sanjuno

[sanjuno]

I need non-Canadians to know that everything in this thread is true

[sanjuno]

can someone please tell me what the fuck I just saw

[sanjuno]

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

[sanjuno]

I just think history is neat.

[sanjuno]

I'm looking to see how much influence "Twitter refugees" have actually had on the culture of this site.

**Pease reblog! I want to get the biggest and most varied sample I can!**

[sanjuno]

KAPOW!!!!!

[sanjuno]

I will admit to being honestly, ridiculously tempted.

I want to set Uchiha Obito on Darth Vader specifically for the Looney Toons Shenanigans of Vader trying to kill this obnoxious intangible fuckwad who definitely isn’t a hallucination this time because the asshole spilled like eight drinks on the Death Star console and yelled “OOPS”

[sanjuno]

this is funny

like really, really funny

[sanjuno]

I dont think lbh ever really tried to kill lqg during the 5 years of corpse-zun...but i think it would be hilarious if, because liu qingge is an anomoly who was never meant to fight lbh, who admittedly isnt on binghe's level but hes still pidw's war god.....

Lbh just is incapable of killing lqg. Like some sort of video game glitch, like when you take an item out of its designated area when youre not supposed to and the game cant quite do what you want to, everytime binghe tries to kill lqg some sort of looney tunes-shit happens that save lqg last minute. Like the worlds game engine can let them fight, and Lqg will never be able to beat lbh in a fight, but everytime lbh tries to actually kill the man, he starts falling into xianxia manholes and xianxia anvils start falling a la the beam falling during the skinner incident

[sanjuno]

Vincent is finally here.

[sanjuno]

Part forty-two of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty, forty-one

-

The Turks have arranged everything. Sort of. The charcoal burner's house is long abandoned and remote, not close to any main routes, so it would be private. In the books, both Sephiroth and Angeal are taking part in a classified mission with the Turks, which has been approved by both the Director of the SOLDIER program and the Acting Director of the Turks. It would take someone higher up in the Public Security Department to delve deeper than that, and since the President had already given his seal of approval, there's not much even Heidegger can do about it.

"And Rude is bringing everything we'll need to survive," Reno finishes. "Starting today, your priority is sorting out whatever is going on with you, free of distractions, external stressors and hopefully of further incidents."

Sephiroth still seems to be stuck on the getting his shit together part of the mission and apparently isn't sure whether to be insulted or not.

Angeal clears his throat. "And what are we supposed to… do, exactly?"

"Hell if I know," Reno shrugs and nods at Sephiroth. "Figure you'd sort it out by yourself, with your new spooky… whatever it is you got going on. You seem to have some idea."

"Uh," Sephiroth answers. 

Eloquent.

Angeal runs a hand down his face. Then he laughs. "Okay, I have to admit. I'm impressed. I didn't really think you'd do anything, but - I'm impressed." And more than slightly intimidated by the connections and liberties the Turks have, but that's not exactly new. "How long do we have?"

"Until further notice, or until someone back in Midgar gets antsy," Reno shrugs. "I'm thinking maybe don't worry about time. If you need more, we will arrange some."

Huh. "This is really that important, then?"

Reno gives Sephiroth a look and then looks at Angeal. "Yeah," he says, a deceptively easy answer.

That's… somehow a little disconcerting. Certainly Sephiroth is invaluable to the program and to the company, but this… this is beyond VIP treatment.

"I see," Angeal murmurs and clears his throat.

Sephiroth finally shakes himself loose from his surprise, enough to look first somewhat sheepish - and then intrigued. "So, I can do whatever I want here?"

"Pretty much," Reno agrees, without any care for how alarming the question is. "And if you need something to further your whatever, we'll get it for you."

"Nice. And there will be no other missions if I don't want to do them right now?" Sephiroth asks.

"You can do them or not as you'd like - none of them have higher priority than this, and they can be delegated to other people, if it comes to that."

Sephiroth runs a hand over his chin. "And if I want access to some material that might be to some extent classified?"

Reno narrows his eyes. "Like what?"

"Haven't decided yet," Sephiroth answers flippantly. "But it might come up."

"... Great. We'll review case by case when we come to it," Reno mutters. "Though you know it's a bitch to get stuff shipped here, right? We're on another continent."

"Yes, yes, it's very impressive," Sephiroth says dismissively and thinks about something for a moment. Then he looks at the charcoal burner's house with a discerning eye. "And you'll be staying here too?" he then asks, glazing at Reno. "To watch us?"

