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salmonball · 1 year ago

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— [♡] ; Wish You Were Sober

FWB! Gojo x Reader

You and Satoru weren't interested in relationships. After a change in your dynamic, you start to question that.

includes: afab!reader, drinking, smoking, swearing, sfw content, hurt/comfort

wc: 5.4k

(a/n: the guy I wrote this about is in rehab and wants to reconnect and all of it is bringing back memories. so cope with me <3)

Satoru was attractive, to say the least. He just couldn't help it and on top of the confidence dripping from him, he was a hot topic. He had lines of girls out the door begging for a chance with him. But that wasn't something he was interested in, as a noncommittal person. Something you both had in common.

Your friend group had decided at the end of last semester to share rent for an apartment. This included you, Suguru, Satoru, and Ieiri. It was a nice setup, and although the guys sometimes forgot to clean up after themselves, you all coincided well. Suguru was a nice makeshift therapist, and Ieiri would bond with you over sharing hair ties and disaster date stories.

You were closest with Satoru, though. You guys had spent the majority of your friendship having endless late-night conversations and teasing each other any time you could. When you all moved in, despite having his own room, he frequently came to hang out and sleep over. You never thought anything of it, finding his womanizer persona, frankly, irritating. And you loved how open and real your friendship was. No way you'd ever allow yourself to fall victim to him.

Until that night. You and Ieiri had decided to pregame too hard before the four of you went to a party, so by the time you arrived you were barely processing anything around you. Despite this, you had a solo cup in your hand as you danced in the middle of the sticky basement. You knew Ieiri was next to you chatting up some guy, Suguru had left to smoke upstairs, and Satoru... Where was he? Probably finding his conquest for the night.

To compensate for the noise complaints you guys had given him, he'd been going to the dorms of the girls he fucked instead of bringing them home. Which you were thankful for since your rooms were right next to each other, with Ieiri and Suguru's across. Sometimes you wondered if the girls were faking it to be that loud, but you really didn't wanna ask for details.

Cringing at the thought, you quickly down your cup and interrupt Ieiri's conversation to ask if she wanted another drink. She smiles at you, yelling a "yeah, thanks" before you start moving through the crowd to grab them from the frat bartender. As it comes into view, you notice Satoru leaning against the counter, talking animatedly with a girl. You know best not to get in between that, opting to casually talk with the bartender while he makes your jungle juice.

Despite trying to be subtle about your presence, Satoru notices you and sends a blinding smile your way. He quickly excuses himself from the girl to come your way, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. You shake him off with a scrunched nose, not in the mood to feel his sweaty body against yours.

"Hey Y/N/N, you sure you should have that?" He asks, nodding to the cups being handed to you, his speech a bit slurred. "Don't want you to black out, now."

"I'm good, Toru. Go back to what you were doing," you say, flashing a smile at the bartender before moving to head back to Ieiri. You weren't sure you were convincing him or yourself.

"So mean," Satoru pouts at you jokingly. "But fine. I'll keep an eye on you, though."

You roll your eyes, attempting to flip him off. This gets some of your drink on you and you huff, stalking off.

Turns out, he was right to be worried. You're attempting to dance but your head keeps hurting, causing you to stumble into the people around you. Ieiri doesn't seem to notice, not that you'd want to bother her. It seems like her conversation with that guy was going well and you know she's been on a dry spell. You decide to get her attention briefly by gesturing over the guy's shoulder and she nods in acknowledgement.

You nod back, making your way outside to get some fresh air and possibly throw up. You clumsily manage to sit on the porch around some other drunkards, taking in the sight in front of you. The people who were leaving didn't seem in any better state than you and that makes you smile a bit. Someone next to you nudges you, offering their vape to you.

"Looks like you need it," the guy offering gives you a once over.

Wow, what a compliment. You begrudgingly grab it, taking a hit before handing it back. That's when you realize it was banana something something coffee cake extravaganza and the taste is so putrid you actually gag.

"Dude," you manage to cough out. "Get a new fucking flavor."

He laughs, patting your back comfortingly. "You're not the first person—"

"Y/N/N," you look up and see Satoru towering over you. He almost looks relieved to see you, you think. You can't tell anymore. "Hey, you okay? Do you need to go home?"

"I'm good," you say between pants. "I'm so chillin' right now."

"Yeah, I'm taking you home," Satoru looks over at the guy with you and nods at him. "I got her."

You don't process what he says back and it seems like he left. Minutes pass before Satoru walks you to an Uber. The ride home is mostly silent before you realize something and speak up.

"Wait, what happened to that girl you were talking to?"

