sclfcare

[sclfcare]

the guilt she feels is undeniable . definitely not her proudest moment : doing whatever and whoever it took to get aaron's attention . no one else mattered to her ; that sentiment is still valid , if not more so as her relationship with aaron continues to blossom . every obstacle in their way served as a lesson learned , even if in the moment it all felt hopelessly hopeless . greyson had been a good friend to her , showing kindness when everyone else turned up their nose . and yeah , maybe he caught some feelings along the way ⎯⎯⎯ it happens from time to time between friends . it wasn't like ruby returned homme's affection , no ⎯ aaron was always the prize . it's why it hurt so badly as he drug his feet , leading her on with promises he never followed through on . " but i feel like i do ... like ⎯⎯⎯ , " blonde pauses , brims parted as she sighs , " ... like , i know it was a mistake . you had this girlfriend who was head over heels obsessed with you , and i ⎯⎯ i guess i wanted you to know what that felt like . it was stupid , and impulsive , and - and selfish as fuck . " anxiety lessens as boyfriend's arms snake around her , melting into aaron's embrace and thanking god it all worked out in their favor . they burned a lot of bridges down to make this relationship a thing . now it's all coming back to the surface . it's making femme a nervous fucking wreck . " ... am i bad person ? like , okay , he's a piece of shit , but ⎯⎯ but i feel like i deserve it . i just wanted you . "

was   he   mad   at   her,   no   –––  did   he   want   to   be   ?   maybe.   a   little   bit   .   he   was   upset,   obviously   but   he   didn't   have   a   right   to   confront   her   on   it,   after   all   there's   not   a   single   part   of   aaron   that   believes   that   ruby   would   have   slept   with   her   cast   mate   had   he   managed   to   end   his   relationship   with   shay   earlier.   hesitates   momentarily   before   shaking   his   head   ,   looking   up   at   blonde   as   explanations   fell   from   her   lips.   〝   you   don't   have   to   explain   yourself.   〞mainly   because   he   didn't   want   to   hear   how   his   girlfriend   hooked   up   with   a   guy   he   didn't   like   but   also   due   to   the   fact   that   it   was   his   fault,   somewhat.   〝   look,   does   it   suck   hearing   grey   talk   about   you   guys   like   that,   yeah   obviously.   but   you   only   did   it   'cause   you   were   pissed   at   me   and   i   kinda   deserved   it   for   the   whole   shay   thing.〞he   shrugs,   pulling   fem   into   him,   wrapping   arms   around   her   waist.   nose   scrunches   playfully   as   he   looks   at   her   and   laughs.   〝   i'm   sorry   i   made   you   wanna   sleep   with   someone   as   awful   as   grey,   though.〞

[sclfcare]

arm stretches out , slipping to reside around girlfriend's shoulders . fingertips tap against her silky skin . he's smirking , taking a five to consult with himself if he should share the inside scoop or if it'd be better if he kept his mouth shut . " yeah , once or twice , maybe , " kai teases , turning his head to press a playful kiss against her temple . " but isn't that more on ruby than it is him ... ? i'm just sayin' ... getting at aaron by sleepin' with some other guy is one thing , but between you 'n me ? i think ... greyson's kinda always had a thing for her , for ruby , i mean . back when we all first met , they were together all the time , so ... i'm tellin' ya , it's fuckin' messy . i dunno , maybe this is what his karma is for fuckin' with us but i think it's wild how ruby isn't getting dragged like grey is . you can't convince me she didn't know what she was doing . "

〝   has   anyone   ever   told   you   you're   way   too   nice?   〞she   jokes,   knowing   plenty   of   people   have   -––  herself,   multiple   of   their   friends.   kai   was   just   a   good   guy   and   sometimes   jasmine   questions   whether   she   fully   deserves   him.   〝   okay,   you're   kinda   right.   .   .   i   guess   he   didn't   do   anything   wrong   this   time   –––  except   it   was   pretty   obvious   ruby   liked   aaron   the   whole   time   so   i   guess   the   fans   are   mad   at   him   for   messing   them   up.   〞she   shrugs,   as   much   as   fem   liked   the   other   pair,   she   was   just   glad   nobody   was   focused   on   her   own   relationship   anymore.   〝   it's   kinda   crazy   how   much   drama   loves   him,   don't   you   think?   〞

