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[saracusic]

Little Things

Its been forever since I heard the laughter of my kids coming from a bedroom.  Its been forever since my children had to communicate without looking at a screen.                                                                                                                     Its been forever since we connected on a real level.                                            Its been forever since we went for a walk in the woods..

Life has a funny way of making you pause and realizing that you need all need a moment.  A moment of together.  A moment of FAMILY.

This past weekend the family and I went to the mountains.  They were calling my name.  Calling me to the relaxation that I, we, needed.   I started to feel like we were as a family disconnecting.  The only real time I held conversations with the kids lately was to ask about grades, yell about tickets, scream about the fact that they cant keep a single room clean.  

Right before we left for the mountains all my kids were in a minor accident.  Getting that call was what made me step outside myself and my current life worries and see that I was truly starting to loose the closeness that I struggle so hard to ensure they grow up with.   Of course I want them to grow with values and understanding that the living room isn't one big trash can and that clothes when dirty have a place and its called the hamper.   But I also want them to feel like we are equal in our love and not just one sided.   That we show them love and want to spend time with them outside the usual family dinner.  

This past weekend thats exactly what we did.  Going to the mountains is like a step back in time.   There is no wifi there is no cell phone service.  Nothing but you, your imagination and maybe a pack of playing card.   I would say its a millennials worst nightmare.   But it wasn't ...

The kids howled with laughter from the bedroom.  Went outside and did dumb kid things.   Example... run into each other as fast as you can with a ball strapped to your stomach.  We went out on a family hike.  Walked through the woods each taking turns having conversations.    Challenging each others log crossing skills.  Laughing as Bagel (our beloved dog) was crazy with fear because his family was crossing a river and he hates water.    

We had a picnic by the river.   Played football (parents won!  Thats right), soccer, volleyball and had crazy handstand contest.  

As the day slowly came to an end the car was fill with all of us saying “this was the best day”  “ I wish this day didn't have to end”.   I felt the same way.   It really was a great day.  We all found our grounding as a family unit once again.   There was no talk of grades, jobs or any other outside event.  It was all just love and happiness.   Just us being us and being the family I had hope we would raise.  

I feel like every now and then we need a pause on real life.  Real life is hard and its taxing.  Sometimes we can forget how much we need to laugh and how much our children need to laugh with us.  

Make sure from time to time you pause and do the little things.

[saracusic]

My poor first born...

Tonight around the dinner table we were discussing life and all the fun (they say painful) things my children had to deal with growing up.... As if I wasn't the perfect parent all the time!

After some realization I might feel slightly sorry for my Shelby.  Being the first born some times could have been a little harder then say middle or baby.   I may have had some crazy expectations that she needed to live up to, failure wasn't an option for her.   She would be a straight A student with perfect penmanship!  Now fast forward to Jackson and well lets just say my expectations could have fallen to the way side.  I mean he is my baby my last little Cusic.  Kinda helps me over look A LOT.

Anyway we are here to talk about this beauty.

Look at my baby girl, so cute that some days I want to lock her up.  Her cuteness, silly deposition, and all around wholesome personality makes me so proud to be her momma.   I like to think all that “extra parenting” helped mold her to being a wonderful daughter she is today... Even with being a teenager I can't complain. 

So tonight sitting around the kitchen table you can imagine my surprise when she starts listing all the things I made her do that Hailey and Jackson get by with.  Lets look at a couple of her issues...

Apparently in Kindergarten I would ensure (she says threaten her life) that she knew her sight words and could spell all of them with ease.  Doesn't matter that we would need to study for hours sometimes (which to a 5yr old may have felt like days). Another awesome parenting skills that she felt could have used some adjustment was, I would make her write each word that she spelled wrong 5 times...  I have you know that to this day she still knows how to spell dog like a champ..... Your welcome!  Hailey got a “good job you just need to work on spelling dog better”  and Jackson got sight words AGAIN... UGH whats the easiest thing we can do..

