sahturndays

[sahturndays]

“Some people hate the thought of being alone. I’m not like that. I love my solitude. I’m kind to myself. My feelings don’t get hurt. My energy’s not leeched. And it’s very peaceful.”

— Unknown

[sahturndays]

i was mean, there’s no other way to say it, but oh was i loving! i made you feel inadequate; not good enough, but perfection was right in front of me. i was cruel, but can you not see i’ve changed! i am full of love! i stayed up all those nights, glueing pieces back together, i would not let you break me! i worked so hard! i became a better person, and you still talk bad on my name! my name! i was full of rage growing up in this home, i am sorry you met me when i was 15, but you gave my love a home. i was not a terrible person; i did not know how to love.

but i promise you that is all i am now, and i only want to give it to you.

[sahturndays]

if you loved me as much as i loved you, you’d have to be thinking about me too.

i hope you are

[sahturndays]

i don’t remember the younger me

nothing remains but photographs

with no emotion attached.

has that much happened

that my brain wanted to forget?

i wonder if you remember

the younger me,

i remember the younger you,

so please come back,

just to remind me of me?

and stay a little while after?

[sahturndays]

i hope you find me in the dark corners of your mind,

at least that’s something.

i hope you find me in songs, i find you in plenty.

i find you in faces

i probably scare the strangers i stare at that look like you

i find you in laughs, i find you in the smallest details,

perhaps i find you everywhere

so i’m left wondering if your mind does the same.

i find you in my dreams,

i sleep in on those mornings

just for a few more moments with you,

left wondering if your mind does the same.

[sahturndays]

the worst part was forgetting

part of me didn’t want to let go

but slowly your voice faded,

then your laugh and i knew

sooner or later you’d be gone.

i go check photographs so your face

at least remains a foggy memory,

what am i meant to do with these emotions?

this love cannot simply disappear,

instead it makes a home of me,

buried itself deep inside

to always serve as a reminder of you.

i don’t miss you anymore but it still hurts

[sahturndays]

i fear no one will love me the way i love

possibly because i cannot explain it,

but there has to be someone out there

with this desire to love with everything they have.

it is as if that is all i am made of

so full of it i overflow

but,

how painful it is to overflow

and drown in what made you.

all i ask is to let me drown in you,

rehydrate me, because you want to,

give me what i have been begging to get back,

love.

[sahturndays]

i think the thing is, no one’s going to really get to know you, inside and out. that’s what i’ve always told myself, i’m far too complex for anyone to want to get to know. my mind is always thinking, no one has ever wanted to listen, sit and pay attention to what comes out.

no one has ever listened to me, understood me.

i crave to be understood.

[sahturndays]

Random Thing I Wrote (Part 4)

To the boy I used to love.

I usually don’t think about you anymore, but when I do you still hit me in the gut. It scares me when I realize that I can barely remember anything about you. The way you used to smile when you were talking about something you love. The way that you always tried to hear my voice. The way that you liked seeing me flustered just so that you could always see a different side of me that you hadn’t seen before. I’m scared to think how much more I will forget you in a year’s time.

I can hardly remember why I broke things up with you. Even the emotions are mixed up. I never really knew what love was, but then I look at your messages and realize that you didn’t either.

this was on my original blog (trustmeifyoudare) but i’m moving all of my writing to this blog. cheers

[sahturndays]

need to sleep but i’m not tired and all i can do is sit and write and try to feel anything other than sorrow and sinking further and further into my bed as my soul feels like it’s being ripped out of my cavernous chest over and over again all the while you are off away in your own place, your own bed, your own world, and i cannot breathe wondering if you wonder about me too sometimes

the way it hurt to lose you is the way i self destruct. my stomach is empty and tearing at my insides begging for a parcel of you but you have been gone for some time now so i starve myself because all i can stomach is the thought of you. the thought of your lips on my cheek and your hands on my hips and your love on my heart. that is gone now. so i laugh and i sing and i cry and i cry and i cry.

i miss you, oh god how i miss you. sleepless nights with you felt like the most peaceful slumber because when i had you i needed nothing else. you were my life you were my energy you were my muse and now i find it hard to express myself at all. the way it made me feel when we agreed it was over is nothing i had ever felt before. i could feel the cells in my body exploding one by one. i could feel the blood in my veins slowing to a stop. i could feel the ocean of tears coming to wipe out nations of strong emotion from my weary eyes. it came. and it went. and here i am. and there you are.

and i wonder.

do you think about me sometimes?

do you miss me too?

do you regret the fights, and the fire, and the anger?

do you regret me?

…

i have been dreaming of you coming home to me.

but there is no home.

and there is no you.