[sclfcare]

a breathy whimper is muffled against eric's mouth as he sinks his teeth into the plump flesh of her lesser , pinning her hand behind her back to assert his control . she might be the one on top , yet both of them know full well that eric holds the reigns here . exactly how she likes it , too ⎯⎯⎯ there's no better feeling than giving herself over to this man completely , entrusting him with her heart , her body , her mind , and soul . it's all his . shivers inspire goosebumps to liter up and down porcelain limbs , the warmth of his tongue and mouth sucking and licking at her jaw and neck driving her fucking crazy in the best of ways . " oh , fuck ... fuck , eric ⎯⎯⎯ ! " coral cries , already in the midst of cumming before he amplifies it tenfold when he begins to rub her clit . thighs tremble , relying on him keep her upright as she rides his cock to keep the pleasure going ⎯⎯ to bottle up this feeling and have it forever . " d - daddy ! " femme stammers between breathless moans , squeezing his throat and making a fist with the hand clasped behind her back , creating crescent shaped indents on her palm . she's not sure if she's cumming twice or if the orgasm he's given her is just that intense , wiggling on top of him and fighting her knees' urge to buckle together . she can feel the way she's dripping , creaming all over his cock as the pleasure becomes too overwhelming . all she can do is hold on and take it , blissed - out tears streaming down her cheeks . " oh my god , i'm cumming s - so h - hard ... ! "

     he was in euphoria . with the way she was wrapped tight around his cock . or , her touch . her pants and moans .. ––– all of it was only making the experience even better . he was so damn in love with coral that she could make watching paint dry exhilarating . as her fingers slip between his , eric's hand move to pin her wrist behind her back . grip on her tight , while teeth tug on her plump bottom lip . “ that's my good girl , you do deserve it . ” mouth moves to drag against her jaw , tongue licking at her skin . tasting her sweat . everything about her was so damn sweet . only leans back so that he could spit on his own fingers before moving them between her legs , toying with her clit as he feels her cunt clenching down on him . “ that's it baby , let me see you . ” jaw slack , eyes half - lidded gazing up at his girl as she begins to unravel before him . how nasty was this ? defiling her old childhood treehouse , mere meters away from where her parents and brothers are in the house probably wondering where they were . but the two of them were so caught up in each other , neither of them could pretend to care .

[sclfcare]

" you wouldn't say you l - loved me b - back , cam ! " blonde sobs , feeling just as pathetic as she looks ⎯⎯⎯ feats red , blinded by the tears that stream like a river rapids down freckled cheeks . tanned arms tangle around girlfriend's waist the moment she's close enough to hold onto , before camryn can even initiate the hug . her hold is tight , reflecting the raw fear that runs rampant through her mind that she might slip away . " no , i'm sorry ⎯⎯ i'm sorry , i was going to t - tell you , i swear ⎯⎯ i do think about you , you - you are all i think about , i thought i'd have time ! please , please don't be mad at me , cammie , i can't ⎯⎯ i can't take it if you're m - m - mad at me ! "

     a tantrum ? cameryn can combat that . what she can't fight against is a break down , and that's essentially where audrey was right now . instant regret settles in her bones as she watches her girlfriend bare her soul in the middle of the hotel room . and as much as she usually keeps up the fight , she can't do that now . she doesn't even want to . at this point it was just becoming stale . index finger digs into the pad of her thumb . she gets it . ––– not even really with this current argument , but all of it . they both were in a very sticky predicament that they weren't entirely sure how to make it out of . tucking hair behind her ear , femme moves towards audrey , arms wrapping around her with her head on her shoulder . muttering words she should've said a long time ago , but her pride made her feel stupid for saying it . “ i'm sorry . –––- i'm sorry . ”

[sclfcare]

" i wanted to protect you ! from me , to keep me from pulling you under too , i'm fuckin' washed , var ! this was never you , this shit was never on you ⎯⎯⎯ i never fuckin' meant to ⎯⎯ i never wanted to hurt you , but i did , i fuckin' did and i'm sorry . i'm so fuckin' sorry , i'm sorry ... ! " words come out frantically , desperate to get them out and in the open , knowing full well that they are all overdue . he's put varsity through the ringer this past year or so ; why she still lets him into her life after all of that , he'll never understand . chest rises and falls with each strained breath , teary eyes focused on her's . at first his panic is sky high ⎯⎯⎯ the product of sheer emotional devastation and the raw humiliation of letting himself crumble like this . he's never done this before . it's a type of vulnerability tyson turned away from his whole life until now . instead of fixating on that , he tries to just listen to the words coming out of her mouth , to focus on her because she's really the only thing in this world that he has that could ever have this impact on him in the first place . " i feel like i got nothin' left to offer anybody , i didn't wanna let you down like i did myself ⎯⎯⎯ ," he stutters , arms snaking around varsity's waist as she slides down to join him on the floor , his cheek pressed against her chest , rocking back and forth without even realizing . " i love you too , i love you more than i love myself , i don't know why ⎯⎯ i don't know why i fucked it all up , i'm sorry , baby , i'm so , s - so fuckin' sorry ... ! "