"I'll live," he brushes you off nonchalantly. "Besides, I needed to take care of you."

"Thanks, dad," you roll your eyes, shoving him.

"There we go, looks like you're sobering up. Just rest for now, okay? We're almost home."

Once you arrive, he helps you to your bed and brings you makeup wipes, at your request. Then, he brings you a change of clothes from his closet. You liked somewhat planning your outfits for the week and he knew he didn't wanna mess that up for you. You both change in your respective rooms before he comes back with two waters and settles into your bed.

"Hey, who said you could be here?" You ask after you have gotten the bottle half empty. Despite this, you lay down to cuddle into him. He welcomes the intrusion, wrapping his arm around you and adjusting the blanket to cover you.

"Shut up, you like having me in your bed," he teases, looking down at your head on his chest.

"In your dreams," you deadpan, tilting your head up at him. "But thank you, uhm, for looking after me."

"Of course, princess."

"Don't call me that."

"Yes, ma'am," he mock salutes with his free hand and you laugh, rolling your eyes.

When you meet his gaze again, he's already staring at you in a way that makes you want to shrink into yourself. You break the contact for a moment before looking back at him, an unreadable look on his face.

"What?" You scoff.

His free hand is now moving to run through your hair, untangling it a bit. "You're really pretty," he hums as he starts playing with specific strands near your face and you're too scared to breathe. He thinks you're pretty right now? No makeup, face flushed from alcohol, your hair a mess from the humidity of the basement you guys just came out of, wearing his baggy clothes. The list goes on.

"Damn, the alc got to you too, huh?" You laugh again, albeit kind of nervously. Was he really drunk enough to use his flirting tactics on you?

"Yeah, but I've always thought you were pretty. Don't act like it's a new discovery," it's his turn to roll his eyes. "You know it, too."

"Okay, but not like this," you gesture down at yourself. "And definitely not from you."

"Let me prove I mean it," he murmurs and then came one of the biggest mistakes of your college career.

He kissed you. You kissed back.

When the realization came to you, you quickly pushed him back, mouth agape. "What. The. Fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What are you doing?!"

"I don't know!" He exclaims, brushing his fingers across his lips. "It just... happened. I don't know."

"Seriously, Toru. I literally just told you about how I felt like all my 'guy friends' secretly wanna fuck me and now you wanna prove me right?!" You fall back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I'm not—we can't. You're not gonna be one of them."

"Hey, wait. You can still talk about that shit with me, y'know?" He turns on his side to look at you, but you can't return the gesture. "We both have rosters, nothing has to change."

"What are you saying?"

"I wanted to kiss you. I know that. And I also know that I genuinely like spending time with you. Why not... have both?"

"You're fucked," you scoff.

"You don't have feelings for me, right?" He asks, and you shake your head at him. Of course not, you've never even seen him as an option. "And I don't have any for you. But I already fucked up. It's like... transactional. Cause I know I'm gonna wanna kiss you again, and we could do that. But still be the way we are."

"So you wanna be friends with benefits?"

"Do you like the idea?" It comes out cautiously.

You hesitate in coming up with an answer. "Can't we just pretend it didn't happen?"

✧˖*°࿐

So you guys tried. Again, you've never seen Satoru in that way before. But after that night, which both of you seemed to remember in the morning, things changed. You caught yourself staring at him more and when you guys hung out, there was nothing but tension. You tried to cuddle with him while you guys played Minecraft, but the proximity was too much and you ended up kissing again. And then some.

After you were both left naked and panting in his bed, he broke the silence. "So is that a yes?" He didn't have to say what he was referring to.

"Shut up."

And so it began. Your sleepovers became steamier and in the quiet moments, you would kiss through hushed laughter. Although you would rather drink 10 bottles of Pink Whitney than admit it, he was ranked number one on your roster. If he was actually participating, that is. You knew nothing would ever come out of this and that was the whole point of your situation. But between smoke breaks on the fire escape and him taking you to his hometown for break, you knew you were fucked.

It was actually in his hometown when you first felt it. Thanksgiving break, he'd informed you that his family was on a trip without him and asked you to come visit. Your family wasn't big on the holiday, so you did. He lived in the middle of nowhere so the trip was pretty long and boring, filled with plain fields.

That night, his friends were having a bonfire and he wanted to take you. He drove, so you knew he wouldn't be drinking. The music plays softly on the radio and you stare out the window. For some reason on the way over you couldn't help but feel nervous. You wanted his friends to like you, you wanted everyone you met to like you, but this felt different. It feels like—

"You're Satoru's girlfriend?" One of his friends had already come to greet you in the driveway, extending a hand. "I'm Nanami, by the way." Satoru quickly smacked it away, rolling his eyes.