Reno shrugs, unapologetic.

Sephiroth eyes him for a moment and then turns back to the house. "Very well. It will do."

"... Awesome," Reno says and motions. "Go, make yourselves comfortable or whatever. I'm going to walk the perimeter and set some traps."

"Mmhmm," Sephiroth answers, already striding back into the house with a proprietor's casual confidence, and Angeal can just imagine the furniture soon to be rearranged inside.

He hesitates before following and looks at Reno. "What is this really about? It's not just that Sephiroth lost control, is it?"

Reno considers him. "Well, duh, no," he says. "It's the stuff he's been saying in between."

And the abilities he seems to be on the verge of developing. "What's the official view on what's happening to Sephiroth?" What are they expecting from him?

"There isn't one," Reno says and arches his brows meaningfully, and then turns to go.

Angeal's face tightens, and he knows he probably doesn't understand the implications… but then maybe he does. All this effort and all the stuff that's been going on… whatever it is, the company is looking forward to benefiting from it greatly. And they want no one messing with what is happening before they do.

Angeal thinks of the moment Sephiroth communed with the old tree the day before, and for a moment he really wishes it was Genesis here with him instead. Genesis would actually know how to handle all of this. Angeal isn't even sure if he can ask Genesis about this, if he can talk to him about this!

Never mind the fact that Genesis probably has his hands full with whatever is happening back at Shinra Building… the aftermath of Sephiroth's incident and whatever Professor Hojo was doing…

Angeal turns to head inside.

… Where Sephiroth has begun poking around the house, and, of course, is already moving furniture around.

"I see you are all for this," Angeal comments.

"I'll take all the extra time I can get," Sephiroth mutters while carrying a little table to the middle of the main room. "Though I am not exactly happy about being under Turk supervision, I'll take it over the alternative."

Angeal hums, looking around and then deciding that Sephiroth probably doesn't need - or want - his help in decorating. "What's the alternative?"

Sephiroth grimaces and goes to move a bookshelf.

Okay then. Ominous. Angeal sighs and sets the Buster Sword down to lean against the wall near the door, right beside Masamune. "You know they expect something to come from this. For you to… to make it worth their while."

Sephiroth half laughs and half scoffs. "I just bet they do," he agrees and picks up somewhat dusty cushions and considers them with a frown.

Angeal folds his arms. "Are you going to?" he then asks, worried.

Sephiroth pauses and looks away, dropping the cushions by the table in the middle. "No," he says finally. "I don't imagine I will. Regardless," he shakes his head. "This is the next best thing to a full-on seclusion, and I am damn well going to make the most of it."

Angeal doesn't know what that means, but it doesn't matter. "Okay," he says and draws a breath. "Guess we'll… just stay here for the time being, then."

Sephiroth hums in agreement. "Guess so. Does it bother you?"

"No more than anything else around Wutai," Angeal admits and looks up at the ceiling. "We were already looking forward to a prolonged stay in someone's abandoned home. This place is honestly an improvement."

Sephiroth relaxes a little. "Yeah. And hey, the people here weren't chased out or killed by Shinra. That's something."

Angeal looks at him curiously. "How do you know that?"

"The original owner left a scrap piece of letter behind. Apparently they were invited to the capital," Sephiroth says.

… Sephiroth reads the Wutai language? Huh. Angeal didn't know that.

"I guess that's good to know," he says and then sighs. "Okay, so. This… thing you're doing. Your energy alignment stuff. Is there anything I can do to help? What do you need?"

Sephiroth hesitates between moving some jars around and looks at him. "I need a proper cleared training area," he says and offers him a wry smile. "At least as big as the training room back at Shinra Building."

"I can do that, yeah," Angeal says. "Anything else?"

Sephiroth thinks about it for a moment before setting the jars back down. "I'll let you know."

Angeal nods and gets to it. There's not much he can do when Sephiroth refuses to trust him, but… he'd do what he could.

Hopefully by the end of it, it would be enough.

-

Time for a training montage.

[sanjuno]

Here's a comic I made for Halloween! Which was yesterday, oops

[sanjuno]

Part forty-one of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty

-

"... So there's Natural Materia that grows and evolves and eventually spawns an offspring of exactly identical Materia that can then make the exact same journey - and then there's Artificial Materia that… doesn't?"

