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OOC:
Hi there! If you're looking for Sebastian's current account, click here! I switched them around, because I missed the shaken-not-smythe URL. Thanks!
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OOC: Parting of the Ways
Hey, everybody! So this is a sad message to write, but unfortunately the time has come for me to leave WMKU. I've enjoyed my time here and I'll miss everyone very much, but I just don't think this is the place for me anymore.
Seb's story will now be continuing in two different forms. As I've already mentioned, Hunter's player and I have decided to carry on our Huntbastian as a 1x1, and Seb's new account for that is oppan-bastian-style. Additionally, Kurt's player and I will be continuing Kurtbastian's storyline in a different roleplay. Seb's new account there is sebfrancisco. Feel free to continue following whichever plotline you like best. <3
Thank you very much to everyone at WMKU for putting up with me for this long! Best of luck to you all! I truly enjoyed the heck out of being your Seb. <3
Love and hugs forever,
Riley
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Cold Coffee || Kurtbastian
Tagging: Kurt Hummel and Sebastian Smythe.
Location: Inside Kurt's Navigator.
General Notes: At long last, the walls come down.
Sebastian's skin tingled as he slid into the passenger seat of Kurt's car. The evening was still so incredibly fresh in his mind he felt as though he might have left part of himself sitting in the theater. The Great Gatsby had always been one of his favorite books and he'd been secretly head-over-heels when he's first heard it was being made into a full-on Hollywood blockbuster. The story was bizarre and hopeless and ridiculously shallow, and forever misunderstood by most readers, but Seb had a sneaking suspicion that those were all the reasons why he loved it so much. There was something so relevant and just.. gettable in the character of J. Gatsby.. Sebastian felt that he could completely understand the man's inability to move forward and let go of the past and his idyllic version of his future. All this time, as he waited for the movie to finally - finally!! - be released into theaters, Sebastian had assumed he would be going to see it alone. Who else would be as excited as he was about seeing this oddly famous little novel made into a film? But when Kurt suggested that they go see it, somehow the thought struck Sebastian as the most natural thing in the world. Of course Kurt would go with him. They did most things together nowadays. And later when Kurt turned out to be not only interested but just as full of excitement to see the movie as Sebastian was, again Sebastian could only marvel that he hadn't always known that would be the case. Kurt always understood. Sebastian's face was full of serene happiness as he settled back into his seat and buckled himself in. In his head he replayed his favorite scene over again, the moment in the cottage when Gatsby and Daisy first saw each other again after all those years. Seb knew he wasn't a romantic, but watching a scene like that made him feel almost as though he could be. He cast a glance at Kurt as the other man got into the driver's seat and tilted his head a little to one side, quickly becoming lost in thought.
--
When The Great Gatsby had finally been released into theaters after months of waiting and much anticipation Kurt couldn’t think of anyone else he’d rather go see it with than his best friend, Sebastian. He’d been a little skeptical at first, not one hundred percent certain that Sebastian would even be interested in watching the famous tale of J. Gatsby unfurl on the big screen but that little tidbit of skepticism didn’t linger long when Kurt took into consideration the things that Seb had admitted to being a fan of. Some of which being Les Miserables and the Hunger Games. Sebastian had actually gone to see Les Miserables with him while they were in Seattle during Christmas and New Years and while they had some differing opinions on the making and the casting choices that sparked debate, Kurt had had a great time. Plus, The Great Gatsby was just such a beautifully, painfully romantic story that touched Kurt and gave him chills deep to his core whenever he thought of the green light across the water and what it meant to Gatsby. He just couldn’t go and see that alone because he figured him crying alone in a theater would be an entirely new low and Sebastian had already seen him cry during Les Mis so it only made sense in the end. As he walked out of the theater, dabbing at the corner of his eye with a napkin he’d taken the liberty of grabbing on his way out, Kurt rambled on about the breathtaking imagery of the film, reveling in the sheer artistic skill behind it. He wasn’t entirely sure how much Sebastian was actually catching onto as Kurt knew he had the tendency to talk rather quickly while excited and emotional but just now he didn’t care. He decided right then and there that he would just have to go see it again.
Kurt unlocked the door to his Navigator and slid into the driver’s seat and buckled his own seat-belt before pressing his key into the ignition. He was about to launch into another tangent about how brilliant the scene when Gatsby was near panicking about Daisy’s impending visit and how adorable it was when he caught sight of Sebastian’s intrigued gaze on his face and he paused mid-sentence as he was caught off guard. With his own tilt of his head, he settled back in his seat. “What? Am I talking too much again? Do I have something on my face?” He inquired, his lip upturned into a small smile.