     “ because that's what you do when you love each other , tyson ! no one is supposed to move through life by themselves .. ––– alone . is that even what you want ? you want to carry all that pain by yourself when someone else wants to help carry it with you ? ” they've fought before , but nothing like this . this was so emotionally charged that varsity doesn't really know what shit she stepped in , but she's determined to steadfast in it . she wasn't going to shy away from what she asked for . and if this was what it took for him to let her in , she'll take it . “ i know who you are . ” she says , her eyes meeting his . “ i know who you are . i see you . i don't deserve anyone but you . nothing but the best ; that's you , ty . that's always been you . what happened to you doesn't define you . it doesn't make you who you are . who you choose to be after all of it , does . ––-- i know what happened makes you feel small , but i'm here to tell you that you're not . you're not , and i love you all the same . every last bit of you . the ugly sides especially . i need you to know that . ” heart crumbles in her chest as she sinks down to her knees as well . doesn't speak as she brings his head to her chest , holding him close . she knew that words couldn't always help ease the pain he was going through . she got it . she understood it , lived it herself sometimes . “ i love you , tyson . i love you so much . you're the best to me . always have been . ”

[sclfcare]

brows crease , she whines , trying her hardest not to break as her boyfriend suavely baits her to smile , " stooooop ! ⎯⎯⎯ smiling also causes wrinkles , so does sucking dick , so maybe you should watch what you say to me ! " despite her sniffles and tear - riddled timbre , it's obvious she's trying not to giggle . cassia drops his hand momentarily , flicking his nose in response to homme's playful bite to her knuckle . digits once again slide in between the spaces of his , setting their joined hands in her lap as she rests her head against emelio's arm . if only she could crawl over the center console and onto him , she would . however cassia has no interest in getting into a wreck , so this amount of contact would have to suffice for now . " i know , you're right ... i know ⎯⎯⎯ i'm trying , but it's hard . it's so fucking hard . " at least emelio understands . knows all too well the pain she speaks of and how difficult it is to shake it off . she finds some semblance of comfort in that ⎯⎯ how she doesn't have to explain , he just gets it . " i love you . forever . "

     she was one of the most important people in his life . he just wanted to make sure she was okay . needed to make sure that she was feeling alright . knew she wouldn't be in th best place considering her father being an ass , but at least had to make sure she knew they would always be in good standing . he wasn't going to abandon her like he did . emelio didn't have it in him . could never be away from his sweet cassia for too long . glances her way , a smirk hanging from his lips . “ baby , i didn't think you were mad with me . i just didn't want you mad in general . ” kisses the back of her hand again , offering a teasing nip at her knuckles . “ you get wrinkles in your forehead . ––––- i just want you happy all the time , and i get that that's not realistic . however , your father is the last person you should be upset over . he doesn't deserve that much of your attention . ”

[sclfcare]

fingers spreading open her cunt slip away , reaching back to tangle digits between eric's gripping her ass . doesn't want to feel anything else but him ⎯⎯⎯ her lover's dick filling and stretching velvety walls in a way that can't be described as anything other than heavenly . each time they fuck , it's like a trip to heaven ; pleasure beyond feasible means , an intense and profound sense of connection that only grows stronger as they fall deeper in love . " mmm . i deserve to cum on your cock , baby , i deserve it ⎯⎯⎯ , " coquette repeats , timbre breathy and contorted . only wishes she could feel like this forever : teetering on the verge of an orgasm , every sensation magnified . she feels every dip and curve of his cock , squeezing at his throat as they kiss , saliva dripping from their chins like starved animals . " t - thank you daddy , thank you ... ! i'm gonna cum for you , i ... i can't ⎯⎯ i can't hold it in anymore , it feels too fucking good , o - oh god ... ! " he's so deep , taking every inch of his length inside her as she picks up the way she rolls her hips into his , using his hold on her to help her bounce up and down for an additional layer of bliss that has coral reduced to a blubbering , whiny mess of moans . " eric ... ! " she cries , walls beginning to clamp down around his thick cock , her knees buckling as thighs shake , her orgasm igniting her entire body aflame , " f - fuck ! "

