways, that was the whole reason she went out after work.

A small whine left the girls lips, “Only if rub my back like you did when I was little.”

“I’ll do anything for you, princess.” He murmured, sliding his palm across the length of her bare thigh. The little dress she wore exposed the entire length of her leg and as his hand reached near the hem, she put hers over top of his, holding it in place. The heat radiating from it warmed her body. She smiled at the pet name, remembering how she had, had a nightmare and he told her about a fairytale. Paul had completely made it up, telling her she was princess, and he was the wolf that was going to protect her. She didn’t need a prince because she was strong on her own, but the wolf would always be there to help.  If only that were true.

Sulli looked at him with an unamused look before she muttered, “I am a fucking princess.”

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - 46

A/N: I'M BACK!

Between crying babies and chatty seat neighbours, the flight was a long one. As she crossed through a pair of sliding doors and out into the kiss and ride area, she instantly spotted the raven haired women that made it all worth it.

"Hi, mommy," Tallulah said as she wrapped her mom up in a tight bear hug, forgetting all about her bags. 

"Oh, Lula," Winona grabbed her cheeks, taking her in, in person for the first time in five months, “You look so grown up,"

“We facetimed almost every day," Tallulah said teasingly. Though she understood what she meant. Her style had completely changed since arriving in New York. Long gone were the baggy, oversized clothes that she wore. Adopting a more feminine, soft aesthetic. Courtesy of her roommate Nell, who reminded her almost everyday of her first week in New York, that she was not in La Push anymore. She could dress to impress. Especially for the galleriest who came to look at all of their work, which seemed to be weekly.

Most of her wardrobe were cable knit sweaters she had thrifted, the only thing that compared to the warmth of her imprint. That thought alone struck a cord in her chest, a never-ending pit of longing for a man she had no spoken to since the fall break.

“I know," Her mother smiled, "you just.. im so proud of you." She said as she took a step back, the proudest smile Tallulah had ever seen growing on her face, "look at you, my little artist,“ 

Tallulah groaned, “is it a goal to make me cry today?”

"shush,”Winona jokingly said as she picked up one of her bags, light packing was not an option when Washington weather was so unpredictable "no crying, I made ginger snaps,"

"fuck, yes." Tallulah moaned in excitement. The first sign of Christmas in their household was the smell of ginger snaps, a generational recipe. 

“I dropped some off to Paul this morning,”

“Mom,” Tallulah frowned, though she understood why they had kept in contact despite the endless phone calls she had made to her mother in tears over him. He was never going to be gone for good.

"he’s going to know you’re back," Winona tutted, ushering her daughter into her car,”  if he shows up, what do you want me to tell him?"

Tallulah rolled her eyes before grumbling, “to go fuck himself,"

"hm,”Her mother hummed before asking the question sh had been dreading most of all. The question that almost kept her from getting on the plane in the first place,   "did you tell him?"

"no." Tallulah mumbled, bringing her knees up to her chest as she looked out the window to see the cityscape she loved so much. Seattle still had her heart it always will, she feared,

After a brief moment of silence, her mom voiced her opinion, “you should have,"

"it wouldn’t have made a difference, mom,” Tallulah snapped in frustration. She didn’t get it. This wasn’t some boy she could move on from. It was Paul, her entire world. He left her scared and alone, something he promised to never do. Avoiding him for a couple of months won’t kill him, but she figured it would show him how much he screwed up. Though, she didn’t think it would take this long for him to let her stew in her anger.

"lets get something to eat," W”inn hanged the subject, noticing her change in mood, “are you hungry?"

"i ate on the plane." She fibbed. A white little lie. A mini bag of pretzels was enough to quell her queasy stomach, anything more than that would just come right back up.

Noticing her moms worried look, she gave her a reassuring smile, "I’m fine, mom. i can handle this without flying off the rails,"

"i never said--"

"thats what everyone wants." Tallulah cut her off, “to tell me I’m still a child who doesn’t have her shit together and having some older boyfriend will fix that."

