schizosamwincester

[schizosamwincester]

Happy wincest Wednesday!

I haven't been sending you these because you aren't really that much of a wincest poster. But. Screw it. These aren't even about wincest half the time anyway. Mostly I just mean wincest as in "I'm asking the incest side of the fandom." So. You're in the club now if you wish to be.

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

(Yes I already know some of your answers. Consider: I'd enjoy hearing them again)

- @schizosamwincester

aklsdjaksjd im in the club!!!

hmmm. uhm, i suppose most obvious out of the way, something aromantic going on with dean To Me. like, evidence aside, sometimes i think you can just sense this stuff on characters, you know? i look at dean, i look at both his expectations of and actual experiences of romantic relationships, ranging from so idealized that they're literally with a fake woman from an advertisement to conceivably romantic but also like clearly more appealing to him because they fill a different role than romance itself (like what's going on with him and anna is less love interest and more mutual grasping at intimacy, vulnerability, and humanity, and then what's going on with lisa is about stability and placing himself in a family unit. not that these things are necessarily incompatible with romance on their own, but romance isn't a requirement for them. and to me, for dean, it isn't.) not that dean would ever figure out what being aromantic is, which is part of the fun for me.

what else what else. oh, i know. sam's got some kinda funky dysphoria going on always. i know this about him. now, for me, i know that's a gender thing, but i think it'd be true of sam whether or not he's having a gender thing as well. he's got a weird-to-bad relationship with his body, which is not always his own, and which has, explicitly, not really been made with him in mind. it's an ever-present thing for him.

i should do a kink one too. i think sam deserves to have a rape kink. that is worded so badly but i'm keeping it because it wraps around to be a little absurd and funny. also how do i keep going with this without being way too tmi. let's just assume from now on im talking about sam winchester and not me. anyway. i think sam deserves a rape kink, and that it's been a thing for him for a long time, and i think it should also be such a thing for him that he has trouble getting off in scenarios where he's not able to imagine he's being forced. which, of course, then makes him guilty about not being Normal about his sex partners and wanting to imagine them raping him to get off, instead of having consensual gentle loving sex. so he represses that shit <3 and as a result his sex life is so much worse. and later, half the draw of fucking ruby is that the lines are so blurred that it's not really fantasy anymore, is it. it's dangerous. and it's really good.

and it's not like it goes away. if anything, it intensifies, it draws on the shit he goes through and eroticizes it to deal with the helplessness and the fear. but then that eroticization in of itself is another source of guilt, because how can he not respond to his own trauma in the "correct" way either, what is wrong with him. canon event: the best sex sam ever has is with the devil, and he's never going to forget it. it's also the worst thing to ever happen to him, and he can't forget that either. i think this is so fun to do to him <3 ^-^

anyway. that's some thoughts.

[schizosamwincester]

HOW DID YOU THINK OF IT/ITS CASTIEL BEFORE ME. THAT'S. THOSE ARE MY PRONOUNS. THAT I'M OBSESSED WITH. AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THEY'D BE PERFECT FOR CAS?

Okay, knowing me, within a month hearing people call Cas "he" will feel like misgendering. It's just. That's so perfect. Cas isn't a human. It's a soldier of the Lord. It doesn't do gender; it doesn't even quite have a soul in the same way humans do; in its mind, calling it he doesn't really make sense. It's not going to correct a human who takes one look at it and calls it he, because it doesn't really get the human preoccupation with these things anyway, but in its own head, or if you ever asked? Of course it is the answer.

I mean you said a lot of good stuff. I love arthritis!Sam as an idea. God, watching either of them try to do their 24/7 hunting schtick with CFS would be so interesting and fun. I think I've gotten 3 people saying artist!Sam so it's canon now. But. Even though it isn't you projecting, I'm thoroughly distracted by the idea of it/its Castiel because not only is that me, that's perfect.

Happy wincest Wednesday!

