sebfiction

[sebfiction]

it can be tempting to live your life like a prequel. to live as if you’re setting up your own story.and once you lose the weight, once you have the money, once you graduate school, once you’re in a real relationship, once, once, once. then finally, you’ll begin to live, and everything you do up until that point is some kind of half-life, some unimportant foreword you can skip. don’t do this. inhabit your life completely. sink fully into the wealth of your existence. the power to manifest is in the fearless owning of who you are, so that you can shape where you’re going.

[sebfiction]

ugh fine my personal blog is not cutting so I’ll post here 

DO! NOT! DONATE! TO! AMAZON! CONSERVATION! NGOs! DO NOT!

they don’t act on the root of the problem, they don’t mitigate the effects of deforestation, they do have limited action and they don’t help conserve the forest land outside their very small grounds besides doing little to nothing to help the people who actually live in the amazon and conserve it on a daily basis

DONATE TO THE INDIGENOUS MOVEMENTS INSTEAD

they are organized, they can keep woodcutting companies away from their land, they are getting murdered for it, they are the only reason there is any forest left at all

[sebfiction]

Hey, Doc!

Chapter 13

It had been a week since that day at the botanical gardens. And what a week it had been. You’d finally agreed to meet Max for coffee, and you were still not sure if it was a good idea or not. You’d barely seen Sebastian. Your scheduled hadn’t matched up that well, and the few times you had seen him had been with all your coworkers around, either at lunch, at set or in the medic trailer. He would make a point of always sitting next to you, letting your knees rub against each other. It made you feel like a middle schooler every time. But then you’d start thinking about Max, about the ways she’d make you feel and you’d pull away. All that feeling and thinking had exhausted you, and Sebastian had probably noticed something as well. In the beginning of the week he texted you a lot, but now he hadn’t texted in at least three days. You felt guilty for abandoning him like that, but you figured you’d text him after you’d gotten the whole Max thing out of the way.

Right now you were taking inventory of the drug cabinet, seeing what needed to be reordered and what you were stocked up on.

“Tylenol, Tylenol, Tylenol...” you muttered to yourself as you were searching the highest shelf.

“It’s on your left” someone said from behind you. You jumped at the sound and almost knocked down all the medications you’d been sorting.

“Thank you...” you replied as you turned around slowly. Guilt and shame washed over you. Sebastian was wearing dark washed jeans and a white tee, slightly damp from the drizzling rain outside.

“You’re a hard woman to find alone” he mused. He smiled gently towards you as he leaned against the door opening.

“I know, I’ve been, it’s uuuuh, I’ve had a weird week, I’m sorry for blowing you off” you began ranting. He cut you off with a laugh.

“You don’t have to apologize for being busy” he said, walking over to sit in one of the chairs you had. “But, if somethings going on you can tell me if you want. Or if you don’t want to that’s cool”. Your heart started beating in your throat.

‘Do I tell him about Max? I should tell him about Max.’ You thought.

“Nothings going on, don’t worry. I’m just busy, really” you lied.

‘Or I can pull that bullshit’ you mentally scolded yourself. Here was this great guy, who actually cared about you and wanted to listen to your troubles and you lied to his face for no good reason. Dumbass.

“Good!” He exclaimed, but his eyes looked a bit sad. Maybe he could tell you were lying. To clear the air of the tension you walked over to him and sat down on his lap.

“But it’s nice to finally see you” you told him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Maybe next week we can do something again. See a movie, order food, something like that” you proposed as your fingers slowly tangled in his hair. Sebastian hands slowly slid over your hips and up your back.

“I’d love that” he hummed, his eyes slowly closing. You sat there for a minute, your hands stroking his hair, his fingers running up and down your back, watching his face carefully. You allowed yourself, just briefly, to enjoy yourself. Then he opened his eyes again and leaned forward to place a kiss on your lips. Max, your job, your dissertation, the illegality of this very moment, it all faded away to leave only room for this. This kiss, this silence. His lips started to move slowly against yours, as his grip around your waist tightened. Your pulse quickened as his tongue pushed gently against your lips. You parted your lips slightly, deepening the kiss. His chest vibrated slightly as he hummed with pleasure. Footsteps outside made you jump off him and step backwards to the side of the trailer. He looked up at you in confusion before he heard it too.

“So anyways, the shoulder is feeling quite alright again, and the physical therapist you recommended is great actually” he said, just as Amanda walked in. She stopped at the doorstep when she saw the two of you there.

“Hi Sebastian! Didn’t realize you’d be here” she said cheerfully.

“Hi Amanda! Long time no see!” He replied and they started chatting. You turned back to the medicine cabinet, hoping your flush would calm down. When the heat had faded from your cheeks you turned back around smiling. Sebastian was standing in the doorway now, looking at Amanda while she was talking like a waterfall. He shot you a glance, and tried to suppress a smile.

“Anyways Seb, I’ll see ya around all right, you know the whole gang should go out again it was a whole lotta fun, well for the most part ya know” she continued.

“You’re right Amanda, I’ll see you around” he said before turning to you.

“And thanks again for the pain relief” he winked, effectively raising your heart rate again.

“No problem, Sebastian” you said as he turned and left.

— — —

A/N: soooo I’m sorry for not updating this in literally a year, lmao, but here’s two chapters in one day! Also, I’m genuinely trying to write more and update more regularly, and I have a clear idea of where I want the story to go, but I would love to hear what you guys want to happen! If you have something you’d like to read I’d love it if you messaged me about it! 💙 anyways, enjoy!!

[sebfiction]

Hey, Doc!

Chapter 12

The next Sunday you spent all day hunched over a book, desperately trying to make some progress on your dissertation. Even Andy could tell something was on your mind, and she tried her best not to bother you. She even made you hot chocolate, which she delivered with lots and lots of marshmallows and a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“If you think any harder now those lines between your eyebrows are gonna be permanent” she said softly, while gently stroking your hair. You hadn’t even realized how hard you’d been furrowing your brows until she pointed it out.