"Ignore this idiot, Y/N/N," he comes to stand next to you, gesturing dramatically. You try not to concentrate on the fact that he didn't correct Nanami.

"Well, it'd be a shame if you are. You're too pretty for him," Nanami completely disregards him to focus on you.

You laugh at that, hiding your mouth behind a hand. It was refreshing to see the way Satoru interacted with his friends, you only ever saw how he and Suguru were. "Thank you, I wouldn't be caught dead next to him if I wasn't forced."

"Hey!" Satoru gawks at the two of you teaming up against him, crossing his arms childishly. "Fuck you both, then."

"Trust me, man. I don't want to," Nanami eyes him up and down in disgust.

The three (well, two) of you die of laughter while you walk over to the fire pit. You met everyone there, finding ones you could talk to easier than others. And of course, there were multiple comments on the status of your relationship, all of them along the lines of the first one. You found yourself easing into their dynamic and even making conversation unprompted by Satoru. You try not to get attached but you can't help but feel like you'd wanna come back.

The drinks arrived in the form of a man named Sukuna, who was quick to yell at everyone to "get off your asses and help me". It was kind of intimidating and you walked over to help along with several others. You decide to grab something simple (two bottles of Barcardi), worried about messing up your nails with the heavy boxes. Once the drinks were set on one of those outdoor folding tables, he turned to you directly.

"Thanks, beautiful. Who'd you come with?" He asked, opening a box to hand you a seltzer.

You take it gratefully, clinking cans with him. "I came with Satoru."

Sukuna scoffed, disgust flashing over his face. Compared to everyone else's reaction, his almost felt real. "Can't believe he actually brought a girl home. And she's way out of his league."

Laughing with a hint of unease, you nod. "I've been told."

"Hey, when he fucks it up you can cry on my shoulder," he offers, holding his can up at you.

You're not sure what to think of that so you just nod, thanking him for the drink before walking back to the pit. Looking around, you find there's nowhere left to sit. Satoru notices, giving you a look as he pats his lap. You try not to blush when you sit in his lap horizontally. How were you going to fight the dating allegations like this? You peek to see if anyone is looking, but everyone's in their own world.

The guys decided to start acting like guys and throw an excessive amount of wood into the fire, making it crackle and roar. The embers spit out at you way harsher, and you flinch away.

Satoru takes off his Carhartt jacket, putting it over you as his arms wrap around you. One around your shoulder and one on your thigh. Successfully comforted, you lay your head in the crook of his neck. "Thank you."

"Wouldn't want you to go up in flames," he smiles at you. Then he leans down so your conversation becomes more private. "Try not to talk to Sukuna too much, he's an asshole. He's only here because he invited himself."

"He seemed nice enough."

A scoff is heard above you as Satoru wraps his arms around you tighter. "Only cause you're a girl. Watch the way he talks to the rest of us."

You do from the corner of your eye, sipping your drink casually. You loved the familial energy of everyone at the bonfire so far, but you could tell Sukuna's presence had a negative effect on the people near him. They didn't lean in to talk to him, more like leaned away. You hear him obnoxiously ask, "so where the bitches at?" which makes a few of the guys around him visibly cringe as he barks out a laugh, punching one of them hard in the arm.

"Wow," you giggle.

"I know," Satoru rolls his eyes. "So besides him, what do you think of everyone else?"

"Everyone's so kind. It feels really homey, you know?" You gush. "But I really like um... Choso? And Nanami."

"Good choices," he hums. "Nanami is my best friend, besides Suguru."

"Hey, how come you didn't invite him and Ieiri?" Your gaze moves to the fire, which has calmed down a bit.

"I didn't think about it. Wanted it to be just us," he shrugged. "And I told you I'd take you stargazing for real, right? Out here there's not a lot of light pollution." He points up at the sky.

You follow his finger and gasp, pulling your head away from his shoulder. You'd been in the city or along the border of one your whole life. You've never seen this many stars before and you can't stop staring. The night sky wasn't just littered with stars, it was covered in them. How had you not looked up sooner? "Holy shit, it's beautiful."

"Yeah, really is," you hear Satoru murmur. You take a break from craning your neck to gaze at the stratosphere to instead look down at him and notice he's already looking at you. His expression is unreadable as usual, but you don't care because he's... beautiful. His eyes are reflecting yours, with speckles of stars in them and it's so much easier to see the dots because of how bright they are. His eyes look angelic, so calm and fond.

There, holding an unwavering gaze with Satoru under the stars, you knew you were fucked.