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

(I wasn't entirely clear if your EDS Sam one was one of them? So also you can answer that too if you like)

- @schizosamwincester

Some of my doctors have thought I have EDS and some did not. I got 'tested' once but was told I was not tall enough. I probably will never find out 🤷

If I could take all my blorbos and Give Them Ailments, I would. >:D

Tbh Sam and Dean already have so much that I have: anxiety, depression, ptsd. Migraines and general fatigue. (Though fatigue syndrome is sooo interesting to me if they had it). I like to imagine picky eater Sam with IBS and related + unrelated nausea/stomach issues. And chronic pain and Ehlers. I think arthritis too would be fun. He feels 'wrong' deep in his bones. It's his shame of being a 'freak' yeah but also it's the arthritis. I really vibe with people saying Dean could be BPD and Sam schizophrenic, even though I am neither. My hands sometimes fail me and also have tremors and I am a huge fan of Sam struggling with that too. My insomnia goes to mister 'i got four hours' Dean lol.

Hobbies are really fun to project on characters! I like to think of Sam drawing like the tree he draws in s1 but also I like to think of him and Jess painting.

Dean needs to be into woodwork and woodshop. That's not a hobby of mine bc I don't do it but when I took a class of it I really enjoyed it! I think he'd really enjoy tangible results he made with his own two hands, very much how he enjoys fixing up Baby. I do not but I would LOVE for Dean to play the harmonica and I will always die on that hill!!! He'd be sooo cowboy and jailhouse blues i KNOW he'd enjoy the aesthetic of playing the harmonica like he's in a western or in jail.

I like to think of Sam organizing things too, which I'm not sure if that counts as a hobby but I will include. Books, weapons, food - whatever. It's very calming and sometimes is almost compulsive for me. And gives a sensation of being in control that I think Sam would enjoy.

Oh!! I canNOT believe I almost forgot OCD. Hello!!! Sam with OCD!!!

I love love love taking my nonbinary-inator and hitting my faves with that beam. Gender be upon you. They/them Sam???? Ugh my Heart ❤️ But i also really really enjoy trans Sam and/or Dean - in any form! Myf or ftm or other. I think Sam should have had an it/its phase tbh!!! (I LOVE it/its Castiel btw)

I love to imagine Sam listening to all the 2000s pop punk bands I love lol. Dashboard Confessional and Snow Patrol, for example.

I love to imagine Dean listening to all my fave 80's songs even though they're not mullet rock and are either rock or pop or pop rock. And him listening to 90s emo would be so good. I think he'd jam to All The Small Things and stuff like that but nooo he HAS to listen to John music. Dean c'mere and listen to Dark Blue please please please

I really love so many sexual and/or romantic orientations for the boys. I don't usually hit them with the bi+ace+romance favorable somewhere on the aro spectrum but still bi- inator beam BUT it can be fun. I enjoy so many and so much range.

Thanks for asking! I'm sure I have more I'm forgetting but for now that's what I've got!

[schizosamwincester]

Happy wincest Wednesday!

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

- @schizosamwincester

Happy Wincest Wednesday @schizosamwincester ! Sorry I haven't answered WW asks in awhile, I've been having a lot of anxiety-induced brain fog 😔😔 someday, I hope lol

As for this ask! Sam already shares some of my hobbies: true crime, reading, esoteric podcast subjects, and a drawing ability that he doesn't drag out nearly often enough. I like to give him my headaches and stomach issues a lot, and sometimes restrictive food issues. When writing transmasc!Sam, I love to give him horrible periods like mine. And then there's isolated instances of projection, like my sick fic, Too F'n High, where Sam is feverish and taking Nyquil lmao. Wrote that while I was sick and could barely tell my Nyquil dreams from reality. Also I like to give Sam my alt music taste.

For Dean... well I guess a lot of my love for chubby/fat!dean is me, too? I like to have Sam feeding him and loving the softness of Dean's body. But also Dean has bad knees lolol.

