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The Rejects Pt:4

I will be driving most of the day but I wanted to pu something out today. So here is a little reject from the most recent chapter of Monsters In My Head. A little Barbara Howard x Reader moment that just was not the right type of angst for me.

Masterlist

212 words

-~-

She had learned to approach you just as cautiously as Melissa had. You turned towards her a small bite in your words.

“Why does everyone come up to me like I am some fragile doll that is about to break?”

Barbara cocked an eyebrow at you but you didn not apologize for the harshness in your tone only stared at her waiting for an answer. She was the first one to relent, “Darling I think you forgot how you came to us. Jumping at the smallest sound. Sometimes even screaming when someone approached you without notice. Other times devolving into tears if a noise was loud enough. It was impossible to get you to even talk about what was going on let alone acknowledge there was a problem.”

“I am sorry for snapping at you,” You apologized looking at the ground, “I am sick of feeling so weak all the time.”

“You are the furthest thing from weak sweetheart. I am sorry that we have been treating you like something breakable,” Barbara said coming to place a gentle shoulder on your hand, “We all see how much progress you have made. You are not the same woman who walked in these doors on the first day of school all those years ago.

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pinterest hates to see me coming

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Leaving My Love Behind

Summary: Mistakes happened, and you made a fool out of yourself and Ava. However, a piece of you is wondering how much longer you can hold onto the hope that Ava is going to love you in the way that you need.

Warnings: Angst

Pairings: Ava Coleman/Reader, Barlissa, Mom!Melissa & Reader, Mom!Barbara Howard & Reader

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Masterlist

2.5k

Lyrics in blue. Song below

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You had barely made it through your work day. All you could think about was how you had freaked out earlier that morning. Confronting Ava at her job was rude, you knew that deep down. You had even thought about apologizing once or twice. But you were so sick of wondering how she felt about you and if you were wasting your time. You had embarrassed her in front of your moms and her other coworkers, and you had also embarrassed yourself. It was a shitty situation all around that you had brought to the light. All it did was make you wonder how much longer you were going to let yourself get strung along by someone who wanted to keep you at arm’s length. You didn’t want to play this guessing game anymore.

By the time your work ended, you knew what decision you had to make. You needed a break. Some time alone to figure out what you wanted for yourself. When you got back home, you packed your suitcase with as many clothes from your shared closet as would fit. Your fingers ran across all of Ava’s elegant outfits, and you stopped at her bedazzled Harvard pullover. Without thinking, you pulled it on, inhaling the scent that was distinctly Ava. It broke your heart a little more, but you refused to take it off. You only needed it for tonight. One final night to hold her close. Then you would send it back. She wouldn’t even know it was missing. 

 You glanced around your shared apartment, taking a couple of key items that you would want until you could come back and collect the rest of your items. You had the book you were reading, a small toiletry bag, your pillow that you couldn’t sleep without, and a photo album that you kept tucked away in your nightstand. It wasn’t much, but it was some of the things that you couldn’t be without. You had limited time before Ava would be home, and all you wanted to do was get out and not deal with the stone-cold expression she would level at you.

On the table, you scrawled a note for Ava. You owed her some sort of explanation: 

I am so sorry about how I acted this morning. You did not deserve that, but  I am so tired of feeling this way. Like, I am the second choice in your world. That the love you have for me is physical only.  I deserve more than this. So, I was just wondering. Could you tell me, is it all a waste of time?Are you leaving my love behind? Baby, say the word and let me know. You gotta give me something. I swear that I won't try to change your mind.If you're leaving my love behind. Baby, say the word and let me go.

You took a moment before reaching for the door, looking at the life that you and Ava had created in the apartment. It had once felt like such a comforting home, but lately, it had felt more like a cage that you were trapped in. The pictures of both of you plastered on the wall seemed fake. The little projects that you had spent hours working on seemed one-sided. Even the flowers that Ava got you every week seemed like a cosmic joke now. Feeling like a fool, you made your way out the door to your car.

Tears started to fall as the silence filled the space around you, and it became harder to breathe. You were driving with no real picture in your mind of where you were going. Only driving off pure muscle memory at this point. You pulled into the driveaway just as you started to devolve into a full-blown panic attack. Your childhood home loomed in front of you, ready to embrace you in its familiar comfort. With a sixth sense, your mother always seemed to have she was already waiting with the door open. Leaning against the frame, she watched you with a protective glance, arms outstretched. You fell into her, letting her rub your back gently before placing a kiss on your forehead. She didn’t speak until she knew that you had calmed down.

“I’ll go get my bat and bust her car for ya,” Melissa said, finally pulling back to look at you wiping away a tear that was still sliding down your cheek.

“Mom,” You groaned, “You don’t even know what she did. I could be here for anything. Maybe it has nothing to do with Ava.”

Melissa raised her eyebrow with her typical mom glare,“After this morning, I know that it has everything to do with Ava. It doesn’t matter what she did my baby is crying and that is enough reason fo me.”

That was what you loved about your mom. She was willing to stand up for you no matter the scenario, even if you were in the wrong. You were her little cannoli, and the only thing that mattered was that you were loved and safe. Even if that meant a few windows had to be broken and people shaken down. Which she had made abundantly clear when you were getting bullied in high school. It was the perfect balance to your other mom who always wanted to know what happened. Break it down before any harsh decisions are made. Always making sure the fiery redhead was in check.

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Barbara said, rushing out from the kitchen over to her wife and daughter.

“I told you that she was gonna come,” Melissa replied smugly, “You owe me five dollars and a back rub later.

Barbara rolled her eyes at her wife before looking at you “What in the world is going on my sweet girl?”

“Bout to go break Ava’s window. Maybe slash a tire or two,” Melissa grinned, making for her car keys, but you and Barbara grabbed hold of her before she could move.

“Y’all really like to ruin my fun,” She huffed, which finally made you laugh.

At the sound of you perking up, she seemed to settle just enough to allow Barbara to take over. There was a tension in her shoulders that seemed to dissipate, and a breath that escaped her lips in a relieved sigh. A lifetime of close calls had always made her a little extra anxious when it came to your mental health. Barbara moved your hair behind your ear as you still clung to Melissa. 

“What is going on, baby?” She asked in a gentle whisper. “I don’t want to talk about it right now,” You mumbled, burying your head into Melissa’s chest. 

“But we are going to talk about it tomorrow,” Barbara insisted, “After you get some rest. You know the rules.”

And without argument, you agreed because that is how it worked with your moms. A system that had been built from flawed attempts and many therapy sessions. They gave you 24 hours when you didn’t want to open up about something before the interrogations began. It gave you time to coherently put together words and not feel overwhelmed that you couldn’t perfectly describe why you were upset. 

“I am sorry for ruining your night,” You said as you took in the living room with an open bottle of wine and the Real Housewives paused on the TV.

“Could never ruin anything if you tried, my love. This will always be your home, you know that,” Melissa said, leading you to the kitchen, “Let me heat you up some food. I made extra just in case, which is good cause yous look like you need some of Mama’s homecookin. I made ziti and Mom made dessert.”