“Thanks” you mumbled and shot her a small smile.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, very gently. And so you told her. You told her what had happened after you went home with him from the bar, and the Sunday after. Your heart picked up the pace a bit when you told her about the kiss by the roses. And then it fell again when you told her that that was it. It had been fun and you both wished it could be more, but because of the situation the two of you were in it could never. Andy looked more upset than you when you finished explaining.

“Are you serious? You’re clearly a perfect match! You can’t just throw that away for some few pesky rules, I mean come on!!! For once, my dear (Y/N), please just for fucking once throw caution to the wind and let your heart lead instead of your brain!” She proclaimed dramatically, gesturing like and old Shakespearian actor.

‘Letting my heart lead too much seems to be my problem lately’ you though to yourself. It really didn’t feel nice, lying to Andy like that. But you didn’t have a choice. You and Sebastian had agreed to continue “hanging out” to see where your relationship could go. But you knew it had to be done completely in secret.

‘I can’t believe I’ll be lying to all my friends, and completely abandoning my morals for a boy’ you though bitterly. This wasn’t normal for you. But when you were with Sebastian, in that garden, nothin felt normal.

“Well honestly Andy, I kinda wish that too” you said. Andy gave you a sad smile, before she gently got up and left.

‘God bless that woman’ you thought. You looked down at your book, realizing there was no way you were gonna get anything more done today. Instead you got up, grabbed your shoes and your jacket, yelled a goodbye to Andy saying you wouldn’t be long, and slammed the door behind you. Then you started walking.

—

You’d been walking for upwards of an hour when your phone started buzzing furiously in your pocket. You fished it out, but once you saw the caller ID you wish you hadn’t. “Max”. You sighed deeply, your finger hovering over the reject button. But then you decided against it.

“Hey” you breathed into the microphone.

“Hi there” she answered. Her voice sounded chipper, it almost made you angry.

“What do you want, Max” you replied. It came of more aggressive than you wanted it to. You wanted to sound just as chipper as her. Even more, actually, but you weren’t.

“I just, well, I wanted to see how you were doing. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately”. Her voice was smooth, the same voice she’d used to woo you with in the first place.

“I’m good, Max. And you shouldn’t think all that hard, it’ll give you a headache”. The anger and left your voice now, and all that was left was exhaustion.

“What do you really want. I mean, I know you didn’t just call me to check up on me.”

She sighed on the other end.

“I was wondering, or more like hoping, that you would meet me for coffee. Clear the air a bit.” Now it was your turn to sigh.

“Listen, before you say no, just please remember there was a time when you loved me. And trusted me. You know, before I fucked that up.” Her voice sounded pleading. You hated it, but you felt sorry for her. And she was right after all, there was a time when you loved her.

[sebfiction]

Game of Thrones really masqueraded as a mysogynistic hellscape for long enough to draw in all the dudebros with superiority fantasies, only to turn around and have all the key players be women; Dany, Sansa, Cercei, Brienne – and then this week, the cherry on the fucking cake with my girl Arya fucking Stark, Azor Ahai herself, the Princess that was Promised, Defeater of the Long Night, the Champion of Light herself, who stabbed the fucking Night King and saved the whole fucking world.

[sebfiction]

SWEET HEAVENS carol danvers may be god herself but oh my tony stark is our lord and savior

[sebfiction]

Me watching Brie Larson reappear in an explosion followed by her greeting Peter in the softes way posssible: GOD IS A WOMEN NAMED CAROL DANVERS AND IM IN LOVE

Me watching Brie Larson appear on screen surrounded by an aura of light and energy: God is a WOMAN

[sebfiction]

Me watching Brie Larson appear on screen surrounded by an aura of light and energy: God is a WOMAN

[sebfiction]

Hey Doc!

Chapter 11

You woke up alone, which was weird because you distinctly remember falling asleep next to a very warm and big man. You stretched out across the bed, taking up the whole space. As you closed your eyes to go back to sleep you heard the door open. You sat up so quick you nearly hit your head on the headboard.

“Whoa there, it’s just me,” Sebastian said as he walked through the door. He was wearing a dark blue t-shirt with grey sweatpants. “Just went down to the cafe downstairs and got us some breakfast” he smiled, waving a cup of coffee in front of your face. You reached out and grabbed it so quickly Sebastian started laughing at you.

“You know that room service exists right?” you questioned him after taking a giant sip of coffee that burned your throat going down.

“Of course I know. But I thought it would be more romantic if I got it for you myself” he admitted, blushing slightly.

“Well that’s awfully nice of you” you smiled back. “How’s your shoulder?” you immediately asked, you doctor instincts taking over.

“Nope, not today” Sebastian responded. “Today you’re not my doctor. Today I’m taking you on a date” he stated. You took another sip of coffee, further burning your tongue, to conceal the very dorky smile that was threatening in the corners of your mouth.

“So where you taking me then?” You asked as the coffee warmed you from the inside.

“That’s a secret for now” he quipped.

—-

After breakfast, you showered and got dressed in your jeans from the day before and a t-shirt you borrowed from Sebastian that was way too big for you, though you tried your best to make it look like fashion. He still refused to let you know where you were headed in the Uber there, and if you tried asking him about it he made some joke about you giving up control for once and so on. You tried to stay calm as you chatted with him in the car but in reality, your nerves were getting the better of you.

‘What if this doesn’t feel right when we’re sober? What if we get sick of each other already? What if we can’t work together after this?’. The thoughts kept rummaging through your mind. After a while, the car came to a halt and you peeped out the window before Sebastian could stop you.

“Botanical gardens?!” You exclaimed in joy. Sebastian chuckled next to you.

“How did you know to take me here? I mean I’ve wanted to go for so long but how did you know that?” You asked, puzzled.