"You're really asking the wrong person - Genesis is the expert," Angeal sighs, rubbing at his forehead. "But yeah, that's basically it? Artificial Materia can still level up a bit, but it doesn't evolve or make a copy of itself."

Sephiroth nods, fascinated. "So Natural Materia basically does mitosis?"

"I… don't know what that is?" Angeal says, sounding lost.

They're walking through the forest, in between random encounters - following a wide old footpath towards the charcoal burner's house. The path has the signs of wheeled traffic where the dirt has really been compacted, but it was a while ago, and grasses have started taking real estate on the path. Still, it makes for easier walking than the wild, untamed forest.

"It's when something - a cell - splits into two identical copies," Sephiroth explains.

"Ah, then no, that's not exactly it - the offspring Materia is unleveled and undeveloped. It has to be matured anew," Angeal clarifies.

"Still. Eventually the offspring Materia becomes identical to the parent. It's asexual reproduction, at least," Sephiroth muses, fascinated by how organic it all sounds. Like Materia is actually a breed of organism doing what all living things do - eat and reproduce. And artificial versions are basically infertile! "I bet Artificial Materia still needs to be somehow seeded by the natural sort."

Angeal shrugs, helpless. "You'd really have better luck asking Genesis. Maybe you should send him a message, asking about it."

"Maybe I will," Sephiroth says, determined, and then looks up. "Heads up - bugs."

One random encounter later, they're back to walking.

"You know, you could actually just try using your Materia," Angeal comments. "Might give you some insight on how it works. Or do you not remember how?"

Sephiroth waves a hand. "You just push energy through the thing, it's not that hard."

"Then why not do it?"

Because MP is Qi, kinda, and using Materia basically burns it away. Or, well, transforms it. Part of it goes into the Materia being used, aiding its maturation, and the rest of it is transformed into whatever spell the Materia is for. It's very easy to use and very powerful and incredibly energy inefficient. And since Sephiroth still isn't sure whether he wants to take in ambient energy in the way of the locals, he isn't sure his MP actually replenishes? And sure, he could take an Ether, a potion that replenishes MP - but that's basically like drinking raw Qi, and the very idea is a bit alarming.

There's just a scary level of energy transference going on in this place, and his core is unstable enough!

Also Sephiroth would rather figure out how to consume the Materia itself, like you'd consume spirit stones - except he really doesn't need any extra Qi at this point.

"Maybe later," Sephiroth says and looks ahead for a distraction. "Oh, hey, is that the house?"

Angeal gives him a look, amused, but lets it go and looks ahead too.

The charcoal burner's house is built near to the side of a mountain wall, with three enormous charcoal kilns half carved into the stone of the mountain. The house is more of a homestead, with a large area cleared and fenced, with the house itself in the middle, a couple of storage huts, a stall, and a big shelter for wood.

It's a bit rundown, though. One of the storage houses has its rooftop caved in, and there's long grass growing everywhere. The charcoal kilns look not just cold, but like something had been nesting in one of them.

"That's strange," Angeal murmurs warily, looking around. "It… doesn't look like anyone's been living here for a good long while."

"Hmm," Sephiroth hums, crouching down to examine a footprint in the dirt. It's fresh. "Someone has been here very recently, though." Someone in modern footwear - with treaded soles. Not that he knows what kind of footwear the people of Wutai favour, but, still…

Angeal looks at the footprint and hums. "Be on your guard. There's something weird going on in here."

Cautious, they examine the place and find no signs of any monster attacks. What they do find is more footprints, all by the same set of shoes, going strong in the place and by all appearances checking out the buildings.

"Looking for something, maybe?" Angeal murmurs as they consider the footprints.

"Hmm. I don't see any signs of monsters," Sephiroth comments. "Didn't the mission files say the place was already attacked? Maybe we're in the wrong place."

"Maybe…"

While Angeal checks their mission files and coordinates to confirm they're actually in the right house, Sephiroth tries to figure out why it was abandoned in the first place. It wasn't sudden, that he can tell - whoever lived here had the time to pack up. Everything that's left was put away very neatly, too.

"Well, this is the right place," Angeal says, following him inside. "Either they got the coordinates wrong - or the intelligence."

"I guess it could be a trap," Sephiroth muses, poking around the charcoal burner's old office in search of any paperwork. "If this is really where an informant once lived, maybe that informant turned into a double agent and set a trap."

"You really think so?" Angeal asks, sounding more interested than alarmed.