You were anything but hungry, but you had come to learn to accept the food your mother gave you when you were upset. Taking care of you was her favorite thing to do, and food was her love language. She clearly had been anxious about you taking out the stress with an overflowing pan of ziti waiting to be put in containers. Plus, you had to admit that nestled in the couch between your two moms with a plate overflowing with ziti, you felt a piece of you calm down. It had been weeks since you had come to visit them, so caught up in work and date nights with Ava. Now it felt like making up for lost time. 

When your plate was empty and a couple of episodes had passed Barbara came out holding your phone. Ava was calling and clearly not for the first time. Notifications riddled your screen. You took the phone in your hands, unlocking it, skimming the first couple of messages. 

Where are you? I thought we could talk about what happened this morning. 

I just found the note. Please let me explain. Call me back please. 

Babe, I am worried. Come home. Come back. 

I love you so much. Don’t do this. We have to talk through this. This can’t be how we handle this. Call me. 

At least tell me you are safe. I am begging you.

The last message had come in only a couple of minutes before. You typed out a quick response: I am safe. I just need some time Ava. 

Ava’s response was immediate: How much time? I don’t want to do this without you. I can’t sleep without you. Come home please.

You didn’t respond, only turned off your phone, and placed it face down on the table. Melissa was watching you with a hawk eye. You took a shaky breath and stood up, wanting to get out of the room as quickly as possible. You gathered together your plates and the junk you had accumulated, rushing to the kitchen to throw them away. Your body was in pure panic, and you needed to get back to your safe place. 

From the hallway doorway you stuck your head out, “I am getting tired. I think I am going to head to bed. Goodnight Mama. Goodnight Mom. I love you.”

Before they could respond, you were up the stairs and in your childhood bedroom. Your moms had left it exactly the way you had it when you headed off to college. Queen-size bed shoved into a corner underneath a string of fairy lights that was mixed with a galaxy curtain that waterfalls around the sides. Squishmallows covered a good portion of the bed and hung in a hammock in two corners of the ceiling. Bookshelves lined the wall by your closet, filled with books, knick-knacks, and your favorite Legos. A desk with your gaming computer was across from your bed, funko pops lining the shelves. Pictures were hung without frames, creating a large collage in any open space. Scattered through them were photos of you as a baby growing up with Melissa, then photos of Melissa when she and Barbara first started dating as brand new teachers at Abbott Elementary, then more of the three of you on adventures together. You looked over at the photos quickly before collapsing face-first into your bed.

Tears stained your pillow as your body shook the weight of everything finally crashed down around you. You don’t know how long passed till there was a gentle knock and then your door swinging open. You knew it was Melissa before she said anything her smell so familiar to you. She laid down next to you, her shoulder pressed against yours and let the silence envelope you both. Finally, when it all became to much you moved to lay your head in the crook of her neck. Draping one leg over her hips and the other around her stomach, you curled yourself into her. She pulled a blanket up around you and held tight, trying her best to hold together your broken pieces like only a mother could do. 

“I got you bambina,” She whispered against your hairline, “I got you.”

Downstairs, there was a frantic knock on the door. Barbara was finishing up the last couple of dishes when she heard it echo through the empty bottom floor. She looked through the peephole. Ava was standing outside, pacing from foot to foot with your college hoodie, holding her. Makeup was smeared across her face, and it was clear she was distraught. 

“Sweetheart,” Barbara said opening the door, “Are you okay?”

“She is here, right?” Ava asked, looking pass the older woman in the door.

“Yeah she is,” Barbara confirmed but still didn’t move, “Before you ask I don’t know what happened. She isn’t talking yet.”

“I do love her, Barbara. You have to believe me,” She said frantically searching through all of her pockets. Finally, she pulled out a red velvet box. She opened it up to a large diamond ring. A waving band with jewels to create a crown that shimmered in the porch light, “I had this custom-made. It just finished last week.”

Barbara looked at the ring, and a future of grandchildren and family vacations was unfolding out in front of her. However, it was not her future to choose, “It is a beautiful ring, Ava, but you need to give her some time.”

Ava deflated closing the box, “I have to fix this Barbara. I can’t live without her.”

“You will figure it out sweetheart, I believe in you,” The older woman leaned out and took Ava into a hug. You would always be her daughter, and she would never admit it to Melissa, but she had fallen in love with you first. However, once you had fallen for Ava and Barbara got to see the softer side of the young woman, she had taken to her like a mother hen. Always giving her small hints here and there on how to win you over and keep you happy. 

Ava clutched onto the older woman, “I am sorry Mom.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Barbara soothed and let Ava cry until she was ready to go. 

Once Ava was safe back in her car and down the street the older woman went back into the house. With the door locked behind her she walked the stairs up to her bedroom. When she found that Melissa was absent from their bed she crossed the hall to your room. Opening the door gently she poked her head inside. A smile immediately crossed her face as she saw what laid before her. Melissa’s head laid against yours still wrapped in the blankets. It reminded her of all the times growing up that Melissa had crawled into your bed after a rough day or a vivid nightmare. Even after all these years you still needed your mothers and that is what warmed her heart the most. 

She walked across the room and placed a kiss on Melissa’s forehead. She let out a large yawn in response before settling back down. Leaning over she placed a kiss to your forehead as well. You stirred for a moment eyes opening slightly. 

“I love you Mom,” You whispered and within moments you were back asleep.

-~-

Tags

@writerspirit // @derpyavocado // @milfjuulpod // @panerasbox // @cupldscntrl

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I have been needing some inspiration for AvaMel fics so I have created a little Spotify playlist and finally feel confident in sharing it. More added when the right song hits. Some serious. Some funny. All AvaMel vibes imo

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Monsters In My Head: Chapter 7- Jealous

Summary: Melissa has always been quick to jealousy but it hard to figure out if the feelings are valid when a break is supposed to be taking place. It is about time for Melissa to figure out which has to give the break or the jealousy.

(If I post it before I go to sleep for the day I still consider this to be posted on time)

Previous Chapter- Next Chapter

Masterlist

Lyrics: I'm jealous of the rain //That falls upon your skin// It's closer than my hands have been // I'm jealous of the rain // I'm jealous of the wind //That ripples through your clothes //It's closer than your shadow //Oh, I'm jealous of the wind

2.k words

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The rest of the school day had gone by quicker than Melissa expected after you had woken her up from the impromptu lunch nap. Her head still pounded but there seemed to be subtle break in the tension that had grown between you two.There was still an awkwardness of all the words that were left unsaid but Melissa was clinging onto the small moments that she got from you. Like how you smiled at her at the end of the day when you went out for bus duty. 

While the students filed out Barbara took position next to her best friend, “I missed you at lunch today.”

“I ate.. Well mostly napped in Y/N’s room,” Melissa replied unable to contain the smile on her face.

“That is great MelBel. Everything is working out exactly as it should. Are you two finally going to work it out?”

Melissa stuttered over her words for a minute trying to explain, “Yeah I think we will. I asked her if we could talk a different day…” “Girlfriend,” Barbara chided, “How are you going to work through it if you just keep pushing these moments aside? You have to talk to her.”

“I know, I know,” Melissa protested, “But in my defense I was planning to just drop off her lunch and then leave but she caught me off guard. I figured she needed more time but I showed her my AA chip though and she said she was proud of me. Even called me her angel…”

Melissa cut herself off as she bit back tears. Crying to Barbara was one thing. Crying inside school was entirely different and something Melissa refused to do, “I ain’t an Angel Barb. Not even close especially when it comes to how I treated her. How I treated you.”

