scarsinmysoul

[scarsinmysoul]

i experienced things

and i showed myself how strong i was

getting higher from the lows is much higher than my goals

since i came from school i worried about my goals,

in life there is no role

instead of being on your own

fuck this man i cant deny it

all this pressure i refuse to deny it

all this time i got pressure but refuse to deny it

i opened up about past distractions

like killin pain with the liquor and fake friends to rely on

got me falling down from the crown i was hopin’ to see my life getting worse so i started doping

i didn’t like it like i used to

you know what i mean getting elevated

was nothing like it used to-

it is opposite from levitating

damn what my crush aint leveling up

but i thought you was the one who figured it out nigga

nobody leaving it up for money making

i cried myself to sleep dreaming how i could make it

thinking of the verses of gods people trying to fulfill their promises

do i really got a purpose?

goddamnit god fuck you well you know i didn’t mean it

man what is going on with these love songs bitch

everybody heart broken trying to find their own love song shit

its enough struggle already fighting the lows in my pose thinking i lost my cause..

i refuse to deny it i fucked up but watch the snakes conquer

thought i was the problem making my way to my own troubles

facing my fears to the old struggles

here i won yet again an

unappreciated goal

fuck this shit

I FUCKING WON !

I see them struggling with my eyes in disguise

wanted to help but you lost your sight

the truth hurts but i cant help

but face your own fears and it might help

“c’mon lets do this together” but i lost sight

of the fake friends and blessings in disguise

nigga you made it look in the sky.

its the cries for help that you know.

how come i didn’t appreciate that now

when all i wanted was for it to end now

i hear that all the time you can make it

but Lord HOW?

guidance can be fake and you guys know how

i fell down from the top star

i was safe yet experienced lifes pain

it does both

fuck you up and gives you chances

for the dances in the blessings

and in the same places

you saw your death sentence.

its easy fuck it up

but don’t start begging

when you clearly didn’t want to do better.

lifes hard yes i said that

my wife keeps dragging me down

but guess who said that

the toughest part in your soul who couldn’t breakdown so its us againt the truth

but guess what… how?

we wait for the shootback of honor

you cowards don’t deserve to have a boner

you guys make me laugh

on your selfish dishonor .

be quiet don’t disturb

im on my purpose and i start to know

why im put on this earth

all the crying makes sense now

i never loved to focuse on the truth of manipulative behavior.

now i got it fuck you and your selfish behavior’s

finally im done with my own toxic ways

i know your jealous its far worse

no more self explanation for what its worth

all yall people made it worse

cmon now child i dont want to worry

bout the tears falling down while i tell my story

fuck it all up and try it again it will never end.

fears & pain relax and struggle with grace.

gurl you got this it’s your soul that remains.

truthfully you never stopped shining because you are kept save. the angels the fates

is the real disgrace

stop waiting for help

prince charming

come and save me

out of this psychiatrie

he aint even real

fuck me

and these dreams

i gotte save ME

damn it fuck me

alcohol is leaving my vains

carefully

im shaking

but you cant stop me

my brain keeps remainding me

of the times men came too close to me

Flashbacks of the times when

it happened

….

2020

took my breath away

I keep remembering

and I want to drink my pain away

(i guess it was me

and i saw the world a little too blurry.

stop downplaying it

it was sexual abuse

i refused to believe it

scared of gods judgment

too understanding for nothing)

who took my innocence away?

2023 and it happened again

wtf did I do?

past life karma to deserve all of this too?

didn’t happen just twice

but four to five times!

I can heal it on my own

but the scars in my soul

they have fully grown

but no worries.

i can do it own my own

like a big furry

down to earth was never my stomp story

these stories I created were just words

because i was dissociated,

my pain brought me into dark toughts

that weren’t accepted

after giving so much love

I just wanted to cease existence!

Nobody believed me tho

I can do it like billie

“no time to die” was the opposite of living.

daddy never saw me feeling dead

suicidal thoughts but he doesn’t care

all my friends were stuck up in bed

i had nightmares,

questionable realities,

feeling tired but had enough sleep

the cycle in the streets

is what brought me closer to me!

Slow down honey and take the truth in

stop quetion your reality

remember who you are

me myself and i that’s what i have

god i am so fucking tired

please lift me up

aware that it will all come to an end

the question is

when?

I grew strong in this game

i wont let you win

struggled too much

in your manipulative games!

They went so far in this drama

making me believe that it is

my karma

in this life of lies

all this time

i just tried to survive.

i am a worrier,

fighting

my mind,

people,

energies

plus+

other entities

Solar Plexus needed something

i could feel it grow stronger as i opened up

about my hunger

fuck you narcissistic beings

that trapped me in being

anxiously unhappy with MY being!

Hypersensitivity is doing the most

y’all could never understand

that I feel the most!

Sucking on my energie

schizophrenic thats what they called me.

whatever

I will be me

and be happy

nothing like you weak enteties

trying to feed off of

good peoples energies!

Remembering how Cole said

Change it slow always has been

always will be but fuck that imma bust back

until they kill me

i say

change it slow always has been

always will be but fuck that imma speak up

until they kill me

feel me?

ShaNice was

nice

is nice

and will always

stay Nice

You can’t break my Spirit!

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

if you are reading this, something good will happen to you very soon, don’t give up

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

http://www.jackiehardt.com/1334643/red

[scarsinmysoul]

be nice to people because the world is a shitty place and we all need a little help sometimes

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

SpongeBob memes are my life in a nutshell

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

Kids (1995)

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]

some glo ups aint covered in make up and dipped in coconut oil. some are cold and wet in a strange way. some glo ups force you to throw away parts of yourself that no longer fit - no matter how long you’ve had them they. must. go. some glo ups leave you lonelier - wiser - but isolated. some glo ups are private.

[scarsinmysoul]

“Promise me not to hide yourself when you’re in pain, it’s unfair that we laughed together but you cried alone”

— Unknown

[scarsinmysoul]

[scarsinmysoul]