     “ i know it does baby . i love making you feel good . it's what you deserve . ” seeing coral in pleasure , was like watching michelangelo paint or some shit . it was literally art . to know that he was the reason for making her feel so good ? it was an experience he would never get over . too fucking giddy . like a damn church boy getting pussy for the first time . and he's sat there , just drinking the sight in . the way her raven hair slides down her body . or the way her thighs tighten every time he clit and pelvis meet . it was fucking sinful . he'd never get tired of it . “ but you take it so good baby , you're doing so fucking good . -–-- cum for me baby . i need it . ” words are labored , eyes drinking her in . both entangled in each other . completely morphed into one . impossible to tell who was who when they were joined in such a way . fingertips dig into her skin , a sigh leaving him . their mouths seal over each other , teeth clashing . tongue wrestling each other . took everything in him to allow coral the satisfaction of continuing to ride him . especially because all he wanted to do was pin her down against this treehouse floor and make her scream his name until her family heard .

[sclfcare]

it's not audrey's proudest moment , that's for damn sure . hasn't had a breakdown like this since she was a child , but it's all just too much . she's met her emotional quota and then some . it's all so unnecessary too ⎯⎯⎯ at the heart of this whole issue they're just exhausted . exhausted from being so overworked , exhausted from having to put on this public charade when all they ever really wanted was to be together . most of their fans already ship them , but the fans have never been the issue . two of the hottest supermodels had to be obtainable , had to appeal to the male gaze . it's sickening . this whole farce just to preserve the feelings of some loser in his mother's basement who wants to believe he has a chance at fucking his dream girl one day . being an open lesbian would shatter that illusion , it would tank their marketability . audrey is beginning to not give a fuck about any of that anymore . what use is living this fantastic , dazzling life if she can't do it authentically ? she's in a full - blown meltdown , chest rising and falling with frantic sobs and a sniffling nose . " everything ! everything is the fucking issue ! it's all such bullshit , i hate it ⎯⎯ i hate it so much , i'm so tired , every part of it , it hurts ⎯⎯ it all fucking hurts ! i don't wanna do it anymore , like it's eating me alive , i just want to be with my fucking girlfriend ! god ! that's it , that's all i want ⎯⎯⎯ why does it have to be so fucking hard ? i don't get it ! i want out ! please , cam , please , can we just not do this anymore , i'm fucking begging , please , i can't - i can't ... "

     hearing audrey stomp around the suite only makes her look up . the clear disdain was evident on her face . so obvious . so tense in this hotel room that not even a knife could cut through it . both being petty . both at a crossroad . “ can you just fucking grow up ?! ” brows practically knit together . doesn't know what other kind of response to give . thought if she kept reacting , it'd get worse . clearly she was wrong . doesn't matter what she did , audrey was going to have an issue unless it was what she wanted . they were both too similar , and while cam loved that any other time . she's realizing that she doesn't like it much when they argue . the clash was so loud she was sure everyone could hear it . “ i mean seriously , what the fuck is your issue ? ”

[sclfcare]

" because it's not your pain ! it's not ! it's mine ! i'm the one who fucked up my life , me ! i'm the weak one ! me ! why would i put that on you , the woman i love ⎯⎯ why would i put that burden on your fuckin' shoulders when i can't even carry it myself ? " tyson counters , voice rising though tone is void of anything malicious . no anger . just exasperation and the endless flow of self loathing that's been keeping him stuck in place since the day his dream died out on the court . he thinks a part of him died then , too . everything else that's come after is just salt in the wound . " i look in the fuckin' mirror and i don't even know who i am anymore , var ! ⎯⎯⎯ i don't ⎯ i don't ! most days , most days i wish i was fuckin' dead , 'cuz that's how i feel , fuckin' dead on the inside ! m'not gonna put that shit on you , not you , you deserve ⎯ fuck , you deserve so much better than me . fuck ! " seeing her cry is what ultimately shatters all his resolve . he's seen it a hundred times but that doesn't make it any easier , especially knowing he's the reason why . his weakness . it was like a disease that ate away everything good in his life . his career , his relationship . he self imploded . he's got no one to blame for it other than himself . her kiss is searing , returning femme's fervency until it becomes obvious not even the love of the woman he holds above all can ease the ache in his chest . he's never broken down in front of her before , not even at his lowest . then again ⎯⎯⎯ he's never felt lower than he does now . " god , i can't ⎯⎯ , " a sob catches in his throat as he begins to cry , shoulders heaving uncontrollably , mumbling over and over again how sorry he is , how much he hates himself . this broken shell of a man falls to his knees in front of her , arms around her middle like a child clinging to his mother . his face pressed against her stomach . " i can't fuckin' live like this no more , var , i can't , i can't , i can't ! i can't do it ! "