"Not really," Sephiroth shrugs and picks up a crumpled piece of paper, someone's attempt at a letter that had gotten ruined by an ink smear. Gently he spreads it out on the office table to read. "Or else it's a terrible trap…"

The letter is addressed to someone's uncle, informing them of the charcoal burner's good fortune. Apparently their family had been invited by the emperor to live and work in the capital. Lucky guy.

"Maybe we should prepare for an ambush, just in case," Angeal comments thoughtfully, adjusting his gloves. "What do you think?"

"I think they would've revealed themselves already, if it was the case," Sephiroth says. "And this is a terrible place for an ambush anyway. It's far too open."

"Well, good thing it's not an ambush!" a voice calls from the outside before Angeal can answer.

"... Sounds like something an ambusher would say," Angeal mutters, clearly recognizing the voice, and Sephiroth chuckles.

Reno waits for them outside, lazily scratching at a bug bite on his arm. "Congratulations, you have been summarily recruited for a secret Turk mission," he says and motions around them. "Your station."

"Turk mission?" Angeal repeats. "It was you who sent out that mission file?"

"Yep," Reno agrees, shrugging unrepentantly.

Sephiroth watches him warily. He'd not interacted with Reno or Rude much, Angeal had kinda covered for him there. He'd not entirely sure why the Turks followed them to Wutai. Maybe this is it.

Maybe this is as far as he gets, before having to commit, one way or the other.

Sephiroth braces himself. "What's the mission?"

Reno grins and points a finger at him. "Your mission, starting right now, is to stay here," he says, "And get your shit together."

-

Man I've missed ff7 world so much. The whole magic system from Lifestream to Materia to summoning world ending Meteors from the sky is just 😗👌

I'm playing og ff7 while writing and none of the sequelsprequelsremakes come even close to comparing with how delicious Materia in the original game is.

[sanjuno]

Part forty of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine

-

"My king told me - Junshang asked to see this lowly cultivator?"

"Shishu thinks too lowly of himself. Surely he's still a Peak Lord of The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, is he not?"

The great hall in the Northern Fortress hall is empty, bar the two of them, all the demonic courtiers dismissed. The emptiness of the place makes its gleaming floors and vaulted ceiling seem vaster than it even usually seems, as every word echoes in the icy palace.

The Demon Lord sitting upon the throne isn't the Northern King, however - but his master. The Half Heavenly Demon, Luo Binghe.

And the man before him was once - and in some ways still is - his Martial Uncle, Shang Qinghua of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect's An Ding Peak.

Who is, quite plainly, shaking in his boots.

"Haha," he laughs, desperate, "I suppose they haven't kicked me out yet?"

Luo Binghe blinks, slow, like a predator.

Shang Qinghua squirms. "What - what can this Shishu do for Lord Luo?"

"Today this Lord announced a hunt," Luo Binghe said. "For any artefact, knowledge or skill that has to do with the transmigration of souls."

Shang Qinghua startles at that, then gapes at the Demon Lord, and then he looks at the floor. "That is - very interesting, my Lord?" he manages.

"Any member of this Lord's court that brings credible information is to be rewarded a wish within this Lord's ability to grant," Luo Binghe continues, watching him closely, unblinking. 

Shang Qinghua looks helplessly away. "A - an incredible boon for anyone -" he gulps, as he sees something sharp and blue in the corner of his eye.

WARNING, it says, in bold, flashing letters.

"Mobei-jun then informed this Lord that his servant," Luo Binghe puts an emphasis on that, "has secret knowledge. That he speaks of other worlds. Of things this world lacks."

Shang Qinghua wets his lips, swallows, says nothing.

Luo Binghe is still and silent for a moment, watching him writhe. "Do you know why you have been called before this Lord?"

"This lowly one dares not guess," the Peak Lord of An Ding barely whispers, as the flashing blue screen presses closer.

Another slow predator's blink. "Is Shishu afraid?"

Shang Qinghua is terrified, thanks! "Lord Luo is powerful and unpredictable."

The Demon Lord scoffs and stands - and moves away while Shang Qinghua flinches. He faces instead the great ice windows behind the throne, looking over the fortress and, behind it, the Northern Desert. "This Lord has been informed that the reason he cannot resurrect his Shizun is because Shizun has departed from this world," he says in a voice that grows low with frustration. "That he is somewhere else now. He cannot be found in any realms this Lord has access to. He is, therefore, in another world."

Shang Qinghua's breath hitches.  "My Lord has this from a credible source?"