As for hobbies... well I don't often give Dean anything of mine that isn't playing up what's already in canon, I don't think. Not that I don't project onto him at all, but I don't really change anything. I'm not a porn video connoisseur, but I do like anime and some hentai visuals, so we kinda have that in common already. We also have music and cars in common, though I'm by no means knowledgeable like him. Also I'm jealous of his vintage mag and vinyl collections. I wish I had my vinyls from childhood, but I have so many boxes of seventeen and circus magazine lolol. He decorates his space how I tend to (but here it's fantasy swords instead of guns). And I appreciate his stupid jokes and monster portmanteaus because it matches my style.

I've written a headcanon before about Dean becoming a coffee snob, which I kind of am since my years of managing a specialty grocery department and learning a lot about coffee (and chocolate, cheese, cured meats, wine, and craft beer).

As for kinks... my default kink with them is somnophilia, which I can't stand irl, but I love the fantasy of it--of Sam and Dean owning each other's bodies so implicitly that unconsciousness doesn't matter, and if they wake up they're into it (usually). It's definitely a fantasy kink indulgence that I get my fill of from fiction.

Things I'm actually into that I give them: bruise kinks and possessive marks, biting, cuddling that turns to frotting, manhandling and caretaking, mild bondage, mild sadomasochism, breeding kink when they know they shouldn't because pregnancy would be bad 😅 food and domesticity as acts of love, and sleepy lie-ins

[schizosamwincester]

Oooo okay, yeah I like that! Also yeah, not hard to be more stable than Winchesters, lolllll

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

I don't know if you are familiar with the four temperaments. They're based on the four humors. Basically, it's been argued that you can categorize any 4 person group in media into them. Each person will always fit each role. Here, have a helpful chart:

Anyway, supernatural has plenty of groups of four characters. There is of course John, Mary, Sam and Dean, if you prefer we could also have John, Dean, Sam, and Adam, and of course the late seasons and destiel people among us will go for Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Jack. I don't care which you pick. I just think categorization is fun. So, my ask this week is that you categorize one of these teams into the four temperaments. Or hey, have fun! Pick a four of your own! Four angels, four of Dean's love interests, four of Sam's love interests, whatever. I just want categories!

- @schizosamwincester

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

Okay, so my first thought (before I saw your examples) was Sam, Dean, Castiel and Crowley (which for me is the only working quartet in this show that all 4 have interesting and somewhat equal dynamics with each other) so I'm gonna do these ones!

Okay, Crowley and Dean are obviously the extroverted ones while Sam and Castiel are the introverted ones. And stability wise... hmm... well Sam and Dean are pretty unstable so I guess that makes Crowley and Castiel the stable ones (they are NOT stable, just MORE stable than the Winchesters, probably because they are both centuries old).

So summing up!

Dean: Choleric

Sam: Melancholy

Castiel: Plegmatic

Crowley: Sanguine

Thanks for the ask! ^^

[schizosamwincester]

Wait wait OCDean blaming stuff on his inaction re: compulsions is so good though? Why don't I see more of that? If you ever do more with that, please tag me

Happy wincest Wednesday!

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

- @schizosamwincester

Oh my gosh. Okay.

So it's no big secret that I give most of my stuff to Dean. I have a whole "dean and I have got to stop being the same person" tag about it (mostly about our fathers. But from the very beginning, years ago, I resonated with Dean so fully. His guilt and expectation from being the oldest and failing at it, his need to please to feel like he has any worth, loving your father so much and then being angry with him, hurt, and not knowing what to do about it. Dean is better and stronger than me, but he gave me a lot, both in comfort and as a role model, an example.

We share daddy issues, I don't even have to give him that one, and the "I had to be a father, and a mother, and I couldn't do it", and the inescapable sense of failure of being an older brother, the depression/anxiety is also a show given, but what I CAN give him is this-

My health based OCD, specifically around food, germs, and food borne diseases, also the feeling of "I didn't do something so that's why this bad thing happened". My un-categorical feelings about gender and the mixed gender roles we found ourselves in, not wanting to be a woman, but wanting certain "traditionally woman things" heavy air quotes, that you can't have if you're a man, or if you want people to still view you as a man. I give him my sensitivity to poison ivy simply because I can. Also I give him my "food/feeding as love". Cooking for people, buying them little candy bars or treats, that's a main way I show affection. (In a conflicting strain he also gets my weird relationship with food and myself. Eating/sort of binging as comfort, and ENJOYING it, but not coming at it from a healthy place. Genuinely liking food but feeling guilty about it so overcompensating by overfilling)

Also the food insecurity! Gotta have a full pantry to feel at ease.