--
Within seconds, Sebastian's mind took him on a whirlwind journey into the future, blending his life with that of Gatsby. Wasn't Kurt, once you by-passed the overly coarse gender issue, essentially his Daisy? Wasn't Kurt just as close and yet just as entirely unattainable? And what would happen if they didn't see each other for five years? While his more sensible side held onto the vain hope that he would manage to forget about and move on from Kurt during all that time, the greater part of Sebastian knew that moving on was impossible. Five years from now he'd be just as hung up on Kurt as he was now, and still just as unable to do anything about it as Gatsby. Although admittedly somewhat depressing, the notion also had a kind of tragic romance to it that Sebastian appreciated, at least for the moment while the after-effects of the movie were still strong in his psyche. But even as his mind keened to the idea of being the tragically thwarted protagonist on the big screen, it couldn't quite distract him completely from the painful ache inside his chest.
Sebastian blinked, realizing he'd been caught staring like an idiot. His startled expression settled after a few moments back into the relaxed smile it had held before, and he shook his head. "No, it's fine. I'm used to your inane blather by now," he remarked lightly, a subtle hint of fondness in his voice. "So I take it you liked the movie? And you can't possibly feel complete inside until you see it at least eighteen more times?
--
Kurt attempted to gauge the emotions flickering across Sebastian face as he gazed at him but he couldn’t quite decipher them. He caught a glimpse of the familiar look of resigned sadness that he’d seen back after they’d kiss on that afternoon in his studio but behind that was something else that Kurt couldn’t quite put his finger on. His eyes appeared to be distant, like he wasn’t there with him, like his mind was floating off on some thought tangent. Kurt’s brows scrunched together slightly in the middle, his smile fading as he tried to figure out what was going on in that mind of his. The expression resembled the one Sebastian had been wearing earlier during the movie when Kurt had subtlety glanced over next to him. He shook his head imperceptibly and disregarded the thought. It was probably just the movie that kept Kurt’s mind in a haze of deeper meanings and metaphors and he plastered another grin on his lips. Kurt had to learn to not make more out of things than they actually were. It was just a movie and this was just Sebastian and this was absolutely not a date. Absolutely not. Kurt raised his brows in shock. “Liked it? No, that’s like saying I like Judy Garland or that you like sex.” Kurt responded in mock seriousness. “That was the the best movie I’ve seen since we went to go see Les Mis. If Leo doesn’t at the very least get nominated for an academy award for his role of Gatsby, I will lose all faith in humanity!” Kurt smiled a more genuine grin when Sebastian once again read his mind. “And yes I will probably go pay to see it at least ten more times. Until I have pretty much every detail memorized. Plus, I was starting to get a little tired towards the end and almost fell asleep. I’m sure I probably missed a lot.” Kurt added as he leaned forward and turned the key a in the ignition the engine rumbling to life. “Should I uh..take you back to your dorm? Or do you want to come back to mine for a little bit?” Kurt asked tentatively, his mind immediately regretting his invitation. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Sebastian to come over; quite the contrary actually but that was exactly the problem. Kurt shouldn’t want Sebastian to come over, and he shouldn’t be treating this like it was a date. They already crossed that line before and look how well that had ended.
--
Predictably, one of Sebastian's eyebrows rose in a lofty arch and his mouth opened to snark something in return - Judy Garland indeed - but he fell silent then at the allusion to his sex life. He grinned, amusement and a sneaky hint of affection flashing in his green eyes. "I'm surprised you still have any faith in humanity left," he replied seriously. "I lost all mine after planking became a fad." His eyes rolled and Sebastian shook his head at the rest. "It was a good movie, Kurt, but it wasn't worth sitting through ten more times. And I watched you, you didn't actually fall asleep. I doubt you missed anything." Kurt's next words caught him just as he was reaching toward the radio and Sebastian hesitated, outstretched hand moving back to sit on his knee. He was suddenly afraid to look at Kurt - well, not AFRAID, but just.. just wary of looking at him, since there were so many things he was worried he'd see in his friend's eyes. Or maybe it was really the worry that those things wouldn't be there. Longing.. desire.. everything that went beyond the boundaries of their friendship - boundaries they'd had to keep redefining practically every day. The prospect of going over to Kurt's for a while shouldn't be something Sebastian wanted so desperately. Again his mind flashed back to the movie. It was like wishing you could have someone else's spouse. It wasn't his, and he had no business wanting it.