Barbara wrapped her arm around the redhead’s shoulder, “Even God’s angels were imperfect creatures. We all make mistakes and we hurt people. It is what we do to fix that hurt and prove that we can do better that matters. Y/N is showing you that she sees your imperfections and wants to give you a chance. Don’t ruin that chance by overthinking it.”

Melissa leaned her head on Barbara’s shoulders, “I am so lucky to have you in my life.”

“Now that is something that we can agree on,” Barbara laughed and Melissa smiled. Maybe the world could go back to normal. Or whatever her new normal was destined to be. 

-~-

The next morning Melissa woke with that familiar pang of longing. Your side of the bed still laid empty and even the pillow had lost your scent. She tried to remember the smile you had yesterday but was met with the way you cried in her kitchen instead. Melissa opened the nightstand and went to reach for her flask. It was gone but instead was replaced with a wooden picture frame with words Best Friends Forever etched into the bottom. The picture was from the Please Touch Museum where Barbara was describing all of the things that she loved about teaching. Melissa was looking at her a glimmer in her eye a smile etched on her face. She remembered the day fondly and all of the trouble they had gotten into together. Melissa also remembered what came shortly after this picture. You swatting a hot dog out of Janine’s hand when she was the only one that didn’t get sick from the carousel. 

The teachers were lined along the benches stomachs turning as the watched the carousel continue to spin in front of them. Barbara was leaned back staring at the ceiling waiting for the world to slow. Melissa held her head in her hands trying to remember how to breathe. You were tucked in between them one hand rubbing Melissa’s back the other one holding Barbara’s thigh supportingly. 

“I feel like I just got out of salad spinner,” Melissa moaned leaning further into you for support. You wrapped your arm around her pulling her tight against you. 

Just then Janine ran by hot dog in hand, “Hey guys, there is a guy over there that let you put cream cheese on your hot dog look.”

She stuck it towards your face and you swat it away. It tumbled to the floor and Janine looked at it exasperatedly, “That cost me four dollars.”

“I will give you the four dollars if you get that nasty thing out of my face,” You shot back.

Melissa laughed at the memory and tucked the photo back inside the drawer. It was one of the only days she felt like she could go home and not have to drink. Barbara must have left her little tokens like this all throughout the house to remember what she was doing all of this for. To get her family back and these moments of joy and laughter. 

With this encouragement in mind she dressed for work and grabbed her keys determined to give you a little surprise this morning. She pulled up outside your favorite hole in the wall coffee shope. Crystals hung from the ceiling in various colors and random tarot cards were painted across the dark purple walls. There were bookshelves that lined the walls putting the room into a cushion of silence and peacefulness that other coffee shops lacked. Melissa had spent hours tucked into a corner booth with you grading papers or watching you read.

She got into line to order your favorite coffee and was waiting for it when she heard a familiar sound. Your laughter had always caught her attention. Loud but not in a way that was annoying but made it clear that your amusement was genuine. She swiveled and found you in front of your favorite bay window. You were curled into the large arm chair Melissa’s favorite cardigan that she bought you wrapped around you. A smile lined your face as you looked at the person sitting across from you. 

A gorgeous woman with dark skin that shined in the morning light coming through the window. Twists were stacked high on her head held together by a grey headband. She was waring a simple red blazer pulled over a black tank top. Even across the coffee shop Melissa could tell that you were comfortable with her. An ease in your conversation as she leaned over to you holding up a chocolate croissant. You rolled your eyes before taking it and ripping a small piece off to eat. The woman laughed and Melissa felt the inside of her stomach twist. Jealousy coursed through her veins and Melissa almost missed the barista calling out her name. She grabbed the coffees doing her best not to smash the cup in her hand. 

What right did this woman have to talk to you? To make you laugh and smile? You were hers and Melissa was not about to let you go. She didn’t want a break. She wanted you. She stalked over to where you were sitting her heels clicking against the coffee shop floor. There was no rational thought in her brain as she siddled up next to you. 

“Y/N,” Melissa said through gritted teeth putting your coffee down on the table.

You looked over at her a shock expression that transformed into a shy smile, “Melissa this is my therapist Ouida. Ouida this is my girlfriend Melissa.”

Melissa’s jealousy was immediately erased as you reached out to take her hand. There was a humor in Ouida’s eyes as is if she knew the exact range of emotions that the redhead had gone through, “Melissa, it is so good to finally meet you. Y/N and I were just talking about what has been going on lately and there is something she wanted to ask you.”

You turned to shoot your therapist a death glare, “It was an off handed comment. Not something I thought we were putting out there right now.”

Ouida cocked her eyebrow at you and you growled before flipping her off. She laughed and Melissa’s final worries dissipated. How could she hate someone who had helped you through so much? Who pushed you to do things that made you nervous but in the end made you feel stronger. She was the person who was always in your corner even when Melissa couldn’t be.

You looked at Melissa but became anxious at the hopeful expression that played across her features. You glanced away at your lap, “Umm so Ouida and I were thinking that maybe it would be good for us to do couple’s therapy together. Just to talk and figure stuff out together. With Ouida…becuase I am more comfortable with her and I still don’t trust a lot of people after Kylee. But if you think that is a stupid idea…”

“I will do it,” Melissa said adamantly look between you and Ouida, “I would love to do it. Anything to help I am willing to do. Just tell me where to be and when.”

Ouida smiled, “Tomorrow my office down main street. You can’t miss it. Right after school. We can get started.”

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and Melissa squeezed your hand. You glanced up at her and for the first time in weeks you truly felt like the real Melissa was looking back at you. The one that you had fallen in love with that first day walking into Abbott. Ouida’s observance didn’t miss how you softened with Melissa next to you. The way you gravitated towards her as soon as her presence was known. Or the way that Melissa only had eyes for you the rest of the world fading away. A lifeline between your two souls intertwining through pain,love,hurt, and happiness. 

“It’s getting late you to should get to school,” Ouida mentioned breaking the trance that fell over the table.

“Can I walk you to your car?” Melissa asked and you nodded standing up, “Nice to meet you Ouida. I will see you tomorrow.”

You said your goodbye hugging Ouida close before Melissa led you from the shop. Her hand never left yours as you tried to breathe through the mixture of feelings that were building low in your chest. The hope that overlayed the anxiety that you had in what this all meant. If you really could take another chance on Melissa. Allow yourself to be open and vulnerable. But as you glanced at the redhead who was beaming at you the charm necklace you gave her still hanging around her neck you could see no other solution. Trusting Melissa was one of the only things that had ever felt right in your life. 

When you had reached your car Melissa stopped but refused to let go of your hand. She took a deep breath before she bluttered, “I don’t want to be on a break. I want to be with you. I know we aren’t perfect and we still have things to work out. But when I saw you sitting at that table with Ouida…I thought that you were with someone else and it killed me. I don’t want you to be with anyone else. Please. I just… I want to fix this. Please.”

You laid a gentle hand on her cheek and pulled her up to look at you, “Angel, I am here. I know what I said earlier and I am sorry. I don’t want that. I want to be with you. I just.. we need to work things. No break just…taking it slow.”