It could only go downhill from there.

✧˖*°࿐

A few days after you get back home, you're surprised when Satoru asks to visit you. "It's only fair," he claims over the phone.

You tell him that there's not much to do where you live, but he insists. During the day time he gets to meet some of your family, but you know they wouldn't let him stay over. At night, you show him your driving skills before he promptly switches seats with you, fearing for his life.

In the passenger seat, you give him instructions on how to get to your favorite parking lot. It looks over the water and at night, you can see the lights of the town across the way. He backs into the lot so you can open the trunk and sit.

"You know, compared to my sky yours isn't too bad," he says passively.

You stare up into the water and sigh. "Yeah, but I'm never gonna forget the stars in your butt fuck middle of nowhere town."

He shoves you and you smile. To distract yourself from your newfound view of him, you look around. In doing so, you start getting paranoid about the shadows surrounding you under the streetlights. He seems to notice and pulls you into his lap to face him.

"Scared? This is supposed to be your territory," he teases.

You push your hands against his chest, huffing. "The trees look like... people, like that one." You angle your body as much as you can to point to an area down the street.

He looks over and nods, smirking as he turns to you. "Yeah, it kinda looks like the lady from that horror movie we watched."

"Stop," you whine as he starts repeating one of her phrases. You curl impossibly closer to him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck in fear.

You feel his chest rumble with laughter as he rubs your back. "Hey, hey. I was joking, relax. She's not real and if she was, I got you."

You grumpily pull away to look at him, swatting at him. You're about to call him a slur of insults before your breath hitches. It was the same feeling you got at the bonfire and you can't help but savor it for a moment. The way he looks at you, or maybe looks in general makes your heart stutter.

You try to shake the feeling as you lean on him again, unable to hold eye contact anymore. You hate everything.

✧˖*°࿐

Once break was over and you were back in school, Satoru's list started back up again. Yours did, too. But no matter how much time you spend with however many other guys, nothing could recreate the spark you have with him. And to make everything worse, Satoru would shit on every guy you ever brought up. It's like he knew they couldn't compare.

Every weekend he wouldn't come home and you'd have to cry yourself to sleep, staying up to listen for a door click. It was pathetic. You felt pathetic. You knew the deal when you started this whole thing and it wasn't even your idea. In fact, this is something you never even wanted. So why were you the one catching feelings? It felt like a cruel and unusual punishment.

One of the times you actually heard the door click, you perked up in your bed. You sat up fully when you heard the knock on your door. You didn't even get to say anything before Satoru was stumbling in, clearly drunk.

"Toru? What's wrong?"

"It's so fucked, everything's so fucked," he mumbled, walking over to strip next to your closet, knowing you hated outside clothes on your bed. In his boxers, he climbed into bed with you, wrapping his arms around your torso.

"I thought you'd be gone tonight," you say, running a hand through his hair.

"I was supposed to be, but," he groans, huffing into your skin. "The girl told me she liked me and... I dunno. She knows the deal but she wants to go on a date."

Your heart pangs at that, glad the room was so dark he wouldn't be able to see how your face fell. You feel bad for her because you'd be in the same position if he continued to drive you crazy. Honestly, good on her for holding on for so long. And you feel bad for yourself because... well, it's horrible to hear about other girls from the guy you like. "So what'd you say?"

"I told her I dunno. Cause I don't. She's nice and all, but relationships scare me," he lifts his head to search around your drawers for a shot and takes it, sighing. "What'd—do I do?"

Biting a lip to try to hold back the tears forming in the corners of your eyes, you try to keep your voice steady as you speak. "Well, if you like her enough you should do it. I mean, you've spent enough time enjoying your youth. I'm not saying you should get married, but maybe it's time to settle down and stop fighting demons or whatever the fuck."

He snorts at that, shaking his head while you take the moment to subtly wipe your tears. "I dunno if I like her, dunno what that feels like."

"You've never had a crush before?"

"Of course I have, but 's different for every person I like. I dunno what it feels like for her."

You nod but realize he can't see you so you hum. "It's really up to you, maybe you could make a pros and cons list—" he interrupts you with another huff of laughter and you smack him lightly. "I'm serious if you're this confused. And then maybe the date could help you figure out if you like her or not. A date isn't a proposal, it's not even a relationship. The whole point is experimentation."

"Okay," he leans his head on you and you can feel how warm his face is. From the alcohol or the topic of conversation, you're not sure. "You're so smart Y/N/N, you know that? And pretty, and kind, and funny, and—"

"Are we talking about me or the girl?" You shut him up, frowning.

"Maybe that's what this is," he responds. "I like you 'nd not her. That's why I'm confused."