Moving on to grades 1 thru 5... handwriting.   So I get that some kids in elementary school could have bad handwriting, but not my Shelby.  To help ensure her perfect penmanship she would need to practice writing her words like I wrote them.  IF I found fault with what and how she wrote them I would possibly make her do it 10 more times...  I say Your welcome because now I make you do all the writing I need when it comes to labels or if I want something to look good.   Clearly if you saw Jacksons handwriting you would be asking what language is he writing in.   Again your welcome Shelby even if you did have hand cramps and I would yell because you were complaining... I still feel completely ok with life

You are your sisters keeper and while your at it watch your brother!!    This line makes me laugh so hard.... I can still remember yelling it from the kitchen window.  The hard life of a 7 year old managing 6yr old Hailey and 3 yr old Jackson.  I like to think this is why she is so good with kids and wants to be a pediatric  surgeon.   Your welcome for a great career ahead of you.  You would have never wanted such a career without needing to care for your sister on a daily and an occasional jackson too.    Learning to mend her wounds not matter if they were real or not... Hailey maybe or maybe not being a hypochondriac taught you patience and a caring hand.   Jackson... well he was never bad because lets face it, he is perfect :)

Now don't you see how all that “extra patenting” has molded her into the sweet caring teen you see today.   

I can't really relate to being a first child... I am the beloved yet sometimes forgotten middle child. This could be why I may or may not have been harder on lil Shelby.   I think as parents we all want our children to have that life we always wanted but were to afraid to get or weren't able to have.   I struggled with school and had the worst handwriting until the day my mother sat me down and made me write from a book, pages and pages, until they were neat.  During this torturous moment and swearing I would never do this to my child, I learned how to parent and have great handwriting.   

We all learn little things, some work some don't but as long as we keep our lil angels on the right path to being the wonderful people we know they can be we are doing the best we can.   With each kid we might change up our game, lessons are learned and priorities shift.  It might just be ok if they don't have the best handwriting in school or can't remember how to spell Dog, isn't that what spell check is for anyway. 

I love you my shel belb, and you love me even if I  slightly pressured you as a kid.

[saracusic]

The world’s greatest Toga...

fast forward 10 years, this picture will include red solo cups......

Tonight was Jackson acting debut, it may have been only in the chorus but I have you know it was 7 songs to remember... with a heck of a lot more words then the whole play combine.  I guess you could even say he was the star of the play.  Most words = leading role right? 

Two months of play practice twice a week and countless complaints of a hoarse voice because they had to sing it “just one more time”.   Dig It turned out to be the cutest darn play I've seen in a long time.   These lil angels sang and danced their hearts out.  Cracked jokes like they were the next Kevin Hart.   

But lets get to the reason I decided to write about this moment.... The Toga....

The toga (in my mind) was a master piece I was going to create.   I am a stay at home mom now, creating stuff is what i do.  There are about a billion blogs created by crafty stay at home moms.  I have a blog, that must mean I can craft and write about how simple and easy it is to create.  Right?  Wrong, I suck and sewing isn't my thing.  Even with no sow tape  and safety pins.  I was painfully blinded to these sad facts.

One quick trip to Joann’s and I was on my way to completing this easy project.   Feeling all kinds of good I remembered that Jackson only like jersey feeling material.. check... A flashy gold belt (because he needed to his bling)... check... one crafty momma to throw it all together... check check and triple check.

This is how my toga looked in my mind..

My visions of creating that turned into creating this.....

along with this....

even he is trying to figure it out.  There may even be several safety pins holding that toga together.    I am so sad I didn't take pictures of the time I taped it together for dress rehearsal.....  he came home with the toga in his book bag and a story about how he couldn't lift his arms or his toga fell down.... Crafting Mom of the year.

How did I not know how make a Toga, aren't they super easy.  Drunk college kids wear them all the time.. wth why couldn't I do it.   Finally tonight right before the last show I decided to say screw it.  His toga was getting flung over his shoulder with only one safety pin and a belt to pull it together.   Below is the final product.  That smile says it all.   