"I’ve never wanted that." Winona reinforced, something she had told her daughter many times over the phobe,  "i just want you to be safe and happy."

"i am," Tallulah promised. 

With a nod, her mother thankfully switched the subject again. One she was actually ready to talk about, “okay, tell me more about this gallery spot,"

[runwithwolvcs]

YOU KNOW IM NO GOOD - Forty Four

Four months since Tallulah has moved to New York. Four months of new adventures, new people, new everything.

Six weeks since shes heard from Paul. Albeit, that was her own doing for blocking his number. deep down though, she'd figure he'd run to her. or maybe that was another one of his broken promises.

In two hours, she would be back in Forks, where she will spend her three week winter break.

Alone.

[runwithwolvcs]

Right Where You Left Me

Hold Me Down

I’ve never been more thankful for a spare class, even though I know it was given to me out of pity. It gives me time to catch up on the school work I’ve been slacking on between being in the hospital and all these incessant nightmares.

Though today, I have spent it daydreaming. It's been nearly a week since I’ve seen Paul and it is starting to take a toll on me mentally.

Kim had said there had been issues over the weekend and I still haven't heard from him, nor has he been home.

I spot the one person I’ve been meaning to talk to walk out of the science building and know that now would be the best time, considering I’ve got no wolves hovering around me to piss her off.

“Leah, wait!” I call after her, leaving my belongings behind to chase after her.

The older woman turned back with a look of annoyance, “What do you want?”

“I just thought maybe we could catch up, it's been a while.” I say softly.

Leah shifts her weight from one foot to the other, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “Have you finally come to your senses?”

“About what?” I furrow my brows. 

“Don’t act stupid. About Sam!” Leah snapped at me, “You’re one of them now! My mom told me Paul wouldn’t even leave your side when you were in the hospital, she said it was cute.”

She spit out the word cute as if it were the most disgusting thing she had heard, before continuing her rant, “By the way, a dog attack? Everyone else may have bought that, but I’m not.”

I folded my arms across my chest, this was not the way I wanted this conversation to go. Leah and I never fight, but I’m not going to let her spew hate about Paul, or the rest of the pack for that matter, “What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means you should’ve taken my advice and just left him alone. Now look at you, lying for him!” She practically shouted at me.

“I’m not lying!” I said, matching her energy, “You don’t know him like you think you do.”

“No, but I know you. You’re too empathetic.” Leah said, scrunching her nose up. I frown at her judgement. She wasn't complaining about my empathy when I was the shoulder she was crying on about Sam.

“What? Do you want me to be more like you?” I shot back, adding, “At least I can forgive people when they deserve it.”

Leahs jaw dropped, “You think Sam deserves it? Fuck you.”

“I’m not talking about Sam! I could care less if you forgive him.” I rolled my eyes. Sam was complicated, I know that now. Between turning into a giant wolf, and imprinting on Emily, it was a recipe for disaster. I don’t agree with him just straight up ignoring Leah, and getting Paul to do the same to me, but I’m sure being the alpha of a pack with no one to guide him, is a stressful job.

“Then who?” She asked, placing her hands on her hips in an annoyed stance.

“Me!” I nearly shouted, “I used to be able to talk to you about anything, I still want to! But you’re pushing your hatred for Sam onto me. It’s not fair.”

“You ditched me for him.” Leah accused and now it was my turn for my jaw to drop. I hadn’t been around, sure, but I was still figuring things out with Paul and then the whole hospital situation didn’t leave really any room for time with Leah, but she never even messaged me. I would have responded, I always do.

“I didn’t, I never would. It’s just complicated because of Paul, but I think you would like him if you got to know him. The way I know him.” I tried to explain, but Leah just scoffed. The onslaught of tears was coming, I could feel them. I felt like I was breaking up with my best friend. This hurt more than Tessa dropping me because of the gang rumor, which, now that I’ve thought about it, she probably had a hand in spreading.

