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sadetta · 2 months

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Can you give some blowjob tips? I need to improve lol

Aight get ready to get ur hoe on, this is everything I know. And this is what works for me, so try it out and play around w it see what works for u and whats enjoyable for ur partner and suck his soul outta is body. Remember you can’t half-ass this shit it wont be enjoyable for you or him, you gotta dive right in like the sex god(dess) you are:

Tease him, don’t just jump right in. Make out & stroke him over his clothes, rub and squeeze a bit. Kiss his damn neck, don’t forget his nipples, they sensitive 2 (play w it, lick it - pro tip: a light touch is A+)

kiss your way down, be sensual & shit, guys love that shit; look up @ him when u do, that’s sexy as hell; get comfortable cause I know when I don’t take time to position myself my knees and hips hurt like a bitch, I like sitting/kneeling between his legs if he’s laying down or sitting. If he’s standing its not as bad

I like to stroke and pump him lightly a few times a few times while I try to gather saliva in my mouth. how you want to start is up 2 u. Licking his length or putting the tip in your mouth (i like this one). I like to switch it up tho, so go crazy. Establishing eye contact when u do this is hella erotic too. Kiss his belly (like below his belly button and above his pubic area - if u wanna kiss there thats fine too I don’t cause pubes), kiss his thighs (guys love this too)

People say roll your lips over your teeth (like an old person) so you don’t scrape his weewee but like????? that dont work with me & makes it more difficult, I don’t have much trouble with my teeth. Just keep your lips flat over your teeth (don’t pull your lips up like with a toothy smile) and you’ll be fine.

The 1st 10-15 seconds, I’m just trying to get him as wet as possible with spit (and you can use this to see how much of him you can fit in your mouth) so bounce your head a few times and suck, test how far in you can fit him, get messy and get it wet (as much as you can) guys LOVE sloppy cause it feels much better. If you have difficulty with this, try hitting the back of your throat. If you gag a little it’ll produce more saliva but back up immediately. In my experience, if I’m enjoying myself and getting into it then I produce a lot more spit. If it’s still difficult invest in some lube.

Go fuckin wild. The main thing is to suck on it obv. Bounce your head up and down, use your hand(s) to stroke what you can’t fit in your mouth. Swirl your tongue around while you suck on him. Alternate your speeds, go fast for a few seconds then slow down. And vary your sucking strength too. Sometimes you gotta suck him like its the end of the world and switch it up and do it lightly to tease him. A trick is “hollowing out your cheeks”, you’re basically pulling your cheeks in like when you make a “goldfish face” or when your contour LMAO this makes it super tight - I can’t do this for very long gotta watch out for teeth when u do this tho. It’s okay to take breaks from sucking and take him out of your mouth, just keep stroking him with your hand. And lick his length (eye contact!!)

I know some guys like to face fuck a girl, mine doesn’t really. But if he does and you’re comfortable with it then just relax your mouth and let him do the work. I tend to flex the back of my throat when ths happens or else it’ll hit my gag reflex. Remember to talk about it before hand (usually a guy will ask if he can) make sure you have a signal or something to back off because it can get overwhelming especially if he’s larger and/or doing very hard.

During strokes, squeeze a little tighter when you’re pulling towards the tip (you) than when you’re going towards him. it’s okay to use a tight grip (don’t hulk it) but I found that light teasing touches are gr8 too. Focus on the head, do small strokes on the tip, run your thumb over it. Lightly lick the tip and flick your tongue around and play w it. Take the tip into your mouth and suck on it

Don’t forget about his balls! They’re super super sensitive. When you need a break from sucking, keep stroking his shaft, and lick his balls. Try and take them in your mouth suck on em and swirl them around with your tongue (try taking both if u can u champ; if not one @ a time is good too). But you definitely have to be more careful with them because you can easily hurt him. When you’re sucking on his penis, massage his balls lightly (hella sensations)

okay my finishing move; if he hasn’t come yet that day (my partner and I go several rounds so) this will finish him right off. When you’re sucking him, try to take him as far in as you can that you’re still comfortable with and tense and flex the muscles there. A swallowing motion around his penis, while you’re sucking. This might take some practice to flex it while still sucking so it’s okay to actually swallow, it’ll just prevent you from sucking. If you moan or hum during this the vibrations will make it even better. If you can deep throat him then hell yeah hell yeah, go u (i can’t lmao)

