sadpterodactyl

[sadpterodactyl]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

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hey! donate to uk trans charities today because it’s gonna be a rough one

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I can't stop singing it.

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Discovery gets a star from me for a 'best improved' TV show. I still can't quite believe it - first season is unwatchable, second is laughable, third shows some hope... ...fourth season made me cry. Twice. So have some oil sketches! Oil on paper

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It's <checks calendar> ...2 months late. Anyhow. Ivanova's confession in the Ceremonies of Light and Dark always punches a hole in my heart, so for memory have Talia and that one night.

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Guess what I've been re-watching! They look messy like hell, because I've decided to be lazy and just went with ink without any draft what so ever. Ink on paper

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Emmrich's beloved.

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I'M IN!

Minvember : a Babylon 5 Art Challenge for November 2024

When: November 1st to 30th

Rules: The objective is to try to draw something inspired by each word prompt using the palette provided. You have 5 days to complete each prompt. Also while the challenge is called Minvember you do not have to draw Minbari! Just draw anything Babylon 5! If you have any questions about anything else, please feel free to send an ask.

This started as an art challenge, but writers are welcome and encouraged to participate as well!

Finally don’t forget to tag your work with #minvember so we can find it and reblog!  Happy drawing/writing!

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Ethan Peck's Spock makes me want to wrap him up in a blanket and pat his silly muscular back. It's going to be alright, baby girl!

Charcoal, paper, the works

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Considering yesterday was Kirk I really didn't have to think long about what I want to draw tonight, but soft pastels simply wouldn't do. Also - that was never supposed to be quite so sinister, just imagine it's Bones's POV xD Pencil on paper

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Making photos of soft pastels with bad camera is... problematic. Still - here's the golden boy <3

Soft pastels on paper

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Doodles! ...did someone said Veilguard? It's not like I started re-playing DA:I a minute after the Veilguard gameplay reveal... Charcoal on paper

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“None of us know for sure what’s out there. That’s why we keep looking. Keep the faith. Travel hopefully. The universe will surprise you constantly.” - The Doctor

I don’t talk about it very often on this blog but I have a rare neuropathic condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It causes me constant, debilitating full-body pain along with a host of other symptoms that affect every aspect of my life.

I got sick when I was 9 years old. I am 25 now and over the years my condition has deteriorated. I’ve developed several comorbidities which in combination have become life threatening.

In 2021 I was admitted to hospice. I was only able to make it through with the support of my friends who found new treatment options and set up a fundraiser for me. I’m beginning another round of treatment soon and with your help I will be able to afford the care I need during this lengthy recovery process.

These last few years have been the hardest of my life, but also the most hopeful. This disease has taken so much from me but I refuse to give up. I know I have a future, I just need help getting there.

You can learn more about my story here:

TV Interview // Radio Interview

You can help by donating, reblogging this post and sharing my fundraiser. Every bit helps!!!

🌟 LINK TO MY FUNDRAISER! 🌟

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Work in progress! Have a quick two-colour warm up and the first layer for my new craze - an oil painting of 11th Doctor.

Oil on canvas

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Ooh, I'm good

Soft pastel on paper

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Well into Doctor Who re-watch I suddenly remembered - this show gets depressing after s2 xD And I still love every minute

Soft pastels on paper - keep in mind this is tiny - below A4

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Oh, this is messy - but at least I had fun! Trying to keep up with one drawing per day challenge and still very much in Doctor Who mood! Christoper Eccleston as Ebenezer Scrooge in Old Vic's Christmas Carol Soft pastels on paper