You freeze up, pausing your hand in his hair. You wonder if he can feel your heart pounding from the proximity and look down at him, the tears starting up again. "Y-You don't know what you're saying, Toru. You're drunk."

"Drunk words are sober words."

"You're such a fucking idiot," you scoff, wiping at your tears again. "Go to sleep, you can talk to me about her tomorrow. If you even remember."

"I try to commit everything we do to mem'ry so I can think about it when I miss you."

"Go to sleep," you state firmly. He can't play around with you right now, not like this. It hurts too much and the thoughts are swirling in your head. How dare he do this to you? And what happened to "no feelings"?

He seems to be ahead of you, saying nothing. You wait until his breathing evens out before you start crying freely, your tears rolling onto your pillow. Of all the people you could've fallen for, why him? What did you do to deserve this? In a negative connotation, of course. And what if he goes on that date and they get serious? You couldn't keep your situation with Satoru so you'd have to lose him. And even if your feelings aren't reciprocated (or so you thought), you'd rather be like this with him than not have him at all.

What are you saying? You don't even have him.

With that last heart-wrenching thought, you fall asleep. In the morning, Satoru retells you the story of him and the girl, seemingly forgetting everything past walking through your door. You give him the same advice and the idiot actually makes a pros and cons list on the whiteboard you guys have in the living room for study sessions. Ieiri walks in while he's writing it and raises an eyebrow.

"Is this not a red flag enough to not do it?"

"What? Is that a con to add?" Satoru turns his head to her. You make eye contact with her from the couch, both of you sharing an exasperated look.

"No, dumbass. The fact that you have to draw a Venn diagram to decide if you should go on a date probably means you shouldn't go on it," she crosses her arms.

"Bro, I don't know what I'm doing," Satoru sighs, bringing a hand to his forehead. "I wish she never confessed. I feel like I lead her on or something and I owe her the date."

"Everyone knows you don't do relationships. And if I were her, I'd rather you just turn me down than take me out for a pity dinner. And if I found out about this," she gestures to the board before grabbing a coat off the hangers by the door. "I'd ghost you."

Satoru looks between her and the board, his face falling. "You're right. She doesn't deserve that, especially if I don't like her like that."

"There you go," she coos at him like he's a child and he scowls back. "I'm out, have fun you two. But not too much fun." With that, she's out the door.

Ieiri and Suguru knew about your arrangement, of course. You lived together. But only Ieiri knew about your feelings towards Satoru and as your friend, she was rooting for you. You're glad it didn't show in the way she spoke to him and you're glad to talk to someone about it who knows him. Your other friends told you that you never should've gotten in the predicament in the first place and he was a piece of shit. But you couldn't help it. Sometimes things just happen and you can't just flip a switch to change your feelings. That didn't stop you from trying, but still.

"I'm exhausted and hungry," Satoru huffs as he plops down next to you.

"Aww, was that too much thinking for your small brain?" You mock him and he flicks your forehead. "I bought brownie mix I haven't gotten around to."

He perks up at that, heading to the kitchen to search through the pantry. You follow and open the cupboards for a bowl and a whisk. You wait for him to grab the box and the rest of the ingredients as you place your items on the counter. He lays them out for you and you add them to the bowl, humming a bit as you do.

He tells Alexa to play the song you were humming and you look at him indignantly. "If you wanted me to shut up, you could've just said so."

"I like your voice, pretty girl. I'm actually encouraging it," he grins at you.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes, adding another ingredient to the bowl.

Satoru comes behind you to circle your waist, resting his head on your shoulder with a mumbled apology for his teasing. There's not much for him to do as you're in charge of the bowl and he was very diligent in being your helper. You can't help but feel like the position is oddly domestic, getting lost in a daydream where you're married, baking together in a bigger kitchen. You didn't notice your hand had stopped on the whisk, so Satoru puts his over yours to guide it.

"What're you thinking about?"

He's right, what are you thinking about? What happened to the noncommittal oath you had at the beginning of the year? "Uh, nothing important."

"Everything about you is important to me. Tell me," he turns his head to kiss your neck, making you shiver.

"Don't say sappy shit like that, Toru," you scold him lightly when you come to your senses. "And really, it's nothing." He sucks on your skin in warning and you hiss. "Stop that, you could leave a mark."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you're gonna scare away my potential suitors."

At that, he sucks down harder and your free hand goes to grab his hair. "Toru," you say lowly, but he doesn't stop, moving his hands to trap you against the counter. You finally pull him off of you and turn around between his arms, putting your hand on his chest. "What is up with you?"