Pain shot across his face for just a moment as these realizations hit him, and suddenly being the tragic imamorato wasn't so appealing anymore. "Just back to the dorm," Sebastian answered quietly, swallowing as he reached again to turn on the radio not because he had any lingering desire to listen to music but just to give his mind something to focus on.
--
With a simple shrug of his shoulders, Kurt’s eyes glanced back over to Sebastian’s, his eyes shining with a light playfulness. “What can I say? I’m not nearly as much of a cynic as you are. I like to pretend the world still has a chance after the snuggie was introduced.” He answered cheekily, pretending to shudder in horror at the reference and held back a chuckle to add to the affect. But looking into Sebastian’s eyes and seeing that hint of affection and sincerity behind his teasing quickly made his breath catch in his throat, the chuckle dying in the process. Sebastian hid it well with his veneer of sophistication and sarcasm but every now and then he slipped and Kurt saw it none the less and he understood it. Like when he mentioned that he had been watching Kurt during the movie or when Kurt caught him looking at him with that underlying sadness in his eyes that never failed to break a piece of Kurt’s heart every time. Kurt tries not to, he really does, but he can’t help but blame himself for those glimpses of resignation and worthlessness in his expressions. He kept crossing that boundary line drawn in pencil between, kept erasing it away with his invitations and his words and it only made his friend upset and often times uncomfortable. He knew Sebastian felt something, knew it wasn’t just him feeling it but there wasn’t anything that they could do about it. Everything told him that they wouldn’t - couldn’t - work, no matter how much Kurt didn’t want to listen or believe it. A sigh escaped from parted lips as the pain flickered stark and cold over Sebastian’s face and Kurt decided right then, once and for all, that he has the saddest eyes of anyone he knows. His green eyes were so sharp and hot and they cut right through him. Kurt didn’t bother making another comment as the radio ceased any chance of more strained conversation as he began driving back to Sebastian’s dorm. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and doubts and confusion over their relationship and by the time Kurt had made it to the front of Sebastian’s building, he was almost relieved that he wouldn’t be in close proximity to Sebastian anymore, because when he was it was hard to think straight and Kurt really needed to get his mind back together.
“Thank you for coming out with me tonight. I had a good time, even if all we did was sit through a movie.” Kurt said, attempting nonchalance as he angled his body so he was facing Sebastian, the car and the radio still on as the song started to come to a close.
--
It wasn't fair for something that wasn't even his -something that he'd never even have - to hurt this much. It just wasn't fair. As the very last vestiges of the movie's rush faded, Sebastian felt like he was slipping away too. The warmth and soft music and closeness of Kurt in the car seemed like they were suddenly far in the distance, and before him stretched the dark and the silence and the aloneness of the rest of the world. Sebastian gazed at his own miserable reflection in the passenger-side window and wished that he never had to get out. He didn't want to be alone out there, or to put any barriers between himself and the only person who always understood. His throat tightened painfully and Sebastian felt a ripple of humiliation and ducked his face to the side to hide any trace of it. When he was finally composed, he turned toward Kurt as the latter did the same and a small smile emerged although it only lasted for a few seconds.
"I did too," he said quietly. "Thanks for asking me to go with you. It was.." Sebastian's voice hitched very slightly as his eyes locked with Kurt's, and the soft strains of a familiar song began to drift from the speakers in the dashboard. She's like cold coffee in the morning.. Seb felt himself swallow around the uncomfortable tightness in his own throat as he gazed, bewildered, into the bright blue eyes he always saw in his sleep. She'll make me shiver without warning.. It wasn't fair. It was so unfair that he had to feel this much and not be able to do one god damn thing about it. Because he wasn't good enough and he knew it. He'd never be good enough to deserve Kurt. Sebastian felt the dark, miserable, empty world on the other side of his door, pulling him away with relentless, steady force, and knew that he would give in to it in a matter of seconds.
