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sarah-conque · 11 years ago

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Stigma

Each day I have the great privilege of sharing stories of fearless individuals living in Haiti. I always have a choice… To highlight the sometimes negative reality or the examples of triumph and survival. I usually choose those that are positive, show progress, and beauty. There are many times when the injustice is too great to even consider sharing a word of it… but it still occurs. The reality can be dark for many, especially for those living with disabilities in Haiti.

I’ve encouraged countless Moms not to care what people say about their children, believe in their potential, and ignore the stares. I’ve felt true empathy for those that have to fight the “stigma” of having a child with a disability in Haiti. Everyday they hear horrible things like, “It’s your fault. Your family must be cursed. Don’t let her look at me, I don’t want to catch it.” The awful assumptions are endless.

It wasn’t until I brought my beautiful princess Nika out to lunch this week that I felt firsthand this ridicule, the stares of disgust, and looks of fear directed towards her. I endured for a short moment what many of the families I love have to deal with everyday.

I now know the definition of “stigma”… it’s standing outside of a restaurant waiting for a taxi & having 20 people crowd around you and your child within minutes.. not to say hi or play with her, but to stare.. not to ask questions or offer help, but to gawk. It tears my heart to shreds and I’ve come to realize that it's those broken pieces that rise up & transform into my intense passion for advocacy.

I’ve always promised myself that I’d never share a sad story w/out presenting the hope of a different outcome. So, I want to tell you about how I saw a glimpse of a better future… A new day where inclusion for those with disabilities is second nature, where differences are embraced, and the root of the “stigmas”… ignorance… is replaced w/knowledge. You may think this is impossible, but today, I saw a preview of it in a group of 30 school children. I passed them as I walked out of the medical clinic at Danita’s Children w/Nika. They stared, so I walked closer. They were curious and wanted to know why Nika’s head was so large. They weren’t scared or hateful. Instead, they were open and hungry to understand and hear her story.

A little girl stretched out her arms and asked if she could hold Nika… my heart skipped a beat. I shared how Nika is a miracle & there’s no medical explanation for how she’s still alive. They laughed, loved her, and became friends. They are the future of Haiti and they are now friends of Nika! They are a new generation rising up to set a higher standard of how to treat ALL human beings with respect.. because of their willingness to accept and love, I’m excited and hopeful for the future of Haiti.

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sarah-conque · 11 years ago

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Proximity of Love

(I wrote this in May, but am just now posting)

A 7 month old corpse in my arms….

A sobbing mother's head against my chest…..

There are things I thought that I would be prepared for in Haiti. I thought I could handle and process; death, dying, disease, poverty, desperation… all things I knew would be tough, but I THOUGHT I was prepared to face them. Tonight, I walked into a hospital room and saw a mother standing next to a crib, with what looked like a sheet simply bundled up inside. Only it wasn't just a sheet, there was someone wrapped inside. How do you comfort a mother who has just lost her baby boy? What can you possibly say to make her feel better and understand that this is a part of God's plan?

I held her close and could only stare at the puddle of tears that was collecting in the small space between us. I could see my own reflection of grief in her puddle of pain. She mustered the strength to begin packing her things and I heard her ask me to carry him home. It took me a few minutes to actually pick him up. There he was, wrapped up in a sheet, lifeless. She said she just couldn't do it. I wanted to scream, "I can't do this either!" No, this is not happening. This is too much. This is too real.

I don't know what I thought would happen when I touched him. I half expected him to move, or reach for me. I pushed these irrational thoughts aside, took a deep breath, and drew on a strength that could only have come from The Lord……. I put his limp body in my arms. We traveled the narrow alleyways to get to her home in the pitch black dark of night. I got out of the car with the baby boy in my arms and for what seemed like an eternity, we waited for her family to come outside. Here I was standing in the middle of the night, with a baby's body in my arms. Immediately, a wave of emotions brought me back to the night Isabella died (almost three weeks ago). This is too fresh. This is too much. This is too real.

After Isabella died, I told myself that I would never get that close to someone again. I would never invest that much in a little life that could so quickly leave me. But, even in that moment, I knew that I would be in this position again, that I am called to always love fearlessly, invest deeply, and never stop believing for miracles. I believe that's what we are all called to do. To get close… uncomfortably close, to the point where you can actually make a lasting difference.

The truth is that this IS real life and we do have a choice. We can say it's all too hard to deal with and we can refuse to acknowledge that we are needed when death happens, tragedy strikes, and people suffer. Or we can push past the days we think we couldn't possibly make it through and we can get close. I've been doing a lot of pushing through in the past few weeks and I've found a new understanding of God's sovereignty and close close love for me.

The closeness of His love is beyond anything I can even fathom. I'm incredibly grateful He gets close enough to be in the details; the real ones, the hard ones, and the great ones. He loves more than close enough for me and I'd be lost without His abundant steadfast love {Nehemiah 9:17B}

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sarah-conque · 12 years ago

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I want to let you know of a fashionable and convenient way to help support me in my ministry in Haiti (and beyond) for children w/disabilities. It's SIMPLE, buy one of these handmade Haiti's Jewels bracelets. They are made of recycled materials and local Haitian products by amazing Haitian artisans. Please comment or private message for more information on how to place an order with me and feel free to share with your friends **PRICES + $4.95 (S&H)** Happy Elephant (top left)-$20 Tan leather macrame cross bracelet (middle left)-$15 Single Wrap Majok Seed Bracelet (bottom left)-$13.50 Recycled Aluminum Bangles (2) (top right)-$20 The Arrow Cuff (bottom right)-$16

#haitian #haitisjewels #causes #help #support

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sarah-conque · 12 years ago

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