Leah sneered, “Fat chance of that happening. I’m not running in that crowd.”

I nod, wiping the first tear to fall. There was no use in arguing with her. Leah was as stubborn as she was loyal, I’m just no longer on the list of people she keeps close. 

“Guess I’ll see you around then..” I mumbled tearfully.

“Kia,” She said softly, “I’ll be here when you need it. It may seem like he's into you now, but he will kick you to the curb just like Sam did to me.”

I shook my head, knowing that wasn’t true. Oh, how I wish I could tell her their secret. I sigh and sniffle as I say,  “He won’t.”

“I’ll see you around, Kia, you’re bodyguards waiting for you.” Leah said snarkily before turning on her heels. I looked over my shoulder to see Paul standing  at the picnic table I had been doing homework at. A frown gracing his face as I walked towards him. I quickly wiped the tears that fell onto my cheeks.

“She doesnt know whats she talking about,”Paul said as I reached him, shaking his head as he mutters, “Leahs just a miserable--”

“She's my friend!” I cry, cutting him off and wrapping my arms around myself as the onslaught of tears finally comes.

Paul immediately pulled me in for a bear hug, “It's okay. She’ll see soon enough, mi estrella.”

“Estrella?” I question, not knowing the meaning of the Spanish word.

“Star.”He tells me, before placing a kiss on my hairline, “My favourite astrologer.”

I let myself sink into him more with a soft sigh. I never knew one person could make me feel so at peace, whenever I’m with Paul, he knows exactly how to take away my pain. Even if it's just for a little while. I tilt my head upwards to rest my chin on his chest, “I missed you so much.”

“Missed you too.” Paul grinned down at me, his hand leaving my hip to travel the length of my spine,  “S’happy I can finally touch you again. That photo wasn’t doing you justice.”

“Nu uh, we need to talk about what happened.” I tell him. As much as I would love to hop in his truck and head to our little place of solace, he got himself in trouble. He hadn’t told me on the phone when he called, but Kim had messaged me the day after to let me know about his quick temper while I was gone.

She had said that Paul almost let his temper get the best of him while off hunting some vampire in the area, and then lost at Sam in his own home for not doing more to keep them off our land. I understand why, he usually had front row seats to my nightmares. The star of them is a single vampire with blood red eyes. I tried to keep them a secret, until Paul had forced me to tell him, thinking maybe he could help with telling the difference between what was real, and what wasn’t.

He grimaced and looked over my head, “Right now?”

“Kim told me,” I said softly “I just want to know your point of view.”

“I missed you.” He murmured, looking back down at me. I could see the disappointment in his eyes. 

I stroked his cheekbone gently, “I missed you too.”

“When you’re not around, I feel…God, this sounds fucking stupid.” He grumbled with a shake of his head before letting go of me and sitting on the picnic bench. Paul was quick to pull me back into his arm and into his lap.

I brush his overgrown hair from his eyes, “Hey, don’t say that. I want to know how you feel, good or bad, you can talk to me.”

“I know. I’m trying.” He told me sincerely. I nodded encouragingly and he continued, “I feel like I don’t have an anchor..Nothing to hold onto when things get too…intense.”

“I understand, Paul.” 

“As soon as it happened, all I thought about was you. What would you say to me? It helped a bit, but it wasn’t the same.” He opened up honestly, more than I had expected from him. Paul had gotten used to channelling his anger to his wolf, he had said that's what Sam had encouraged him to do before he had imprinted on me. Now, he's been asked to do a complete 180.  “I guess..I sometimes worry that I’m disappointing you.”

“Me?” I asked, not sure why he would think that. It's almost impossible for him to disappoint me. For someone who had claimed he wasn’t ‘the relationship’ prior to the imprint, he was doing a hell of a lot better at it then I am. Even before, he always wanted to go do things together, I was fine just sneaking through his window. Neither of us are good at being vulnerable, but if I ask, he delivers, everytime.