This try was the one I should had went with from the start. Simple and easy.  Jackson won the argument to wear those delightful shorts and shoes by saying no one would see them and who cares if they did.... hmmmmm  Who cares you say.  I may try that..

Who cares that his next costume won't be homemade....I say if amazon can do it better let me get my credit card ready....  

[saracusic]

Soap.. Soap and Yup More Soap

Soap is all I feel like my life is revolving around.  My brain is filled with sudz bubbles and crazy soap smells.  Who would have ever thought that running your own business would be soooooooooooooooooo exhausting.   I don't think I ever worked this hard a day in my life and I worked retail..... with black Friday.   The work hours suck booty (censor for the kiddos), dear 8 to 5 come back I didn't mean to make you mad!!  This soap idea won't leave me alone.  Its there when I wake to when I close my eyes and even then I am dreaming of soap.  My laundry, which BTW was completely caught up, wait,  who am I kidding that laundry is still the same.  Moving on.  I know it seems so early to complain.  I mean didn't I just do a whole blog about change and accepting it.  I am accepting and gladly taking this challenge on.  I just need a moment to vent. 

I guess I always thought owning ones own business would be all sunshine and roses.  That I wouldn't even think of how much inventory i have, which reminds me did I make more green tea soap, or how my logo is my brand and I can't screw that up.   Writing a description is pure torture.  How does one describe green tea smell.... it smells like green tea.  Instead I need to add something about butterflies and happy memories...  Ugh I need to take a class for writing description or maybe just get a book of descriptive words. I read some descriptions and think lies all lies but I want to buy the product anyway.  Pictures that are so perfect you wonder if they are real.  I try to study their perfect ways but my ADD kicks in and Im... wait what was I saying.  Anyway I am a train wreck waiting to happen. 

 Thank goodness for wine and a family that is willing to put up with my crazy ideas and moment to moment changes.    

Poor Craig.  This Sunday Funday was filled with soap making and Sara’s ADD moments.   The day started with a great idea of lets just find the cost for making plain soap and ended with 4 new favors and a failed attempt at a logo.   Several confused looks later and him saying “this isn't what we talked about” or “this isn't at all what we planned to do today.”   I feel like he is getting a clear understanding of what its like to work with me.    Never knowing from one moment to the next what would be happening.  Today he tried to very sweetly inform me that a to do list/priority list might help me stay on track.   God love him.   I use to teach about organization and to do list... I am sure I have a book on that. Figures 

Let me just wrap this all up by saying I am living a hot mess of a life right now but it could be one of the most awesome times.   While soap making is ruling my brain and my ADD if in full effect I couldn't be clearer in my purpose or direction I am going.

Now if I could just figure out how to make smell-o-vison for the computer I could get rid of descriptions all together!  Wouldn't  be amazing! Hmmm could be another idea brewing...

New soaps (of course) in the shop.  Swing by for a look

https://www.etsy.com/shop/SoKsoaps?ref=hdr_shop_menu

[saracusic]

What’s next.....

So today is a pager turner for me.... Out with the old and in with the new.... I don't really know where to begin with how to explain that I know everything will work out right,  I just do.   Let me tell you about my journey and my year of “change” so far...

The beginning of the year started out with me saying, this is it, this is my year of change.  I can feel it.   I didn't know what kind of change or how my life would change but its changing...  I wanted this change to happen no matter how scary it was.   For some reason I felt that the change was going to be work based.  Call it a sixth sense, but thats exactly what changed.   I liked my job but I didn't LOVE my job.   The passion was gone and I felt antsy. Like there was something more to discover.  But as most adults I didn't want to leave my comfort zone.  It was all warm and delightful.  Like that blanket on a Sunday afternoon. I mean really be honest who likes leaving their comfort zone.    NOBODY! 