“Honestly I didn’t. I was actually kinda scared you’d been here before. But I also remember the amounts of plants you’ve put in the medic trailer, and the fact that I have caught you talking to them more than once” he mused. You blushed and quickly got out of the car, after thanking the driver. Sebastian followed close behind. The gardens were pretty much empty, except for a few elderly couples and a tired mum with a stroller and a kid running between her feet. You walked and talked and Sebastian listened patiently as you spewed fun facts about the different plants you saw. Eventually, you made your way into the massive greenhouse in the center of the garden. The atmosphere was thick with moisture and surprisingly warm. Though it was empty the air was filled with the low buzz of the heater systems. You strolled around slowly, leaning down to read the plaques in front of the more exotic plants. When you looked up from a plaque about an Adenium Obesium, a desert rose commonly found in Africa, you noticed Sebastian was looking at you. You straightened up and smiled back. As you were about to comment his weird staring he very calmly took a step forward, gently lifted your chin with a finger and placed his lips on yours. The gesture was so gentle yet it took you so much by surprise that it took you a few seconds before you melted into his touch. The two of you stood there for a while, relishing in the feeling of each other mixing with the sweet smell of flowers. When his lips finally parted from yours you couldn’t help but smile. He smiled back, grabbed your hand and said: “you know, I think I saw a cafe by the entrance, you hungry?”

——

The cafe was lovely. The cappuccino was lovely. The scone you had with it was lovely too. Most lovely, however, was Sebastian. He was really being the perfect gentleman, and you had nearly forgotten all your worries from earlier. Nearly. Until his t-shirt shifted a bit revealing the bruise that had changed from purple to a more greenish yellow color. Your heart sank into your stomach as you felt your smile fall from your face. Sebastian’s brows furrowed at the sight of you before he realized what had happened.

“Damn. I really hoped we could go the whole day before that became an issue” he said, smiling half-heartedly.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to ruin the day, I just-“

“I know” he interrupted you. “And you really don’t have to apologize. You’re a doctor and a damn good one. I just wish you were a bit more morally corrupt.” He chuckled. “I get that you don’t want to risk your career for this. And I respect that, and I promise I won’t be weird about it. I’m just glad I got today with you”. You couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response. Honestly, you couldn’t even form a clear thought. You knew he was right. Of course, you should end this right here. It was the morally and logically right thing to do. But you didn’t think about that. So instead of thinking or saying you did. Allowing yourself to be inspired by Sebastian’s own actions earlier you leaned across the table and placed a soft kiss to his lips. He kissed you back but the shock was evident on his face.

“You’re right. A more morally righteous doctor might be able to end this right here and now” you stated. He raised one eyebrow.

“Fortunately for you, I’ve always been a person driven more by emotions than logic.” He blinked a couple of times.

“So what happens now?”

[sebfiction]

Hey Doc!

(Hey guys just a little an! First of all thanks for 1k! I really never thought this would get any followers, so that’s cool, lol. AND two chapters in a row! You know your girls hardcore procrastinating, whoops. Anyways, enjoy!)

Chapter 10

You got your beers from Ali the bartender and gave Arik’s his before excusing yourself from your conversation.

“I have an ass to kick” you signed, before dramatically walking off. Sebastian was already standing by the pool table, a cue stick already in his hand. You tried not to stare at him as you walked to get your own cue stick. He was leaning slightly against the table, one arm flexed and the other stretched out chalking the end of his cue stick. He looked incredible.

“You ready?” He asked. You nodded and took the first shot. You sunk two balls.

“Guess I’m doing solid balls then” you commented. After that, the game was pretty even. And though both of you kept making up more and more ridiculous trash talk about the other, it felt so easy to be with him. After a few minutes, Anthony walked over to watch. And then Chris and Amanda joined, looking very friendly in your opinion. In the end, you lost by one ball. You sighed in bitter defeat as Sebastian whooped and cheered. Trying to be a graceful loser you offered Sebastian to buy him a beer, which he accepted with minimal gloating. As you returned to the group, who were now watching Chris and Anthony play, with the victory beer in hand, you noticed Amanda wasn’t by the pool table anymore.

“Did you see where Amanda went?” You asked Sebastian as you handed him his beer.

“Oh I’m pretty sure she went to the bathroom” he replied. “And thanks for the game. Probably the most fun I’ve had playing pool” he said, right as you were about to walk off.

“Thanks” you replied, a little stunned by the sweet comment. Then you excused yourself to look for Amanda. You really wanted to talk to her about, well, everything, and you needed some privacy away from the guys. As you were getting closer to the bathroom you started hearing voices.

“Come on, don’t hold out on me now” a man's voice spoke. Your guts started filling with a bad feeling, and you picked up your pace. When you rounded the corner you saw Amanda pressed up against the wall, a stranger leaning against the wall, trapping her.

“Amanda!” You exclaimed, getting their attention. Amanda’s face lit up in relief. “I’ve been looking for you, I need to talk to you” you continued, grabbing her hand and trying to pull her away without starting a scene. But this creep of a guy was not gonna leave you alone.

“Hey wait a minute, we were in the middle of something!” He exclaimed, grabbing Amanda’s other hand. You froze and slowly turned around, stepping closer to him.

“Listen, dude, she’s not interested, so you need to take a hint and leave us alone,” you said in a serious tone. The man looked you up and down for a moment.

“Whatever you dyke, she’s not that hot anyway” he scoffed. You stopped in your tracks.

“Why don’t you go ahead, Amanda. I’ll be right there” you muttered through gritted teeth. Amanda slowly walked away as you stepped closer to the guy. You took a deep breath.

“Apologize” you demanded. The guy looked at you in disbelief.

“No” he just answered.

“No I don’t leave until you either give me a really good fucking explanation for what was happening, or you apologize” you demanded again. You felt your pulse rising as the guy scoffed at you again.

“We were just flirting ok, it really wasn’t a big deal” he tried.

“No that shit was not flirting, that was harassment. And then you used a slur towards me, and offend my friend. So that explanation does not cut it buddy” you said, anger rising in your throat.