“One step at a time,” Melissa smiled placing a hand over yours, “I am never gonna give up on you. On us.”

You went to say something but bit down on your lip. Instead you leaned forward and kissed Melissa’s cheek, “I will see you at school.”

You opened the door and went to go inside but stopped, “Oh and Angel.”

Melissa quirked her eyebrow at you and you smirked, “Jealousy looks hot on you.”

The older woman laughed as she watched you pull away. The smell of you still lingered around her and for once the voices in Melissa’s head was entire silent. There was no one urging her to drink or reminding her of how she failed. Only a bright future that for once felt within her grasp.

-

Tags

@writerspirit // @casualfoxwitch // @panerasbox // @babytakeittothehead // @milfjuulpod // @yoyo-w // @cupldscntrl // @milfslvr // @liliapleasesteponme // @marvel210 // @derpyavocado

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REBLOG POSTS❗❗ COMMENT ON FICS❗❗COMPLIMENT FANART ❗❗LEAVE LITTLE NOTES IN THE TAGS❗❗ BOOKMARK FICS YOU LIKE❗❗ TELL AUTHORS WHAT YOU LIKED ABOUT THEIR FICS❗❗COMMENT ON DECADE OLD FICS ❗❗ADD YOUR OWN ANALYSIS IN LONG POSTS❗❗ENGAGE❗❗ INTERACT❗❗ BUILD A COMMUNITY ❗❗

While people don't post for engagement, it certainly doesn't do any harm..

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Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

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Ayeee!!! My favorite show is getting a reboot and I'm fucking here for it!

Good news and bad news (but only to like… five people):

My fic “Stop The World” (Chessy x fem!reader) was the first thing I wrote after a 10-year break from fanfiction. And while I loved returning to writing, it was rushed, a little jumpy, and I kinda wrote myself into a corner I can’t wiggle out of.

So, I’m officially discontinuing Stop The World.

BUT! Don’t panic (to the five of you who read it, I see you and I love you). I’m not abandoning the story. I’m actually rewriting it. Same characters, same feelings, same slow-burn ache, but I’m taking my time now, letting things breathe, and not sprinting straight into a wall.

It also has a new title:

✨ My House of Stone ✨

And the first chapter is already up on AO3 if you want to check it out.

Thanks for sticking with me while I figure it out.💛

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Okay but why was this so fucking cute? And so Melissa I can see it in my head now. I also absolutely would be terrified at all times so I'm putty for this. And we both would be yelling at the screen together pissed off the dumb ass bitch that ran towards the killer. 😂

ᯓ★ HORROR MOVIE NIGHTS ★ᯓ

she doesn’t scare easy, but she loves when you do.

melissa schemmenti

girlfriend reader

headcanons

NAVIGATION

Setting the Scene:

Melissa’s living room is your horror HQ. She's got a plush sectional with a throw blanket in that deep-school-red shade, wine on the coffee table, and candles flickering with an amber glow. It’s romantic, sure, but that’s not why you’re here—you’re here to be terrified together.

She insists on physical DVDs: no streaming. “It’s the principle,” she tells you, thumbing through her alphabetized collection of actual scary movies, not the fake jump scare shit. You're impressed by the depth of her collection: vintage Italian giallo films, ‘70s slashers, obscure psychological horror you’ve never heard of.

Movie Taste + Watching Habits:

She has zero patience for bad pacing. If the movie takes too long to get going, she’ll roll her eyes and talk loudly over it. “We get it. Your wife’s dead. Move it along.”

She LOVES practical effects. Think The Thing, Hellraiser, and Suspiria (the original). “See that blood? That’s real corn syrup and food dye. None of that CGI bullshit.”

You’re a little more squeamish, so she likes picking movies she knows you’ll squirm at—just so you’ll hide your face in her chest and clutch her arm. She lives for it. “Aw, baby, is it too much? Wanna watch ‘Hocus Pocus’ instead?” (Teasing you with a grin).

During the Movie:

She doesn’t jump at scares. Ever. But when you scream, she laughs, wraps an arm around your shoulder, and presses a kiss to your temple. “Jesus, babe. You’re cute when you’re scared.”

Melissa talks to the screen. Constant commentary. “Why would you go in the basement? Stupid.” You used to get annoyed, but now it just feels like part of the experience — and her commentary is funny.

If it’s a movie she’s seen before, she’ll purposely turn to you during key moments, watching your face instead of the screen. “Wait for it… Aaaand—yep. You jumped. Classic.”

Post-Movie Vibes:

She always asks if you want to sleep with the lights on—even though she knows you’re going to say yes. She never teases you for it, though. In fact, she leaves the bathroom light on “just in case.”

The best part for her is the aftercare. You’re jittery and clinging to her like a scared little kitten, and Melissa? She’s smug but sweet. Pulls you onto her lap, lets you bury your face in her neck, strokes your hair, murmurs, “Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt you, honey. I’m right here.”

If you're really spooked, she'll suggest a "palette cleanser" .. usually something comforting, like old Golden Girls reruns or an episode of Frasier, playing while she spoons you under the blankets.

Smutty Bonus Headcanons:

You being scared turns her on just a little bit. There’s something about you clinging to her, half-hiding behind her arm, asking her if she can stay close—that lights a fire in her stomach. "You scared, baby? Lemme make you forget about that monster under the bed."

If you jump during a particularly tense scene, she’ll tug you into her lap and whisper, "I gotcha. You’re safe with me, sweetheart." But her hands might wander, stroking your thighs while you’re still shaking just a little.

Sometimes she’ll turn horror night into foreplay on purpose. Picks the movie with the creepiest music just to get you curling into her chest, and then afterwards? She’s got you under her, saying, “Think you’ll be able to sleep now, or do I gotta wear you out first?”

Little Things She’d Say:

“What, that scared you? That was nothing, baby. Wait ‘til you see the next scene.”

“You’re lucky I’m here, y’know. You wouldn’t last five minutes in a haunted house without me.”

“Ohhh no, you’re not sleepin’ in your own bed after that. Get your ass in mine.”

[schemmentisimpasours]

Simping for Schemmenti: Chapter 18- Ringing In The New Year

Summary: Winter break is flying by and while you have your head in the clouds with Melissa Ava has seemingly disappeared from your life.

Warnings: Some angst

Masterlist

Previous Chapter- Next Chapter

3.4k

~-~

The time between Christmas Day and New Years Eve passed in long stretches of naps with Bruce curled up between Melissa and you. Other moments were spent reading books tucked away in different parts of the houses Melissa diving into the Bridgerton series like a woman possessed. She even forced you to watch the series on Netflix pointing out all the flaws between the adaption. You loved seeing this nerdy side of her grown up from the young child that struggled to read to the beautiful woman binging a book a day. You had even gotten her to talk about some of it on your TikTok page giving out helpful hints for those who were also struggling with dyslexia. She only did it if you were right next to her holding her hand encouraging her on but you had caught her more than once reading the comments and smiling to herself. On the warmer days Melissa and you walked around the neighboorhood Bruce pulling you along as he bounded through the snow. Worried that he might get cold Melissa had purchased him a winter coat in 3 different sizes in case he started to grow quickly. Which of course he did and soon more winter coats were on the way. 