"Madam Meiyin is one of the strongest foretellers in the Demon Realm," Luo Binghe says grimly, glaring at the view outside.

"... She is, yeah," Shang Qinghua says under his breath and then, even quieter, "... Shit."

Luo Binghe looks at him over his shoulder. "Does Shishu know what she means?"

"... N-not exactly, no, but -" Shang Qinghua looks away, incredibly guilty, squirming with awkward unease. The warning is still there, inching ever closer. "He might've - read some things, yes -"

Luo Binghe turns to face him fully. With the desert and the snowy fortress behind him, bright with eternal winter, he's left in his own shadow, and the only visible features in his face are his glowing red eyes - and the vicious demon mark on his forehead.

"What things has Shishu read?"

"Aiyah," the Peak Lord whimpers, caught between the Protagonist and the System and feeling the squeeze. "Nothing very recently, my Lord, I swear! It's only the words, transmigration of souls, are very familiar - where, may this one ask, where did Lord Luo hear of them?"

"They were spoken by Mobei-jun. He heard Shishu mention it," Luo Binghe says, his voice lowering to gravel. "What, exactly, does Shishu know?"

The System window sort of shakes at him, and Shang Qinghua despairs, lighting incense in his heart for himself and then for Cucumber-bro - who he will absolutely throw under the bus if it means he'll live to see another day. 

Ah, Mobei-jun, his incredible perfect King, why did he have to be so -! If Shang Qinghua had realised Mobei-jun could actually hear him, he would've been more careful around him! Mobei-jun never reacted, never asked, never - ah!

"Shishu?" Luo Binghe growls and takes a step forward.

"This lowly servant doesn't know how it works," Shang Qinghua babbles, keeping a side eye on the System window. "Or what triggers it. Death, maybe! It's, the transmigration of souls is, like… like reincarnation, but sideways?"

"This Lord knows his Shizun hasn't reincarnated," Luo Binghe says very firmly.

Ahh, scary. "L-like this one said, sideways!" Shang Qinghua says feebly. "I-its not reincarnation, exactly. It's more like… possession?" Ahh, the System didn't like that at all! "This Shishu really can't say more, begging Lord Luo's pardon!"

It has already been too much.

Luo Binghe stares at him, and stares at him, and stares at him, and Shang Qinghua is going to see his gaze in his nightmares! "Shizun… Shizun is possessing someone…?"

Shang Qinghua backs away from the tendrils of demonic energy rising from Luo Binghe. "Maybe! Not exactly! The previous host usually dies, haha," no, no, no, don't take his B-points, take Cucumber-bro's points, he's the one this is all about, and it's not like he needs them anymore!

Ahh, Luo Binghe is coming closer, this is the worst! "There's compatibility, kinda! I think!" Shang Qinghua babbles in panic. "The soul is attracted to a body that suits it! They always were so alike, really, it was so uncanny at times? So it's not really like possession, more like - like reoccupation?"

Luo Binghe's eyes sharpen - like cat's eyes, detecting prey. "... what?"

Fuck! Shang Qinghua puts his hands up against whatever is to come, but it doesn't come, neither from the System, nor the Demon Lord. Luo Binghe's eyes pass him by as he thinks, his gaze flicking to and fro as the half-demon searches his memories and flexes his intellect. 

Both which Shang Qinghua knows are considerable.

"Shizun… isn't the original Shen Qingqiu, is he?" The Protagonist murmurs. "Shizun changed. This disciple remembers it well, when Shizun became kind, when Shizun became generous. And Shang-shishu knew," Luo Binghe says, and his gaze refocuses. "Shang-shishu knows Shizun was a result of the transmigration of souls. Shishu knows where Shizun comes from!"

"Aaahh," Shang Qinghua whimpers. "My Lord Luo -!"

Luo Binghe leans in and says, with absolute certainty. "Shishu will tell this Lord all he knows of Shizun. He will leave nothing out."

Shang Qinghua is going to cry. Please, System, have mercy on his soul - because Cucumber-bro would not!

-

Ahh, rip, hamster-man.

[sanjuno]

Part thirty-nine of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight

-

Reno has decided he hates sleeping in a tree. He doesn't particularly enjoy any aspect of camping but he especially dislikes sleeping in trees. Even with a hammock to pitch between branches, it's never comfortable.

