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the receptionist was so scandalized when i told her my male cat was named daffodil. “but that’s a flower” she kept saying “why would you name a boy after a flower” like lady…..it’s a cat…..

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When my frontal lobe fully develops at age 27 then it’s over for everyone

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why are birds so cursed

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when u cut a bad person out of ur life

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please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future. 

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you still have so many years to meet so many people you never knew you could love so much

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SO ENGLISH ISN’T MY MOM’S FIRST LANGUAGE AND TODAY THERE WAS A SLUG ON THE STEPS AND

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thanks nhs

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Bats are basically sky puppies.

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on the other hand i can bullshit the ATWS (aesthetic tumblr writing style) so easily because i spent years stuck in that phase thinking my writing was the shit lmaoo i am weirdly fond of it it’s my tacky ass roots…. literally send me any phrase and i’ll rewrite it

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me, as a kid: i can’t wait til i’m an adult so i can stay up late EVERY NIGHT

me, as an adult, crawling into bed at 6:30 pm: oh thank god

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i cant believe americans on tv really say rock paper scissors like???? its paper scissors rock omg do u irl americans actually say rock paper scissors????

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*opens photobooth to take selfie*

“maybe some other time”

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Zodiac - Part II

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Best sites to kill time on

Been bored after school a lot nowadays so made a list of my most used sites. Am I missing any?

** DISCLAIMER I’m not responsible for late homework assignments, sleep deprivation, missed deadlines because of this list**

• Commaful - really addicting short stories and poetry

• The Oatmeal - funny web comics

• Find The Invisible Cow - watch the audio for this one….

• The Onion - fake news that’s actually hilarious

• Pornhub - not gonna link it. self explanatory.

• Useless Website Generator - literally does what its name says

• Best of Reddit - warning extremely addicting stuff here

• Funny Or Die - watching will ferrell as george bush never gets old

• Cyanide & Happiness - hilarious comics

• Rich Kids On Instagram - this makes me cry a little

• One Tiny Hand - they literally make hands tiny. it’s so great

And there it is……remember. With great power comes great responsibility

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IMPORTANT NEW DISCOVERY

HE’S PERFECT

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Sleep is literally the most pleasurable thing ever why do I deprive myself of it lmao