Other days you were curled up on Tara’s couch with Melissa on one end and your sister on the other screaming over Mario Party and who cheated at the mini game. It had always been a tradition to play with Ava on your extended breaks but she had been surprisingly absent. Dodging phone calls and barely answering text messages. You had even gone as far as to go to her house to see if she was okay. It was the day before your scheduled sister date and she had yet to confirm that she would be able to come. You waited for ten minutes pounding on the door and calling but there was no answer. Finally you pulled your keys from your pocket and opened the door. Ava always entered your house unannounced when you were living alone and had even done it a couple of times when you had moved in with Melissa. However never once had you encroached on her apartment in that way. Always waiting for her to let you in. It just wasn’t your style but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

You entered the apartment and noted all of the subtle changes that had been made. Typically it was a disaster with clothes, makeup, and empty PO boxes scattered across every available surface. Takeout containers would have been dotted through random spots mixed with tupperware containers that Melissa had given her. Some would call it messy but you called it Ava’s organized chaos. Everything had its place and she knew exactly where everything was. However as you called out her name it was surprisingly empty. Like things had been removed and the space decluttered. This fear was only confirmed when you went into Ava’s spare room that she used as her filming studio. Stacked high along the walls were boxes labeled in Ava’s neat handwriting noting which room they would go into. You pulled your phone from your pocket dialing her number and groaning as it immediately went to voicemail.

Ava, it’s Y/N. You know your sister and your best friend in the whole wide world. I am in your apartment right now. I have been calling and trying to get ahold of you for days. What the fuck is going on? Are you moving? Where are you? Please just call me back okay. I am worried…I love you Av Ev… just call back. 

You looked at the boxes one finally time before your eye caught onto something on Ava’s desk. You moved over to it picking up the picture frame that was covered in glue stains that used to hold gold and silver glitter. After years of transporting from space to space it had faded against the black background. The words written in white could still be seen clearly however: Friends by chance. Sisters by choice. A picture of you and Ava around thirteen years old laying in a bed covered with bright pink zebra (her bed). Your face was half in the photo a small smile on your face with Ava’s head resting on your shoulder tongue sticking out in a pure grin. You traced the outline of the glass in the picture frame and there was a sinking feeling in your stomach. Something was wrong. 

You pushed these thoughts out of your mind and waited for the call. The next day when you arrived at Tara’s house arm full of long pillar candles of various shapes and sizes there was a tension that soaked into the day. It had been Janine’s idea to do candle painting and since it was her first sister date everyone had agreed. Melissa had one hand wrapped in Bruce’s leash and the other was holding a bag of various colored tea candles. You turned around to scan the driveway once again.

“She will come baby,” Melissa reassured you but even she had a hint of hesitation in her voice. She had also tried to get ahold of Ava with no success and had roped Barb in on her efforts.

“Don’t hold your breath about that or you will drown waiting,” Tara commented as she opened the door making you jump, “She texted me thirty minutes ago saying something came up and she can’t come.”

“Did she say why?” Melissa asked as red hot anger flashed across her face. 

You leaned over to gently kiss her cheek, “She will tell us when she is ready. Guess she isn’t ready yet. Let’s just enjoy our day.”

You almost told them right then what you had discovered in her house. The boxes that held so many secrets but you were interrupted by the sounds of Janine’s heavy breathing as she rushed up the stairs. You turned towards her as she held a bag from the local liquor store. Her excitement was vibrating through the air and you couldn’t help but smile. 

“You really need to get your breathing checked Janine,” Melissa smirked as Bruce sent small licks along the young woman’s exposed ankles. 

“I thought it was going to start without me,” She confined as she leaned down to pat the dog’s head. 

“We would never start without you,” Tara smiled, “You are part of the crew now. We wait for everyone to begin. So now the four of us are here we can start.”

Janine didn’t seem to question the absence of Ava and followed your sister inside of her house. Melissa released Bruce who immediately ran off to find the other dogs. Once he was gone she grabbed your hand and pulled you close. She placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, “Are you okay my love?”

“Yeah,” You said leaning into her embrace, “How could I not be? I am the future Ms. Schemmenti after all.”

Melissa laughed but it didn’t escape her notice that you sidestepped the true question. She let it go for the moment following you into the dining room to drop of the supplies. With a kiss on the cheek she rushed off to the kitchen to prepare dinner with Tara. You were joined moments later by Janine who held two drinks in her hand. She extended one towards you and you accepted it gratefully. Taking a large drink you slammed down the cup on the table.

“You upset Ava isn’t here?” Janine observed moving to sort the tea candles out by color.

“That obvious?”

“You two are inseparable  like me and Jacob… where you are Ava typically follows,” Janine shrugs, “I don’t even think you notice it but Ava attends work school functions to be by you. To gossip and joke with you. To support you.”

You smiled a million memories of Ava and you laughing tucked in the back corner of events flickered through your mind. It hurt your heart now as the distance between your best friend seemed to grow. You shoved these thoughts away and asked Janine random questions about how her break had been. When the food was done and candle painting began you smiled in the right spots laughed when needed but it all felt so far away. Like you were on the outside looking in.

“I'm throwing a New Years Eve Party at my house…I was wondering if y’all would like to come,” Janine asked timidly looking down at the table.

“Of course we will be there kid,” Melissa said before tossing a handful of popcorn at her, “You are one of the family now. Janine laughed before throwing popcorn back at Melissa and the dining room devolved into pure chaos. Popcorn flying around the room the dogs running around to pick up the scraps. You watched it all unfold and there was only one thought on your mind- Why isn’t Ava here?

You tried to contact her over the next couple of days before the party with no response. You were pissed by the time the party rolled around and Melissa was doing everything in her power to get your mind off of things. Her hair was curled falling down her light colored blazer that covered her light gold sequined shirt. She had her normal stack of necklaces all the way down to her cleavage and large hoop earrings. Black leather pants hugged all of her curves down to her doc martin boots. She was sitting on the counter in the bathroom next to you as you finished the final touches of your makeup.

She held out her left hand turning it from side to side, “You know I think my outfit is missing something. If you tell me where my engagement ring I can go grab it. You dont’ even have to move. I think it would really pull it all together.”

You laughed sliding yours off your hand and placing it out her outstretched finger. A look of horror crossed Melissa’s face as you kissed the top of her hand, “There an engagement ring.”

“No! Absolutely not,” Melissa yelped sliding it back on your hand, “You know that is not what I meant at all.”

“Oh I know,” You smiled placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, “But I also told you that the only way you are getting that ring is when I am down on one knee.”

Melissa let out a large hmpf before crossing her arms in an adorable pout. You only giggled and walked from the room, “Better hurry or I will have to kiss someone else at Janine’s party when the clock strikes twelve.”

“HELL NO!” Melissa yelled and the two of you raced down the steps more laughter falling from your lips. 

Right before you got to the door she pulled you in by your waist turning you until you faced her. She walked you backwards till your back was against the wood and leaned in until her lips were right next to your ear. You shivered at the contact arms pulling her in closer to you. 

“The only person who gets to gets to kiss you is me,” Melissa growled.