Stupid  SOLDIERs and their stupid endless stamina. Sephiroth and Hewley didn't even bother to make a camp or anything, they just slept wherever! Incredible. Not that Reno thinks Sephiroth actually slept at all. Sure, Reno didn't either, because the forest did not shut up all night and the fuck can sleep with all the noise, but still. Even after a day of fighting monsters and evening of sword practice, Sephiroth just doesn't quit, huh. The guy has issues.

Glancing over the edge of his hammock to see Hewley still asleep and Sephiroth sitting cross-legged, actually meditating, Reno lies back and sighs. So much for SOLDIERs not knowing when to quit, huh? 

After a moment of waiting while the sky above grows slowly lighter and all the damn bugs in the forest wake up for the whole new day of being nuisances, Reno digs out his PHS and shoots out a message.

Reno: If I have to spend another night in this damn forest, listening to Sephiroth's constant sighing, I'm going to lose it. Tell me you're done.

Rude: Your life is a constant struggle. Charcoal burner's house checks out. I'm back at the camp for supplies now.

Reno: Ooh, what did we get?

Rude: Two weeks worth of rations, and a case of contraband.

Reno: Finally some good news! I'll see if I can get the meatheads there before the day is out. Save some of that contraband for me.

Rude doesn't answer, and Reno settles down to wait for the SOLDIER Firsts to get up and get moving. Sephiroth does first - rising, of course, to do some more  sword practice.

Reno watches him work for a while before adding annotation to the watch log. 07:34, Sephiroth begins solo sword practice, no visible signs of his "energy alignment" practice. From Sephiroth's comments, he figures the guy is being careful with it, and doesn't want to be interrupted again - something he's already made a note of in his ongoing report.

This mission involves way too much paperwork already, and way too many questions. Sephiroth doesn't take in EXP anymore, apparently. There's something called Qi-deviation - his fit, maybe - which he's trying to avoid. He's now meditating with Materia, which is - something. And it's Reno's job to figure out explanations for all of this.

He's doing the work of a Science researcher, basically, observing Sephiroth like a lab rat for all sorts of unusual behaviours. Except he's doing it behind the Science Department's back. Wonderful.

Reno waits until Hewley shows signs of waking up before sending out the data package Tseng had prepared. Then he lies still, staring up at the forest canopy, listening.

"Good morning," Sephiroth says somewhere below. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, good morning - wait, it's morning? Sephiroth, you didn't wake me up?" Hewley asks. "I meditated most of the night, it's fine," Sephiroth says, dismissively. "I figured I might as well let you sleep, since I was going to stay up anyway."

"That's - considerate of you, but we agreed to change shifts," Hewley points out. "You should've woken me up anyway."

"What's the point of both of us staying awake?"

"It's not about what - Sephiroth, I know you've forgotten a lot about how this goes, but we're supposed to be a team," Hewley says slowly, pointedly. "And I would've liked to be included in the decision making."

"... Ah. I didn't… think of that."

"Just - wake me up next time," Hewley sighs.

Point in Hewley's favour there, for not letting Sephiroth get away with this shit. Reno definitely wouldn't have.

There's a sound of Hewley getting up just as both their PHS's beep out a notification. 

"Another mission?" Sephiroth asks.

"Mm, yeah," Hewley agrees, and judging by the sound of it he's looking through the mission files. "Hmm, there are monsters attacking a, uh, charcoal burner's house. They want us to clear them out."

"Sounds bad. Should we put off the other monster hunting mission for now?"

"... Yeah, maybe. Might be that it's an informant's house, or something," Hewley mutters. "Don't see why else they'd send us to help Wutai citizens."

Sephiroth says nothing.

Reno lifts his PHS to make another note before stopping. Sephiroth's apparent… unease has already been noted, and a bit of silence isn't exactly a clear sign of mutiny. The guy has second thoughts - like just about every asshole sent to the front. Nothing new about that.

Except for the fact that Sephiroth isn't allowed to have second thoughts, according to his files.

"Do you have any of those fruits left?" Hewley asks. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah, I picked some more earlier - and I think there's some rambutan over there too…" Sephiroth says and there's a sound of him walking over. "Huh, they are. Didn't notice them in the dark yesterday. Here, catch."

"Oh, those are edible?"

"Yes, you just peel them. Tastes a bit like grape," Sephiroth says and picks some more while muttering under his breath, "What they're doing growing out here though, I don't know."

"Nice. You remember Wutai pretty well, huh? Being able to forage and all."

"... I guess so."