There's a pregnant pause where you both just stare at each other, your gaze harsher than his.

"I get jealous when you talk about the guys on your roster," he admits quietly, not looking at you.

"I get jealous when you talk about the girls on your roster. Especially today's," you murmur back and his eyes snap to yours. "So what does that mean?"

"It means we're stupid," he smiles as he leans down to kiss you and you could cry from happiness. It felt real and full of emotion, like his lips were meant for yours. Everything you've held back was put into the kiss. He only pulls away so you can catch your breath. "I realized that when I imagine getting asked out by you, I don't need the list. It's all pros."

"I can not believe you're confessing to me like this," you scoff in disbelief, a smile playing on your lips. "You really are an idiot."

"Will you let this idiot take you out on a date?"

You hum, pretending to think as you press a finger to your bottom lip. "Well, you might not need a list but I definitely do."

His mouth falls open, clearly offended, before he smirks and slides the things on the counter to the side. He lifts you onto it in its place and you squeal at the change in position. He rests his hands on your hips as he drops his head to your ear. "Then let me convince you."

✧˖*°࿐

When Ieiri got home, she was not happy to find that you guys did, in fact, have too much fun ("on the counter?!"). Suguru gets home a bit after and you all sit in the living room to eat takeout together.

“So, this is an actual thing now?” Ieiri uses her chopsticks to point at the both of you.

“Yeah,” you try not to smile as Satoru leans in to briefly kiss your cheek.

“Fucking finally,” Suguru huffs from the recliner. “I tried to tell Sato that the way he talks about you is not normal.”

“You talk about me?” Your eyes flicker to Satoru’s and he seems shy all of a sudden, using his food as an excuse to avert your gaze. His hair falls over his face as he eats quietly.

“Wouldn't stop, actually. I told him he liked you and he just told me it wasn't like that but, guess who’s always right?” Suguru obnoxiously jabs a thumb at himself. “This guy.”

“Tell me about it,” Ieiri leans forward to giggle, covering her mouth as she swallows her food. “Y/N wouldn't shut up abo—”

“Okay! Can we all just eat in peace?” You interrupt, face flushing from your friends’ analysis of you and Satoru.

“Wait, wait. I wanna hear about this,” Satoru presses into you again, sending you a sly smile as he throws his arm over your shoulder.

It was gonna be a long night.

— [♡] ;

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo fluff #satoru x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #jjk gojo

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salmonball · 1 year ago

Text

— [♡] ; Brand New Eyes

Drummer! Choso x Reader

Choso makes eye contact with you while performing at an underground gig. He also makes eye contact with the guy harassing you.

includes: sexual harassment/assault, afab! reader, swearing, drinking, smoking

wc: 2.5k

(a/n: not a song fic but if you'd like to listen to a song for this fic, I recommend that's what you get - paramore)

It's a Friday night, your friends are busy and you're bored. One of them had mentioned this thing that they did at a nearby college of arts, where multiple "underground" artists would perform for a low entry fee of $10. While checking the organizer's socials to see if there was a show tonight, you are happily surprised to see that there is. You figure if they don't take you at the door you can just aimlessly wander in the city until something else piques your interest.

So it's set. Albeit a bit dangerous, you have been followed home from busier places in broad daylight. Keeping these things in mind while you choose your outfit, you wonder if you can compensate for one of your going-out tops with long pants. Or maybe a sweater over a skirt or shorts? Normally you wouldn't think twice about these things before going out, but today you didn't have your girls. You'd have to fend for yourself.

On top of the risks of doing this by yourself, you also felt self-conscious about it. You've always had a bit of an issue with anxiety. Of course, you know people don't care about your presence or what you're doing, but you can't help but feel like you're always being judged.

Music is thumping on your speakers as you get ready in an attempt to hype yourself up before you leave. You've settled on jeans and an off-the-shoulder long-sleeve. When you get to the place you can tuck in the top so it's slightly cropped. You spend some time on your makeup before stuffing your essentials into a purse, double-checking to make sure everything is in there. With a final once-over of yourself in the mirror, you're off.

You try to romanticize the night on your train ride over, but the nerves start creeping in. The glances made your way by other passengers could be them liking what they see or them thinking you're weird and sensing your loneliness. The sounds in your headphones take the edge off a bit but you find yourself anxiously playing with your sleeves. Ignoring them in favor of staring out the window can only get you so far.

A 10-minute walk from the station brings you to the "venue", which is actually an apartment with a large section dedicated to the event. The bouncer takes your cash with a nod and you waddle in with everyone else. Inside, the crowd is formed around a small platform for the performers with some wandering bodies. You're kind of impressed by the makeshift stage and the theatrics in general, smiling a bit to yourself at this hobbit hole.

