saudade06

[saudade06]

I'm tired of the struggle

I'm tired of the fuss

I'm just tired of it all

[saudade06]

It's hard to describe in words because it's not just a feeling. It's slowly forgetting to reply to messages. It's sitting down when you shower. It's forgetting to eat and then eating too much. It's laying down for five minutes and getting up four hours later. It's cancelling all your plans just to do nothing. It's being asked what's wrong and not having an answer. It's knowing you shouldn't ignore it but ignoring it anyways. Knowing how to make it better but making it worse. Knowing you're slipping but unable to stop yourself from falling. It's knowing. It's hard to describe in words though because I no longer care for words or for melodies or anything I used to love. I no longer care at all.

[saudade06]

Dear diary...

Maybe I was only meant for pain.

Maybe that's all there is for me.

No joy, no comfort, no pleasure, no relief...

Only sorrow, loneliness and fear.

And the worst part is... I brought this on myself...

I don't deserve anything else...

[saudade06]

To think… I lasted being happy this long. It was alright.

[saudade06]

“I know pretty much what I like and dislike; but please, don’t ask me who I am.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[saudade06]

“most nights are tough. she lays there in darkness. overwhelmed by things she wished she didn’t think about.”

— r.h. Sin

[saudade06]

You cannot make everyone think and feel as deeply as you do. This is your tragedy … because you understand them, and they do not understand you.

Daniel Saint

[saudade06]

“I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.”

— Unknown

[saudade06]

“Lonely isn’t being alone. It’s the feeling that nobody cares.”

— Unknown

[saudade06]

For a while I've been unhappy but found some way to live through the pain. I found a way to seem happy and survive without giving it all away. But lately though there's been this lingering feeling deep down in my chest. I feel as though it's all pointless, like I'm in living in vein.

I've pleaded with my mind to stop the voices, I've begged and I've cried for it all to end and somehow for me to find joy again but nowhere in sight is there a new beginning, nowhere in sight is there a fresh start.

[saudade06]

I think that's what happens when you've lived a lonely childhood. You get too attached to people as you get older, in the hope that they'll give you the care and love that you missed out on and never leave you.

— elsiewarrenswords (via wnq-writers)

[saudade06]

“For her the ocean was more than a dream, it was a place she needed to visit to find herself and when she returned to the city, you could see the sun in her eyes, the wind in her hair, and taste the infinite salt on her lips.”

— Jose Chaves

[saudade06]

My heart feels so heavy and soul like it's carrying a burden of its own. I've tried to pin point when this all started. When i traded my happiness for pain. My strength for weakness. When did i stop believing and give in. When did my dreams become sorrows and my laughter tears. When did the belief of tomorrow become the grief of today.

[saudade06]

“The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained.”

— Unknown

[saudade06]

[saudade06]

“The hardest period in life is one’s twenties. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous, and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.”

— Helen Mirren, quoted in Esquire’s “What I’ve Learned” (via wordsthat-speak)

[saudade06]

“I wanted it so much. I don’t know why I wanted it so much.”

— Ernest Hemingway, Cat in the Rain