seanlongauthor

[seanlongauthor]

You ever put everything i mean everything you have into someone. Every last drop of emotional energy, every bit of love and affection you can muster into someone, every fibre if your being into doing anything possible to be the best for that person and they just throw you away after lying to your face not 5 minuites prior that they wouldnt abandon you. It's like a set of boulders is repeatadly and rappidly crushing my heart. Its like my happiness has been reasigned to another person and ripped away from me. Its like every bad thing that has ever happened to you pales in comparison to the utter torment and distress you feel even thinking about almost 6 months of your life. Its to much it doesnt follow any kind of logic and its just to much.

[seanlongauthor]

kaneki x hide romance fic 18+ pt.1

“urgh! why is it so hot im literally dying” hide groaned. hide’s sitting at his regular table in anteiku uncomfortably hot waiting for kaneki to finish his shift. they’d arranged to got to the cinema after kaneki got off and see the new grey clover movie. “stop complaining” kaneki sighed from behind the counter. “unless you have money to pay for the tickets you need to let me finish my shift and be patient”. hide couldn’t argue with kaneki on that point as he hasnt been able to pay for any of their “friend” dates since the new term started. after kaneki started working at anteiku him and hide havent spent as much time together as they used to which has lead to hide not only missing kaneki but also having a feeling of yurning for kaneki  and his attention. hide no longer sees kaneki as just his friend but instead as some mysterious man who gives him butterflies everytime they engage in conversation. though hide would most likely never admit this to kaneki they both somewhat know that their friendships is turning more into a relationship as time goes by all that stops this change from happening is the two’s inability to make the first move. 

“bye touka” kaneki and hide called out seemingly in tandem as they headed out of the small cafe door onto the street. “i swear your shifts are getting longer and longer“ hide complained. “if you got a job i wouldn't have to work so much to keep your broke ass afloat“ kaneki retorted in a jokey teasing manner that made hide pout. “don’t worry i’m just joking around. come on lets start heading towards the cinema we don’t wanna miss the movie” kaneki reassured sensing that his joke had made hide feel bad about being unemployed. “can we get popcorn i’m starving” hide requested. his mood changing to his upbeat springy self. as they walked down the street kaneki (having agreed to buy hide a large salted popcorn) watched they boy he’d known since elementary school bounce with every step almost breaking into full fledged skipping. hide stopped and turned around sensing a warm stare from behind and smiled brightly at kaneki before continuing in the most whimsical fashion imaginable. this small action made kanekis heart skip a beat. just like hide the distance has helped to cultivate a romantic desire for hide in kanekis heart. as they get closer to the cinema hide can barely contain his excitement and and waits several feet in front of kaneki practically bouncing on the spot waiting for him to catch up. “lets go i cant wait.“ hide half shouted being mindful of his volume but also getting caught up in his excitement. hide grabs kenis hand and starts towards the cinema. kaneki is immediately flustered and underneath his eyepatch he can feel his eye start to twitch as his heart rate increases. just from having his hand securely accompanied by hide’s kaneki begins to grow more and more flustered meanwhile noticing the arrival of an issue that he quickly hides by placing his satchel over the front of his body covering his waist and what lies below it. 

that was the first part of a little thing i felt like writing if its any good i might continue and if you read it all your feedback is always welcome thanks. : )