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[sataniquepanique]

Oh Astarion, we're really in it now

astarion + text posts (part 18)

[sataniquepanique]

Be gentle... if you can.

[sataniquepanique]

I just think that astarion deserves to be treated softly. I just think that astarion needs to cry in tav’s arms . I just think that he needs to be held and loved and adored. is that so bad

[sataniquepanique]

"you're good at art you should go to college you should start animation you should get a job in the industry you have so much potential" I SHOULD BE IN THE WOODS. EATING POISONOUS BERRIES

[sataniquepanique]

Act 2 after the Orthon be like

[sataniquepanique]

people on this website be like “it’s actually school’s fault that i don’t know how to read because i wanted to write my essay on the divergent trilogy and that BITCH mrs. clarkson made us study 1984 instead. anyway here’s a 10 tweet thread of easily disproven misinformation about a 3 year old news story and btw, who is toni morrison?”

[sataniquepanique]

In my opinion, It’s really fucked up that people ship Astarion with Cazador.

I don’t care if people think “well Cazador is just as wounded as Astarion is” - that doesn’t make what Cazador did to those spawn okay. He tortured Astarion and the other 6 ‘house spawn’. He starved them, he gaslit them, he went as far as making them torture each other and even themselves to satisfy some sick pleasure he got out of it. He used Leon’s daughter as leverage so Leon would obey. Who’s to say he didn’t also torture the 1000’s of other spawn that were brought to him.

There is no redemption for Cazador, and for people to ship Astarion with his abuser is just sick.

[sataniquepanique]

STOP IT RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭😭

How about you doodle/draw Astarion on a clothes shopping spree, impossibly happy or teary or however you like, since he's had nothing of his own in 200 years

How about you doodle/draw Astarion just... Hugged. Loved. Cared for. Having his head patted. His ears caressed. Ticklish Astarion, maybe. JUST HIM. HAPPY.

How about you doodle/draw Astarion braiding beloved's hair (anyone, your Tav, Gale, Wyll, Halsin, a random Tav, Shadowheart even (I personally think they'd be besties and talking shit about everyone in camp in Elvish while they do each other's hair and nails))

How about you doodle/draw Astarion just sewing. Anywhere, any act, before or after the game. Just anytime.

How about- (I'm so sorry)

I loved the sewing idea and a little comic was born

[sataniquepanique]

Sleight of Hand

Astarion x Tav (she/her used)

Summary: Tav is terrible at lock-picking, and Astarion is great with his hands.

A/N: Set around Act 3. Tav and Astarion are in a committed relationship and the party is thoroughly confused/disgusted.

“Shit—“

Astarion dug some dirt out from under his fingernail with the tip of a dagger. He sighed loudly, examining the crusted blood and muck circling each cuticle. The sooner they finished up here, the sooner he could scrub this mess off his body properly back at camp.

“—Fuck!”

His crimson eyes dragged upwards towards the sounds of frustration, watching with pure boredom as Tav continued to try and lock-pick the door to a run-down building in the southernmost part of the city. She’d been going at it for over 20 minutes, and as he had reminded her (more than once), time was not on their side in this situation. They needed to get in and get out, fast. Astarion internally groaned as Tav slid the pick into the keyhole for the 52nd time.

“Darling,” he said as pleasantly as possible, “please allow me. I’m exceptionally more skilled at this than you, and I can—“

“No!” She turned to give him a sidelong glare, “I’ve got this. Just…give me a moment, it’s almost there.”

He clicked his tongue. From beside him, Shadowheart sighed, slumping against the sun-warmed stone wall. Gale, ever the eager helper, hunched over a crouching Tav, muttering encouragements at her (frankly pathetic) attempts. Astarion’s upper lip began to curl into a snarl as Gale shifted closer towards her ear, whispering something that caused her to grin. Noises coming from the street above triggered them all to startle, the sound of clanking metal signifying an incoming approach of the Steel Watch. Astarion didn’t waste any time, crouching behind Tav and encircling her with his arms, placing both hands atop hers.

