seldnei

[seldnei]

in elden ring there are two types of boss; "beautiful" and "wet". if you're a beautiful boss your name is something like melinar the crimson spear or gondwana the gleaming and you're rocking an 80 inch pin-straight middle-parted wig. if you're a wet boss your name is randal reamtaint the revolting or lord giger groundstooth of the death brigade and you're built like a small- to medium-sized airplane in every direction. in both cases you are welsh.

[seldnei]

🫵 STOP! you are doomscrolling. tell me your favorite animal instead

[seldnei]

So sometime last year/early this year, Z decided to take a gap year. He decided he didn’t want to do theatre professionally, so he was at loose ends, needed time to think through his future, etc etc.

Yeah, apparently all he needed was six weeks, and then he decided to attend the college where I work, get his AA, and transfer to a university.

Okay, sure!

Which brings us to tomorrow, which is the first day of classes, my baby is going to college, and I have a front-row seat!

[seldnei]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[seldnei]

Y’all! The Em Dash has finally delivered a public statement regarding the AI allegations.

And it’s glorious!

Read the full article on the McSweeney’s website here!

[seldnei]

byron donalds gave his life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot. now you too can learn what religion you can convert to in a fast food restaurant parking lot by spinning these handy links!

[seldnei]

Buy this book! It’s really, really good!

A queen faces death with a familiar ghosts beside her. A soldier becomes what he has spent his entire life running from. A fisherman's son turns the tables on a false prophet. A storyteller travels to the lands of the dead to fulfill a final promise. A hunter traps strange prey, and finds herself snared in turn. And a sorceress becomes the protector of her family's dead. These six stories blend mythology, fairytale, poetry, and tragedy to explore the ways we live, die, and seek immortality for ourselves and our loved ones in the memories we carry and the tales we tell.

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Download the pdf directly from Ko-Fi

Download the epub directly from Ko-Fi

[seldnei]

It’s been on and off pouring rain all day with occasional heavy wind. At some point, the fuse for the bathrooms and pantry went out, so Scott turned off all the power in the house to replace it. I am reading the anthology of stories set during The Stand.

All of this to say that I am having MASSIVE post-Ian flashbacks, so if you have any dumb memes or pet pictures or bad jokes to share I would LOVE that.

[seldnei]

hello beloveds ☺️

[seldnei]

Brian Haberlin (American, born 1963)

Pygmalion, 2025

Watercolor on paper

21 × 14 in (53.3 × 35.6 cm)

Private collection

[seldnei]

the title of the last song you listened to is the epitaph on your tombstone

[seldnei]

out of curiosity, does everyone have a certain type of character they get attached to or are urs random

[seldnei]

So here's the thing. I had no plans to do a new playlist today. But then Spotify suggested this for me:

[image is of a Spotify playlist titled "girlhood," with a picture of pink bows in a woman's dark curly hair, next to the description "pink bows, spilled secrets, deep feels, and main character dreams"]

And you know I had to do something with that.

So pick a song that I wish had been around during my girlhood! (From a bad description. Naturally.)

Pick a song from a bad description! You do not have to recognize the song to choose it. Go with whatever most speaks to your wounded inner child. What best describes your personal girlhood (regardless of whether or not you were or are or ever have been a girl). What you're choosing as your own sendoff to James C. Dobson. Just pick a song and reblog the post.

At the end of the week, I will make the poll results into a playlist, going from the song that has gotten the fewest votes to the song that has gotten the most votes. If you would like to hear the playlist (and I do recommend the playlist; it's banger after banger on this one), please leave me a comment or say something in your reblog, and I will tag you when it's up.

And regardless of whether or not you choose to vote, or reblog, or whatever, please listen to something weird today. It's good for you. (Also, listen to something that would piss James Dobson off. That is also good for you. Can you tell I got news of his death while I was working on this? And that it's making me very happy?)

[seldnei]

My thoughts as they come:

1. Who told Trump he’s going to hell? The man is surrounded by prosperity-Gospel fundies and AI Calvinists, so who broke through and informed him that Jesus thinks he’s a dick?

2. Holy shit, ghost of Jimmy Carter? Picture Trump with a ouija board in the Lincoln bedroom getting “n o h e a v e n 4 u.”

3. Give it a month, he’ll be mangling the words “effective altruism” and making weird allusions to Rocky and “that big snake from the wizard book, very bad, need to keep it happy.”

4. Oh my god, this is about that South Park episode, isn’t it?

President Trump dialed into “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday morning and revealed his newest and truest motivation for brokering an end to the war in Ukraine: He’s worried he might not get into heaven after he dies. “I want to try and get to heaven, if possible,” he explained. “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.”

??????????

[seldnei]

[seldnei]

About … egad, eight years ago? I ordered a new pair of Docs. I got a pair of those Mary Janes with the divided hole over the strap to replace my traditional Mary Janes that were also Docs. (Those had begun to sort of crack inside and were fucking up my feet. But man I wore those things through pregnancy and parenting a toddler and most of elementary school, so they went with honor.)

Anyway, being on Facebook at the time, I posted a photo of the shoebox for my gothy friends to see, and amongst the YEAH NEW DOCS comments was someone younger than me saying “Oh, I bought Docs a couple years ago and I’m just too old to wear them, some things are just meant for the young!”

And aside from being rude, just … skill issue. Wear the shoes you like and dye your hair whatever color and pierce whatever you want and fuck how old you are. The only thing that should stop you is shit like “those heels would make me break a hip,” and even then, it’s your hip to break, old lady. Do as thou wilt.