“Only you,” You promised, “I am yours.” Melissa backed off with a smirked and crashed her lips into yours. Your breath came in gasps and you felt light headed by the time she pulled away. You couldn’t believe that this was going to be the woman that you were going to spend the rest of your life with. And as you drove to Janine’s party you felt like you were walking on clouds. 

  Janine’s apartment had upgraded since her and Jacob had moved into a two bedroom closer to Abbott that they split the rent on. She had transformed it into a fairytale with lights and flowers hanging from the ceiling. A large table was filled with snacks and drinks and music was already flowing through the speakers when you arrived. Your eyes first locked on Barbara and Tara who were already locked into a conversation. Melissa kissed your cheek and then walked to go calm Janine and get drinks.

You grabbed the cup from you sisters hand and she turned to smile at you. You wrapped your arm around her, “Whatcha drinking sis?”

“Nothing fancy,” She replied and you took a drink straight soda flooding down your throat. 

You quirked an eyebrow at her but before you could ask questions Melissa was pulling you to the makeshift dance floor. She held you close and you nuzzled your head into neck. The rest of the world washed away and the only thing left was this moment. Heartbeats in sync and all your worries washed away to nothing. Minutes trickled into hours as you got lost in her.

“I love you Ms. Schemmenti,” Melissa whispered in your ear, “I shall love you until the end of time.”

“I love you Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti. Now fucking kiss me,” You smiled.

The New Year countdown sounded around you and at the count of one Melissa smashed her lips into yours. You clung to her blazer as her fingers wrapped through your hair. You were buzzed off the alcohol flooding through your system and the intoxication of everything that was Melissa. When she finally pulled away you eye caught onto a movement by the front door. The long tan trench coat was unmissable with the red and black hair that laid along the back. 

“I have to go catch Ava,” You said and ran out the door into the cold night air. 

Ava was already half way down the street by the time that you caught up to her. You gently grabbed her arm right about the elbow, “Ava, I have been trying to talk to you all week.”

Ava turned on her heel to look at you and you expected to see her usual grin but there was nothin. Just a hard pressed line across her lips.She pulled her arm away and you took a step backward like you had been slapped. 

“I have been calling.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ava shruggged.

You clenched your hands at your side, “Is that really all you have to say? You could have been dead or kidnapped.”

“You watch too much true crime shows,” She said with a harshness in her tone. 

“Did I do something to you to hurt you? You seemed fine at Christmas and then you just kind of went off grid… I just am worried about you,” You wrapped your arms around you old insecurities starting to crawl up your skin. 

Ava softened only slightly as she caught on to the signs of your discomfort, “Nah, I just… am working through some shit right now.”

“Let me help,” You stated reaching for her hand.

“Why do you think I always need savin?” Ava spatted and you raised your eyebrows in confusion, “Just let me handle my own shit for once.”

“What.. when.. I am so confused. I am not saying that you need saving or that you aren’t capable of doing it on your own. We just have always done this type of stuff together.”

“Yeah we used to…” Ava trailed off visibly biting back her next comment. 

“What do you mean we used to? We still do,” You argued, “Just cause I am with Melissa know doesn’t mean that I am not here with you. For you. You know that.”

“Listen I don’t have time to do this right now,” Ava mentioned pulling out her phone, “My ride is almost here.”

“Then when is going to be the time Av. You are telling me something is wrong and I have no idea how to fix it or what to do. But also not giving me the chance to figure out how to fix it,” You declared anger rising in your voice.

Your best friend looked at you fire in her eyes, “Stop trying to fix everything.”

“Then what do you want me to do?” You begged, “I miss my sister. My best friend.”

“I am NOT your sister.”

And that is when you felt it. Your heart shattering and the floor falling out from beneath your feet. You clutched at your chest bunching your shirt in your hand. Tears fell down your face in a mixture of rage and sadness. Ava’s face broke for a moment and you could see she felt it to. The axe that she had used to shatter the bonds that once held you together. 

“You don’t mean that,” You stuttered choking on your own tears.

Before Ava could respond Tara was at your side and Melissa was wrapping her hand around your waist. Tara held a gold and silver wrapped box in her hand and you could see her motherly instincts clicking in as she looked between you and Ava, “What is going on?”

You spit out your next statement without thinking, “I caught Ava packing up her apartment to move. I went to talk to her about it and but apparently I am not her sister anymore.”

Ava’s fingers curled into a fist as she took a step towards you. Melissa growled nails digging in your hip. But it was Tara who stepped forward shielding you. A hand floated to her waist as she stared at the younger woman, “Av… you are moving?”

Ava shrugged her fighting attitude falling to the death glare that Tara was giving her, “Moving to Chicago…to be with my dad.”

That is when he approached out from his Rolls Royce parked on the curb. He smiled at Ava walking slowly with his cane, “Sweetheart, are you ready to go? We have to catch our flight if you want to get to that lease signing on time.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” You pratically screamed, “You found an apartment already… by that scum bag? You abandoned you and left you to die in that house with your mom. You chose him?”

“He didn’t abandon me. He was just getting settled and then he was going to come back for me,” Ava explained a desperate plea in her voice. You could see young girl who used to sit on the edge of your bed and cry for her dad. The one that still had hope he would come for her, “By the time that he came back.. Tara forced him into a guardianship that he didn’t want.”

“Me? Oh so you grown now and think you are going to tell me what I did and did not do,” Tara cackled, “I had to chase that man down while you were at summer camp with Y/N. Take time off work to go to his sorry ass and beg him to be involved. To at least call you. Maybe send a letter. He laughed at me. LAUGHED AVA. And said that there was no proof that you were his. That your mother was a whore and probably got confused in her coked out haze. He made me pay him 2 grand to sign the guardianship papers. I had to dip into my savings for you and Y/N’s college fund to pay him. PAY HIM. Then after all this time he tries to show up and you choose to believe HIM.”

Ava looked at her dad searching for answers that he hid behind a shrug. She the turned to Tara a panic setting in her face, “Look Mom…”

“Oh no. Don’t call me that,” Tara said her voice breaking, “You made it clear that you don’t think of me and Y/N as family.”

Tara turned but then looked back at Ava one final time, “You won’t be needing this since clearly you aren’t family anymore.”

She threw the box on the ground stomping it once with her foot. She ran down the sidewalk the opposite direction feet crunching in the snow. You looked at Ava your tears now turning to bitter and pure hatred. 

“Go fuck yourself,” You spat and took off after your sister. 

Melissa stayed only for a moment shaking her head, “What have you done Ava?”

“Mel..”

“No.. go run off with daddy dearest.”

Ava slammed her eyes shut pushing back the tears that threatened to spill out. She leaned down taking the smashed box in her hand. Peaking out through the wrapping paper was the actual present. A small baby onesies that read Baby Girl Coming June 2026. Hi Auntie Ava. Feel Free to Freak Out Now. Ava clutched the onesie to her chest and finally let the tears fall. 

-

Taglist

@yoyo-w // @panerasbox // @cupldscntrl // @derpyavocado // @milfslvr // @babytakeittothehead // @liliapleasesteponme // @marvel210 // @milfjuulpod // @writerspirit

[schemmentisimpasours]

@milfjuulpod this is you

Every unhinged fic writer needs an equally unhinged friend who "yes ands" their ideas and encourages them to write all their most far fetched and insane stories.