Shutting his PHS off as quietly as he can, Reno puts his hands behind his neck and listens with a scowl as the SOLDIER Firsts enjoy fruit for breakfast. All he has is a few power bars. Che.

"Genesis sent me a message," Hewley comments. "Apparently Hojo is tearing his way through the SOLDIER program."

"... Oh?" Sephiroth asks, his voice audibly tensing.

"Yeah. More tests, observation, and a bunch of Seconds have been called in for extra injections."

"..."

"Yeah," Angeal answered. "Listen to this; Hojo's also taken personal interest in the SOLDIER cadet selection process and has stated that he'll be doing the Mako reaction tests himself."

"... Cadet selection process?" Sephiroth asks. "Is that for selecting new SOLDIER members?"

"Yeah. You probably don't remember, right? When they pick who gets to become a SOLDIER, there's a bunch of tests. Mostly they're physical - and once you pass those, you have to pass Mako reactivity tests. Not everyone can handle Mako injections, so…" Hewley trails away.

"... How many candidates are there usually?"

"Hundred or so in each batch. Of them, maybe ten make it through the whole selection process."

"I see," Sephiroth murmurs. "Hojo taking interest in that is… probably not a good thing."

Hewley says nothing.

Reno grimaces. Yeah, the creepy Head of the Science Department definitely wasn't happy that they yoinked his favourite lab rat from his grip huh. Here's hoping there won't be other incidents - though if there are, they will be Tseng and Cissnei's problem. Reno and Rude have their hands busy here, with these schmucks.  

"Nothing we can do about that here," Hewley says. "Ready to set out?"

"You don't want to warm up first?" Sephiroth asks. "We could do some forms."

"I'll warm up enough on the way there - there'll still be a lot of monsters between us and the house."

"Ah."

"Did you… " Hewley hesitates. "Did you figure out the whole thing with your EXP gain?"

"Yeah, more or less. Don't worry about it. There's still some hawthorn fruits left - do you want them?"

Reno rolls his eyes. Spoken like a man pasting posters on his walls to hide the holes in his house. Who would've thought that Sephiroth was such a shitty liar?

Sephiroth and Hewley set out, and Reno sits up with a stretch, the hammock rocking side to side underneath him. His neck is all fucked up from his sleeping position, but hell, at least he didn't have to sleep on the ground.

Easing himself onto the tree branches, Reno packs the hammock away and then drops down. There are just seeds and skins left from the fruits the SOLDIERs had been eating. Nothing left for him. Assholes.

Sighing, Reno picks some unripened hawthorn fruits from the tree he'd seen Sephiroth pick them from and heads after the SOLDIERs, to continue his watch duty.

This month's bonus had better be worth all this.

-

Gonna start leaving out the links to parts that are available on ao3 because list of links is getting ridiculous.

[sanjuno]

Part thirty-eight of Shizuroth, aka, the SOLDIER General's Self Saving Shizun.

Ao3 link.

Previous parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six, thirty-seven

-

What have we learned? Well, for one, Sephiroth really misses qiankun storages, and the fact that Final Fantasy VII infinite inventories don't seem to be actually real is very disappointing. Two, he seems to have brought back more than just knowledge from PIDW.

His meridian system, though still scarred and unyielding, has already adapted to a cultivator's natural defences against outward energies.

Which makes sense! If a cultivator lets stuff like Final Fantasy VII EXP into their system without properly working that energy into something safe they can use, they'd be courting Qi-deviation all the time. That kind of openness, in a world with the Five Phases and resentful energies - never mind demonic ones! - would be deadly to any cultivator.

One of the first things he'd learned as Shen Qingqiu was to shield himself from that kind of thing. Shen Qingqiu was prone to Qi-deviations in the original text, something he didn't have the time for! So he'd figured out what he was good at, what his element was, and he stuck to it. And he's proud to say he didn't have a Qi-deviation, not even once, in all his years as Shen Qingqiu. Not even with Without a Cure gnawing at his meridians!

But Final Fantasy VII works by different rules. They have different energies. Everyone takes in a portion of the Qi from their kills - a portion of their share of the Lifestream, maybe? And that's normal! The whole world is mired in this huge energy recycling and redistribution system, and Qi-deviations simply aren't a thing.

There's just, you know, madness and memory loss and weird mutations, though that was mostly Mako and Jenova… probably.

