sawtrappedirl

[sawtrappedirl]

a little work in progress. yellowjackets tlou au :)

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why cant sleep paralysis demons look like this ⚰︎

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this is what Really happened at that party

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I'm about 95% certain the only time anyone actually touched Lottie in s3 was when Travis choked her, which is mmh, sad. And come to think of it, the only times I remember anyone touching her in a soft and positive way in s2 were when Nat dressed the cut on her palm and when she could finally get downstairs after the beating and Mari and Akilah hugged her.

So yeah, if anyone wants to join me in a Wilderness prayer circle for somebody to show Lottie a little tenderness again, I'll be here

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*Walks up to mic and takes a breath before speaking*

Top Dismas and pillow princess Murrit are real and true, and I will stand by that forever.

*The crowd boos and throws tomatoes at me as I close my eyes and step back with a smile on my face*

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Things I am not emotionally prepared to see in the post-rescue timeline (but are inevitable):

•Shauna getting pregnant with Callie and being haunted by constant flashbacks/hallucinations of her pregnancy with Wilderness Baby. Giving birth to Callie but feeling a cold, hollow disconnection because she’s terrified to love another child.

•Nat in a string of relationships/hookups with toxic men who treat her like shit because that’s what she’s been conditioned to believe she deserves. Watching her relapse after being sober in the wilderness. Enduring drug overdoses, failed rehab attempts, and nights in jail. Watching her live a lonely, nomadic life with no home.

•Travis returning home and having to lie to his mother about how his brother and father died, swallowing the knowledge that she believes the wrong son survived. Having to walk past Javi’s room everyday and see all of his pictures and belongings still strewn all over the house.

•Taissa and Van breaking up, with Van privately wondering if staying in the wilderness like Tai wanted would have meant they’d still be together. Van having to watch Tai move on publicly and act like she’s unaffected by it all.

•Lottie slipping into catatonia and being shuffled through psych wards for most of her adult life, which is exactly what she feared would happen and why she never wanted to leave the wilderness.

•Misty losing contact with the other survivors and returning to being the desperately lonely social outcast. Filling her time hanging pictures of her and the team on her walls and keeping tabs on the other YJs to maintain the feeling of belonging she once had with them.

•Nat and Travis locked in toxic cycles, pulling each other back into relapse, unable to stay apart even as they both know they’re poison together, being both each other’s refuge and ruin. Seeing the how their suicide pact comes to be.

•Shauna losing all of her potential when she marries Jeff and assumes the facade of a quiet, docile housewife.

•The survivors returning home and having to face the grieving, questioning families of the people they killed and ate.

•Media scrutiny, invasive questions, and the survivors seeing their trauma turned into tabloid headlines.

•Cutting contact with one another to avoid the pain of shared memories, leaving each survivor isolated and deprived of the rare bond with people who actually understand what they endured.

•All of them wishing they could go back.

[sawtrappedirl]

I can’t explain it but I feel like this image just encapsulates Yellowjackets as a whole

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I keep giving characters I like guitars and I don’t know why

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Lottie Matthews, my beautiful Queen… I miss you so much

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Can’t get over how tough and apathetic Nat pretends to be until someone yells at her or expresses disappointment in her and suddenly she’s shrinking and crying and revealing herself to be the open, bleeding heart that she actually is.

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a character being morally bad doesn't erase their trauma as a reason for why they act the way they do and a character being traumatized doesn't always excuse them being a morally bad person because it is indeed possible for your fav/least fav character to be both a villian and a victim at the same time -I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT!?!?!

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Yellowjackets! Now in 8-bit!

Hello I decided to pick up a fun hobby and made what can maybe count as a filler ep for Yellowjackets between the end of season 1 and the beginning of season 2. Guide Natalie on a random day in the wilderness! Talk to people, trap animals, collect stuff, walk around.

It's all possible in browser, for free, so have fun!

Screenshots below for an impression

I made the character portraits and the more "drawn" backgrounds myself, but otherwise used resources listed in the credits both on itch and in the game.

[sawtrappedirl]

And if I said Lottie is the best-dressed character in Yellowjackets…

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jmart doodles from a few days ago

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if there is one thing I want re-animator fandom to know… it’s that dan sucks too. and I mean do what you want forever etc etc but I wish more people acknowledged how dan obviously lies to himself and blames herbert for like, ~seducing~ him into something in which he is utterly complicit, and how his anger at himself/guilt manifests in aggression (sometimes physical) towards herbert. he is a very emotional and flawed man and in this essay, I will

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FREAK ALERT !!

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I know pre-crash Lottie is considered hard to characterise because we don't get much time with her, and Lottie does go through a clear shift due to her grief and slipping into psychosis, but I do think we know enough. Ultimately, she's who she always was; outwardly confident, single-minded, idealistic, deeply caring, and desperate for people to open up to her, all whilst being hesitant to open up to them in return for fear of being rejected. We see it in the way she carries herself in the Pilot, in Nat saying she only talks shit when people deserve it, and, conversely, how lonely she appears in her family home. A child eating breakfast alone at dining room table meant for eight. Is it any wonder her room is full of photos of the team pre-crash, perhaps the closest thing she ever had to her idealistic understanding of family. She likely claims Shauna's baby as "ours" because of this same compulsion, a desire to finally have the family she's always wanted. Creates a community in her adult life, and pulls Nat into it because she knows Nat's alone too. Because she's always known Nat wants the same thing, a proper home; both of them identifying that truth in each other though they can't bring themselves to voice it. The only time Lottie even comes close to acknowledging it is when she asks Nat what she has to go home to.

All Lottie's ever wanted is to give the people she cares about what she believes they need, even if it's not what they want. Even if they might hate her for it. She cares too deeply to do anything less. I think it's been made clear, the wilderness didn't change any of them fundamentally, it just uncovered a truth or potential in each of them that was already present. Lottie's desire for family and community has always been at the root of almost every descision she makes, and that didn't start in the wilderness. Her relentlessness, desire to protect "her own", and ability to see fundamental truth, didn't start in the wilderness. Lottie has always been Lottie, with her core traits and desires exactly what they always were. She just expresses herself differently as her perception of reality changes.