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“The Onion” article title sentence meme

❝ Zing! I just got you with another one of my trademark ‘complete lies’. ❞

❝ Is this a picture of the internet? ❞

❝ I always thought losing your sunglasses was something that happened to other people. ❞

❝ When I die my entire fortune will be donated to charity, except the $40 billion I will have buried with me. ❞

❝ One time I punched a goose right out of the air. ❞

❝ I will drink every last drop of water on earth. ❞

❝ I know heaven is real because I saw it and abducted an angel. ❞

❝ Sometimes I feel like things would be better off if I never existed. ❞

❝ Whenever I feel sad, I just go down to the wreck of the titanic. ❞

❝ Please, make yourself at home while I silently count down the seconds until you leave. ❞

❝ I’m always open to feedback that I can get defensive about and ultimately ignore. ❞

❝ When I need strength, I turn to the bible or whatever else is around. ❞

❝ So help me God, I’m going to eat one of those multicolored detergent pods. ❞

❝ I wish I could get through to you with a sports analogy, young man. ❞

❝ God has kind of a loose outline for us all. ❞

❝ After another incredible summer, it’s time to put my shirt back on. ❞

❝ You really don’t know who people are until you make a vicious snap judgment about them. ❞

❝ If another country ever started calling itself America, I’d be so pissed. ❞

❝ I’d like to see the government try and take away my trash. ❞

❝ If you want to date my daughter, you’re going to have to date me first. ❞

❝ The only way to get over your fear of the moon is to walk on it. ❞

❝ A woman as beautiful and intoxicated as yourself shouldn’t be drinking alone, my dear. ❞

❝ Aw, fer crying out loud! ❞

❝ I only like movies where the whole cast dances in a little box next to the end credits. ❞

❝ Looking back on my life, I guess my biggest regret is trying to fight that alligator 5 minutes ago. ❞

❝ You might be wondering why I’m wearing a cap usually reserved for playing baseball. ❞

❝ As a failure, I’ve learned to appreciate the little things in life. ❞

❝ How about we go outside and settle this like emotionally stunted men? ❞

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Reblog if you're an RPer of the 'ONCE UPON A TIME' fandom.

You’ll be added to the MASTERLIST.

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nayarivera A little Christmas glam courtesy of @makeupbyariel

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Former Mothers, Eternal Trouble

Meet Rufina, aka Fiona Garnett: The original Mother of the Lost Boys, Rufina was known for her spirit matching her fiery head of hair as she went toe-to-toe with and against Peter Pan throughout all of her adventures on Neverland.  Despite her guilt at leaving her brother (and all of her Boys), she utilized the aid of Captain Killian Jones to fake her death and finally escape Peter’s control, and return to the Enchanted Forest as a collector of information for the highest bidder...until she got swept up in the Dark Curse and moved to Storybrooke as newspaper assistant Fiona Garnett.  Now with her memories returned, Ru is determined to help turn around her morally ambiguous past by reuniting the town with its family in hopes of finding her happy ending by way back to her brother.

Gender-bent OC, Multi-verse, multi-ship Shadow-ofa-Ru

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Not Magic, but Not Mundane

Disney's Descendants Verse, Fiona: Living in The United States of Auradon can be pretty dull sometimes, especially when you're the daughter of former Lost Boy Rufio.  Fiona, like her father, was a born troublemaker, and between food fights, potion mishaps, and "very inappropriate" test answers, she's been told multiple times in her seventeen years that the fact that her family wasn't sent to the Isle of the Lost had to be based on some sort of technicality.  What those "Goodies" don't seem to understand is being called chaos does not bother Fi in the slightest-- in fact, she thinks the heroes are dull as dishwater, even the ones with magic.  Now that the Villains' kids are transferring over to Auradon Prep though, Fi's finding herself more and more excited about the how the year is developing...

OC, Multi-verse, multi-ship Shadow-ofa-Ru

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shadow-ofa-ru.tumblr.com-- Fiona (FC SophieTurner); Rufio x Unknown Mother

Reblog or Like this if;

You’re a Disney Descendants character roleplay blog (Canon & Original Characters)

You are a Multi Muse blog with a Descendants character

Your character(s) has a Descendants verse

You are Descendants based Group Roleplay

I will be making separate posts for each canon character. All original characters will be listed in one post and I will list the characters parents next to them.   example; url (Melody; Ariel x Prince Eric) Those with Descendants verses will be listed in one post. And all Group Roleplays will be listed in one post with summaries of their plots.

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domestic headcanons meme!

