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saintvitusdancexd · 2 years

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Christian borle quotes

“Why does every leading man have to be barrel chested and have a chin, isnt there room for the chinless men”

“Oh. He’s praying”

“Ai ai! Oompa-loompa-loo ca ca cao cao oompa-loompa want it now now now Ai ai ai ai! oompa-loompa wanna chew chew chew”

“Towards the boobs”

“Bobby canavale and I hugged in a way which suggested that we both dated Sutton foster”

Interviewer: what’s a sweet treat that you cannot resist? “Kristin Chenoweth?”

“I have been using it in real life and let me tell you the bend and snap works very well”

“Drinking :)”

“You weren’t just rude to these nice people you were rude to me”

“I saw the elephant man too early in my life”

“I was president and co-founder of the Ed grimley club”

“She was really discovering a whole new world in her bonnet”

“The rock star of 1595”

*talking about a conversation he had with the casting person for legally blonde* “she told me Your emmet isn’t handsome, to which I thought oh that’s great :(, and he said, and I told her, that’s the point🙄”

“That’s not water”

“She was that wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu Hawaiian honey of mine When I saw her in the hut She was cracking coconuts With a crazy kind of rhythm double-time I'm gonna build a little wicky wacky ticky tacky Sugar shacky love nest out of pine For that wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu wicky wacky hula hula honka wonka Honolulu Hawaiian honey of mine”

“God how the young- your smoking pot now aren’t you”

“Just basically thrust everything that has been given to me by nature in their faces for like three minutes straight”

Interviewer: how do you not fall in love with Andrew Rannels? “You just do, that’s the easy part, that’s the best part”

“I vote we use the cock sock to keep the white wine cold”

“BOOK NOOK”

Interviewer: what’s your spirit animal? “This is a two part answer, first is, it would be a toad. The second is, a rabid coyote”

“Half of my work is just turning around and shaking what the good lord gave me”

“He was a Tony nominee which I was before I won a tony”

“ I almost liked you in that last scene way to go”

“ im going to start with a slight loofa, im going to Segway maybe have myself a glass of champagne, I’ll do a very light foundation that you won’t be able to see the whole point is that it doesn’t look like im wearing makeup, I’ll probably drag a flat iron through my hair, i think im going to wear two different undershirts, one for luck and one for sweat, I’ll then get into my suit, then get out of my suit so that I can eat, i don’t wanna spill anything on it, pick a tie, then double think the tie, then triple think the tie then go with my original tie, put on my shoes and walk out the door, simple”

Interviewer: maybe the leather pants “no I pretty much enjoy them too”

“@naightyjack-a-nape it dost confound to think such a knavish iron-witted dog-ape like Christian borle is popular with anyone but the whores and groundlings”

“Booze”

“I don’t find it awkward changing pants I do it every day”

Interviewer: I thought you shaved your head for this role “ I sure did” so then why do you have hair there? “Just shut up”

“Seriously I just urinated all over my pants and this couch”

“I’m learning how his hips move”

Interviewer: what does it look like when your trying to resist it “well that’s how I lost my hair”

“You couldn’t hate me, I’m, im too lovable”

“Whizzer a supposed to always be here, making dinner, set to screw, that’s what pretty boys should do”

“Shalom from hell”

“Those two tigers who ended up eating Siegfried and Roy were talented too”

“Or I could just gouge my own eyes out”

“The world is better with you in it, just not my world”

“And for your information, homophobe, that critic wasnt in your pocket, he was having sex with your father”

“I felt like a little boy, in an arena of men and women”

“I love you, as much as I am able, considering wealthy, considering your poor”

“IS MY GIRL GORGEOUS”

“Then he caught a chicken disease, called cockodoodleitis”

“Green eggs and ham, green eggs and fuckin ham”

“I like to look at tall men in mesh shorts”

“You wake up one morning with hair on your balls, and suddenly you think I don’t exist”

“I haven’t worn deodorant in a decade”

“It’s just a bit of windy”

“Other shin”

“Cock sock talk with jack Davenport”

Who’s dick is in the microwave, is that what we’re playing already?”

“Less Karen’s parents, more gay sex”

“I bet your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but I’m not interested”

“It helps that in real life I am just a raging narcissist”

#christian borle #quotes #funny #musical theatre

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