Running a hand over his neck, Sephiroth glances to where Angeal sits propped up against a crooked tree, arms folded and head nodding with his breaths, fast asleep. Angeal… who's been acting as a sponge to all the stray energy coming off from their kills.

The whole thing makes Sephiroth feel a little ill. It's probably fine - Angeal actually seems to think he'd benefited from it at Sephiroth's expense! It's what the people of this world are used to, it's what they've evolved with! They actually can grow really strong with it! Sephiroth should know, he grinded both Cloud and Zack to the highest level, and they were really OP!

And yet it… still feels wrong. Sephiroth feels kinda like an awful master, making ignorant disciples to absorb resentful energy so that he didn't have to. They were a couple of those in PIDW, awful shifus abusing Binghe's future wifes for their own benefit, and Shen Yuan hated each and every one of them. 

Ugh.

Okay, okay. EXP versus Qi. Maybe it's different? Since this world has an energy recycling system, not a rebirth system, maybe there are just aspects to it he doesn't get? There probably are! Honestly, for all that it all feels familiar, it also feels a little.. off.

Even here, in the middle of this very lively and monster-filled forest… Sephiroth can't feel much nuance from the place. The forest feels alive, just teeming with energy, but that's… kind of it? For a place that should be aligned with the element of Wood or maybe Earth, it doesn't exactly feel like it.

So, maybe instead of different elements, here there are different stages of energy. Like Lifestream and Materia are the same thing in different stages of matter, maybe everything else is… somewhere in between? MP, magic, and EXP, all just different expressions of the same energy? Hmm…

Maybe EXP is like - like natural photosynthesis? No, that doesn't make sense, uh… spiritual respiration, maybe? Energy digestion? A whole different, but fundamental aspect of local evolution, either way. It would make sense, on a planet that's literally alive, like an organism.

Ugh, he hates making guesses. Where's his wikis and fan sites full of meta analysis and worldbuilding theories when he needs them?!

Sighing with frustration, Sephiroth looks through his phone again, reading the pertinent tutorial entries. They aren't particularly useful. There's nothing about the Lifestream, very little about Mako and not much at all about Materia, aside from how to equip it and use it. People believe that the knowledge of the Ancients is trapped within the Materia, yeah, sure, but like. How? What kind of knowledge? 

Thoughtful, Sephiroth reaches for Masamune, resting on the tree roots beside him, and carefully eases one of the marbles of Materia out of its handle. Unlike the forest, the Materia definitely has an element. Specifically, Fire. Rolling the little green orb in his fingers, Sephiroth considers the feel of it at length, sending his spiritual senses, such as they are, into it.

It feels kinda alive. A bit like the ginkgo tree, actually, but much more. It feels like the accumulation of energy over generations and cycles, and lives.

It also feels a bit like Fire burns. Which is. Uh. Well. It certainly is a type of knowledge? 

What does that mean for other types of Materia? Ice is cold, lightning goes boom, maybe? Recovery means to heal? Huh.

Interesting. But not as much as the knowledge that the Materia, like Angeal, is still growing. Which, yeah, Sephiroth knew that was a thing, it happened in the games, Materia levels up and even spawns offsprings and everything, but man. It's something very different to feel it with your own spiritual senses. 

Materia are a breed of sorta-kinda awakened spirit stones! Wild.

None of which helps him with his EXP dilemma. At this rate he might have to just set aside everything that holds true about cultivation back home and write a whole new cultivation manual, or something. Call it… Lifestream Cultivation. Evening You Need to Know, Cultivating in a Sci-fi Fantasy Dystopia On the Brink of Collapse!

Yeah, Sephiroth would like to know what he needs to know, please. Not that it would probably help, he'll still need to do the work…

… and none of it makes his overall situation as Sephiroth any easier. It's anything, he's probably making everything worse, acting all weird!

Sighing, Sephiroth lowers the orb of Materia and puts it back into its proper place before looking up at the sky. There's a moon shining past the tree branches. The forest is softly rustling around them as Angeal quietly snores, and a gentle breeze moves through the treetops. Thankfully, the old edict of random encounters holds true - they only happen when you're moving! Very handy, that.

It doesn't quite sound or smell or feel like home. Spiritual Mountain Bamboo has its own distinctive vibe, and Sephiroth hasn't even seen any regular Bamboo in this place. Still, it's beautiful. Wild and full of life and extremely inhospitable to its hostile invaders.

Yeah.

Sephiroth isn't sure how long he can put off making a decision here.

[sanjuno]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!