[schemmentisimpasours]

I'm so over this week and it truly just started. I get out of the store to find both of my driver's side tires are fucking flat. One I knew was gonna need replace the other took me by damn surprise. Which now I'm out $50-$100 bucks to get the shit replaced and one patched. It held to get me home... but practice an hour awhile in a thunderstorm. There was no way. All I wanted was a fucking hug from my sister. Why is the right choice so hard sometimes? Oh and of course my tryouts are on Thursday and I still don't know if I have a car to make it there (luckily my friends didn't raise no bitch and I know how to change a tire). BUT I DONT WANT TO. And now I haven't skated in weeks into tryouts that I don't even know if I'll make. Awesome. So cool. Then the lovely cheeto president may make me jobless in September and I get I work non profit so my job is truly never guaranteed but are we serious.. ON THE SAME DAY!! And my old roommate was a passive aggressive dick over a disney plus login. I just.. can't. I'm so tired of trying to have it all together all the time.

[schemmentisimpasours]

(Source)

This is EXACTLY why we beg y’all to boycott HP, especially the reboot. Anywho, gonna take advantage of the tag inevitably trending by listing pro-LGBTQ+ groups to support and invest:

Mermaids

The Trevor Project

InterACT

The National Black Justice Coalition

Lavender Phoenix

Black AIDS Institute

GLAAD

National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center

Lambda Legal

Queer the Land

Act Up NY

Human Rights Campaign

FOLX HELP

Feel free to add more charitable organizations below! Oh and one more thing: DO NOT HARASS THE KIDS CAST ON THAT SHOW, or you’re equally as bad as Jowling-Knowling-Rowling.

[schemmentisimpasours]

You ever want to read fanfiction but you also want to read books but you also want to lego but you also want to play video games. Then there are just so many things you want to do that you feel like you can't do anything at all? Cause that is where I am at right now. My brain is tired and there is not enough time in the day.

[schemmentisimpasours]

my fave writing reminder

honestly, this phrase has been on my mind more times than i can count. i've kidnapped it, taken it as a hostage with no ransom money because i need it to live permanently in my head.

[schemmentisimpasours]

Monsters In My Head- Chapter 6: Don't Give Up On Me

Summary: Melissa is working hard to get you back with the help of her friends and a push to be herself. The angst is finally breaking

Warnings: Alcoholism hinted at, Nightmares hinted at

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

Masterlist

2.6k

Lyrics: I'll reach my hands out in the dark and //Wait for yours to interlock //I'll wait for you, I'll wait for you

PS- I'm back bitches! I missed writing but I needed the break. Also do I edit anything? Not really no

~-~

Melissa couldn't sleep all night, voices echoing in her head, making a constant hum of anxiety buzzing underneath her skin. She wanted a drink. So badly that it shook her body. Making her cold to the bone, no amount of blankets warming her the way that amber liquid would. But she stayed in bed because she knew if she got up she would keep going until the familiar embrace of the bar met her. She clutched her phone in her hand the time, 3 am, looking harshly up at her. Her lock screen was still you smiling up at her and she opened up the photo app to scroll. Her finger immediately stopped on one photo.

You had been walking through downtown Philly trying to find some place to eat after the annual budget meeting with the district. It had been a somber event as it usually was and the usual cheer felt absent in the sunny day. You were holding Melissa’s hand your thumb skimming across her palm. A million words flowing through the action unsaid. Until something caught your eye and your hand was gone and you were running down the street. Melissa stared on in confusion until Janine yelled BUBBLES and took off after you. 

Barbara shook her head and the two older woman followed behind a couple of minutes passing before they finally caught up. Janine was talking excitedly to the store owner holding a large Bluey bubble wand. But you were outside smile broad as you danced among large floating bubbles that were coming down from a fan placed high on an awning. You were doing your best to move between the small globes not letting them pop and you looked absolutely ridiculous. But also ridiculously happy.

“Your girl is quite the spectacle sometimes,” Barbara laughed accepting your outstretched hand. 

You pulled the older woman close dipping her low as you both laughed. The day washed away and Melissa was pinned to this singular moment. Her best friend and her girlfriend dancing on the street bubbles popping against their skin. Rings of water dotting their clothing and a smile that could light up the night sky. Melissa pulled her phone from her pocket and snapped this moment to be frozen in time forever. As the shutter clicked there was only one thing Melissa could think. 

I am going to love this woman forever. 

Because marriage was not something Melissa believed in anymore. It was paperwork and vows that could get shoved aside when it suited the traitor. But purposely choosing to spend a lifetime with a person. To love every version that had come before and was yet to be. That was hardwork. That was undying love. And Melissa was willing to sacrifice everything to have that life with you. 

Tears dotted the picture of you and Barbara and Melissa hurried to wipe them away. She needed something to fill the silence. She pulled up her contacts and clicked on the first contact she could find. She hesitated for only a moment before she clicked the call button. One ring. Then two went through before it was picked up. 

“Couldn’t sleep Red?” Ava asked letting out a small yawn.

“Shit sorry, were you sleeping? I can just wait till tomorrow.”

“Stop that shit,” Ava tsked, “I told you I was here for you. Now tell me what is going on. What has got your demons playing around in your brain now?” 

“What if people don’t love me when I am sober? Like I become so different that people leave ya know? It is has been such a part of who I am I don’t know who I can be without it. Does that person even exist anymore?” 

There was a ringing in Melissa’s ear and she pulled the phone away. Ava was facetiming her. She accepted the call to a  dim lit room with purple led lights turned on in the background of Ava’s screen. The younger woman was laying in her bed a red silk bonnet contrasting the black sheets she laid on. This was a side of Ava that Melissa did not expect to see. Makeup washed off there was a softness to her face that she had never seen before. She wasn’t able to dwell on it long as Ava broke the silence that had blanketed them.

“Damn Red do you not have any lights in your room at all?” Ava asked staring into the black screen. Melissa leaned over to turn on the lamp on her bedside table and Ava smiled as the redhead came into full view, “I needed you to see my face when I tell you this. The people who don’t know how to love you sober should have no right to love you at all. Sure you are going to be different but that doesn’t mean you aren’t you Melissa Ann Caterina Schemmenti. IN fact you may be more Schemmenti when you ain’t drowning yourself under alcohol. You have to give yourself a chance to be that person first.”

Melissa didn’t stop the tears that rolled down her face, “That feels impossible right now.”

“I know Red, but we gotta take it one day at a time,” Ava comforted, “Now let’s watch some Survivor.”

Melissa didn’t argue when Ava switched to her computer and shared her screen. The most recent season scrolled across the TV and Melissa curled tighter around her pillow. The show played across the top of her phone and Ava tucked into her own pillow was across the bottom. She may not have been in the room with the older woman but Melissa felt a calming presence just being able to see another person. Someone to outdo the demons that were already in her head. Within a couple of moments Melissa fell asleep. Ava stayed awake a couple moments longer making sure that the redhead was absolutely asleep before she closed the eyes letting the narration of Survivor lull her into sleep. 

~-~

You stood outside the school doors a million thoughts swirling in your head when a familiar scent of flowers and something distinctly Barbara surrounded your senses. She stood next to you in silence and you felt an ease come over your body.

