sebha45

[sebha45]

Depression is not always dark and clamorous like you think, it can be colored and calm like the sea while everything drowns and rots deeper within. This is depression without any signs of anxiety, this is breathing after death. 

There have been many happy moments in my life too, but the problem is they won’t stay constant. A moment feels blessed, and in the very next moment it all collapses into something I don’t even understand. It makes me tired. I know that’s how life will be; good and bad together but, I’m really tired of walking these circles that never end.

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/274956399-weeping-willows

AFF: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1484979

[sebha45]

The MV is lit. While watching it, all I did was thumping my chest and trying to breathe so I don’t die.

[sebha45]

I'm sobbing. I can't.! send help please. This pain, My heart feels heavy. I never ever ever everrrrrr in my life felt pain in the heart out of happiness, Sure it did pain in the gut when laughing out long but never in the heart and this pain is so sweet and yet hard to handle.

I'm so happy that they are finally facing their past. No more hiding from the truth the world already knows. I'm happy that their good and root moments are no more an awkward situations,They are comfortable in talking about their past. Damn, I'm so happy. More than happy. F**k there is no word to describe this f**ing feeling......

My babies, I love them. Finally they are with their brothers.

Those APPA vibes Kris is giving off is too much to absorb. And Tao.... They are still treating him like a maknae. They are just the same.

They are no more a part of exo and wanting them comeback will be the most stupidest wish ever, but I'm really happy to see them together, 'cause I don't want them to feel uncomfortable around the people they grew up with, I don't want them to be cautious around their own brothers.

Wish they grow up to be more successful in their own paths and yet be there for each other without thinking of what the world says. They are Brothers for life and hope no awkwardness stops them from showing the love they have in their hearts.

[sebha45]

Them: it's just a performance, it won't hurt. 

The performance:

I'm crying my eyes out watching them on the same stage. It's been six years, *SIX YEARS*, and most importantly my first time watching them perform together after I entered this fandom. Might just cry the whole night, 'cause that's my broken family mending right there.

[sebha45]

Is anyone breathing? 'cause I'm not. [I'm too weak for this guy and that thin gold lace around his neck is draining my life out my eyes.]

[sebha45]

A STAR AND A FLOWER

Here on the Earth so heaven-like, there’s a flower; pretty like every other in that green land.

It lived its troubles till it drained to the last drop of blood and got ready to give up on everything that's ahead.

Tired, it looked up for one last time in the moonless night, and the sky still shined with the stars that stayed.

A smile crept up when it saw a particular star that shined like no other, And there it started- the story of A Star And A Flower.

The endless sky held countless stars that never failed to put up the smile and light up the hope inside.

In that boundless blue some shine brighter while some hide hard yet they are all the same stars that burn down to the last atoms trying to twinkle hard.

If the sadness of life is what we draw as night, then different nights have different stars we hold on to. Isn’t it true?

And that night it was that one white sparkle the flower held on and continued holding on for quite some time.

The silver little light that saved its life, why don't the flower wish to hold that sparkle for forever and for itself?

‘In my embrace, you'll be safe. I can be everything you need.’ a futile attempt the flower made forgetting the boundaries of the Blue and Green.

Attempts after attempts only brought exhaustion that by and by turned into anger,

And that selfish anger pushed the flower to curse the one it loved and even the little other stars that her star smiled at.

How long can anger survive, and so it broke down into tears weeping until The White Emperor of the dark spoke pitying her.

‘My little flower, why weep in this lonely hour?’ The Moon said.

‘The star I loved never loved me back, too far it was and too far it still is.’ Little flower cried.

‘Excuse my harsh words dear, but does that star know you?’

‘Sorry to sound rude but, you think you can hold that raging flame without burning down to ashes.’ silence was the only answer.

‘In your darkest night when I; The Moon wasn't with you, you admired his little shine didn't you?’ The gentle flower nodded,

‘All the while Waxing to my fullest, I've been watching your love grow just like me; bright and beautiful. But when did your selfless love flip to be a selfish kind, dear little flower?

When did your tender heart grow thorns that want to see the star you love bleed?

The star stayed the same, I stand evident. Ask yourself and answer, did your love remain unaltered?’

Oh, what can it answer! Gulping down the hard truths the old promises flashed in front,

Golden words it said every night- “You light up my world. I wish you always receive love and only love. your happiness is my happiness.” They echoed in the silence of the black.