“Listen, I don’t have to answer to this shit. So what I offended you? You’re a raging bitch, and your friend is a tease” he yelled and tried to push past you. And before you had the sense to stop yourself you had punched him in the face. And as he was about to start yelling at you again, you grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down so you were face to face.

“Let me make one thing fucking clear buddy, you need to learn how to act because harassment is never ok under any circumstances, and trust me if you do that shit again I will know, my fucking raging bitch sense will start to tingle, and I will take a nutcracker to your balls” you calmly whispered right in his ear. And then you walked away in a storm of fury. Before you had time to cool down you realized Sebastian was standing right in front of you, with a shocked look on his face.

“Sebastian I... can explain?” You tried, as your heart dropped.

“No Amanda explained enough. I just thought you might be in trouble. But clearly, you’re fine on your own” he said, chuckling a little. You smiled in relief. And then the guy blowing past you in a rage reminded you of the situation.

“How about we get you a beer and an ice pack” Sebastian chuckled and placed a hand on your shoulder as you both walked away. As you returned Anthony started clapping.

“I just saw that dude basically grab his guys and run outta here, now I don’t know what the fuck you did but I know I hope I never experience it” he joked. You smiled and bowed jokingly.

“Excellent point Mackie, but please excuse us as Dr. Kickass deals with the consequences of punching someone in the face,” Sebastian said, sparing you the embarrassment of the attention. You walked with him behind the bar and quickly explained what happened to Ali, who got you a bag of ice and then left to tend to the bar.

“You don’t have to help me you know, as a doctor I am more than competent enough to hold a pack of ice to my hand,” you told him as you get up on the counter.

“I know,” he replied, leaning against the counter next to you. “But you kept me company a whole night when I acted like a moron and got hurt, so I’m returning the favor”. The way you were sitting made you the same height. You resorted to staring at your hand to avoid making eye contact.

“Besides, I actually like spending time with you” he continued suddenly. Your head snapped up, and you were face to face with Sebastian. “Maybe we could hang out one day, just you and me” he proposed, as his mouth twitched nervously.

“I’d like that” you smiled. For a second you became acutely aware of the fact that your faces were very close. It was silent between the two of you for a moment, and then Ali returned and shushed you out again. Though he was nice, he hated having people behind the bar. You joined the crew members still sitting by your table, which included Arik and Sebastian’s makeup girl, Sarah. After that, the night went on as usual. You talked, drank, played games, and drank some more. Quite some time passed until you realized you felt quite tired and you wanted to go home. As you stood up to go grab your coat, something in the corner of your eye caught your attention. It was Sebastian, obviously quite drunk, sitting by the bar with a glass of water. You sighed at the sight of this big man sitting alone, looking a bit like a child. And then you walked over to him.

“How’s it going there, supersoldier” you joked and watched as he seemingly awakened from dosing off with a snap.

“Ooh not so good, doc. I should’ve listened to you about the drinking and the pills and that” he slurred.

“How about we share an Uber home, huh?” You proposed. You smiled at the sight of this soft giant, with rosy cheeks, droopy eyes, and messy hair. He just nodded, waited at the bar while you got your jackets, and said bye to everyone. You had to support him under the arm as you made your way outside, to wait for an Uber. Though your hand ached and you really wanted to sleep, leaning against the building with Sebastian wrapped around your shoulder like that you couldn’t help but imagine what would happen if you started dating. And he’s the one who said he wanted to hang out with you more. ‘Wait did he try to ask me out? He meant just as friends right?” You suddenly thought. As you got into your Uber you noticed Sebastian grabbing your hand, and then putting his head on your shoulder in the backseat.

‘He’s way too drunk for this to mean anything” you tried to convince yourself, but couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it was to be this close to him.

You eventually managed to get him up the stairs and back to his room. As you sat next to him on the bed trying to catch your breath for a second he suddenly spoke, sounding a lot soberer now.

“How did you get like this?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You replied, thoroughly confused by the question.

“I mean how did you get so nice? You’ve had a pretty rough couple of years it seems, but you’re still so... caring. And funny, and smart, and just so incredibly kind”.

He’d barely finished the sentence before you had kissed him. You didn’t really plan to, but his lips looked so soft, and his eyes kept darting down to your mouth and all of a sudden your lips were on his and oh my it felt so right. It took him a second to react, and you instantly thought ‘oh no he’s not into this’, but then his hand was cupping your face and his lips were moving against yours and oh my it felt like nothing had before. Soft, sloppy, needy and exactly right. After a short while, you broke apart, coming up for air. Sebastian’s hand lingered in your face.

“I’ve hoped you’d do something like that since a week after I met you” he muttered, his eyes glinting in the darkness.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for just as long” you confessed until a horrible thought dawned on you.

‘He’s still my patient’. Sebastian must’ve seen your expression change, cause suddenly his eyes filled with worry and he asked: “is something wrong?”. You pulled away a bit further.

“You’re my patient Sebastian. So I should never have done that” you muttered.

“So what? You want to pretend this never happened? Go back to being doctor and patient, and then go our separate ways” he muttered, his voice sounding hurt.

“It’s what a good doctor would do” you muttered back.

“Can’t you be a bad doctor then? Just this once?” He answered, sounding nearly pleading. His hand found yours in your lap. And even though it went against every logical thought in your head, once more you leaned forward and placed your lips on his. His hands were quicker this time, one in your hair the other in the small of your back. Your hands made their way up to his neck, and you let your fingers run through his hair. You felt his spine shiver slightly at the sensation, making you chuckle. He broke you apart now but kept you close.

“Stay the night. We can figure out what to do with this in the morning” he muttered, and you couldn’t respond to you just nodded slightly. Sebastian connected your lips again, slowly this time, before leaning you down till you were laying down on the bed, as he hovered over you. He positioned himself in between your legs, and you discovered how tiny you were compared to him. He used his arms to hold up his weight, to avoid crushing you, as your lips slowly moved against each other. Though you felt like you could have spent an eternity like this, just enjoying the feeling of his lips against yours he eventually pulled away again.