Thats when life decide to kick me out of my comfort zone and leave me blanketless and scared with no warning.   Well I guess my sixth sense was my warning but I need to really work on those skills.   lol.    My team with the company I was with for 8 years decided to move in a different direction and not buy me a ticket for the train.   No ticket = No job.   As you can imagine my panic was fierce.   I had a small very small piece of my comfort zone still intact, the very same day I was losing my job I received a calendar invite to interview for a position that i dreamed of having.  A position that would have me wearing my big girl pants and set my career path in the right direction and bring joy back to my work.   I clung to that hope as I handed my laptop over to some guy I never met before.  As I rode home with my little folder that explained I would still be paid and even get a nice little severance package, I clung to the hope that I wasn't jobless.   That I would rock the interview and never have to tell a living sole about what happened to me.  Lets just say.... the interview = epic fail.  Once again flung out not the world with no blanket and nothing I mean nothing to cling to I did what anyone would do.... I cried, got drunk and cried some more.  Yoga pants and sweats replace my cute business outfits,  my day was now filled with Real Housewives and tissues.    No more meetings and powerpoint creating, no more teaching, no more traveling or missed memories.  My mind wanted to be happy and rejoice but I wouldn't let it.   This was the change that I was feeling the change i was excited for.   My physical self couldn't understand that.   I could only understand the embarrassment I would feel telling people that I was no longer employed or having to see the pity in people eyes as I tell them well I am still looking maybe I will get something....  Knowing all along there was nothing out there to get.    The time of the year when no one was hiring and trying to get a job in this current job market is more then difficult... Its AWFUL.   I have no degree,  I never felt the need to get one.  I was staying with the one company that I felt like I could move up in without needing a degree because everyone knew me and knew what I could do.   How silly my thinking was.   I wanted to get back in the swing of work so bad that I have applied to at least 50 jobs and only received one interview It wasn't even a face to face.   All long  this little voice in my head was saying... change...  I wasn't listening again only focusing on all the wrong things.   After two months I am finally listening to the voice.... and Im Changing....  

No longer am I crying and watching women who are very entertaining but have no real business being on tv, Im focused on changing.   My thoughts, my career path and my life.   When hubby comes to you and says “no don't go back into that crazy hectic world again.... take the time to figure out what YOU want to do.   I support you in anything you choose, just be happy”  what choice do you really have.   How blessed am I to have someone be so willing to support me and my dreams like that.   

This brings us to the present day...  Today I took a leap, not a big leap but a leap.   I opened a etsy shop today to start selling stuff that makes me happy.   Doing something that brings me joy and being able to live my life is such an amazing experience.   While I can't say that I know how much more change I will need to finally be at peace and happy in life, I do know that when change is happening you need to accept and grow with it.

#blog #change #findingmyself #behappy 

[saracusic]

Taken it waaayyyyy back. TBT Blog (TBT- 7 years ago)

Somehow i came across my old blog on blogger... Back when i first had this idea to a blog, get famous and live the fat life holla!!!! But as you all know now seven years later i am still unfamous and still employed by the below employer. Promoted 4 times since then :) Now, can i say that i still love it.... I take it day by day now. As with every thing some days are better then others. I picked this entry because it talks about that struggle all stay at home moms have when it comes to getting a "real" job. The realest job i have ever had or will ever have is being a mom. I think its so silly that its not recognized as a real employment. I will tell you i fought against the man man!!!! Every resume job app or interview i surely talked about my 5 years in the best job i ever had. Some looked at me crazy and some laughed and said no seriously. Enjoy this throwback on this throwback thursday...... I had to recently take on a new job pt cashier/customer service at a well known superstore. And for fear of lawyers tracking me down that is all I will say about the name of my employer. The crazy thing is I LOVE IT! I know there must be something wrong with me. Why would I love to go out into the general public and have to deal with them? It could have something to do with the fact that they are adults and I can have adult conversation with most. Of course you get the few that aren't so nice and think the world owes them everything and you are just standing in the way of getting it. To those customers I just give an even bigger smile and say in my best voice... "Hope you have the greatest day" The only down fall I can find with this new perfect job is that during the weekend I am away from my kids all day both days. I know what you are thinking, that was the one really great reason to have the job. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy the freedom that it allows me but I do miss the little faces looking up at me searching for the right answer or that yes to a friend coming over. Being a mom is just so full of hard decisions in life. Get a parttime job to pay your bills so your kids can live the same life they have always known or Stay with them forever never miss a moment and have to move b/c you can't afford anything. What to decide?