Pay attention to his reactions. If his breathing gets erratic, his grip gets tighter, moan, or buckle his hips when you’re doing a certain move then keep doing it. Observe him and what he likes. It’s really helpful if he communicates, I know certain guys don’t though. So ask him, say “oh you like that?” “this feel good?” I like to keep it playful and joke if I know he’s enjoying it “oh you like that? want me to keep going?” etc. it’ll classify as dirty talk and help guide you to do more of what he likes.

When he’s close, focus on the tip. Usually guys will let you know (if he doesn’t, tell him beforehand to give you a warning) I always swallow, if you can: do it. It’s sexy for him, and less of a mess. Try to swallow while he’s cumming, cause in my experience if I wait and let it pool in my mouth, it’ll be unpleasant it gets messy & leaks when you remove your mouth. While he’s cumming, do light sucking motions on his head, don’t take him all the way in (I angle his penis up towards the roof of my mouth instead of the back of my throat cause if you have a gag reflex then whoa buddy ur in for a surprise. I don’t even have a sensitive one and it made me gag and tear up because ejaculation comes out at a v fast pace.)

If you can’t swallow then try to keep it in your mouth and go to the bathroom to spit it out. Try and take it like a trooper, because if you make faces of disgust it’ll make him feel bad. If you really don’t want him to, then talk about it with him beforehand and come to an agreement, maybe let him cum on you, in your hand, or something. I don’t like doing this because it is really messy, especially if he has a big load (which mine does). My guy and I have an agreement that he can cum on me if we’re in the shower cause it washes right off.

And last thing: not mandatory obviously but it’ll make your life easier. If you have long hair I recommend tying it up in a ponytail. It makes it neater, it’s gives him a good view of what you’re doing. And it’s something for him to grab onto (and pull - if you’re into that).

Have fun, do your best, remember that this takes time and it’s not something you get great at overnight (but if u do then good for u), it takes time. So go out there and make them moan and cuss under their breath with your blowjob skills.

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sadetta · 3 months

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narcissism/NPD recovery resources, because there’s like nothing good out there

Books and things to read:

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad

10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD

Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism

Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist

Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.

Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen

Things to watch and listen to:

Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth

Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD

Misc:

Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)

NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)

NPD Recovery Comics by The Ego System - A bunch of fantastic comics about recovering from NPD.

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sadetta · 8 months

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sadetta · 8 months

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Norma with the sunlight across her face (2023)

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sadetta · 8 months

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sadetta · 9 months

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Napping fox

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sadetta · 9 months

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-Ask Polly

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sadetta · 9 months

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oh how being loved is to be flawed in a world full of repulsive reflections of perfection

so lonesome and mysterious that the simple act of your company is rebellion

I'll see to it, some other day

I'll sleep another night

live another day

a little closer to serenity

lend some time this way

there is no second act

so I'll promise stay

though I know I'll wake up feeling the same

and I never catch the train in that dream

Something is collapsing, giving in

something at the tip of your tongue

it's getting late, isn't it?

the brittle prayer of my heart asking: will you be the one to stay?

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sadetta · 10 months

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Just finished Turtles All The Way Down by John Green. Truthfully, I am a wreck. I have never felt more seen in my entire life than when I was reading that book.

For those who don’t know, Turtles All The Way Down follows a 16yo girl named Aza who lives with OCD. Aza and her friends are trying to solve a mystery with lots of her mental illness dispersed in it. It’s an amazing, AMAZING book especially since the author, John Green is writing from his own experience with OCD.

This book is one for sure that I will keep close to my heart!

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sadetta · 1 year

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