“As truly remarkable as you are—“ he began to move their hands in unison, guiding the lock-pick tools into the keyhole, “—sleight of hand is not one of your strengths my love.” A few more strokes of his fingers over hers, pressing the pick downwards while the other pried to the right, and they both felt the lock click. 

It had taken mere seconds.

Tav’s voice was tight as she pulled her hands away, “It’s not my fault your—“

“—hands are more dexterous than yours?” Astarion purred in her ear, pocketing both tools into his jacket. 

“I was going to say more used to being a degenerate, but whatever makes you feel better.”

He laughed softly as to not give away their location, the sound of the approaching guards growing louder. “Oh my darling,” he reached around to open the door, caging her between himself and the wooden frame, “Keep it up and I’ll show you how much of a degenerate I can be, hands and all.” 

She felt her entire body flush as Astarion brushed past, deft fingers dragging across her hip. Shadowheart followed quickly behind him, pausing before the doorway beside a frozen Tav.

“A friendly reminder that the Elfsong isn’t very conducive when it comes to…private matters. So do be sure to keep quiet later on, some of us would like to get some sleep.”

For a brief moment, Tav considered just throwing herself to the mercy of the Steel Watch rather than deal with this embarrassment, but Gale quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her into the building without another word.  

[sataniquepanique]

Eddie Munson in a nutshell.

[sataniquepanique]

im crying, neil tried to do something better with arabella's dead parents than just leave them on the ground so he decided to put them both in a big box, and then while laughing about how awkward it was decided to put two little candles on the box for poor little arabella but couldn't stop laughing because "it's like a birthday cake, except it has your dead parents inside" and tom just kept on going oh GOD neil what are you doing, Asra is just rocking in a corner, because he was so horrified

[sataniquepanique]

⛓🖤🩸❤️⛓🖤😈🦇🖤⛓🗡️🚬🖤⛓🩸❤️🖤⛓ for @barbecutie’s BG3 tiefling Lilith (again, yes that's happening)

[sataniquepanique]

Astarion who likes you immediately but keeps being mean to you, because if he's mean, you won't like him back. And if you don't like him back, then you won't follow him and if you don't follow him, you don't die

Astarion who is so touch starved he shudders when you pat him on the arm after battle

Astarion who takes any armour you give him as a sign that you value him, that you like him, that you want him alive

Astarion who learns how to make everyone's breakfasts after a while because it's the first time he has friends and he wants them to keep liking him

Astarion who guards you with your life that first night, when it's just you two, before you meet anyone else. He's trying to tell himself it's because you're his ticket to salvation but really, it's because you're the first person of sort-of authority that trusts him without question.

Astarion who's afraid to ask to drink your blood because he thinks you don't actually want it to happen, only to be surprised every morning when you tell him he can.

Astarion who learns to love all over again, both romantically and not

[sataniquepanique]

Disarm

Astarion x Tav (she/her used)

Summary: Tav and Astarion have been secretly seeing each other for a few weeks. One of them is adept at feelings, while the other is better at noticing traps.

A/N: Set around the time of Act 1, before Tav and Astarion become officially paired/committed.

“So Astarion,” Shadowheart chimed from the rear of the group, stepping over a large piece of stone as the party of four combed the seaside cliff for a way into the temple ruins, “do you have anyone back home? A lover perhaps?” 

From the front of the pack, Tav could hear the sly smirk in Shadowheart’s voice. The sound of which made her wince, but the question itself caused a swirling chasm to form in the pit of her stomach. For a few weeks now, her and Astarion had been secretly carrying on a romance that neither were ready to make public. It’s not that she was embarrassed to be with him, but she worried what the others would think; would they not trust her anymore? Would they see her as weaker now? She thought the best of her new friends, but the nagging voice in the back of her mind was ever present, needling away at her subconscious. Astarion on the other hand, was not ready to even admit to himself that this was a romance. She knew it was due to his past trauma, that much she had been able to piece together. If you asked him (which she had a few nights ago), he’d say they were “exploring each other exclusively” and nothing more than that. 