     truth was varsity was tired of being put behind everything else . she dodged men every day for a man that couldn't even touch her in public at the risk of his legacy . at the risk of losing what he wanted so desperately . she didn't want to stand in the middle of that which is why she sucked it up . only called when she was drunk . couldn't dare face him sober . she wasn't strong enough for it . “ i don't know what you are 'cause you don't talk to me anymore ! you shut me out a long time ago and i stopped begging for you to give me a fucking ounce of your pain to help you carry because you won't let me ! ” hates how small she sounds . hates that they're even arguing like this when she knew that in the morning nothing was going to change . he'd leave and go back to kelsey for the time being , and she'd go out drinking so she could forget about him , only to call him at the end of the night . same story . same cycle . rinse , wash , repeat . forces herself to stand still as he makes his way over to her , though her chin wobbles , her gaze doesn't leave his . hates that he was right . hates that she wasn't strong enough to put her foot down and make him see . to make him realize that she meant business . but she did make a promise . this was the last time she'd cry in front of him over this . as long as he had a girlfriend , she had to accept that he wasn't hers . regardless of the circumstances . so she needed to start acting like it . instead of reassuring his words , all varsity does is seal her mouth over his . will allow herself one more night . some kind of fucked up way over saying goodbye .

[sclfcare]

her grip on emelio's hand is iron - clad . there's not a force on this earth or beyond that could pry her away . she's clung to him since day one , really , unable to envision a future she'd want any part of if it didn't involve emelio . she's his biggest fan ⎯⎯⎯ in the stands every game , screaming till her throat's sore , sporting his jersey front and center because of course she would . cassia is just that invested . there's no way she would throw away what they've built together just to chase after her dad's attention . no matter how badly it hurts , or how shattered her heart is , she knows she's exactly where she is meant to be . femme inhales sharply , tears freely spilling down freckled cheeks . she whimpers . nodding because she knows he's right ⎯⎯⎯ it will be okay . this feeling wouldn't last forever . and there's no other person cassia would rather have by her side to endure all these highs and lows with than this man beside her , " n - no , i love you more . i really do . you are my family , emelio ⎯⎯⎯ i'm not mad at you , i - i'm n - not , i promise ... "

     emelio hated seeing her cry . it made him feel terrible . all he ever wanted was a permanent smile on cassia's face . he understood though . there were many times that he was upset over the fact that his father wanted nothing to do with him . in all , it just made him work harder to be there and support his mother . vowed that if he ever made it big , she'd never have to work again . and that's exactly what happened . his father missed out on the cool shit . on the school championships , his winning shots .. –– him signing a contract to make millions . in fact it wasn't until he was plastered everywhere that her father even reached out to him in the first place . emelio never answered , and now he doesn't even think about what would've happened if he did . his father would have to live with that regret . not him , and not his mother . to know that emelio turned out to be a great fucking guy and it had nothing to do with him . eyes dart down to watch her fingers intertwine with his . lifts the back of her hand up to his lips just to press a soft kiss . “ i love you more . forever . ––– you're going to be okay . i know it , 'cause i'll make sure of it . i love you . ”

[sclfcare]

PSA: YOU'RE NOT BEING IGNORED.

A major part of the tumblr rp experience is refreshing the dash and see your mutual roleplaying with someone else. Or maybe they're answering asks, reblogging musing posts, making an OOC post here and there. However, there will be times where you are waiting on a plot, an ask, or a roleplay to be responded to and you see your partner interacting or engaging more with other people.

Again, the mind is a cruel thing. Inadequacy, jealousy, general anxieties stem up sometimes, it's part of being human. But what's important is how you act on these emotions. Please remind yourself that sometimes, things take time. Not all plots go somewhere. Sometimes, someone may not be feeling their muse for that rp. Maybe they just got really busy. Thousands of reasons, but none of them have anything to do with how much they like you as a person.

And that's okay. This isn't homework-- People should be allowed to pin down what they want to write and write it as they please. If you really want specific interactions, you can always send ic / anonymous asks to muses. You can make your own starter calls. Please don't put all of your eggs into one basket, as you will come to resent the people who don't immediately refill it. Don't be a goob, you have people who enjoy you AND your writing.