“Is she okay?” You asked, already dreading the answer.

“She is doing better. We got rid of all the alcohol in the house and I took her to a meeting,” Barbara said as you both continued to look at the bricks of the building.

Tears of relief fell down your face without warning, “Thank you for being strong enough to do what I couldn’t.”

“You noticed the problem before I did and I have known that woman for over 30 years. I believe I should be thanking you,” Barbara sighed and laced her fingers through yours, “All that matters is she is getting help now.”

“She deserves the world.”

Barbara turned to you wiping her thumb across your falling tears, “She does but I think that you forget that you do too. You are worthy of this world and so much more sweetheart.”

You let out a wobbly smile, “I'm trying.”

“And I'm so proud of you,” Barb reassured, squeezing your hand, “I think sometimes you get so caught up in that beautiful brain of yours that you forget how far you have come. Take a minute to appreciate all of your journey, not just the hard part you are stuck on now.”

You let her words wash over and comfort those parts of you that felt shattered. You had come far. Further than you ever thought was physically possible at times. Yet there were still moments that rocked you to the core. Putting the earth’s rotation at a harsh angle. Forcing you onto your knees and just a little piece of you was so tired of fighting. Of getting back up again and again when all you really wanted to do was lay down and let the rocks crumble over you. But in this moment you let Barbara lead you through the doors. 

Once inside you noticed Melissa down the hall doubled over head in her hands. Without thinking you rushed to her leaning down so that you could wrap one arm around her back. Barbara watched as she leaned against the front desk. The break between you two seemed to be shrinking with each day. It was only a matter of time before things could be set right again.

"They are going to be okay," Barb smiled.

"They sure are," Ava affirmed, making Barb jump at her sudden appearance, "Want to see the new one?"

"Absolutely," The older woman said with sudden interest and Ava placed the coin inside of her palm. Barb turned it over in her fingers, warmth radiating from her as she smiled at Ava, "I'm so proud of you sweetheart. You have come so far."

"Thank you mom," Ava grinned returning her nine month chip to her pocket, "You brought her to my meeting because you knew I would sponsor her, didn't you?"

Barb shrugged, "I had hoped.

Ava only shook her head before walking back to her office. Barb let out a small chuckle before sparing you one more glance. Melissa had fallen into your embrace, her hands still covering her face shielding her from the outside world.

“Melissa,” You said, letting your fingers trace a small circle along her back, “What is going on?”

Melissa stood shakily with  her eyes still closed as she rubbed her temples. The headache from the night before has multiplied and settled between her eyes, “Have these lights always been this bright?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I knew they said the withdraw would come with some light sensitivity and headaches but fuck I don't know if I can teach like this,” Melissa groaned.

You dug through your bag and pulled out a bottle of Aleve, “Here take this. It will at least take some of the edge off.”

As Melissa took the bottle you dug back in, pulling out two more items. A bottle of Dr. Pepper and a banana were in the hand you stuck out to Melisssa, “Caffeine to help the process and a banana to help calm down your stomach.”

The older woman hesitated before grabbing the items, “What are you going to eat?”

“Muffin in my bag,” You assured her and Melissa cocked her eyebrow, “I promise I am eating.”

"Thank you.. for everything," Melissa said the tension between you two pulled so tight it felt like a constraint against her throat, "I have to meet with Ava but maybe... we can see each other at lunch."

"Yeah maybe," You replied with a small smile, "See you later Mel."

Melissa nodded, not wanting to push it any further. She watched as you made your way to your classroom. Inhaling deeply she clung onto the last of your presence before making her way to Ava's office. 

~-~

Melissa stepped into her classroom already dreading turning on the abrasive overhead lights. But instead of the headache inducing buzz she was met with a subtle glow. Hung across the ceiling were strands of fairy lights that illuminated her desks. Towards the back reading corner was a lamp that matched the one next to her desk. Sitting among her organized clutter was a bright orange sticky note. She took it in her hand and smiled as she read:

Had some spare lights. Take it easy Mel.

She knew your handwriting immediately and traced the letters with her fingers. Melissa didn't realize how much she had craved your old notes. You used to leave them all over her house and desk. They were always little reminders of you and often came with bits of motivation that kept Melissa going. She took this new note and placed it gently in her top drawer. It was overflowing with notes and cards that you had give her. All Melissa wanted to do was take them out and read them but just then the bell rang. She flinched at the sound ears already ringing before the day even started. But as the children streamed into the room Melissa focused on the hope that was blooming in her chest.

~-~

Notes to Melissa 

I often wonder if we think of each other at the same time. Probably have because I think about you all the time.

Today sucked. I wish I could lay my head in your lap, watch shitty tv, and tell you all about it while you play with me hair… see you at 5pm.

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

You’re the only person I want to fall asleep next to.

If we were on survivors blood v water I would take your place on redemption island

~-~

Melissa opened your door and a pang hit her heart as she found it empty. She tried to not let the sadness fill her as she made her way to your desk. She was about to place down your lunchbox when something caught her eye. Back underneath your computer was the dolphin Melissa had given you. Dragging her finger across it Mel tried to let it fill her with confidence. That you still believed in her even after everything that happened. She went to turn and leave but jumped as she saw you leaning against the frame.

"I didn't pack a lunch today," You laughed, shaking your head, "I didn't wake up early enough because my routine is so used to you bringing it instead. Then I went to the break room and you weren't there so I got this instead."

You held up a bag of chips and for the first time in days Melissa laughed, "That ain't gonna fill you baby."

Mel's breath caught at the nickname and waited for you to deny her but you only moved to your desk. You unzipped the lunch box and dug through the contents, "You spoil me Mel."

"Anything for you," She said as she moved towards the door.

"Have lunch with me," It was a mix between a question and a statement but Melissa could see the fear of rejection behind your eyes.

"Can we eat here?" She asked, pointing at the lights, "Still can’t do all the lights."

You nodded and pulled up a chair next to yours. Melissa beamed as she sat down unloading the contents from her own lunchbox. As you got settled she placed down the rainbow chip. You looked between the colorful lettering and her tears coating the corners of your eyes.

"I'm so proud of you Angel."

The nickname stung because in Melissa's eyes she was anything but an Angel. You seemed to read her thoughts because you reached for her hand and squeezed, "You are my angel."

Melissa let tears she didn't know she held fall down her cheeks. You wiped them away with the pad of your thumb and rested your forehead against hers. Minutes passed in silence Melissa steadying her breath to match yours. There was so much to say but no way to put it into words that could capture every emotion that pulsed through the air. It was all too much and not enough at the same time. 

"I'm not giving up on you angel," you whispered and Melissa squeezed her eyes shut to quell another round of tears.

"I know I said we should talk... but for today can we just eat?" Melissa asked a quaver in her voice, "I just need to hold onto this for a moment longer."

"Of course," You commented and placed a gentle kiss along her hairline.

You turned back to your table and began to eat the food Melissa brought. Something about the red head pressed against you eased your anxious stomach and for the first time since that night you actually ate. Melissa took only a couple of bites before she rested her head against your shoulder. Within moments the silence that had surrounded you was filled her her gentle snores as she slept.

-

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