When did it slip From I admire you to I want you?

how did it turn toxic when it actually started off heavenly? when? When? when?

Realizing its stupidity it cried awaking every other flower that night. “When did my love turn to fade away?”

“The night you tried to claim the star.” The ruler of the black sky answered.

“They smile at you to lift your spirits, they shine to inspire you to do your best.

True that they are up in the dark shining for you but remember not because of you.

They shine ‘cause they burn not less than the sun that none of us can ever achieve.”

All the flowers looked to the ground in shame.

“I don't mean to say none of you is worthy of the stars, who knows, one of you might reach them or they might come down to you someday.

All I want to say is that you and your star are two individuals and neither of you holds any superiority over the other, and neither of you owes nothing but love to each other.

Remember, An unrequited admiration is always honorable while an unrequited chase is nothing but a disgrace.

So, look at your star with the eyes of gratitude like you always did, ‘cause that’s what love is, and that’s the only thing that prevails as the wind carries it for eternity.”

-Laxmi Bhargavi Golla

It’s heartbreaking and at the same time annoying to see Idols suffer because of their very own Fans. shoving cameras onto their faces, knocking on their hotel room doors in the midnight, trying to dig into their private life and past, not caring the consequences of the rumors you start, disagreeing\ hating their life choices, melting your time in writing hate words, and ultimately making idols apologize for something they did to protect their own privacy. These things don’t make you a great fan.  

It doesn’t even matter how many exclusive photos you click when your own star isn’t happy with it. Your tracking and hacking capabilities are of no use when hurt is what you are causing through it. Your sold opinions don’t count when the words you type are taking the smile off the face you loved the most. 

Why do we always fail to remember the most basic fact that they are humans too, and they have families that they want to protect and keep out of the disgusting gossip you make up. Put yourself in their shoes, I bet none of us will survive a single day. So, let’s try to admire them in a respectable manner because that’s what they deserve for the childhood or any phase of the life that they sacrificed to be where they are now. Being their fans let’s not dim their shine, don’t you think it’s the least we can do?

[sebha45]

Words fall useless while describing the feeling of being an admirer of someone. It’s an ocean of emotions with countless memories sailing on it and you drown deep down breathing easy miraculously. 

Growing up, thankfully, somewhere along the line I met them- ‘EXO’ the one I call my youth.

The pretty emotions I virtually shared with them are numberless, But today is much more special. Oh how my heartbeat just fell out of it’s rhythm, and how my lips carried the widest smile, and how my eyes got socked in happy tears when I heard the news of the little flower’s arrival… damn, that was so special. Oh my God. 

So, this is how it feels to welcome a precious little blessing into the family, this is how it feels to learn that the family is growing. Oh, my, my, I might start sobbing again… this is such a priceless feeling - The feeling of Family. 

May this little girl get countless blessings and the happiest eyes and the most humble lips just like her Dad. 

[sebha45]

💕 Forever 12 in our hearts 💕

[sebha45]

Dear my Youth, what else can I name you other than Happiness.

[sebha45]

If there's something my heart really aches to experience is- His Love.

Just for once I want the taste of it, the feel of being surrounded by his warmth, the touch of his hands, and his breath on my skin.

Wouldn't it feel like heaven I wonder, or maybe better than that.

[sebha45]

Sometimes we get nudged into the paths we never meant to take. Get used to walking, ‘cause that's life.

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1429401/when-the-key-light-goes-off

[sebha45]

Chanbaek fanfiction - WHEN THE KEY LIGHT GOES OFF

[sebha45]

They are just too perfect for each other.

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I'm out of words. These are the most gorgeous.

[sebha45]

I'm not satisfied with any word that comes to my mind while seeing this captured moment. Too beautiful to be described. Like, I can feel the coldness of the wind gently touching his hands, I can feel that little warmth inside his thick clothing, I can feel the calmness he's feeling, I can feel it as if I'm living the moment where he's looking at me while I'm getting drowned into those heavenly eyes.

[sebha45]

I'm so weak for him.

He makes me uncover the darkest side of my midnight thoughts. He makes go crazy, makes me go numb. Gives me the chills, gives me the tears. He makes me fall for him harder and deeper every single time.

[sebha45]

He's cute, sexy, hot and breathtaking. 😭❤️