Noticing how packed it is you decide to down whatever they were serving before you searched for an area to watch the show. There's an opening on the right side closer to the wall and you let out mumbled apologies as you make your way over. Finally settled, you try to match the energy of the people around you but struggle to find your groove.

That is until you hear the opening notes of your favorite Paramore song. Your eyes widen in shock as they flicker over to the band playing it, Curse X. You didn't know that the bands would be playing covers and you're pleasantly surprised. Finally, with the alcohol seeping into you and one of your comfort songs playing, you start to dance. Nothing crazy enough to disturb the people around you, but you're doing something-ish.

You're watching the band with more enthusiasm now and this makes you see him. The drummer of the band is so fine it almost makes you blush just being in the crowd. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt over pants you can't really see and his arms flex with his movement. But his face... He's nodding to the beat as he plays and his hair bounces with him, framing the perfection perfectly. He has a few piercings you can't help but be drawn to, wondering how they'd feel in your hands—

You stop your mind right there, trying to go back to enjoying the music. Just as you're about to revert your gaze, the guy looks up from his instrument to meet your eyes and you feel your heart pound in your ears. Time slows as you hold eye contact and you manage to smile. You see him smirk before focusing back on his drumsticks. With his attention off of you, you relax and try having fun again.

This is cut short by an intrusion of someone's hands on your hips. You freeze up, glancing back at the culprit. A drunk frat boy who you could only describe as an "NPC" was already looking down at you in his grip. You try to apologetically maneuver your way out of his arms but he pulls you back against his chest and leans down to whisper in your ear.

"Just enjoy the moment, babe," he says, his breath reeking of something they weren't serving here. "No need to be shy around me."

A look of disgust flashes across your face as your nose scrunches up, which you're glad he can't see. "I'm okay, but thank you." It's your attempt to try to tell him politely.

"C'mon, don't be a pussy," he coaxes, pressing against you further.

Of course this would happen to you the second you stepped out of your comfort zone. If your girls were here, he would've already been told off. You try to be more firm as you attempt to escape his grasp, bringing your hands to rip him off you. "I said I'm good," you turn to him, making sure he can see your hard gaze.

He definitely does not like that but he stays where he is as you turn back to the stage. You try to shake off the nerves but you lost all the confidence you just mustered up. You're not dancing anymore as you glance back up at the cute drummer, whose eyes are already on you with furrowed brows. You don't get a chance to psychoanalyze the look before you're pulled into the creep again, this time much rougher.

One of his hands slides down to grab your ass and your eyes widen as you swat at his hand. "Stop touching me!" You look up at him with your jaw unhinged, breathing heavily. He raises an eyebrow challengingly, his other hand on your arm tightening. You were so aghast at this altercation that you hadn't even noticed that the music had slowed to a stop.

"Hey, get that guy out of here!" A voice on stage calls.

You whip your head around to see that the drummer is off his seat and pointing in your direction. Looking around anxiously, you notice that all eyes as far as you could see were now on you and this stupid weirdo. You shrink into yourself as you try not to make direct eye contact with anyone. Sweat was starting to form under your top and you hoped no one could notice.

There are murmurs going around as the guy is escorted out by several of the show "staff" while he shouts profanities at them. His voice can still be heard down the hall as they kick him to the curb.

"You okay?" The main singer asks into his microphone at you. You give a shaken nod at him before he starts up the music again. Several other people around you try to ask the same thing over the music, along with "what happened?", but you can't look at them. You excuse yourself from their questioning, attempting to find the bathroom and fleeing from your spot in the crowd.

You manage to find it and shut yourself in, walking over to stare at yourself in the mirror. Breathing exercises you've learned over the years help your heart rate settle and you try not to think about the scene you just caused. Obviously, it's not your fault, but you feel embarrassed that the band stopped for you and drew so much attention to you. The whole room stopped partying because of you and you can't help but cringe. But you're not sure if there would've been a better solution.

It felt like hours before you heard a knock on the bathroom door. "I'll be out in a second." You recompose yourself and make sure your hair looks good before you prepare to open the door. Nothing prepared you for the face staring at you as it swung open.

"Hey," the drummer awkwardly smiles at you. "Sorry I, uh, just wanted to check in on you. I saw you run off." His band probably just finished their set. You can't help but look over at him in front of you, sweaty and a bit breathy and... really hot. And nervous. The guy in front of you acted nothing like the one on stage and you were kind of into it.