“I’ll get you a t-shirt you can sleep in,” he told you and kissed your cheek before he got up. You leaned on your elbows, a bit confused by the sudden change of pace. Sebastian grabbed a shirt for you and then walked into the bathroom. He returned with a toothbrush in his mouth and laughed at the confused expression on your face.

“Though I’d love to take this further, I want to do this right. And I think we should take it slow for now” he explained.

“That’s... very thoughtful of you” you replied. After Sebastian finished brushing his teeth, you grabbed his t-shirt and got in after him. You grabbed one of the hotel-toothbrushes and quickly brushed your teeth, tried to wash away as much makeup you could by using just water and changed into Sebastian’s shirt. It nearly reached your knees. Sebastian laughed as you exited the bathroom. You gave him a jokingly serious look.

“You know what, I think it looks better on me than on you!” He proclaimed.

“Oh of course you do” he answered, and leaned in for another kiss. You put your finger on his lips.

“No no, you can’t laugh at me and expect to get kisses for it. Say I look better in this shirt than you” you demanded jokingly. He raised his eyebrows at you.

“You would look better than me in any of my clothes,” he said dramatically. You pecked him on the lips and dashed out of his reach.

“That’s all I get? That’s not fair, it was an amazing compliment” he exclaimed, faking offense.

“If you want more you have to earn it” you replied in a bratty tone. Sebastian started walking menacingly towards you. You crawled back on the bed until you hit the headboard.

“You’re trying to intimidate me with the winter soldier look, huh?” You continued joking. Sebastian got on the bed and crawled towards you. Still laughing, you tried to jump out of his reach again, but he was too quick this time. Suddenly he had you pinned against the mattress, straddling you, with both your wrists in one hand. Your pulse spiked so quickly you were worried he might feel it on your wrist. And then he slowly leaned down and kissed you, not aggressively but with a lot of tenderness, and care.

“I guess you do deserve that after all” you muttered when your lips parted again.

“We should sleep” he muttered back.

“We really should” you replied.

[sebfiction]

Hey Doc!

Chapter 9

You ate breakfast together, and then said you’d see each other at the bar later that night. As you got in your car and drove back to the apartment you realized you felt ridiculously excited to see him again later. But first, you had to shower, write and try to convince Darren to not kick you out of the band for good. Though it wasn’t at all serious, having a hobby like that kept you grounded in a way, so you wouldn’t get eaten up by work like you’d been before.

“Hey, Andy!” You shouted as you dropped your keys in the jar by the door.

“Hey (Y/N)!” She shouted back, which was followed by the sound of something falling and the sound of Andy yelling “Ow!”. You shook your head and smiled at the familiar sound. Andy always said she was lucky to live with a doctor considering how often she hurt herself.

“You ok?” You shouted from the hallway.

“Yeah I’m fine, just dropped a book on my toe” she answered. “How come you’re coming home at 9 am?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows at you from the door to the living room.

“Oh shut it. It was a work thing!” You promptly answered.

“Oh really? A work thing? What kinda work thing has you blushing like that?” She pressed on. You gasped in shock.

“I am not blushing!” You yelled and smacked her with your jacket. She just jumped away and winked, before running away laughing. You sighed, before going to the bathroom. After taking a shower, you sat down in your room with every intention to write on your doctoral dissertation. But no matter how hard you tried your min kept slipping away from you. You sat there for nearly two hours until you decided to just take a nap instead. After all, you didn’t exactly get a full nights sleep.

—

As usual, your sleep was filled with dreams. But they weren’t the usual dreams you had. Usually, you would either dream of Yemen or your parents, sometimes work. This time however you had a nice dream. It was vague and you couldn’t remember the details when you woke, but one element was clear as day. Sebastian. He was there, saying something you forgot as soon as you regained consciousness, but his smile and his soft eyes wouldn’t fade from your mind.

“Hey sleeping beauty,” Andy said from your bedroom door. “I’m making pasta for dinner, you want some?” She asked, her always kind eyes gleaming towards you.

“Oh pasta would be great” you admitted. No more than 30 minutes later the two of you were sitting in the living room chatting like usual. You’d only known each other for about two months, but Andy was one of the people who genuinely cared about everyone she met. And when she met you she basically took you in like a lost kitten and had been an amazing friend ever since.

“So all jokes aside, who is this person who has you blushing like that?” She asked, swirling a noodle around her fork.

“It’s... well it’s a coworker. Actually, he’s technically a patient, so me being blushy because of him is a problem!” You told her after a long sigh.

“Oh ok! So this is that kinda secret in the shadow romance then!” He laughed.

“Noo!” You exclaimed. “It’s not a romance! I just have a little crush, it’s not like it can ever become something!” You said strictly.

“Why can’t anything happen?” She asked.

“One: he’s technically my patient. Two: he’s a big star ok, he probably only dates other stars” you said as you shoveled spaghetti in your mouth.

“Wait he’s one of the stars? Why didn’t you lead with that!?” She nearly shouted. “You have to tell me who it is, immediately!”. You swallowed hard.

“If I tell you, you have to promise to NEVER tell anyone!” You said sternly. She nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s Sebastian Stan,” you said in defeat. Andy immediately squealed and jumped so violently you almost dropped your pasta.

“Jesus Andy, I nearly spilled my past..” you muttered but was interrupted by Andy yelling “The Sebastian Stan?” directly at your face. You winced backward from her.

“Yes... the Sebastian Stan” you answered after wiping some of her spit away from your face. “But like I said, it’s not like anything can or will happen! I just have a stupid crush” you insisted again.

“So when do you see him again?” She continued questioning you.

“I mean a few of the cast and crew are going to a bar tonight, so I suppose I’ll see him then” you answered.

“Omg please help me pick out an outfit for you!” She squealed. Andy loves dressing you up, so every time you couldn’t be bothered finding an outfit she did it for you.

“Sure, but not something to dressed up! Or too sexy! Just something casual” you demanded. She smiled and nodded.