He and Sam both get autism (though Sam more obviously/strongly than Dean).

I'm positive there's been more, but this is the steady base of stuff I give to Dean because we are so very much the same, poor guy. I love Sam to death, but I don't connect with him the same way I do with Dean, I feel more like Dean does about him, that's my little brother (who is older than me but shut up) who I love and want to take care of and also see get laid.

[schizosamwincester]

Go big or go home :)

[schizosamwincester]

Oh hey! If we're talking about Sam with bad joints, @biromantic-nerd headcanons him with EDS! Here, read their post!

But yeah, you don't have to tell me twice that Dean is aro AF

I've decided that you have seen enough supernatural for me to start bothering you with my wincest Wednesday questions. Please feel free to ignore this if you don't want to do it, and don't feel like you actually have to answer on Wednesday. I do these weekly.

Happy wincest Wednesday!

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

(I already know at least one thing that keeps getting posted in your liveblogs, lol)

- @schizosamwincester

THERES A WHOLEASS WEDNESDAY ABOUT IT???

but, basically,

(a given of a headcanon, but we project regardless)

also sam can have shitfuck joints that flare for no reason. as a treat. get that boy some tensor bandage. he'd look hot in wrist wraps too. a rare plus side of me projecting my fuckass issues onto the characters.

[schizosamwincester]

[schizosamwincester]

Happy wincest Wednesday!

So. It is a time honored tradition in every fandom to headcanon your blorbos with the same traits as you. Hobbies, kinks, disabilities... Literally anything. As long as it means you get to look at the character and go "it me!" So. This lovely Wednesday, tell me what traits you project onto Sam and/or Dean!

- @schizosamwincester

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

As an autist, autism!Sam is so dear to my heart. Finger biting babygirl with deep and narrow interests, even got the fawn and people-pleaser social skillset because as long as you're nice to people, in the short term they tend not to notice that you're Incredibly Weird. The supernatural creature special interest is handy, and probably came about because Sam, as the precious innocent that Dean and John tried to protect from the life and thereby left isolated and neglected, would try to prove himself capable of being a hunter and part of the family (and not a monster himself) by dedicating himself to research. But I really like leaning into how broad that knowledge can be, with how research into such convoluted topics like cryptozoology can go. Sam doesn't just know monsters/signs/how to kill them, but also where their myths originated, how they affected surrounding cultures/religions throughout the ages, if there are sister myths and how they're different. And he's got incredible beef with any new age and sci-fi authors who tried penning an authoritative book on supernatural creatures and didn't do as much research as he did - and he knows these authors by name. (...cryptozoology was neeeeeverrrr my special interest nooooooo....) I also think Sam has an attitude towards art/drawing that's similar to my own. Canonically, we know that Sam can draw, especially in the early seasons (and John doodles a fair bit in his journal too, in a similar black and scratchy style, unless John was tossing his journal over to Sam and telling him to draw him a werewolf on the margins). I personally ascribe to 'the easel in What Is And Should Never Be was Sam's and not Jess' ' and I think that Sam has had a number of romantic partners who tried to encourage him as an artist (Jess and Brady taking him to student art exhibits, Sarah talking to him about art history and styles, Amelia might have tried to sign him up for a community center watercolors class). But, Sam would never describe himself as an artist, he just draws. He isn't trying to convey anything, he doesn't want to really invest a lot of energy or time or identity to the hobby, he just wants to doodle on some scratch pads to ease his own boredom or to serve a function.