[saracusic]

Look at this precious hot mess.... I've been thinking back to the days when my kids were lil tiny babies and how quickly they grow up. Was it really 14 years ago this teenager was my first baby girl. Was she ever really this small (since I can't figure out how to move the pictures. See above). When people tell you time flies and you sit there looking at them like "time ain't flying fast enough"..... Next thing you know get another lil angle face ( again see above.... Cute baby with all that black hair :) ). Craig and I had many moments when we thought why isn't this time flying fast enough. These two babies under the age two, we thought, are trying to kill us. But then we had moment like this( Shelby stealing binky) and this( Hailey all cubby and cute) ( you know the drill ... Look up)A couple of super kids in the cribs too ... And I begin to realize that time went too fast. A few awesome years went by there was three... Three of the worlds cutest kids. Yes times were crazy loud unscripted embarrassing. Now unrealized it was just plain life. I remember thinking I can't wait until these kids are old enough to be do things on their own. Watch themselves, get their own drinks dinner etc. I got my wish my kids are now old enough to do all those. They are old enough to make up their minds choose their own clothes watch themselves the list goes on... And I am sad. I'm sad that their lil stinky feet now fit into my shoes and they don't wanna snuggle with their momma any more (unless they want something). I can't say they all don't wanna snuggle ... My prince snuggles with his momma every night and still loves to be tucked in ( hence why he is still my favorite, girls make note). While that time with my babies has past I've learned to look forward to other milestones in their lives first boyfriends, driving (cringing), college, marriage and babies (that can wait a lllooonnnggg time). And with their babies I get to go back to that time in my life that I was too rushed to enjoy. This is probably why my mom and Craig's mom are so different with their grand babies then they ever were with us. Learning to step back and enjoy those small moments in life comes from living in all those rushed moments.

[saracusic]

Fact or crap....

Tonight was family game night at my momma’s. Game of choice … Fact or crap. I suck, I am woman enough to admit I only had 10 chips to Jackson’s 25 Shelby’s 17 and bethys 37. Tonight I challenge you… See how many you get right

1) the lion sleeps tonight was based on an old Sioux lullaby of the same name

2) Neil Armstrong drank a can of coca-cola on the moon and left the can behind

3) china censors the internet with something nicknamed the great firewall of china

The answers are below. But do you see my problem. No body should know all this kinda stuff. I am a firm believer that Shelby and Jackson winged it and got very lucky

1) crap 2) crap 3) fact

[saracusic]

Zombie apocalypse.... Who are you taking

Great title right!! Having a conversation tonight about the inevitable zombie apocalypse and who would be on your list of people to save. Silly me for thinking my children would say... My mom, dad brother sister... You know the usual. Instead here is the list 1) Zac Efron- because he is beautiful in every single way... I just can't live without... He's my boo boo 2) Channing Tatum - because he is strong and also beautiful in every way. Pecks of a god and could carry me around without a worry. 3) Meow meow- (our cat) because she just can't live without her. I ask you how am I to complete with that list and that just one kid. Another said 1)horsey- the stuffed animal- because he the bestie 2) Murphy - another stuffed animal- he is his favorite and can't live without 3) Ray Mystiro - a wrestler, he is small and cool 4) Dad- because he always so helpful with any problems Again notice who is off the list..... Last try 1) dad- because dad is dad 2) meow meow- cat again- because she could smash people with her big booty 3) hippo (Shelby) - because she is awesome Whelp people looks like I'm not surviving the apocalypse anytime soon..

