shallowgirlstuff

[shallowgirlstuff]

[shallowgirlstuff]

Dear A,

I don't usually write to you very often, or at least not show it directly, but truly, honestly, I think you deserve all pure and genuine love. Ever since the moment I knew you, I've been delighted to the fullest for being that one girl who could show and demonstrate a love that persists—someone who always wants your well-being and cares for you in their own way. However, I've never been perfect, and I consider a great part of my growth thanks to your words, the difficult times, and how, even when I wasn't at my best, you were right there for me, trying hard. I have to admit you've been trying a lot too, and that's something only you and I could understand very well.

As you know, distance was never easy; it never will be, not even a bit. And when I'm overcome with melancholy, I tend to write a lot, writing until I can no longer feel my tears falling across my face, because it hurts. But that doesn't mean it's a bad thing, or that I dislike being with you, or anything else. I enjoy your presence very much. I love finding you in your music tastes, even the funny ones or those with crazy lyrics, all the inside jokes that only you could understand and laugh with, because in the end, we let ourselves truly know each other. That's a kind of intimacy sex or lust could never replace because it's beyond that.

If you keep wondering why I'm still so emotional and full of vulnerability, I wouldn't know what to respond either. It just happens, and too many times I try so hard to keep calm and work on my feelings and thoughts. It might have been working after all, and I can finally feel less pressure and that heavy feeling that used to approach me more than I could welcome. But yes, I keep repeating to myself that everything is going to be okay and it's all about being and feeling lost because, in fact, we still have uncertainty. And those paths that seemed like nothing suddenly become a disastrous journey because it is full of all first times, the inexperience and inadequate choices or maybe beliefs. But if you notice it, if you fix it and don't allow yourself to repeat the same mistakes, I can be pretty sure that you are growing and letting yourself be a better version of yourself, flowing it out or maybe just one with the right to still kick ass even stronger, and that's what matters. So, I'm sorry firsthand if this gets so personal out of nothing. At the end, I suck a little much at expressing my feelings and this is the least romantic thing you will ever read. But if I could sum it up, I just want to say that I feel gratitude for you, who is building your own path, really getting down to work on your self-growth and not backing down by taking on a lot of responsibility, professional or any other. I wish you with all my soul you get there and celebrate you, my beloved one.

I do truly love you, and I hope you stay with me as long as your heart determines—which I hope is longer—and keep giving me the opportunity to grow with you by my side, A.

Sincerely yours,

M.

[shallowgirlstuff]

[shallowgirlstuff]

Darte la oportunidad de volver a confiar y entregarte aunque no sepas qué te espera, con miedo e incertidumbre pero con pasos firmes. Poner tu corazón al fuego por esa persona.

Eso. Eso es a lo que yo llamo amor.

[shallowgirlstuff]

I've met you. Probably not enough to say a lot, but I've met you and I hope that many times I've genuinely been able to bring light and happiness to your world. Especially peace in a world that's already hard enough.

But that's just how life is, I loved you and I still love you since then, clumsily and in my own way, but even in my attempts I feel like I've failed many times, it's just that I love you. What else can I say besides that? I just know that I love you and I wouldn't ask to change you, I wouldn't ask for anything more than your sincere love and your company, because if you only have eyes for me who cares about the world, if you are my world.

I wouldn't ask for anything more than the stability I need in my life to share it with you in a future that we've always imagined, a future in which we could overcome everything, a future that with every part of my heart I want to happen in this life and not simply in another where you and I... are simply not you and I.

[shallowgirlstuff]

¿No estás cansada de la gente de cartón? ¿De achicar tu esencia para no incomodar? ¿De achicarte en una talla que no es tuya, una, dos, tres, siete talles menos de quien realmente sos? Yo no quiero verte achicarte para gustar. Quiero verte expandirte para ser. ¿Quién necesita pertenecer en un grupo que no sabe la luz que irradias? Quiero verte escribiendo tu historia cómo esa autora que me narraba cuentos todas las noches.

Tu luz se está apagando y nadie lo nota.

Por eso toda esa gente que te rodea no lo vale.

Yo sí lo noto.

Yo lo noto.

Yo te juro que lo noto.

Yo TE noto.

Del fuego que conocí, sólo queda una velita roja, chiquitita, con el fueguito suave, tambaleándose. Te olvidaste de cómo se vive, y estás tratando de encajar en un espacio que jamás llevó tu nombre. Y eso, eso es lo que más duele: Estás luchando por pertenecer a alguien que no te merece. Te estás desdibujando. Tu esencia se está evaporando.

