scrambledsignals - Tumblr blog

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For some reason I believe in privacy on the internet but oversharing on Tumblr

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I don't speak the language of trainers. What's the correct variety of white trainers that a 30-something lady can wear with an M&S jumpsuit?

I don't actually have an M&S jumpsuit but that's the kind of thing that I would wear if I had white trainers.

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Not got my favourite kind of yellows around at the moment. Veering towards the chartreuse, not enough of those golden mustards.

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ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be a 65 year old man

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Morecambe, November 2023 Olympus XA, Lomography Color 400

Rest of the roll

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Morecame Bay, November 2023 Olympus XA, Lomography Color 400

Rest of the roll

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Can I hire an expert in vibes, aesthetics and micro-identities to break down and pinpoint exactly what it is I'm trying to get at when I go off on a wander and take my film photographs?

I know it has an extractable essence and it would be nice to understand it well enough to be deliberate about it.

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Previously opted for cherry red Chelsea boots and beige-brown Birkenstocks. Would now go for brown Docs and black Birks, for what it's worth. Still the cork ones, mind you.

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Kickstarter campaign to raise £40,000 for:

John McGeoch: The Light Pours Out Of Me

Feature documentary celebrating the life and musical legacy of a legendary Scottish guitarist who defined the post-punk sound.

Would love to see this seen through to completion - join me in sending a few ££ their way?

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Don't know why I'm sad / for my fan club

AND

We love our audience

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Please don't confront me with my failures. I had not forgotten them.

AND

They know my weaknesses (I never tried to hide them) They know my weaknesses (Thought that you liked them)

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Dropping in to report that we've been working on a Jellyfin media server. Still ironing out some issues with Last.fm which resulted in my 'scrobbling' of Julian Cope's 'Your Facebook My Laptop' (of all things) for several hours straight one recent weekday afternoon.

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Came back to Tumblr to re-examine my thoughts & reactions to wisdom tooth extraction the last time around, 9 years ago. This year has been dominated with dental woes and in the final run-up to having that second lower wisdom tooth finally removed, along with its friend on the top, I kept remembering how I had to go to my temp job (with a 2 hour commute in each direction) the day after the extraction as I had used my annual/sick leave on recurrent UTIs. This time I was on strike, had surgical extraction privately under sedation with my husband to make sure I was safely conveyed home again and spent the best part of a week dosed up on painkillers, lounging on the futon with audiobooks playing.

10 years ago when I had just graduated and moved to London, I felt like the life I had imagined ahead of me was crumbling before my eyes with chronic pain, precarious employment and similarly impermanent relationships. At that point I was also in the midst of some dental issues. It's not uncommon that something crops up in my life now that reminds me of those times and I feel some kind of strangely close connection to challenges of the past, as keenly as a wave of nostalgia or regret but not quite either of those. I found an NHS dentist in Archway but needed to pay £100 for a mouth guard. At the time it deepened my overdraft, but I still have it after years of sitting unused and after the stresses of this year (which I haven't detailed online) and recent jaw clenching/tooth grinding, I'm making use of it again until I can see about getting a replacement.

There's something particularly vulnerable, emotive and frightening about toothache I think, aside from the wisdom teeth I had a deeply unpleasant and prolonged ordeal with a failed root canal earlier this year which I ultimately had to beg to have extracted after an apicocectomy, 5 courses of antibiotics (including a reaction to penicillins) and weeks of agony. I had ended therapy to absorb some of the losses from strike deductions, so this is my first attempt at an organised way of processing the saga. Out of necessity, my dentistry was also all done privately and the specialist I saw was only reachable by taxi so has depleted my savings painfully. At present I'm awaiting an NHS dental hospital appointment next month to investigate the ongoing nerve pain I have in the socket and my ear. Once I have some idea what's going on there I'm going to get an implant fitted. Hopefully then this chapter will be over.

Everything still changes all the time.

Since I last Tumbl’d I have had a wisdom tooth extracted, my job contract extended “at least until the end of January” and talked the apprentice out of quitting and running away to Scotland. 

Those things happened in reverse order actually. He quietly informed me of his intent to quit and escape while I ate a banana before staff training on Monday. I didn’t so much talk him out of it as listened while he talked himself out of it, but still. After getting paid to eat free fruit, I largely ignored the training only to be taken aside at the end of the day and asked if I’d stay on into the new year. Naturally I said yes. The anticlimactic final happening was going to get two wisdom teeth out and leaving with one in an envelope and the other still in my mouth. One was enough though, I’m still a tad puffy and pained. I’m still marveling at the existance of instant mashed potato. 

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Apparently there are ways to change your life other than changing jobs and moving cities?

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One of my favourite things to do remains drinking a cup of coffee and listening to Julian Cope's 1984 album 'Fried'.

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First photo walk since I discovered trainers. Never thought I'd ditch the docs but I'm in my 30s now and comfort is key.