[sclfcare]

" f - fuck , it feels so good , baby ... " femme's head tips back , eyes rolling as an elongated moan spills from parted brims . takes a moment to savor this feeling ⎯⎯⎯ the love of her life buried inside her dripping cunt , not knowing where she ends and he begins . it's perfection . pleasure doesn't even cover it , it's beyond that . they really were meant to be together , their bodies reflect that sentiment in the way they fit together like this , like his cock was made to fuck her . so snug and tight , like a glove . coral spreads her pussy open wide , the way she's rocking into him gives her the perfect angle to grind the sensitive bundle against his pelvis . the perfect amount of stimulation ⎯⎯⎯ just enough to keep her toes curling and her cunt creaming all down his dick . coral glances down to the salacious sight , milky thighs trembling as whines grow increasingly more pornographic . " so perfect , " coquette agrees , picking up her pace as eric's grip on her ass helps guide her up and down his thick length , " oh fuck ... it's so big though , daddy , your cock is so big , i'm gonna cum so hard all over it . " the sounds of skin meeting skin amplify , the ideal accompaniment to their moans . so blissed out on each other . free hand tangles around eric's throat , squeezing only slightly ⎯⎯ enough to get her point across as her tongue laps against his mouth , pulling him into a messy , frenzied kiss .

     can't help but grin at the breathy sound of her voice , but he'll never get tired of hearing her tell him how much she loves him . he welcomed it . he fucking loved it . they both couldn't get enough of each other . the kind of love they talk about in story books . history books even . two lovers from different worlds collide as one . so fucking poetic . hums as her fingers glide through his hair . lips pressing against corals' jaw , hands squeezing her hips . “ i love watching you make that pussy feel good , ” he mutters , tongue wrapping around her fingers . makes sure to get them nice and wet so he could watch her touch herself while taking him inside her . eric was obnoxiously greedy for everything his girl had to offer . didn't matter what it was . she was perfect for him . perfect in every way . “ i feel it baby . i fit inside you so perfectly , we're really made for each other . ––– you take it so damn good . ” hand move so that fingertips could dig into the flesh of her ass , slowly guiding her movements . just barely controlling the pace . “ keep showing me how much you love it . how much you love taking me inside you . ”

[sclfcare]

fuck . she's so overwhelmed . so tired . so jet - lagged . so fucking haggard . they both are . all she wanted was to come back tonight , relax in a bubble bath with her girl , and fall fast asleep on her chest , cam's fingers in her hair . that was the dream . whatever the hell going on now is nothing short of a nightmare . it's infuriating just as much as it is devastating , the way she's being ignored and discarded . audrey wants to give camryn the benefit of the doubt although it feels like that opportunity has came and went already . they are passed it . it's so far gone its not even in the rear view mirror . she's being petty and knows it , but no longer gives a fuck . her girlfriend doesn't either , evidently , so what's the point in leaving peacefully ? instead of turning off the lights and excusing herself across the hall , blonde stomps around their hotel suite , flicking on every single light she can . she even flips on the faucets in the bathroom . " good night , then ! sleep well ! sweet fucking dreams , princess ! "

     the situation reeled out of control . realistically she knew this . the masochist in her couldn't get it under control again . it was nearly impossible at this point . couldn't push her pride aside and wave the white flag . not when they were both in so deep . so in their feelings . lips press together , eyes looking away from her girlfriend crying in the doorway . all it did was cue up her own tears that she wouldn't let fall . it was pointless . what would she gain ? she'd just look soft for the sake of the situation . they never had fights . back and forths , sure . but never like this . this was blowing up in ways neither of them anticipated . all she had to do was apologize .. ––– say anything . and yet , she just couldn't do it . she didn't know why . it wasn't like she wanted to fight , but she didn't want to admit defeat either . the idea made her feel sick . the walls were up and she was enclosed . there wasn't a way for her girlfriend to meet her halfway . not when she was guarding herself in a way that she couldn't concede . so as her girlfriend packs her things for the night , she's turning on her side tucking herself into the bed . trembling hand cuts the beside light off before pulling the sheets up to her chin . doesn't bother looking her way before saying , “ goodnight . ”