--
Ed Sheeran’s voice crooned out from the speakers hidden all along the car and Kurt’s heart skipped a beat before speeding into a frantic thumping in his chest, his own breath getting caught in his throat to match Sebastian. Their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity as the first lyrics drifted through the small space of Kurt’s car, eerily beautiful. You could stay with me forever.. Kurt couldn’t remember how many times he had heard this song in passing on the radio or on shuffle on his phone but it wasn’t until this moment with Sebastian staring at him with so much sincere earnest and desire that the music seeped through his very skin. In that moment, Kurt could do nothing but reciprocate his feelings as he ached to let go of the last of his fears about the future and whether this was right or wrong, and give in to the overwhelming rush of this fragile new thing that he suddenly wanted, so, so very badly.
Tell me if you need a loving hand.. Kurt’s piercing blue eyes searched Sebastian’s own relentlessly and he knows what thoughts are weighing heavily on Sebastian’s mind; he just knows and the urge to reach out and pull Sebastian back to him, back to a place that was achingly familiar and bright and desired and away from the swallowing darkness of self doubt, even if it meant crossing that boundary again. Because if there was one constant in Kurt’s life, it was Sebastian. He knew how much Sebastian meant to him, how much Sebastian has always meant and will always mean to him. He was the tattoo on Kurt’s soul, the green light across the water, the certainty that there will be a tomorrow. Kurt needed to convey that to his friend, whose eyes were old and overwrought with a sadness and so, as if on autopilot, Kurt pushed the seat-belt out of his way and reached over to take Sebastian’s hand firm and resolute in his own and leaned closer to him, never breaking eye contact. “Don’t run away from me.” Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to..
--
It felt almost as though they were seeing each other for the last time. The idea was totally ridiculous; this wasn’t some big good-bye, they’d probably even see each other the next day; but there was some kind of weighty energy in the air between them now and Sebastian couldn’t remember ever feeling more terrified of anything in his life. The words of the song echoed inside Sebastian’s head, apparently taunting him. You can stay with me forever.. or you can stay with me for now.. Fuck you, Ed Sheeran, Seb thought to himself as he gazed helplessly back at Kurt. It wasn’t that fucking simple. Kurt deserved better than a “just for now,” and in his heart Sebastian knew that was all he was ever going to be capable of giving. He wished so hard that he could get Kurt to understand that, but in his bright-eyed, ever optimistic view of the world of course Kurt refused to see the harsh realities that were right in front of his face. .. I love the way you wake me up..
Sebastian quailed as Kurt shifted toward him and took his hand, and a bright hot fear had him leaning away, beginning to reach back with his free hand for the door. Escape was only inches away. His face was full of pain as he reluctantly met Kurt’s eye, and any more it was as though Sebastian’s normal ability to hide his feelings did not apply when he was with Kurt. As it so often was when they were together, again all of Sebastian’s internal dialogue was there in his face, presented to Kurt like a book that he only had to turn the pages of to know everything that was inside Seb’s mind. I don’t want to hurt you, Seb’s face said now. Please.. Please, don’t make me do it.
The song played on pitilessly. For goodness sake will my love not be enough? But as strong as his fear was, an equally strong force held him in place, and kept him gazing back into Kurt’s eyes. As the distance between them closed, Sebastian reached blindly into his reserve of defenses and pulled out the first thing he could find. The oldest defense of all. “Kurt..” His voice emerged in a whisper, only faintly tinged with the cool detachment with which these words were meant to be spoken. “I don’t like you..” The lie stung, but Seb begged with his eyes for Kurt to just pretend, for both their sakes, that he believed it.
--
Tell me if I’m wrong.. Tell me if I’m right.. The lyrics continued to weave through the air around the two men, settling around them with a heavy kind of meaning. Kurt had absolutely no idea what he was doing. What they were doing. They spent the last six or so months tip-toeing around each other one minute and the next kissing and holding hands and falling asleep together on an empty beach and Kurt had no inkling of what they were getting themselves into. He had tried to control the feelings he had and the feelings that he knew Sebastian held because if there was one thing that Kurt coveted, it was control. He had always felt the need to control everything around him, which was apparent in every thing he did including his outwardly appearance. But when Kurt had realized that he couldn’t control people and the way they felt about him or how he felt about others, when he realized that he couldn’t make people stay – he found what he could control was the distance. He may not have been able to control the way his mother had been taken by Death’s hands so prematurely, but he could control how much he distanced himself from his friends and family. And Kurt couldn’t control it whenever Sebastian decided to close Kurt off from him whenever he saw more than Sebastian was willing to reveal but he could control how far away he ran after.