"Oh, thank you. Yeah, I just got kinda nervous with everyone watching me," you admit, rubbing a hand on your arm before looking up at him again. "You guys were really good though, sorry for interrupting."

"You didn't do anything wrong," he quickly reassures you. "But I'm sorry if it embarrassed you for me to call him out like that. I just... I was kind of watching you for a while and I didn't wanna assume until I knew for sure something was up."

"You were watching me instead of your drums?" You tease. "Maybe I didn't have to mess you guys up if you were already doing it."

He lets out a shocked laugh, bringing a hand to the back of his neck. "If you were at a museum, you wouldn't look at the art?"

"Wow," it was your turn to laugh. "That was so corny."

"Sorry, I don't get to save pretty girls from creeps often. I dunno what to do with myself," he makes a show of awkwardly trying to position his hands in a way to seem cooler. Thankfully, someone trying to use the bathroom interrupts him and you both move out of the way. Squeezing into the narrow hallway, you both laugh as you meet each other's eyes. "Do you wanna get some air? And a water, maybe?"

You take up his offer and he grabs 2 water bottles from the fridge before leading you to the fire escape. He opens the window and dramatically gestures for you to go first. You laugh as you climb out and sit, him following behind you with his jacket in hand. There's a cool breeze flowing through your hair and you try to move it out of your face.

"So, do you perform here a lot? You came out here so casually," you open the water he gave to you and drink, staring out at the night lights.

"Yeah, Gojo loves this place. He says it's the key to our 'rising stardom'," he laughs, and you hang onto the sound. He lights a cigarette and holds it out to you. "He's the lead vocalist. And then there's Geto on bass, Nanami on guitar, and me on drums. I'm Choso, by the way."

"Y/N," you respond, taking a drag and handing it back. Your exhale immediately calms you down, you needed that. The smoke clouds in front of you and you watch it disappear in the wind. "I loved your Paramore cover."

"Yeah, I could tell," he catches his slip-up and decides to just let it be. "I noticed you loosened up the second Nanami started playing." He looks over at you with a fond smile.

"That makes me think you saw me before I saw you," you watch him from the corner of your eye and you think he's almost blushing for a split second.

"I won't take offense to that, Gojo is a handsome man," he smirks and you giggle, holding back on saying that you wanted him instead. "Do you go to school here?"

"No, but I go to Jujutsu U, it's nearby," you explain, trying to make up a compass with your hands as you gesture in the general direction of your school.

"I know what JJU is," he rolls his eyes as he gently puts his hand over yours to stop your weird pointing. "You guys are like the Harvard of Tokyo, nerd."

"Hey!" You laugh in false offense, elbowing him. And just like that, it was like you guys clicked. You spent hours talking outside, the soft hum of the music from inside filling the silence when you ran out of things to say. Choso's cigarettes were long gone when you finally noticed that people were filing out the door and the event had ended. You try not to look disappointed as you get up, the wind hitting you way harder.

You hide a shiver that runs through you while you stand and offer a hand to Choso. He takes it and gets off the ground, pausing as he squeezes your hand. "You're freezing."

"A little bit, I didn't even notice it got so late," you take a peek at the emptying "venue" and then pull out your phone. It was almost midnight and you figured you should head home, too. Before you can open your mouth, warmth surrounds you as Choso places his jacket on your shoulders. You give him a shy smile as you put your arms through the sleeves. "Free Curse X merch? Thanks, I'm gonna sell it for thousands."

He snorts, shaking his head as he takes in your form. He steps closer to you to zip it up, his hands lingering at the top. "More like $1 and like, a coffee."

There's an opening. You look down at his jacket and then up at him before biting your lip. "Um, if the coffee is with you, I'll take it."

He stares at you with wide eyes before looking away, letting go of your zipper. There's a moment of silence before his gaze slowly returns to you. "Are you free next Wednesday?"

You can't help but think he's so cute like this, nervous and shy. Maybe he was telling the truth about not flirting with girls often. It actually does look like he doesn't know what to do with himself. You ignore the pang of jealousy thinking about other girls he might've interacted with before, you don't have a claim on this man yet. "Yeah."

"Then it's a date."

After finding out you came alone, he's insistent on driving you home, or at least coming with you to the station closest to your apartment. He also gives you his number "just in case". You allow him to drive you home, as you're also antsy about going home on your own. If his bandmates cheer him on as you two leave together, he doesn't mention it.

✧˖*°࿐

The next time you're bored on a Friday and your friends are busy, you grab $10 and slide into Choso's passenger seat. He greets you with a kiss, shifting gears before placing his hand on your thigh.

"You ready to watch me play, love?"

"That's all I wanted."

— [♡] ;

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