[sclfcare]

another jab . not that he doesn't expect it ; he deserves it , deep down . if only because he holds the shame of leaving her so close to his chest . probably more than varsity could ever understand ⎯⎯⎯ hell , he has trouble even letting his therapist in , let alone the woman he's loved since he was a rookie , bench warming for the greats . it's just not something he was raised to do . his parents were old - fashioned . didn't talk about what hurts them , just gritted their teeth and moved on forward , even if it killed them . " and words ⎯ ? what ? just bounce off of me like fuckin' kevlar ? how the fuck do you think it makes me feel when you constantly remind me of how i fucked us up ? like i don't fuckin' regret it enough already ? ⎯ i'm in a tough fuckin' spot , var , i'm not fuckin' happy ! do i look like a happy man to you ? " at this point , he's just running his mouth , just like deep down he knows she is too . maybe he deserves to stay in a loveless relationship . this is the bed he made for himself , after all . tyson rises to his feet , quickly minimizing the distance between them . never been shy about getting in each other's faces , so this was no strange feat as the male towers over her , his forehead against her's . " do it . do it . fuckin' do it . make me leave . you won't . i know you fuckin' won't , " homme taunts , the vibe intensifying , shifting into something heavier as both hands cup her face , digits tangling in her curls . can taste the alcohol on pillowy brims , his breath mingling with her's , " 'cuz you know i love you . i fuckin' love you . i'll always fuckin' love you . we're forever . you know it . "

     “ of course not , she's out of town . ” quip is enhanced with a smart - ass tone . they both knew it . a sensitive topic considering he squashed their whole affair when he was in a tough spot . she knew that his life took a turn and just wanted to support him . tried not to take it personal when tyson all but told her it wasn't enough , but the bitterness seeps through some days . as much as she loved him , she hates that he discarded her as if she couldn't handle the bad he was facing . the rough shit .. –– the shit that mattered . made her feel sick . how could you love someone and not let them in when you need support the most ? “ maybe you should stop trying to throw threats in my face like that then . i'm a person tyson , i have feelings . words mean something to me . ” long acrylic nail digs into her chest , gaze pointed . hates the tremble in her voice , but she'll blame it on her liquor for sure . fuck , she really needed to hit her vape right now . had to calm the fuck down . his next words hit her like she was slapped . did it matter to her ? everything he did mattered to her . “ i think you need to remember who the fuck you're talking to right now , 'cause if you don't , i'm gonna make you leave . –––– of course what you do matters to me . you have always mattered to me . let's not forget , i'm not the one that walked away . i'm not the one that wanted this ! i was ready to stick beside you . i always have been ! but fine . see it through . i don't think it's a we thing anymore . ”

[sclfcare]

it feels bittersweet , really . as much as she loves and appreciates the man sitting beside her , trying his absolute hardest to build her up , there's a larger part of her that simply doesn't believe it . doesn't see it ⎯⎯⎯⎯ her own value , what she could possibly offer anyone that would be worthy of the praise emelio offers so earnestly . in a way , he's telling her everything she's needed to hear from her father . that's where the bitter meets the sweet : there's a mourning she feels , one that's so deeply profound in knowing she'll never get any of this from the one man she's been chasing her whole damn life . it's so fucking hard to find the gratitude when she's so deep in the trenches of this multi - faceted betrayal . the cassia from a few years ago would've ran for the hills when faced with this type of unconditional love ⎯⎯ not because she doesn't want it , no , she just doesn't know how to accept it . it's so fucking hard . she's grown since then . maybe not a lot , but enough to recognize the godsend of a man she's got beside her ⎯⎯ never mind if she actually feels worthy of him , that's neither here nor there . she won't let herself self sabotage this , to push emelio away simply because he's the one here . although she can't bring herself to look at him ( she'd fucking crumble so fast if she did ) , that doesn't mean she's not listening , that it doesn't mean more to her than she could ever express . she wipes away some more tears , lesser brim quivering . femme nods , sniffling . cassia silently reaches for his hand as he extends it toward the dial to turn up the music , lacing her fingers between his in a tight , needy grip . " i love you ... i love you so much . "

     “ i hear you , cass . i really do . i'm sorry that my apologies don't help ... –– and i know that you love your dad , but just one last thing and i'll shut the fuck up . i promise .... he doesn't know what he's missing out on . a smart , brilliant girl like you ? that's you . you did that yourself . he can't even have the joy in knowing that you're so great and him feeling like contributed to that . and i know that could suck . i never knew my dad either , so i know that emptiness ... that feeling that never really goes away . i resonate with that . but don't let him take the joy of who you are away . bask in the fact that you're this magnificent person . bask in the fact that you're capable and interesting and full of love , regardless of his lack of being there . that's something he'll regret , but don't make that one of yours . besides ... ––- i really like the idea of us creating our own little family . one that wouldn't exist without you . because i wouldn't be able to do anything without you . ” feels winded , but knew he had to offer some kind words to make up for his blunder . regardless if he knew cassia or not , it never sounds nice knowing someone you love was dating someone you loathe . emelio knew how she felt to an extent , and just wanted to soothe that ache the same way his mom tried to with him . knew it wouldn't make things completely better , but offer a new perspective . but doesn't want to overwhelm her , so hand just reaches for the radio , turning the music up slightly to fill the tense cabin .