For Dean, I don't mean to, but as a socially repulsed autist it's hard for me to write extroverted or non-anxious characters, and for some reason Dean's my outlet for that on the first draft. And sure, I think Dean can be worried and can be very aware that he doesn't fit in with or relate to most of the people around him because of what he knows and what he's been through, but most of the time when I'm in Dean's head and planning for the team to meet with someone, he's the one that's like "I don't waaaaaant tooooo it'll go baaaaaaad they'll try to kill my Sammyyyyyy" I also like giving Dean a service kink. Like, he'll ask "Was it good for you?" every time, but he looks forward to hearing that he blew someone's mind arguably more than getting off himself. He wants to hear and know, in depth and for himself and with every sense and full honesty, that he's pleasing his partner in ways that will make them remember him fondly for weeks or years to come. Also, related to autism!Sam, I like giving Dean ADHD traits that my wife has, so Dean doesn't really enjoy reading long books and he can get some words switched around, and he *needs* sound stimulation or kinetic outlets at all times. Bouncy leg!Dean is something that can be so precious.

Thank you for the ask! There were a couple things I didn't even realize I had projected on the boys XD

[schizosamwincester]

remembered this and took endless psychic damage

[schizosamwincester]

Here I am, posting something similar like the fibro post... this one goes out to my psychotic folks🫶

[schizosamwincester]

Do I make myself write tonight or not? On the one hand it's been a while. On the other... It's been a while

[schizosamwincester]

(╹ -╹)? so what would your suggestions for writing an aplatonic character be?

Hmm... Okay well, maybe this is a bad point to start off on, because it involves me making an assumption about whoever is reading this, but I'm going to start with it anyway because it's what I thought about first. I figure that if you're asking this question, there's a pretty high chance you're some flavor of aspec. I think alloplatonic aces and/or aros are the ones most likely to want to give other aspecs representation. And if that is the case and you are somewhere on the a-spectrum, the biggest thing I can say is that if you ask me, all aspec experiences are the same. Like yes, the way society treats romance, sex, friendship, family, etc are all different and so being aro, ace, apl, afam, etc are all different, but so many of the basic experiences repeat.

You hear a lot of aces and aros talk about how they either picked someone at random to say was their crush as a kid, or they just picked the person who seemed nicest. They weren't aware that other people didn't choose one by some method, they had actual feelings for them they couldn't control. Similarly, when I ended up in different classes and a different lunch than all my friends in school and quickly discovered that if I didn't want to have lunch alone, I needed to make new friends, what did I do? I found a person who had a lot in common with me (at the time, being very good at school and coming from a conservative Christian background) and went "yeah, I should probably try and be her friend." There was absolutely no emotional desire—it was just logic.

And a lot of this applies to all queer identities, honestly. How many stories do we hear about someone coming out as bi, and their mom says "oh, I just thought everyone was interested in girls and boys?" We all just assume that our experiences are normal. So just as a trans person might have assumed that everyone feel disconnected from their bodies or an aromantic might assume that crushes are exaggerated to create drama in media, an aplatonic might assume that everyone only really cares about their friends when they're there and doesn't miss them when they're gone. They probably aren't going to understand why some people are so reluctant to try new things if they don't know anyone there, because to them, whether they're surrounded by strangers or friends doesn't make much difference. Etc.

So that's one thing I'll say. You can very much take your own experience of what queerness is like and map it onto the norms about friendship.

I think one thing that is important to mention is that if we are comparing to other aspec experiences, you'll see a lot of narratives, both in fiction and real life, where aro and ace characters have never been in those kinds of relationships because they never wanted them. That's almost impossible to have as an aplatonic. Even if you were the kid who was ostracized for one reason or another, there's always that one exception. People will try to adopt people who have no friends. People will declare themselves your friend even if you just see them as "that person I carpool with to rehearsal and talk to sometimes." It is almost never socially acceptable to say "no, actually I don't want to be friends." If you're a child, you'll often get punished for it; if you're an adult, you usually have to nod along to whatever they say and pretend to care and hope that eventually they notice that you'd prefer to be left alone. Obviously aplatonics with friends and who like having friends exist (hell, I'm one) but even those who don't tend to have someone just because it is extremely hard to be completely left alone if you participate in anything at all. And even if we might not consider the people we do hobbies with or talk to sometimes friends, that doesn't always go both ways.