“You were so happy when Sam finally said I didn’t need supervision anymore, and then I lost it. I hurt you.” He frowned at the memory, “It’s like I’m back at square one.”

I shake my head and hold his cheeks to bring his eyes back to mine, “That’s not true. I am so proud of you, okay? The little things matter too.” 

“I don’t know. I’m working on it though, I promise.” Paul dips his head forward and pecks my lips, as if he's sealing that promise.

“Can I be honest with you?” I ask, and he nods as he pulls back, “I know you don’t like talking about it with me and I get it.You want us to be as normal as can be. But what you do for the tribe, would take a toll on anyone. That's why you have a pack. Lean on them when you need it, I’m sure they feel the same way you do.”

Pressing a kiss to my forehead, before murmuring, “I feel like the luckiest man alive with you in my arms.”

“I know the feeling.” I said as I tuck my head into the crook of his neck, placing a gentle kiss to the side of it, “You’re like a giant heating pad.”

He chuckled, “You know, I can feel when your cramps are bad.”

“Can you?” I sigh in contentment.

“It's dull, like everything else I feel from you. But I know you’re in pain.” He explains before he slides his hand to my lower back, spreading his palm over my spine. “It's always your back.”

“Remember when you used to think I was overexaggerating?” I poke at him with a teasing smile.

“I’m sorry.” He said genuinely, “I’ll make it up to you in a couple of days,,”

“A couple of days?” I ask, before moving to straddle him. 

“Right now?” he wiggled his eyebrows, “I’m not afraid of a little blood.”

“Gross,” I cringe at the thought, “How ‘bout a kiss?”

“I’ll give you as many kisses as you’d like, pretty girl.” He mumbled before bringing his hand to the back of my neck to hold me in place as he brushed his lips against mine. I instantly bring my hands to his hair, indulging in the feeling that I’ve missed so much. One thing about Paul and I, we will always be a physical couple. Though there is the fine line we have never crossed, which is what to label ourselves. To everyone else, it looks like we are already dating and maybe we are. But the conversation has never happened, and I’m not sure it ever will. We’re partners. Have been for a while, and that will never change.

“I don’t want you to cut your hair.” I mumbled, tangling my fingers into the ends on the nape of his neck before bringing my lips back to his.

“You prefer when I'm neat.” He tutted against my lips.

I blush at his statement, before curling into his body for more heat.“Not the hair on your head, doofus.”

He chuckled, “I know, baby. I’ll keep it as long as I can manage.”

“Just enough to braid,” I suggested, “I miss doing that.”

“It's getting there,” he said, shaking his hair wildly. I couldn't help but giggle as I brushed it away from his eyes.

“So handsome.” I murmur, before bringing his head down and pressing my lips back to his once, “I could kiss you all day,”

“I won't stop you.” Paul said, squeezing my hip. “I have Friday night off, want to go to the look out?”

“We’ll need more blankets this time, my back has just recovered.” I said teasingly as I stroked the side of his face. We had found the lookout after an evening that went awry, both of our fathers had come home, leaving us with no bedroom. We drove around for a few hours before we found it. I remember joking that that was where he took all his favourite girls, and he promised it would just be our spot. Paul had even divulged in the information that he had cleaned the bed of his truck thoroughly, calling it brand new and untouched.It was loaded with blankets and pillows because he had been watching the weather, after I had told him I wanted to go stargazing at the beach. Though the lookout was a way better spot. No tourists, with an amazing few of the water below.

I think that's when I first realised I was falling for him, despite our no feelings agreement.

“I’ve got something even better.” He whispered before Paul nipped my ear gently.

“Hey, love birds! Not on school property!” Emily called from the window of her classroom. I giggled uncontrollably, mentally adding the picnic tables to the list of places Emily has told us PDA is unacceptable. 

“She's everywhere, I swear.” Paul muttered, he was not a fan of all the rules and regulations of where and when he could touch all because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself at a pack dinner.