[sahturndays]

things don't just "happen" in your 3D.

see, i know how confusing manifesting can be sometimes. you think you are in charge of your thoughts and then you see something pop up in your 3D that you haven’t been thinking about at all or tried to ignore — and you begin to think to yourself "now, where did this come from?". in this post, i‘ll try my best to explain this phenomenon to you.

you manifest everything.

you already know that. if you are already a bit familiar with manifesting you know that everything stems from imagination, everything comes from within — you are the cause of whatever is happening in your life. you manifest the things into your reality by accepting an assumption to be real and persisting in it. persisting while having no doubts or a lack of faith in form of opposing thoughts creates belief. for some, repetitively reaffirming that assumption and then persisting in those affirmations creates belief. whatever helps you build that belief — you will know it has been established once you see that assumption be presented to you in your physical reality. that’s basically how you manifest.

your subconscious beliefs.

once you‘ve persisted in a thought long enough, it becomes a firm belief. so, who is responsible for the materialization of your desires? your subconscious mind. consciousness is made up of conscious and a subconscious mind. whatever you think of throughout the day happens consciously, meaning, you are aware of it. your conscious mind is active whenever you are. your subconscious mind however is active at all times, especially when you sleep. accepted thoughts end up in your subconscious where they manifest in your reality pretty much immediately.

an example.

why is this important? well, think about all the beliefs you have that you don’t think about all the time. your life looks pretty much the same as yesterday, right? assuming that you haven’t changed your thoughts and have started to assume a better life for yourself — your days look alike. your bedroom doesn’t change, your parents remain the same, and so on. this happens because of beliefs you have established a long time ago. you became used to this mindset which is why you don’t go through drastic changes each day.

and this goes for the things you see in your everyday life. the beliefs you have determine your life. you think you are a good student? your 3D will show you that. and this is why a change must always happen from within. this is why you change your way of thinking and your perception of the things as they used to be and make them adapt to your new belief system.

conclusion.

remember, things cannot happen outside of your imagination. there is no outer power bigger than your ability to manifest. you are at all times in control of your thoughts and therefore your life!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ © 23209

[sahturndays]

’𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑜’ 𝑀𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑎 𝑑𝑎𝑦:

❦ i manifest anything I want in less than a day

❦ it’s a fact I can manifest anything I want in less than a day

❦ it never takes me more than a day to manifest all of my desires

❦ i always receive whatever I desire in less than a day, there is no exception

❦ i easily manifest whatever I desire in less than a day

❦ my 3D always conforms to my desires within less than a day

❦ my desires always show up in less than a day

❦ waiting?? bitch what’s that? I always get what I want in less than a day

❦ i don’t even have to do anything, I just sit down looking pretty while I watch all my desires conform in less than a day

❦ my 3D starts to shift real fast whenever i have a desire because i get that shit in less than a day

[sahturndays]

-5

[sahturndays]

[sahturndays]

DARK FEMININE

- i don’t chase, i attract.

- i am becoming the best version of myself.

- i am everyone’s favorite obsession.

- i always look hot without trying.

- i know what i want and im gonna get it.

- im dangerously hot.

- i am a powerful women who has the potential to manifest whatever the hell i want.

- what doesn’t serve me doesn’t deserve me.

- everything i desire, desires me more.

- everyone falls in love with me and my energy.

- this is my world and everyone else is just living in it.

- people stare at me like they never seen a walking goddess.

- i am the creator of my own reality.

- those bitches who talk bad about me are just jealous of me.

[sahturndays]

How To Unleash Your Inner Femme Fatale: Dark Feminine Energy

Attracting satisfaction – professionally, mentally, physically, sexually, and spiritually – is the secret of strong, seductive women.

Indulge in every aspect of your being:

Spend 20 minutes planning the next day

Focus on your most important 1-3 tasks that will generate the most impactful results

Read for least 30 minutes every day – self-development, to build a new skill set, stay updated on your industry

Set 5 main quarterly goals (work, finances, health, relationships, self-development)

Nourish your body with whole, plant foods and plenty of water

Take long walks daily

Do pilates, yoga, or other low-impact exercises to move and tone your body

Invest in clothes that make you feel your best – for the boardroom, bedroom, and everywhere in between

Find a beauty routine (hair, skincare, nails, makeup, perfume) that makes you feel your best

Make time every week to further explore your sexuality

Meditate for 10 minutes daily

Write down 3 affirmations that feel most powerful for you

Keep a reading list that you update regularly

Find a creative outlet and indulge in it at least 1-3 times weekly

[sahturndays]

Dark Feminine Affirmations

My rage is sacred, my sadness is beautiful. love that I am able to express my emotions.

I don’t repress my emotions. I speak my mind and I speak my truth.

I am in control of my subconscious mind and I use this power to attract greatness.

I don’t need to chase because I know that the Universe will bring my manifestations to me immediately.

My body is a temple I nurture always, my body is beautiful.