And of course, you do need some kind of support network in the world. If you're alloromantic, aplatonic, and monogamous, you might want your partner to be the person who meets all of your needs and is everything for you... but that might not be practical. They might not like that. And if you're not in that kind of relationship, you may end up having friends for utility. It's easier to find a sexual partner if you can go along with also being their friend. Again, you might want someone to talk to about a hobby or shared interest, and in order to get that, you also have to perform the role of friendship.

The whole idea of friendship needing to have a purpose or reason or place is a big thing to me. Like, as a kid, I didn't make any friends in my dance classes for years, and I didn't care because in my eyes, I wasn't there for socialization, I was there because I liked to dance. So who cares? But meanwhile, at lunch in school? Friends have a purpose at lunch. You need a place to sit, and you need something to entertain you while you eat. So finding people to be with at lunch is important. Recess is the same way. At work? I have absolutely no interest in being friends with my coworkers. I'm at work to do work. Even if I have downtime, I still generally want to spend it on some other kind of "work" like writing. If I want to friend, that's a separate activity. I friend in my free time.

So to me, being aplatonic means I think about people's specific roles in my life and what they fill, instead of just the vague idea of friendship and that I like having people around. One friend is useful as a writing partner who I do writing sprints with. Another is nice because they're in a different time zone, so they're often awake and around during the part of work where I get bored and all my friends are asleep. Another has known me through all my mental health struggles and is generally a great listener, so they're useful to talk to about that stuff because they already have all the necessary context and immediately understand things. And yeah, as I mentioned before, another is just a really good lay, but we aren't going to only screw for twelve hours straight, so friendship does happen in the breaks in between.

And a final note — being aplatonic means I really don't mind leaving people behind. If someone moves away? I enjoyed them while it lasted, but I'm not going to be super inclined to keep things going. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. A play I'm in ends, so I won't be seeing that group of people every day anymore? Even though I really enjoyed working with them, I'm not going to mind or miss them especially. If someone actively ends a friendship with me? Well that's different. That's a form of rejection, and could be the result of me hurting them in some way or an argument that went badly. All of that is going to sting, if nothing else, because it's a form of failure. I did something wrong. But if circumstances change or we just grow apart? I'm not going to mind.

I've said this before, but that's the aplatonic story I'd really like to see. So many stories are about people who go on some big quest or adventure, and in the process it ends up creating these strong unbreakable bonds between them. They're closer than brothers now. They will never be separated again. You can see that everywhere from Lord of the Rings to Shrek and Donkey. I want to see the story where the group gets along well and they accomplish everything they set out to do, but at the end they all go their separate ways again. There aren't any hard feelings. If they run into each other again in their travels, they'll greet each other happily. They wouldn't mind working together again. But they aren't trying to stay together or stay in touch, either. It happened, and now it's over, and they're more than happy to move on.

... Shit that was long. Well I hope it was helpful!

[schizosamwincester]

What if I said that Dean Winchester was possibly on the Aromantic spectrum

[schizosamwincester]

i think its cute that they made dean jerk off to softcore magazines and hentai and silly casa erotica dvds when in reality he'd be so desensitized to porn the stuff he watches to get off is borderline illegal. leg in a bear trap and punches in the face to cum type of shit. he's got friction burn on his dick he probably needs to smell povidone iodine to cum

[schizosamwincester]

And here is where I disclose that this was inspired by me considering the dynamics of Misha/Jensen/Jared (who are listed in A/B/C order)

You know how in rock-paper-scissors, rock beats scissors, but scissors beat paper, but paper beats rock? I think we should make that a thing but in shipping triads. So like, character A tops character B if they fuck, but character B tops character C, but character C tops character A. I think that would be very funny and interesting.

[schizosamwincester]

Idk, seemed like a fun question