[sclfcare]

a kittenish moan vibrates against his tongue , getting full - body chills as he says those three little words that mean so , so fucking much . more than anything . his love makes coral feel limitless . that sensation is only amplified by feeling his cock embedded inside her , pleasure that's unmatched ⎯⎯⎯ almost otherworldly . coral arches her hips just right , rocking against his deep thrusts to experience the most of him . the deeper he fucks her , the needier she becomes for more of it . more , more , more . " i love you so much ," coquette whimpers breathlessly . can only hope she makes him feel even a fraction of the way he does for her ⎯⎯ like she's been lost all this time , and at last she's finally home . he found her . fingers card through curly waves of raven locks after eric repositions them . he looks so fucking sexy , the intensity of his stare enough to make her cum on the spot . reaching back to grip his thigh for support , she skillfully rolls her hips into his , pulling back just enough that his cock nearly slips out before welcoming every inch buried inside her cunt . fingers push into lover's mouth , slicking manicured digits with eric's saliva to rub her clit . she tries to go slow , wants to drag out this feeling for as long as she possibly can . " mmm . fuck ... you like watching me fuck you like this , daddy ? ⎯⎯⎯ you deserve it , letting me take care of you , making us both feel so fucking good ... i'll always need you , you can feel it , can't you ? how wet my pussy gets just for you ? "

     imagine if he never went on that blind date . it would be the biggest fumble he'd ever had . grateful that he called his mom beforehand who told him to take the chance . owed it all to her that he found a love as strong and as deep as this . it was perfect , and spellbinding . “ i love you more , baby . ” he mutters , pressing his mouth to hers . tongue deep in her mouth as he begins to fuck into her . hands gripping her waist , groans dripping from his tongue . this is all that mattered . this is what life was living for . if he lost everything , but still had coral he knew that he'd be able to fucking make it . she was all he needed , and didn't care how cliche it sounds . as his hand slides to her thigh , eric does exactly what she asks . hold on the small of her back as he guides their bodies into place . back leaning against the chair he was once sitting in . “ ride me baby .. ––– let me watch you . you're so fuckin' pretty when you take what you need from me . so pretty and needy . ”

[sclfcare]

her heart sinks to her stomach . this wasn't how she intended for any of this to go . it's like emotions have gotten the best of them both . defenses raised too high to be lowered . can't ignore the way it feels like the most important person in her life is choosing to believe the very worst of her . " oh my god . it's like we're having two different conversations right now . it's how you brought it up , camryn ! with all your sneaky little digs at me , like i was being a bad partner when the whole situation was literally out of my hands ! i was going to tell you ! i was going to fucking tell you all of it ! you wouldn't give me the chance , cam , you didn't give me the chance ! " tears freely stream down freckled cheeks , timbre unsteady ⎯⎯⎯ caught somewhere between raising her voice and bawling her eyes out , " forget it . yeah , sure , okay , i'll get right on that ... " she can't remember ever having a fight this intense with camryn before . they bickered , they had their petty arguments , but this feels different . she won't even tell her she loves her . it's like she's been shut out with no possible way of getting back in . feels like audrey has left her body , like she's watching all this go down from the corner as she walks back into the bathroom to discard her toothbrush and grab her phone and tug her brother's hoodie over her head . it smells like him . god only knows how badly she needs a hug right now . the only option audrey feels she has is to put some space between her and cam for the night . their hairstylist , jamie's room is right across the hall . he feels like the safest bet . someone they both love and trust . switzerland , if you will . " i - i think ⎯ i'm just ⎯⎯⎯ i'm gonna go sleep with jay in h - his room . "

     “ i don't think you did anything intentionally , audrey . i just .. ––– i don't know ! maybe it's my fault for saying anything about it . i just wanted to know . clearly that feeling in itself is wrong . me feeling that way is wrong , i'm sorry that i brought it up . i'm sorry that i said anything . i understand , i hear you ! i hear you ! fuck ! ” heels of her hand wipes at her eyes . annoyed . completely annoyed . her feeling misconstrued to the point where she's not even sure she articulated it right . it makes her feel sick . her stomach sinking to her toes . couldn't even bring herself to tell her girlfriend that she loved her back . the words sit on the tip of her tongue but her heart aches so bad in her chest that she can't find the will to return them . to mend that bridge that's burning between them . “ alright . ––– like i said , please forget i said anything . i understand the situation we're both in . i get it . i won't bring it up ever again . ”