rushinwrites

[rushinwrites]

Funerals

Someone asks her " how many funerals have u attended till now*

She replies saying: "2"

Although she knew at the back of her mind. She missed one funeral, didn't know when it happened, where it was held, how it was held, a funeral which no one attended. Not even her.

The funeral of her younger self. She only knows the reason why she died. But didn't know how and when and where it was held or happened..

Often times humans attend others funeral but forget to attend theirs and give themselves some credit. It's too late before they start grieving about it because it happened a long time ago and it goes unnoticed.

-rush

[rushinwrites]

Drug?

Although I drug myself with meds it's never enough to uplift the pain, it'll never be enough. There's some underlining to the pain, we get comfort in it and it's really sad to waste your life away because of a person who couldn't understand you but all you known is him and that's what u know, to sacrifice yourself for him for evryone around you. That's what you feel is the right way.

[rushinwrites]

Breath

It felt like suffocating everywhere however there was one place for her where she could breath as much as she wants...

In his arms.

As he stood there with his arms open, she ran into his arms finally breathing in breaking into sobs... She held him tight not wanting to let go ever again.

-rush 8 march '25

[rushinwrites]

Consequences

If loving you came with a cost of loving you forever, id forever choose to love you selflessly.

Id forever be yours and only yours dedicating myself to you.

I love you Lil sprout, i always will love you. No matter what .

If costing of loving you comes with consequence of not loving anyone, id still choose you.

-rush 14 march '25

[rushinwrites]

In my opinion

You shape into the women that forms you, whether you like it or not. No matter how much you hate her for treating you like shit and gaslighting you. As you grow old you find yourself more like her for survival, basic Instincts, basic methods you learnt from her unknowingly.

For me it's personally shocking

( I'm not talking about physically abusive mothers more like verbally and Gaslighting mothers)

[rushinwrites]

I love you and always will love you

[rushinwrites]

I miss you

[rushinwrites]

Apricity

She was the apricity in my life

Almost indelible from my life so much so that I'd try to erase her from my mind but every small thing would make me appreciate her beauty and presence in my life.

Dec 30 10:28 am

[rushinwrites]

Curse

Loving u came with a curse..

Curse that no one could lift.

Loving u for eternity even after things ended was the curse that came with you.

My love

Jan 4 6:50 pm

[rushinwrites]

Him

Oh god, if he is happy with someone else. Then let him be. Let him have abundance and happiness with his person, let him be happy and stress-free. That's all I hope from you

My notes app on Jan 27 5:05pm

[rushinwrites]

Only if I got you once again

I'd never let u go. Never again.

If there was a way to mix two souls and bodies id do that, just for you so we could never ever let go of each.

I would never ever let u go every again even if it costs me my life..

[rushinwrites]

Meaning of love

They say that it takes guts to fall in love..

Although I have 'em to fall in love but never out.

It's a one way street for me with heavy fog or thunderstorm on your way out.

Some say love never hurts.

Some say love hurts and stings like a little bee.

Some say it's useless.

Some say second chances should be given.

Some say it's the best thing that happened to them.

Some say to give up when you don't get what you want.

Some say to go thru hurdles with your partner.

Love has a different meaning to each individual. It stays yours and only yours when you stick to your opinion and not others.

[rushinwrites]

Never good

I was never good at painting especially bringing the painting into words or even on the paper with colour.

I could never paint as good as my mind should imagine.

Although I claimed to be a writer.

I somewhere knew i lacked..

lacked in bringing them to life..

lacked in giving their beautiful justice.

[rushinwrites]

One day I'll be grateful

One day I'll lose u to death, even if I get you for this lifetime.

One day I'll lose you to illnesses, even if i get you back.

However

I'll always be grateful for the lifetime i spend with you always.

I'll always be grateful to breathe each sec next to you.

I'll always be grateful to the times when I got to stare at you.

I'll always be grateful that I got your love in this lifetime.

Always, my love.

[rushinwrites]

Worth of love?

"I was never meant for love anyways", she tried to reason with the pain that he caused her.

"I was never meant to find any love", she said while tears rolling down her face.

" God didn't make me for love ", she yet again tried to reason with the pain inside.

As she tried to understand why did he give up all of the sudden and leave her?

"I wasn't worthy of love ", she exclaimed.

With all that confusion, sadness and pain. She didn't blame anyone but herself for letting that happen to her again. When she promised herself that she would never go back to that phrase again.

She knew for a fact that, she won't be able to love anyone like she loves him, or live like that again.

[rushinwrites]