A few hours ready you were all dolled up according to Andy’s wishes. You studied your reflection in the body length mirror in your hallway. You were wearing distressed black jeans, with a blue shirt with a Japanese flower pattern. It was the perfect outfit for the occasion. You had your hair brushed and loose, and Andy had stepped up your makeup game a notch.

“You are nearly finished young padawan,” Andy said in a funny voice as she held out your old and trusty leather jacket. You chuckled as you grabbed it out of her hand and put it on. “You are complete, my student,” she said as she bowed dramatically.

“You’re a massive dork, have I told you that?” You joked.

“I believe that’s the first time today missus” she replied. You thanked her for the help before you heard a car honk outside.

“That would be my ride,” you said, before bidding your goodbyes and bouncing out the door. Amanda was sticking her head out the window ginning wife as you approached the car.

“You’re looking awfully cheerful” you noted as you got into the passenger seat.

“Oh, I’m just excited about tonight. I’ll get to talk to Chris some more, and you’ll get to spend some more time with Sebastian” she winked at you. “Speaking of, how was last night?”. You sighed.

“Last night was... nice! And uneventful” you said, giving her a look signaling her to not ask more. You spent the rest of the drive chatting as usual. Amanda managed to steer every topic over to Chris, but you didn’t mind. When you got to the pub, which was the one you’d recommended, you saw that quite a few from the cast and crew had already arrived. They waved from their table enthusiastically. And though it might just have been wishful thinking, you could swear Sebastian waved more enthusiastically than the others. You found your seats and greeted everyone. You sat next to Arik, and Amanda sat next to you again, with Chris on her other side. You could almost feel her heart beating next to you. Anthony ordered a round of beers for the table, and before you knew the conversation was flowing. You and Arik were excitedly signing a conversation about one of his more recent flings.

“If he’s not going to go all in, I’m gonna leave. I can’t be way more invested in this than he is” Arik signed with a determined look on his face.

“I agree” you signed back. “You want another beer?” You asked. He nodded and you grabbed your two empty glasses and headed to the bar. Ali, the bartender, was someone you’d gotten to know quite well lately because your band sometimes played at this bar and he seemed to always be working.

“Hey, lovely girl! How are you?” He greeted you when you approached the bar.

“I’m great, sweet gentleman, how are you?” You replied as he started to refill your beers.

“You know, the usual” he shrugged. As he started tapping the second glass the phone rang, so he left to go answer it.

“Hey there Doc” a familiar voice that made your pulse peak spoke next to you. You turned around to be face to face with a smiling Sebastian.

“Hey Sebastian” you replied. “How’s my favorite patient doing?” You joked.

“Aaw I bet you say that to all your patients” he replied. “And I’m doing great, the Tylenol you gave me is keeping the pain at bay and my head feels great!”.

“I know I already said this this morning, but be careful with alcohol when you’re on Tylenol. Doesn’t always mix well” you warned.

“Meh, I can hold my alcohol” he shrugged. You looked at him with a doubtful look.

“Someone saying that before a night out has never ended well Sebastian” you warned him.

“Is that a challenge” he teased. You noticed he was in a good mood, practically overflowing with energy.

“That is definitely not a challenge! And I do seriously, as your doctor, advice you to not drink alcohol while on Tylenol” you pressed.

“I can’t tell you how many ER patients I’ve had that mixed alcohol and painkillers and didn’t realize how bad of an idea that was”. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

“How about this; a pool match. If I win you put down the mantle of doctor for the night and just have fun, and if you win you have complete control over my drinking. Does that sound good?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh, that sounds great. But be warned, just because you hurt your shoulder doesn’t mean I’m gonna go easy on you” you mocked. Sebastian laughed heartily, a sound which made the term “butterflies in my stomach” come to your mind.

[sebfiction]

I LOVE the new update I can’t wait to read the next part 💕 I’m gonna be so sad when this fic ends oml

Omg thank you soo much! 💕💕 I love writing this so I’ll probably never finish it hahah 😄😄

[sebfiction]

Hey Doc!

(Lol I managed to delete the first post so here’s a repost! And I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I know it’s moving kinda slow, but it’s gonna be worth it! :))))

Chapter 8

You lost track of how long you were sitting up on that roof. Between being mesmerized by the clear night sky and the conversation that flowed like a river both of you forgot the time. When you eventually noticed that it was getting pretty late you hesitantly told Sebastian that he’d better get some sleep. So you got in your car and you drove the two of you to the hotel. The car ride was mostly silent. A comfortable silence after all the talking you’d done on that roof. As soon as you got to the hotel you realized how inconvenient it would be for you to have to drive from your own apartment every time you had to wake Sebastian up. And as you were wracking your brain on how to bring it up without sounding super awkward Sebastian said: “Hey if you want you can take the bed and I’ll take the couch”. You met his eyes.

“Just so you don’t have to drive from your place every time you have to wake me up”.

“No no you need a good nights sleep. I can take the couch. But thanks” you smiled back.

As you got to the hotel you grabbed your overnight bag from the trunk and followed Sebastian as he showed you the way to his room. You took turns in the bathroom, and after he tried to convince you to take the bed one last time and you refused you both went to bed, with an alarm set for two hours. You both said goodnight but you suspected that Sebastian was just as awake as you were. Your eyes seeing shapes in the darkness that wasn’t there, and your ears acutely tuned to the sound of Sebastian’s steady breathing. You jumped when he eventually spoke.

“You asleep?” He asked, his quiet voice sounding loud in the silence.

“That’s kind of a stupid question to ask you know” you quietly responded, mentally noting the way your heart started beating slightly faster.

“Well I have the head for acting, remember, so I don’t need to be smart” he retorted.

You chuckled and listened as it faded away into the darkness.

“But you are smart though,” you said after a brief pause.

“Really?” He mused.

“I’m not going to say it again” you joked. It was quiet for a little while again.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked.

“I’m here because you decided it was a good idea to take off your safety wires before you were safely on the ground” you replied.