[saracusic]

Snow day..... Baby it's cold outside

I would like to know when does the mind grow up and realize that snow + wind= cold cold stay inside. I question this because my kids spent 4 hours of their lives outside today. I could barely survive the walk from work to the car. I almost ran... But again my adult brain said don't do it.... More effort and energy. I can remember being young and carefree. Sled riding all day was the bomb. It was where all the action was. Every kid and the few cool parents in the neighborhood were out on the biggest hill. Screaming, yelling, not caring that once you reached the bottom of the hill you needed to climb back up. After that full day of fun filled snow I would come inside have the best coco around and pass out as I warm up. Today you wouldn't find me out that kind of hot mess. Just the thought of having to climb back up to the top of the hill makes me tired. I walk outside in 40 degree weather and my teeth are a chattering...... Sometimes I look at my kids all bundled up like lil marshmellows. 20 layers on with that big smile on their faces and think I should get my snow pants on and head outside. Take some action pictures post to Facebook make fun memories.... But as that door opens and the kids run out , that blast of arctic air hits me and I'm reminded that I hate the cold and snow. Instead I grab my coffee good book and cuddle on the couch and enjoy my quiet time

[saracusic]

353 days later.... Or something like that...

Soooooo didn't I say I was gonna blog everyday for a year. What's a few hundred days missing... Any who. Here's some stuff you might have missed Promotions, beginnings, endings, forgiveness, sadness, new friends, missing friends, learning that while you want to be yourself all the time sometimes you need to be a little more "executive" (that came with promotion), travel, girls getting older, my prince getting bigger, FaceTime, meeting a ton of new people and helping shape the future of some pretty talented lives. Looking back my past year has been a whirl wind of so many different experiences. Yes some were very hard to take and painful to face but I wouldn't trade them with anything. I would love to say the year was totes perf, as Shelby would say, but that would be boring. Each and every moment helped change me. Showing me that my world is really a small pebble in this crazy space in time. Stressing about small stuff is dumb and stupidy, another Shelby quote. You need to be free like the birds. That couldn't be truer. You need to realize that just because it doesn't go your way or someone isn't what you want them to be or something changes about your relationships it's not world ending. Maybe you just need to reroute yourself for a moment or learn to except what has happened, adapt. Life and the world doesn't stop because your unhappy or you don't agree with what it's handed you. With that my friend I leave you with one more Shelby quote "no matter what keep your head high and your smile higher"

[saracusic]

Throw back Thursday.... Holla back ya'll

It’s throw back Thursday ladies and gents.. the title is Holla back ya’ll and here’s why As many of you know my bffl is Tovah jean. Wal-Mart superstar greatest co mgr around ( love her).. not that I’m partial or anything. Back in the day (aka 2 years ago) we came to the new and improved Fallston store. One of the many fun items we got to do during construction and setting the store up was games and gangsta rap tunes… Gangsta rap tunes..you say??? How could two totally unassuming girls one..a little bit on the cheerleader side and one on the ummm I don’t know you so we don’t speak side.. get down and gangsta? I’ll tell you, the challenge of challenges. We were challenged to make a cool fun way to talk up safety. To make it exciting for the associates to learn fun way to stay safe. We thought long and hard, then long and hard… Lightbulb… Gangsta rap. It’s what all youth of today can relate to. We came up with the best lil ditty. I wish I had it in front of me because I would sooo write it in here so you could read its awesome gangstaness. But one of the lines was Holla back ya’ll Holla back ya’ll ooooo and ladder back now ladder back now. This rap was so fresh it had an expiration date on it..ok maybe not...anyway We dressed in our finest black hoodies, gangsta hair bun and sunglasses. Took the stage like we were professional..pause ...I will say at this moment in time was def totes a pit stain and bubble guts moments... unpause. We got on stage mics, props and back up singers and we rocked it. Best performance ever!! So good lil Wayne and Dr dre called and wanted pointers. This rap and performance was loved by all. It really did get people excited about being safe. And since that was the message i say its a A+++++ job. Hope you enjoyed my throw back story...fresh by the time I hit publish its gonna be freaking Friday...late night writing.