Kurt thought about the weeks after he and Sebastian returned from L.A., about the way him and Seb had distanced themselves away from each other to protect themselves from getting hurt adding more confusion to an already clouded situation. Kurt thought about the entire reasoning behind why Sebastian couldn’t and wouldn’t admit his feelings for Kurt and how it was really just a way to distance and buffer and avoid getting hurt instead of risking what could possibly be a beautiful thing. And suddenly Kurt understood. Tell me if I know.. Tell me if I do.. It stunned Kurt a little to realize that Kurt is important enough to Sebastian for him to want to control him, to control them. Kurt refused to believe that it’s purely because of him but he’s still relieved to know that he’s not alone in this strange, alien thing they have between them.
Sebastian likes Kurt just as much as Kurt likes him and as Kurt stared into those eyes that never ceased to haunt Kurt in his sleep, he could see just how much that scared him. Kurt could see just how scared he was that he was going to hurt Kurt and how desperate he was to make Kurt see what Sebastian saw when he looked in the mirror every day. Someone who’s undeserving Kurt understood everything that Sebastian was feeling, but Kurt also came to the realization that pushing people away or trying to control feelings by shutting people out doesn’t stop you from feeling or hurting. Instead it just makes you feel alone. But Kurt could tell that Sebastian wasn’t quite there, yet. Wasn’t ready to take that step and Kurt finally understood why. He understood that Sebastian was still in a place where controlling the emotional distance between them was something he needed right then so Kurt relents. Just because Kurt was ready to stop running away doesn’t mean Sebastian was. Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to.. Just like in the song, Sebastian doesn’t know what to do or what’s best and so Kurt simply decided to show that he understood that. Whether or not Sebastian decided that he was ready, Kurt still felt better because he realized he has just as much control over himself choosing not to run as he did when he chose to hide. Feeling bolder with his new revelation, Kurt moved his unoccupied hand to the side of Sebastian’s neck and pulled his face in close, whispering back in a resolute murmur, “I don’t like you, either…” before closing that final gap and pressing their lips together in a hard affirmation of the meaning behind his words. He’s ready, he though, for some things to be out of his control.
--
All of Sebastian's muscles were coiled up tight, prepared for the moment when the order would come to bolt out the door. His heart drummed inside his chest, practically drowning out the low, sensuous croon of Sheeran's voice. But something held him there, and kept him staring into Kurt's face with a sudden flare of curiosity that for the moment overwhelmed his fear. Something was going through Kurt's mind, but Seb wasn't sure he knew what it was. He knew it wasn't the patient, slightly reluctant resignation Kurt usually showed whenever Seb's defenses made an appearance. So what was it? Kurt looked almost.. confident. And that didn't make any sense at all. Sebastian was stuck there looking at him, trying to understand what the shine in his eyes meant, and didn't notice immediately when Kurt leaned even closer toward him. He shivered a little at the warmth of Kurt's hand on his neck, and confusion managed to hold him in place for the space of another few seconds as he watched Kurt's mouth move closer and closer.
Then Kurt spoke and a tiny pinprick of light ignited in Seb's chest. It expanded rapidly and the heat of it radiated out, warming him and filling him with a relief so strong it made him light-headed. Kurt understood. His words, spoken so softly but with such quiet conviction, made it clear like nothing else could have. It was like they'd finally uncovered the secret to speaking the same language. Sebastian drew in a soft gasp but his body was faster to react than his brain. He was there to meet Kurt in the kiss, his own mouth warm and not in the least passive. Within seconds the rest of Sebastian caught up with his body's instincts and he leaned more into the kiss, raising a hand to cup the side of his friend's face. Kurt understood. He knew what Sebastian could do and what he couldn't, and making that plain to him was just the last piece of the puzzle. Kurt was acknowledging that it was alright. In that moment, Sebastian felt like he'd just been absolved of his sins, or at least of the sin of not being able to acknowledge the feelings that had been building up inside him for the past six months. But maybe he didn't need to be ashamed of that inability.. because Kurt understood, and somehow that made it okay. Kurt knew he wasn't going to use him. Kurt knew he could walk away any time. And just then, just for now.. maybe that was good enough. Sebastian's eyes closed as he lost himself in the kiss that was quickly surpassing the tentative one they'd shared in Kurt's studio weeks before. Heat was coursing through Seb's bloodstream now in a way it certain hadn't then, and in just a few seconds his other hand had released its hold on the car door and moved to Kurt's elbow, then quickly to his waist. The floodgates were open at last and with that final show of understanding, there was nothing standing between them anymore.