“No, why are you working as a set medic? You said you were specializing as a trauma surgeon, so this seems a little below your pay grade”. You swallowed hard.

“Honestly, I don’t know why I took this job. But I know that I’m not ready to go back to London” you told him.

“Still, you could have gotten a job at an actual hospital? Continue to work in trauma here” he continued to dig.

“Well, you see the thing about being a trauma doctor is you see a lot of horrible things. And a lot of the time when the patient arrives at the hospital it’s already too late. And after Yemen I needed a break from all the death”. You didn’t realize what you were saying until you heard Sebastian quietly mutter “oh” somewhere in the darkness.

“Wow that got morbid fast!” you chuckled awkwardly. “We really should try to get some sleep anyways” you quickly said before he could answer.

“I guess I should listen to my doctor. Goodnight” he answered.

—

You sat up in bed so fast your head started spinning. For a minute you tried desperately to orient yourself in the pitch black darkness. Your breathing was fast and shallow, and your skin clammy as you slowly managed to distinguish dream from reality. It was the slow and steady breathing coming from the other end of the darkness that made you realize where you were. You fumbled around till you found your phone, and saw you still had about half an hour left on the timer.

“Hey” a soft voice spoke. “Did the timer go off?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh no, you’ve got about 30 minutes left. Didn’t mean to wake you up” you answered him. You silently got up and slipped into the bathroom, trying not to disrupt your roommate for the night even more. As your eyes adjusted to the harsh light you took stock of yourself in the mirror. Messy hair, face still freckled from the time abroad, skin gently glistening with sweat. ‘It was just a dream. You’re not there anymore’ you mentally repeated to yourself as you washed your face with cold water. As you snuck out of the bathroom Sebastian spoke again.

“Are you ok?” His voice was gentle and concerned. “Don’t mean to pry, but you talked in your sleep. I think it was French? I didn’t really understand it but you seemed scared”. You didn’t respond right away. You didn’t know how to.

“It’s not a big deal. Just a bad dream” you eventually said. You could hear him sitting up, and he turned light on. He looked ruggedly handsome, his thick hair kinda messy and his eyes slightly puffy.

“Wanna talk about it?” Your heart started beating faster as you noticed the way his voice scratched and how he suppressed a yawn. He moved over slightly, making room for you in the bed next to him. You hid a smile and walked to the bed and sat down next to him.

“It wasn’t really a dream as much as a memory. From Yemen. I’ll spare you the gory details, but we lost a lot of patients that night. And a few of our own”. You could feel him looking at you as you closely examined your hands in your lap.

“I... I’m so sorry” he eventually said. “I had no idea”. You looked up and met his eyes. His brows were furrowed in concern and he had an innocent look in his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it. Its just a bad nights sleep now and then” you assured him. He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind.

“If it helps there’s room enough in the bed for both of us” he quietly said, gently placing a hand on yours.  

—

The next time you woke up it was slow. The gentle tune of your alarm was ringing next to you on the bedside table. As you stretched out to turn it off you felt the weight of Sebastian shift behind you.

“Did two hours pass already?” He groaned, his voice hoarse and low.

“Yeah, sorry. How’s your head feeling?” You asked as you yawned.

“I don’t know, tired I guess” he muttered as he rubbed his eyes. “But my shoulders kinda hurting a bit now” he continued.

“Mind if I take a look?” You asked, silently hoping it didn’t sound too creepy. He sat up with his bad should towards you, and you lightly tugged at the loose fitting t-shirt he was wearing. His entire shoulder had turned red and blue, which wasn’t unexpected, but it still looked quite nasty.

“The swelling has gone down a bit already, which is good, but you’re bruised quite badly,” you told him, as you gently felt around for abnormalities. He shivered as you pressed a finger to his neck.

“You have really cold hands” he muttered.

“Oh sorry” you chuckled and felt as your heart beat slowly started rising. “I could get you some more painkillers if you like,” you told him, as you let his arm go. In the absence of his hot skin against yours, you realized that you actually were feeling a bit cold.

“What time is it?” He asked you.

“About 4 am” you answered. He just yawned and stretched out.

“Wake me up in two hours I guess” he muttered, as he rolled over on his side. With his eyes closed, and his hands under his cheek like that he looked almost like a teenager. You quietly set the new alarm and laid down next to him. Facing him like this it felt as if the two of you were way more than just colleagues. Looking at him you kept imagining what would have happened if the two of you would have met as teenagers. Would you even bother to get to know each other?

—

When you woke up again you felt warm. Your eyes shot up? Why were you warm? And then you quickly realized it was because of the arm that was draped across your torso. You looked over to see if the owner of the said arm was awake. He was still sleeping peacefully, so without disturbing him too much you traced over to stop the alarm. And then you very carefully slipped out from his grip, a bit sad to be void of his touch again. You tiptoed to the bathroom to freshen up a bit, and then you returned to the bed. You sat down and gently shook Sebastian’s shoulder. He grunted and slowly opened his eyes.

“Hey (Y/N)” he muttered with a smile on his face. “As you can see I’m not dead, may I please continue sleeping?” He asked. You chuckled.

“How’s your head?” You asked, trying not to smile at his cuteness.

“Amazing, my shoulder doesn’t hurt, however, I am feeling a bit cold. Is that a symptom too, doc?” He teased as he rubbed his eyes. You chuckled.

“Fine, I’ll let you sleep on then” you sad as you climbed back under the cover next to him, this time just an inch closer than before, silently enjoying the warmth radiating from him. You fell asleep for the fourth time listening to his breath.

—

He was the one to wake up first this time. He gently shook you awake, and as you gained consciousness his blue eyes were the first thing you saw.

“Hey, sorry to wake you from your peaceful slumber but your alarm went off. And I figured I’d go get us some breakfast” he smiled.

[sebfiction]

damn i just read hey doc and it’s really intriguing i like it a lot! i’m excited to read more :)

Aaaah omg thank you!!!!! I promise I’m working on it, and messages like these make me so happy 💕💕💕💕

[sebfiction]

God your ‘Hey Doctor’ series is incredible! When is the next chapter going up?