Send a symbol to hear the following about my muse…

☾ Sleeping habits ☼ Favorite time of day ☂ Favorite weather ¿ Term for the TV device, whether it be “clicker”, “remote”, or something else ↪ Internet browsing activities ☹ Response to a leaky faucet or other household problem ♡ What their wedding invitations would look like ☃ What they wear around the house ♆ The worst kind of neighbor they could have, and how they deal with them ♨ Their cooking ability (or lack thereof) ✂ How well they do yardwork (or blow up the lawnmower) ♟ If they like board games, and how good they are at ‘em ✧ How clean their living space is now, and/or would be ideally ♜ Interior decorating aesthetic ♘ Any pets they might have ☗ What you’d find in their cabinets ⚒ What you’d find in their toolshed (if they’d have one) ▀ What they’d hide under the bed ○ What tune their doorbell has, if not a standard ding-dong ☺ What their welcome (or not-so-welcome) mat would say ☻ How late they stay up ♒ If they do their laundry in a timely manner ☆ How they’d throw parties (what would go on at them, refreshments, etc) ✓ What a typical Tuesday night looks like ❥ How they’d invite you home for the night (yes, it could be a pickup line)

Feel free to reblog and add more!

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Send me ‘HC’ + a word and I’ll tell you a headcanon about my muse(s) based on it.

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What do you want to tell me? Put a symbol in my ask box:

hsfancharmemes:

❊ I want to roleplay with you

✸ I want to plot with you

✤ I want to ship with you

✥ I have roleplayed with you and it was great

❦ I sort of secretly ship a thing with your muse(s)

✷ I wish our characters was friends

✢ I like your characters

✱ I don’t like your characters

✣ I like the way you express your muse(s)

✫ I don’t like the way you express your muse(s)

☬ I feel like your characters are underdeveloped

❂ I don’t agree on all your headcanons

✡ I agree on all your headcanons

❋ Your blog is one of my favs

✦ I like seeing you on my dash 

✵ I don’t follow you for roleplay

✧ I wish you would notice me

✩ You intimidate me

✪ You seem like a cool person

✺ You’re hard to approach

✻ I wish you weren’t so shy

❄ I look up to you

❆ I love your art

❇ I love the way you write 

* I want to learn to know you

# I’m too shy to approach to you

☓ We should talk!

♥ *Your choice what to write*

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Reblog if you’re an indie OUAT OC RP account.

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Reblog if you are a non-exclusive Role Player.

Non-exclusive means you are happy to play with duplicates of the same characters.

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send in a ◆ for this ship meme (more questions that should absolutely be answered)

who does the ironing and who just shouldn’t be allowed near the iron?

who wakes up in the middle of the night for a hot cocoa?

who has better handwriting and writes all the birthday notes/notes to the landlord?

who honestly doesn’t care what movie is getting watched, they just want to cuddle?

who forgets to cap the toothpaste?

who burns the food cause they were distracted by kisses?

who makes the other sit down and watch the news with them because there is a need to comment on the current political situation?

who always forgets to buy the milk?

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Send me a ♠ for what my character thinks of yours in three words

Send me a ♤ for what I think of YOU in three words

Send me a ❖ for my character’s personal thoughts about yours

Send me a ♣ for my characters thoughts during any general conversation between your and my character

Send me a ♧ for my character’s reaction if your character were to express romantic interest in my character

Send me a ♙ for what my character originally thought your character’s name was before learning their actual name, and why

Send me a ♖ for a hastily written ‘good-bye’ letter from my character to yours

Send me a ♔ for a word that I think sums up our character’s relationship

Send me a ⊗ for my thoughts OOC on your character

Send me a ▲ if you’ve ever wanted to talk to me, but have been too nervous to do so. (Now’s a good a time as any!)

(credit goes to niquetamereencore)

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If they had a kid meme

send me a pair name and I’ll tell you what I think it would be like if they had a child.

Name: Gender: General Appearance: Personality: Special Talents: Who they like better: Who they take after more: Personal Head canon: Face Claim:

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ship meme #2 █║│♛

Send me a ship and I’ll reply with:

Who would throw the wildest parties?

Who would always fall asleep on the couch?

Who would enter them both in a talent show?

Who would try to get out of doing their chores?

Who would accidentally set the kitchen on fire whilst cooking?

Who would always bring home a new stray pet?

Who would make the other carry their bags on a shopping spree?

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tv show headcanon asks (pt 1)

Arrow: Your muse is deserted on an island alone. Will they survive? Why/why not?

Brooklyn Nine Nine: If your muse was a cop, what would they excel at? Catching bad guys, paperwork, eating all the food, etc.

Eye Candy: What is your muse's favourite internet acronym?

Game Of Thrones: Your muse now lives in Westeros. What house would they be loyal to?

Haven: Your muse wakes up and doesn't remember a thing about themselves. What new name would they give themselves?

Heroes: What superpowers would your muse want to have? Would their choice be different if they were a hero or villain?

How To Get Away With Murder: Your muse wants/has to kill someone. What is their weapon of choice? Why?

Once Upon A Time: If your muse was a Disney character, who would they be and why?

Parks and Recreation: What are your muse's thoughts on the government?

Supernatural: Does your muse believe in supernatural beings? Why/why not?

Teen Wolf: Would your muse rather be a wolf, a fox, a coyote, a jaguar, or a banshee? Why?

The Flash: What is the one thing your muse would change about the past? Why?

The Walking Dead: A zombie apocalypse has broken out. Would your muse survive far or die early?

The 100: Your muse is the last person on Earth, and their time is running out. What do they do to make the last moments of their lives count?