--
Kurt inhaled sharply at the returning pressure of Sebastian’s lips against him, his mouth dropping open just a little in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting Sebastian to respond so quickly and eagerly, had expected Sebastian to pause, to push away. His mouth was warm an soft against his own, despite the more passionate edge the kiss was starting to turn into. Most of all what Kurt noticed was that Sebastian tasted familiar, and the realization that he was beginning to not only recognize Sebastian’s taste but also - if the more frantic note their kissing took was any indication - was beginning to see it out made Kurt’s head spin nearly as much as the kiss itself. While their first kiss had been soft and tentative and had created a memory that surpassed all of Kurt’s first kisses, this one held a quality that the other lacked. They weren’t holding back anymore, they weren’t letting the fear of not knowing or of misunderstandings stand in the way of showing each other just how much they meant to one another. And along with that, just how much they needed each other, even if they couldn’t use words to admit it. So they let their lips, their beating hearts, their caresses say what they didn’t, what they couldn’t. Kurt found himself loving the way Sebastian had shivered at his simple touch, and suddenly Kurt wanted to skate those fingers over more skin, wanted to see if he can pull those fine tremors out of Sebastian on his stomach, his thighs, his lips and it’s more than just the sexual aspect of it because it’s also about the connection and knowing that his touch can elicit that response from Sebastian further proving that this crazy and insane feeling that Kurt feels overwhelming him isn’t just one sided. He slides his hand from Sebastian’s neck and down to rest over his heart, feeling the way it thrummed in his chest before his fingers curved very slightly into the his friends shirt, his other hand placing itself in Sebastian’s hair, dragging him as close as the car could offer. Once again, the adrenaline coursing through his chest made Kurt more daring and he pressed further up into the kiss, chasing for more and everything was a different kind of ache, lower and hotter than the one near his heart. Deep down, nerves threatened to come to the surface, telling him that this was a mistake, that this was wrong but Kurt was tired of people telling him what was wrong and what wasn’t, especially when everything in this moment just felt so /right/ and so achingly /good/. His breath caught at the warmth of Sebastian’s hands on his cheek and neck and he could feel the flare of a blush reddening his face but he couldn’t find it in himself to care, not with Sebastian wrapped around him.
--
Wonderful.. Perfect.. So, so right.. Sebastian was amazed at how quiet his inner voice had become from the moment their lips had touched. His mind wasn't putting up any kind of fight any more, and that in itself was incredible. All desire to open the door and escape into the dark had vanished from him, replaced by the compelling need to stay here, right by Kurt's side, touching his skin, feeling his warmth, tasting his mouth. Maybe Sebastian would just stay here for the rest of his life. Nothing could ever be better than this, so what would be the point of moving?
The fingers that had moved to Kurt's waist trailed reverently over his clothed skin, eventually finding their way beneath the edge of his shirt in a manner that was tender rather than simply erotic. Kurt's skin was impossibly smooth and warm, and Sebastian let out a soft sigh of appreciation that was muffled by the other man's mouth. His other hand shifted slowly from cupping Kurt's cheek to cradling the back of his neck, providing support as he tilted his own head and deepened the kiss. How- HOW had they waited this long to do this?! It was so obviously the most right thing in the entire world! Emboldened by the relief of having the weight of his own self-doubt lifted from him, Sebastian kissed Kurt more insistently now, relishing the taste and feel of him as though he were trying to make up for all that lost time. Eventually the tip of his tongue slid softly against Kurt's lower lip, tentatively seeking entrance.
--
Kurt didn’t want this to ever stop, didn’t want this moment of closeness and pure bliss to end as they moved together with breathy sighs and soft, sweet touches. Kurt didn’t even pay any mind to the cramped space of the car as they both continued to try and get closer, closer, closer because Kurt was only concerned with the way each press of lips felt electrifying and new in both a physical and an emotional sense. Every moment felt intense and heated, little sparks flying through his bloodstream in a heady contrast to the more slow burning heat that sent out tendrils of need through his skin that prompted him to grip Sebastian’s hair as if it would stop him from floating away, keeping him grounded to the moment. And when Sebastian shifted once more, so that he could fit his hand behind Kurt’s neck, tilting them both just a little so their mouths slotted together at a different angle, Kurt thought that that was certainly a benefit of kissing someone who just knew things – things about how bodies fit together. Kurt could feel the hand that was roaming his side and he felt his breath hitch when his fingers found their way underneath his shirt; these kind of touches were touches that they had never done before and he was shocked at how it seemed to magnify every other sensation he was feeling in that moment.