[runwithwolvcs]

Addicted To You

Let Me Down Easy

Word Count: 1655

PAULS POV

Paul heard Kaycee say from the backdoor, “Yeah, she's gone for the week. If anything happens to Tommy, she’ll kill me.”

It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was talking about Sulli. Tommy was basically her child, she cared more for him than anything else on earth.

“Hey, man.” Collin nodded in his direction as he entered the room.

“Where's Sulli?” Paul asked, sitting in the lazy boy across from the lovesick imprints. He envied them, they had it so easy. Meanwhile, he could figure out how to keep his own imprint from hating him. Paul felt it, it was hard to ignore but he didn’t want to anyway. It was his own personal punishment for hurting Sulli. Three weeks and counting since their argument. Paul was on edge more and more every single day.

“Seattle.” Kaycee said nonchalantly as she kept her eyes downcast on Collin.

“What's in Seattle?” Paul asked quizzically. Sulli had never mentioned anything about Seattle as she had started to open up to him after spending more nights in his sheets than her own. She would talk about anything, from the new plant she had gotten to old highschool stories and Paul listened to every single word she said. 

Kaycees eyes flicked up at him, “Why do you care?”

He shrugged, “Just making conversation.”

“Her dad’s prison is in Seattle.” Brady informed me from the doorway to the living room, a sandwich in hand. The kid never stopped eating. Paul opened his mouth to tell him to get lost, knowing that was an off limits conversation to Sulli. It always had been, even as a little girl she would shut down if anyone but herself mentioned her father.

Kaycee beat him to it as she scoffed, “Yes, it is. But that's not why she's there you jerk.”

“Why else would she be there?” Brady shot back.

“Kay?” Collin looked up from her lap, all eyes on Sullis bestfriend for an answer.

She looks between the three men, “It's not for me to say.”

Brady scoffed, “Oh, come on. Is it because of some guy?”

“No, it's not,” She said pointedly, “It's because of you!”

“Me?!” The youngest wolf asked as if it were the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

Paul stayed silent, he knew it was a possibility. The guilt that had been eating at him since their argument reared its ugly head. Had they really pushed her too far? Maybe he should have left her relationship with Brady alone, he thought. 

Kaycee stood up from her spot on the couch, forcing Collin to sit up,“She’s talking about moving to Seattle and finishing up her schooling there because you decided to do a complete 180!” 

Brady gulped nervously, his eyes shifting from Kaycee to Paul, before back at her again, “You’re sure that's why she's there?”

“I’m positive.” She said with surety, “She said the only thing keeping her here was me, and now that I have Colin and she knows I won't be alone, she wants a fresh start. Again. I would too if I was her.”

“Meaning?” Paul crossed his arms as he watched his imprint's best friend justify Sullis decisions.

“Meaning everywhere she goes she gets fucked over.” Kaycee said. Paul could see the sympathy in her eyes and his jaw locked into place. She knows something he doesn't, it was obvious, though that didn't surprise him. Kaycee continued her rampage, clearly enraged by the whole ordeal that had occurred, “This was supposed to be her fresh start after foster care, a real home. You two stomped all over that and ruined it.”

Paul scoffed, standing up to face Kaycee as she took an unprovoked step towards him,“I don't know why you’re dragging me into this.”

“I warned you. I said to leave her friendship with Brady alone and you didn't.” She poked his chest with her pointer finger, as if that would help her get her point across better, “She has me, Paul. That's it. And then Brady and Collin came along and it was great until you ruined that, now all she has is me again.”

Kaycee looked towards Collin who seemed stuck to the couch, watching with bated breath. She tilted her head towards the door before turning to Paul and saying,  “Just leave her alone, Paul.”

“I would if she wasn’t my fucking imprint.” He said angrily. Paul had never meant for things to go this way. It's not what had wanted, or even envisioned the first time he had laid eyes on her. Sulli was supposed to stay in La Push. Sue wanted her to stay, to have the family she deserved to have. A life that he got to witness, and be a part of. That's what he had wanted.