Hi! First of all, thank you so much for you feedback, it means a lot ☺️☺️ and I am writing the next chapter as fast as I can, but I’m currently working extra shifts in a hospital as well as studying 😅 but soon, I promise!

[sebfiction]

Chapter 7

You started cleaning up the plates.

“How’s your head?” You asked Sebastian as he was rummaging around in the cupboards.

“It’s ok. Hurts a bit but the pills you gave me are still working.”

“I should probably get you to your hotel room though, so you can sleep a bit” you said and sat up.

“No-“ he exclaimed much to your surprise. “I mean, I’m really not tired yet. Let’s watch a movie. Please.” His eyes were giving you a begging look that was impossible to deny.

“Hmmmm ok” you said skeptically. “But you have to tell me if your head starts to hurt more” you commanded. He smiled and nodded as you sat down again, this time just a bit closer than before.

“So what do you wanna see?” He asked as he was scrolling through the Netflix library.

“I don’t know. I really haven’t paid attention to movies lately, been a bit busy” you admitted. And then you had an idea. “Let’s watch one of your movies!” You exclaimed excitedly. Sebastian looked at you in surprise.

“No!” He laughed. “No way! I don’t like watching my own movies.”

“Oh come on!” You pouted. He shook his head furiously.

“What if I told you The Martian is one of my favourite books, but I never got to see the movie, and that I think you owe me as much considering I canceled my plans for this,” you said and stuck your bottom lip really far out. He looked at you in disbelief.

“You are unbelievably manipulative” he stated after a short while. You smiled and nodded. “I will watch The Martian with you IF you promise that you’ll let me ask you questions afterwards” he suggested. You considered it for a second and then you agreed. As he found the movie you got cozy under the blanket. He looked up at you one last time before pressing play.

“I hope you know how painful this is” he mumbled. You smiled deviously.

“I guess I owe you as much considering I’m the reason you have to spend your Friday babysitting me. You probably had plans and all” he muttered as he handed you a bowl of popcorn he’d made.

“Oh, no big plans” you assured him.

“I heard you talk on the phone with someone earlier. Seemed like you had to cancel something” he confessed. You turned to face him.

“You know it’s rude to eavesdrop. And it wasn’t a big deal, it was just band stuff” you told him, as you got comfortable in the large sofa.

“You’re in a band?” Sebastian asked as he sat down next to you.

“Yeah, bass and sometimes guitar. But it’s just for fun, or at least for me” you answered. Sebastian opened his mouth to ask another question but you stopped him.

“No talking during the movie. And definitely no talking about me!” You said and held up a finger. Sebastian rolled his eyes and turned his attention towards the screen.

The two of you watched the movie mostly in silence, only interrupted by you silently smiling and nudging Sebastian’s thigh with your foot every time he was on screen. And of course, Sebastian shrugging in embarrassment every time you did that. When the credits rolled Sebastian was relieved and you were thoroughly impressed.

“So that was... amazing. I mean I’ve seen you act as Bucky, and misunderstand me right I love Bucky, but you truly nailed Chris Beck!” you told him eventually. Sebastian blushed furiously and muttered a “thanks”. You got up and walked to the kitchen with the now empty popcorn bowl.

“I really admire what you do. The acting thing, honestly wish I had the head for it sometimes” you continued.

“The head for it?” Sebastian asked from the couch.

“Yea, I think actors all have this level of emotional intelligence that most people don’t. Tea?” Sebastian smiled and nodded.

“So why did you become an actor?” You asked him as you filled up the kettle. Sebastian stretched his arms over his head.

“I guess it’s just the only thing that makes sense for me. Did actually want to be an astronaut when I was a kid though” he chuckled.

“Really? An astronaut?” You laughed in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, why’s that so surprising?”.

“It’s not really it’s just, I dressed up as an astronaut every Halloween till I was about 10. I had posters of the solar system covering the walls of every room I had” you told him. He smiled a warm smile that made your heart skip a beat.

“Guess we’ve got a lot in common you and I” he hummed.

“So why medicine then?” he asked after a short silence. “Why didn’t you go into astrophysics or something like that?”.

“Don’t know, to be honest. I just think physics is too theoretical for me. Don’t have the head for it I guess” you turned to grab two cups.

“So what do you have the head for then?”. Sebastian sounded closer now.

“Well, medicine. I hope” you chuckled. You turned to Sebastian who was standing by the counter next to you and handed him the cups. Then you got on your tiptoes and tried to grab the package of tea bags. You could feel Sebastian watching your back.

“Do you need any hel-“

“No thanks,” you interrupted before he could properly finish.  

With a small jump, you managed to push the tea close enough for you to grab it. You finished brewing the tea and poured some for both Sebastian and you. You could feel him silently watching you as you wrapped your hands around your cup, relishing in the comforting warmth.

“Come with me” Sebastian suddenly said, and without waiting for you started walking towards the door.

“Wait where are you going?” you exclaimed as he walked out the door of the trailer.

“Just come with me!” he yelled back as he disappeared. You sighed and followed him, only to find him standing on the trash can next to his trailer.

“What on earth are you doing?” you laughed. He smiled down at you.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna watch the stars,” he answered and handed you his teacup. And then, quickly and with surprising ease, he used his one good arm to hoist himself up on the roof. A few seconds later Sebastian’s head popped over the edge. “You coming?”

“You know as your doctor I really have to advise against this,” you told him. And then held out the two teacups for him to grab before climbing up next to him. “But as a space fiend, I think this is a great idea”.

[sebfiction]

What would your advice be on starting a new account writing about Bucky Barnes?

Hey! To be honest I’m probably not the person to ask 😅 but what I did was make sure it’s very clear what this tumblr is for (hence the name, header and photo) hehe. And then I just posted the first three chapters and added all the tags I could think of as slightly relevant! 🙌🏾 but I look forward to reading your stuff tho!