“Bastian..” Kurt breathed out when he felt the warmth of Sebastian’s tongue against his lips, his mouth immediately opened on instinct to the answering wet warmth of Sebastian’s tongue as it nearly dragged the little breath he had left out of him. Sebastian’s mouth was tainted with the slightly salty taste of the popcorn they’d shared earlier, but underneath was all the warmth that Kurt felt down to his toes. He wanted to get to that warmth, wanted to kiss and lick away all the artificial flavors until all that was left was the boy underneath.
--
"Kurt.." Sebastian found himself answering willingly - maybe even a little too willingly, which surprised him even further. Apparently the boy across from him had not only found the chink in Sebastian's armor, but he was somehow managing to prize it open without causing either pain or fear. For once, the doors didn't feel like they might close at any moment. Instead, they were wide open.. so wide, in fact, that Sebastian had to wonder whether he'd be able to get them truly closed ever again. He could try.. And maybe he could get them to close, but he knew they would never be locked after this. Because Kurt had the key now.
They fit together so perfectly it was astounding. Every facet of Kurt's body seemed to have been made to slide beneath Sebastian's fingers. He could actually feel Kurt's skin warming under his touch, and greedily he shifted closer, stretching far over the console between their seats, aching to be nearer to the warmth he hadn't realized until right now that he needed more than oxygen. Hungrily he let his fingers explore further along Kurt's side, moving deftly along the curve of his hip and up and over the dimple between every rib. As he felt Kurt's mouth opening Sebastian let out a small, helpless sound as he embarked on a whole new realm of exploration. Kurt's mouth was warm and still somehow sweet in spite of the saltiness of the popcorn. Sebastian wandered, taking his time, tasting every inch. By the time he pulled back to breathe he was light-headed and his eyes blazed with the fire of total revelation. "I.." He stared at Kurt exactly like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Lips lifting in a small smile, Sebastian clasped Kurt's face gently between his hands and pressed their mouths together once more, softly. "I don't want to go," he breathed, letting his forehead rest against Kurt's for a moment. ".. I want to stay with you."
--
’Kurt’. Even the way Sebastian said his /name/ took Kurt’s breath away. He didn’t think he could ever love his name more than when the single syllable was falling from the lips of this boy, his best friend. Whether it was whispered against his lips in passion or spoken with the oh so familiar undertone of smugness and superiority, the way it was said with such affection and reverence, like Kurt was the most important thing to him, was beautiful. And if Kurt wasn’t already too far gone for this boy then he would be then because nothing felt better than having Sebastian, and himself showing Sebastian in return, just how much they needed each other. They were saying ’I need you’ and ’It’s okay’ more eloquently with bodies than either of them had been able to manage with words but then their touches and kisses seemed to temper that desire with the emotional connection that they had both tried and tried again to shy away from for so long. Because in the end, that’s what had always been the thing that kept them together. What made them different. What made them them.
There was no thought after that except on how to get even closer to Sebastian, on how to make their kisses even deeper and how to maneuver around the console between them so he could press their bodies together. The warmth of Sebastian’s hand and the trail of tingling sparks that his fingers were leaving behind on his bare skin made Kurt remember the way it had felt to be able to feel Sebastian’s racing heartbeat against his chest as they stood in his studio during their first kiss. Each brush of Sebastian’s hand against his sensitive skin, sending heat all throughout his limbs, made Kurt crave that feeling again and the small whimper that escaped his lips as Sebastian’s tongue swept into the wet heat of his mouth, teasing against Kurt’s own could not be held back. Kurt sucked on his lower lip, scraping gentle teeth across the swollen flesh before stroking his tongue along Sebastian’s own, kissing back more urgently until they were both panting against each other’s lips so as not to have to break away even for air. Eventually they have to part, though they don’t move far from each other when they do, and when Kurt finally caught a glimpse of the expression on Sebastian’s face, he nearly felt the urge to cry though he couldn’t say why. As his head cleared Kurt knew he was beginning to blush, both from the heat of their recent activities and from his own overwhelmed feelings about said activities. “I don’t want you to go, either. Ever.”