Instead she was ripped from him and next thing he knows he is staring in the eyes of a young woman who's been sleeping with his little brother. 

“What?” Kaycees face went through a multitude of emotions, “I knew it.”

“Dont fucking tell her.” Paul snapped before pushing past her, the small living room now making him feel claustrophobic. He needed her voice, even if it meant her losing her cool again. It was selfish, but he didnt care. The alternative was letting the rage inside of him take over and running to Seattle to see her in person.

He dialled her number and groaned impatiently as it went straight to voicemail.

Trying again, his fingers tightened around his phone as he listened to the dial tone. He nearly gives up before hearing he soft a sigh on the other line but her harsh tone of voice, “What do you want?”

The corner of his mouth upticks, at least she answered,“Do you have time to talk?”

“Not with you.” She laughed insultingly. He grimaced, realizing he could just charm his way out of this one.

“Sulli, please.” He begged.. His eyes widened as he realised what he had said. Paul was not a beggar, yet here he was. There was silence on her end, so he took it as an invitation to keep speaking and hopefully not completely fuck things up again, “You can't move to Seattle.”

Sulli scoffed, “Why not?”

“You wanted to know about the wolf stuff, and I’m ready to tell you.” He said honestly. There was no way of getting back on her good side without telling her the truth. The truth about the pack, the imprint, all of it. Paul continued cautiously saying, “Now, I’m going to be gone for a couple of days, maybe even a week. But when I get back, I’ll tell you.”

“You’re only telling me because I’m mad at you.” She pointed out.

“Yeah.” He agreed, “I don't want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not moving to Seattle.” She said after a beat, quietly adding, “I just needed a break.”

Paul tried not to let the information of her not moving deter him from what he really wanted to say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know that things were bad. Nothing about what you went through was fair.”

“That was only the beginning.” Sulli remarked solemnly. That familiar feeling of fury boiled within. The idea of anyone laying their hands on her made him physically sick to his stomach. Paul made a mental note to never let her see his own rage, he didn't want her fear to ever be caused by him and what he was capable of. 

“If you want to talk about--” He started, though she cut him off quickly.

“I don’t.” Sulli said adamantly, “I just want to forget and move on. I can’t do that with you, and your friends constantly asking questions that I can’t answer without feeling suffocated.”

“Okay. No more questions.” He acknowledged, before immediately asking after, “Do you feel suffocated in Forks?”

“That's a question.” She pointed out, a small giggle-like sound passed through the speaker causing him to smile. This was good. There was no hostility in her tone of voice, just her usual teasing nature. The one that pulled him every time making him work for her attention to be kept on him as it wandered away until eventually his head was between her legs and she was moaning his name, solely focused back on him. Paul was as selfish as they come, but for her , he would do anything.

“Last question.” Paul promised.

“Sometimes.” She admitted, her voice wavered nervously as she added, “More so La Push. The pack. You.”

“Me.” He confirmed. Paul felt like he had been sucker punched with that revelation. He suffocated her. Was that what he was doing now?

“It's good and bad, y’know? Everyone…moved on with their lives like…like..it was a nightmare for me and just another Sunday for them.” Sulli reasoned, and he could see where she was coming from, but it still didn't ease his mind.

“Can I tell you a secret? Not even Brady knows.” Paul asked, the amount of information he was willing to share was more than he ever thought he would. 

“Mhm.” She hummed.

“Sam, Jared and I spent the last ten years looking for you. Just to check on you.” He said warily, unaware of how she would react to the new information. “We only ever caught your scent once, four years ago. Which makes sense if you weren’t too far.”

“I moved around a lot.” She responded, the sound of her moving her phone from one ear to the other filled the speaker before she timidly told him,  “I don’t want to move around anymore.”

Paul frowned, “You don’t need to. Forks is your home.” 

She was silent for the longest minute of his life. So quiet he had to check his phone screen to make sure his phone hadn't accidentally disconnected. Sulli sighed quietly before teasingly saying, “I’ll see you in a week, Paul.”