The painful truth of it all though, after the many nights of sneaking into each other’s tents, of stolen glances across campfires and the countless hidden touches during their travels—Tav was beginning to fall for the pale elf. She couldn’t tell him that yet, not when he was barely able to admit that they were together at all. So she kept the feelings leashed, allowing their clandestine romance to stoke the flames of longing being bottled up inside her heart. 

Shadowheart's question, though innocent in nature, threatened to untether that leash. The thought of Astarion having a lover back in Baldur’s Gate was something that had never crossed her mind. He was beautiful in the most ethereal way, it would make sense that he had someone waiting for him. They were probably just as otherworldly. Tav wondered if they had been turned as well. As her thoughts began to spiral, the images of unfamiliar limbs tangled with his caused acid to rise in her throat. The acceleration of her heart almost drowned out Astarion’s answer.

“I’ve had many lovers in my time, darling,” he drawled, the words doing nothing to ease the ache in Tav’s heart, “but none that are worth going back to. Nor are they waiting for the likes of me.” 

Tav inhaled for the first time in what seemed like minutes.

“And who knows,” Astarion added, the familiar playfulness creeping back into his tone, “maybe I’ll find a new one out here in the great wide nowhere.”

Tav dared a glance back to find his crimson eyes trained of her. He shot a wink that threatened to melt her right then and there. Biting back a smile, she took a few more crafty steps around some rubble. As she went to side-step a fallen piece of a column, Astarion yelled.

“NO!” He wrapped an arm around her middle, yanking backwards until she was pressed firmly against his chest. “Don’t. Move.” The rumble of his voice reverberated through her as he slunk around and uncovered a hidden explosive beside the column. 

“This place is trapped. Be on alert,” he knelt down and began to quickly disarm the small bomb. Shadowheart and Gale split off and began to comb over the area for more, while Astarion returned to her side. A slender hand found its way to the small of her back.

“It would’ve been such a shame to have that lovely face destroyed, please try to be more careful next time darling,” he purred before placing a quick, yet incredibly gentle, kiss on her temple before joining the others. 

Tav stood in place for a beat longer, pulling on the restraints of her heart that were beginning to snap.

[sataniquepanique]

Common Occurrences: Blurbs and One-Shots based on events that have happened during my first play-through. My Tav lives to annoy Astarion, and he loves to antagonize her back. Two idiots in love, and all that.

Book Dragon

Summary: Tav is a hoarder and frequently dumps inventory into the camp supplies and forgets which important objects she needs for quests.

Disarm

Summary: Tav and Astarion have been secretly seeing each other for a few weeks. One of them is adept at feelings, while the other is better at noticing traps.

Sleight of Hand

Summary: Tav is terrible at lock-picking, and Astarion is great with his hands.

[sataniquepanique]

Series:

Another Life

Desert Song

Painkiller

One-Shots & Blurbs

[sataniquepanique]

One-Shots & Blurbs

Hate Me

Summary: Your cousin Gareth asks you to be Corroded Coffin's new manager, but you and Eddie can't seem to get along.

Do It

Summary: Eddie's rude neighbor threatens him, and little does she know you are 100% ready to fight for him (and it really turns Eddie on).

The Shire

Summary: Eddie is taking his daughter to see The Fellowship of the Ring in theaters.

Destined for an Alternate Dimension

Summary: you follow the crew into the Upside Down, against Eddie's wishes.

Feel Something

Summary: You're still struggling after the Upside Down. You find Eddie's stash in a desperate attempt to feel something.

Almost (Sweet Music)

Summary: You're back in Hawkins with your band for The Hideout's 25th anniversary event, and Corroded Coffin is also on the bill. You haven't seen your ex Eddie in a year, and debut a new song written about him.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Summary: You meet a stranger at a hotel bar during a work trip, and now you can't get him out of your head.

New York, I Love You

Summary: Eddie plans a trip to NYC for your anniversary, but becomes distant once you land in the city that never sleeps. You know he's hiding something, but you're not sure what.

I Know the End

Summary: You're trying to cope with the aftermath of your boyfriends death in the Upside Down.