[saracusic]

Nerves and sweat meds

Tonight I wanna talk about a hot topic to me. One that I believe effects us all…. Bubble guts and pit stains…. This topic is near and dear to my heart. All my besties know I get pitted out and not just a small unnoticeable mark on ones shirt. No sir Jesus blessed me with armpit waterfalls. No hiding or air drying gonna help this poor girl out. I could get pitted out with the smallest of things..morning meeting … “Sara what happened last night with the lines..” me instant waterfall. I could feel the dripping begin. Gross I know. Sweaters and I total bffs even in 100 degree weather we still tight! Then one day a lovely family member was listening to me discuss my over active sweat glands. She said o girl I have that too. But I got sweat meds…. I perked up. What is this sweat meds that you speak of? Where does one get it off the black market maybe? Of course my mind is floored. I have lived with this sweaty mess since puberty. “Eww what’s going on with your pits.. Ewww I can’t hold your hand its making mine wrinkle up! ( yes people true statements said to me) Immediately I had to have this great gift to people in my sweaty shoes. She gave me the doctor info along with a small sample. God love her and her extra sweaty self :) no my issue is always remembering to put it on. Sometimes it gets a little crazy. Now with pit stains comes bubble guts.. I feel like sometimes bubble guts is that little inner voice in you saying yes this could be scarey and could make up throw up that lunch but go for it. This is a good thing. Don't be scared. I bring this up because tonight I have bubble guts, pit stains and sweaty hands. I'm so scared about going for something. Always afraid of the what ifs of the situation. I have come to realize if I don't ever get over the bubble guts and sweaty mess I become I may never reach my dream or get that opportunity. So tonight people I'm applying a triple layer of my sweat meds and calming my bubble guts down. I'm gonna go for this opportunity, I'm not gonna say what if this time. What if is gonna be left behind.

[saracusic]

Back in the sadle again....

So since I'm so cool and hip...I've just learned today is throwback Thursday...what what Holla!!! Here's my throwback Thursday story...embarrassing moment #237 with my kids... The day started out normal and unassuming. I had some packages to mail, I decided to head to my local post office. Packed up my then 3yr Shelby and my sweet 2 yr old Hailey off we went. Now during this timeframe I may or may not allowed them to watch Austin powers, hey! Don't judge we all have our dark secrets. Any who I digress. As we wait in line I feel a slight tug at my pant leg. I look down to see my sweet little bug a boo Hailey looking up at me. I respond with "yes my sweet baby girl" to which she proceeds to start to point behind me. I glance behind me to see a nice bigger lady standing in line smiling ever so nicely at my daughter. I tell Hailey "yes I see the nice lady. Now stop pointing turn around". Now could my child just listen to me and turn around to mind her own 2yr old business, of course not. Hailey says as loud and proud as she can "no mom look its fat bastard behind you!!!".... Pause... I completely understand her even knowing who this person is is part of my poor parenting judgement...unpause... Time seemed to really slow down at this point. The room seemed hotter, armpits a little sweater. I slowly turn around and see that she is talking about the lady ,whom is no longer smiling sweety, behind me. If I could have melted into a puddle or disappeared I would have used those magical powers. No instead I was still in the post office. I say" omg I'm so sorry. O I don't know where she would even know that". Her reply..."mmmmmhmmmm" (insert eyeroll). I correct Hailey on my best mother voice. Trying to save what little face I may have left. Thank god at this point we were next in line. I let go of my no longer sweet baby girls hand to wipe the sweat off my brow and to fan away the hottness in the room. Only to hear a horrific crash behind me. Just when my visit to the post office was going so great, Hailey ran over to the flag pole pulled it down. Crashing it to the floor. Breaking off the eagle head and nearly hitting another person in line. My new bff aka lady behind me just continued to glare at me with a completely new look of complete horror I was even a parent. Of course it was now my turn in line. All eyes on me....so what do I do..... I do what any reasonable person would do. I scoop up my girls and run for the door. I can say to this day 10 yrs later I have yet to return to the post office. I'm sure there's a bulletin board with my picture on it. I hope you all enjoyed my throwback Thursday story.