--
Everything about this was perfect, and Sebastian had managed, for once in his life, to say exactly what he felt. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to ever have to leave this moment. When Kurt spoke, Sebastian gave a smile that was all relief and gratitude, and for once he didn't pull back. He didn't try to reel the conversation back from the dangerous, intimate cliff it was playing on. In the absence of that cold fear from before, he felt a remarkable ability to simply let things happen as they would. He took a while to respond, preferring instead to trace small, shapeless patterns with his fingertips along the side of Kurt's face and down his neck, at times barely touching the skin but still memorizing the warmth and feel of it. He tilted his head, his eyes falling closed, and ran the tip of his nose along the side of Kurt's for no other reason than to enjoy how close they were.
Finally though, Sebastian did sit back a little and with a grin that was only barely restrained from covering his entire face he reached over his shoulder and pulled the seatbelt back around. Still meeting Kurt's eyes, Sebastian pushed the buckle back into the holster with a soft 'click'. "Well. In that case.. I suppose you'd better turn around." Though his voice held a faint trace of its usual dry humor, his face still possessed that same blazing, luminescent look.
During the drive back to Kurt's, Sebastian gazed at the boy in the driver's seat as if he was the most beautiful thing Sebastian had ever seen. And although by the time they arrived outside the familiar building Sebastian had managed to get his face somewhat composed, still that look wasn't completely gone. It was there, right under the surface, beneath a layer or two of self-restraint and careful control. In time his defenses would probably repair themselves and the walls would go up again, just as seemingly impenetrable as they ever were. But there would be a way inside now: a little door, invisible to the average person, that would always be open for Kurt.
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they-cant-touch-me replied to your post: Do you know what sounds..
I guess I’ll have to take my extra ticket elsewhere seeing as your frivolous insults clearly show me that you’re not interested.
Wait. You're honestly talking about the movie..? Really? I didn't think anybody around here other than me wanted to see that.
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don't you have a thing going on with hunter??
OOC: We actually moved our Huntbastian to a 1x1. Seb is here and Hunter is here. WMKU!Seb doesn’t have anything going on with Hunter anymore.
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Do you know what sounds better than going to a strip club? Going to go see Gatsby with me.
Gatsby? I know you're not referring to the movie, because even you aren't that cool, so I'm going to assume you're talking about the person who sells you your hair products. In which case, no thank you. I'd prefer not to get within 100 yards of that misguided individual.
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My very last final is in an hour and then I'll have nothing to do for the rest of the day. I want to celebrate.. but I can't think of what to do.
I wonder how early strip clubs open.
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Right.. Because I'm not very nice. Or friendly. Or anything else that people tend to like, I suppose..
Everyone judges everyone, whether they like it or not. It's human nature. I'm just more open about it than most people.
Yep.
I was just kidding… I would be upset if you died. Yes, take care of your body. So few? Why?
So you’re like, judging me? We’ll probably pick a movie that everyone likes.
Uh-huh.
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.. wow.. alright. Well, thanks for the insincerity. I'll do my best not to die though. Shockingly enough, I believe there may be one or two people around here who would miss me.
I have good reason to be picky. I don't really know much about you, but you can learn a lot about a person from the kind of movies they like to watch.
Nope. I like being lonely, thanks. And yes, Sherman.
Call me a pessimist then. It would be terrible is you died at such an early age, Sebastian. If you’re not around, then who would tell me that I look like a 15 year old?
You seem to be picky. We’re not sure yet, we still have some details so go over. We’re just confirming at the moment.
Jealous? Sherman, really?
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Yes, well.. I suppose "cleanse the system" can also be interpreted as "severe liver damage," but only if you're a pessimist.
Oh. I might be interested, but it all depends. What movie will you be watching?
Well... that's lovely. Sounds like you're slated to have a lot of fun there, Sherman.
That would mean that you were drinking for more than 7 hours… That’s still not good.
Oh, sorry. There is a movie night that Dylan and I are planning. We’re trying to invite as many people as we can. Do you want to come?
I also have a dinner with Lizzie, and some other people tonight. And I think Quinn might invite me to some music festival.
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I started drinking the night before, so technically... it was more like I was just continuing very, very, very late into the night. Kind of. Anyway.
A bunch of stuff with some people.. Hm. Sounds.. vague.
I won't be doing much. Sleeping a lot, mostly likely. Maybe seeing a movie. Maybe restocking my wardrobe in preparation for my internship. You?
Good then. Maybe, but so early in the morning? I’m good. Planning a bunch of stuff with some people. What will you be doing this weekend?
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not speaking to you anymore nope
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