Y vos, justamente vos… Que siempre fuiste de las personas que más amaron, te estás olvidando de amar a la persona más importante: a vos. Esa forma tuya de mirar el mundo, de encontrar magia hasta en el subte roto de la línea B, mientras nos perdemos porque teníamos que tomar el A. Esos chistes pelotudos que me hacían llorar de risa. Esa forma tuya de bailar como si no hubiese nadie mirando. Y te juro que te quiero ayudar. Pero no sé si te das cuenta. No quiero perderte mientras caminas con una sonrisa que no es tuya, en una vida que ya no reconoces como propia.

Volvé.

Aunque sea de a poquito.

Aunque duela.

Aunque tengas que romper la jaula en la que hoy vivís.

Porque te juro…

Valés tanto más de lo que creés.

Y lo único que quiero… es volver a ver tu luz.

Volvé, que te prometo que del otro lado del miedo y las lágrimas, hay una chica que te espera sin querer que cambies, sin minimizarte, queriendo verte volar alto, confiando en vos como nadie jamás nadie confió, ni siquiera yo.

Volvé, te esperamos.

Fer

[shallowgirlstuff]

[shallowgirlstuff]

rippled rabbit reflection (+forlorn frog)

[shallowgirlstuff]

I don't want to get undressed for a new person all over again.

[shallowgirlstuff]

Solo quiero un amigo, un mejor amigo, un compañero, un amor. Y que todos ellos sean el mismo hombre. Alguien que se sienta orgulloso de tenerme, que se alegre cada día de su vida por mi presencia y que crea que no hay nadie como yo en el mundo.

Alguien que no me haga dudar de si un día sí y al día siguiente no, que incluso en los días más difíciles no me aparte y me trate con gentileza siempre.

No quiero alguien a medias, no quiero ser solo una mujer más, un cuerpo más, un beso más, una memoria más. Quiero perdurar. Y quiero perdure. Me enferma tanto lo efímero.

[shallowgirlstuff]

Some time ago, I used to experience intense fear when surrounded by strangers—on the street, at university, everywhere. I felt detached, disconnected, as if I didn't belong. Whether it was caused by anxiety, low self-esteem, or a lack of self-confidence, I never understood why I felt stuck, repeating the same patterns. That feeling of being in a place I didn't want to be, surrounded by people I didn't connect with, or perhaps it was simply because I disliked myself. It was painful to watch others move forward with their lives while I battled my own mind.

I missed out on so many things—experiences and life stages—because I was excessively worried about everything I imagined could go wrong.

[shallowgirlstuff]

I want to remember for a lifetime what being in love truly is. To smell it in the air, feel it in my bones, in every part of myself, in my scent, in the things I usually do, in my thoughts. I just want to be carried away by that sweet feeling of loving someone else, my favorite things, life itself, all the little things I'm surrounded by.

I went through all kinds of things I used to call "love," but it wasn't love at all. They were things I completely mixed up, and my poor heart was shattered into a million pieces over and over again. Being in love with the wrong things, the wrong people, staying in places that constantly steal your spirit and push you away from your own happiness—those are probably the reasons why many of us say how disastrous being in love or feeling so intensely is. It's not love. It never was, and that's the truth.

I know those places, those feelings. I suffered a lot over the things I used to think I couldn't control, but the truth was that I always could. I could have left earlier and embraced all the pieces of myself, fixed myself, taken a deep and fresh breath away from all the toxicity in my life and my own mind, far away from all the people who made me hate myself a little more than before. But despite being hurt, I choose to remain someone who still believes in real love, in how meaningful it is to feel all your emotions intensely, with every part of who you are. That is who I am at my core. And even though I'm still healing and trying to be less hard on myself day by day, I already know what sort of things I want to keep with the version of myself I'm building.

So, remember, it is not a bad thing at all to be someone who is emotional, soft, and kind. You are who you are, and that makes you incredible, beautiful, and unique in a world where empathy, love, respect, and thoughtfulness towards each other seem to be disappearing.

[shallowgirlstuff]

I LOVE when children who juuuust barely understand ten percent of something find somebody (a toy or a smaller child, usually) who understands zero percent and they’re like “come hither and I shall take you under my wing and teach you my instant wisdom.”

[shallowgirlstuff]

[shallowgirlstuff]

[shallowgirlstuff]

to have someone forever is a whole luxury ya don’t understand

[shallowgirlstuff]