[saracusic]

Day 15

Sharing is caring...or is it?!?.. I always dreamed of having daughters to share my worldly knowledge with. To help learn how to apply make-up, best mousse to use..ya know the basics of any girlie girls life. I am slowly learning it was all good an fun until they reached about..10. Then I'm no longer included in these little dress up sessions. I couldnt help but feel sad and lonely. Like I had been kicked out of a club... Until I notice my eyeshadow has gone missing, my mousse feels a whole lot lighter. Remembering that I know I put my bag full of nail polish back under MY sink. I slowly begin to realize that the golden rule I was always preaching sharing is caring" is total bs! Sharing is only caring in my eyes when I can monitor the use of ones stuff! I have just learn to look in the shower and make sure all my stuff is there ... Shampoo check conditioner check , razor.... Yup still missing. Thank goodness the body wash has returned. I hope to one day learn to look to make sure all the towels have be replaced. That's a nice little surprise too!! It's no fun to be searching for that product with drippy hair that has frizzed because your search became a 45 min mission, only to find it buried under some clothing on you daughter's floor nearly empty!!! Don't even get my started on clothing and shoes... I feel like hindsight really bit me hard on this life lesson. Bc had I known that one day all my expensive makeup would be mashed into my carpet next to nail polish that got spilled during a secret dress up session I would have never preached that little white lie. No instead I would have taught just the opposite..don't share unless you have money to replace used stuff! But I do love my girls wouldn't trade them for a full bottle of product no way

[saracusic]

Day 11 12 13 & 14

Geeze see what a weekend off can do! 4 days behind lordy but I'm down to maybe 7 loads of laundry, cleaned some bathrooms before the health dept came over to condemn them lol and dusted furniture that became bff with the mites it had been there so long. It's crazy working and trying to keep a clean house clean kids (which from a previous blog doesnt always go so well) and just managing life. I feel like I need a personal assistant or at least a maid. O and watched the greatest football game I had seen in a loooonnnggg time. Which leads me to my point.... I loved how ray lewis gave all the praise to the lord. I was so proud of him when the reporters came for questions and my man didn't even answer them. He just kept right on praising. Praising his team coming to together as one and with the strength of god anything is possible. What a great message!!! No reason to sit there and tell all the things that the other team did crappy or what could have been better. No he just praised praised and more praised. That my friends is how dreams are achieved, through team work and the great almighty. Thank you ray lewis for showing the world this message. In a time when it seems that all everyone cares about are flaws and who is the best you took it back to basics. That's why you are the leader you are. Everyone should take a page out of that book.

[saracusic]

Day 10

Work today was about awful... I'm not really sure how you can motivate people to do great things when all you want to talk about is the negative. "You didn't do this." "This turned out like crap." "We up on sales...could be better". It's just so exhausting. Then you are expected to go out and give 120% of yourself...and for what?? That's what I'm asking myself. What am I doing all this for, that thank you, the good job handling that situation, wow sales are great or even just a good ol fashion atta girl. No I can't be because those things are never said or ever done. I guess I'm doing this because as I always say " my babies need new shoes!" It's amazing all the stuff people put them throught for the betterment of the kddies. Because I tell ya after a day like to day I would love to just walk in and let em have it! Show them what all this non appreciation has made me feel. It wouldn't be pretty and I'm 100% positive my booty would be out the door but damn it would feel like a small slice of heaven. So today I say people please if you are in any type of supervisor rule or maybe a team lead please please put some positive in with some negative. If you beat someone down remember you always need to rebuild them. Give them the confidence to wanna make a differce to try to do better for the good of the team. A simple thank you goes such a long way. Just take a minute to place yourself in the other persons shoes. It never feels good to only always hear the worst. I just wanna say thank you to all the people that come to work and give that 120%, to all the people that show the care and concern even when its tough and to all my friends family (and with hope complete strangers bc I'm so popular) that take the time out each day to read my story's.