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The power to dictate life

Aye aye sailors,

The more I think about it, the more befitting 'nightmares' feel. It's not like I don't have dreams. I do. Recently I met this girl- funny, smart and tall. Oh boy is she tall. Hurts my neck to look up to her 😂 The dreamy part about her is that it seems like we're friends now. She and 3 other girls. I don't really want to say what I feel to be honest, in the fear that I'll jinx it. For a while now I lived with the idea that no one except my boyfriend would want to be in my life. I can't jinx it. 🤞🏾

Despite them, despite him, despite my hopes. I can't help think of the weeks I've spent on my bed sleeping away a migraine. The numerous doctors visits. The eyesight I'm slowly loosing. The weight I'm gaining. The memories I'm missing. I think about how my nightmares will engulf my dreams; every single night, every single day, every single moment.

I guess dreams mean nothing if the only thing that dictates your life are your nightmares.

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Shameless Coimbatore - 19/11/21-26/11/21 | WEBTOON

Our episode takes

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Shameless Coimbatore - 18/11/21. THURSDAY. 19:50 | WEBTOON

The Humanities Class' Assembly doesn't go as planned...

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My nightmares breed nightmares

Aye aye my sailors, my question to you today is- do you remember your first nightmare? Something that terrified you, made you realise that there's things in the world that are not just disgusting but things that you physically can't handle?

My mom said that in the womb I would never move or kick. [Low-key, as a baby too I knew laziness was important to me] Except for a moment where she shrieked out of fear. My dad was trying to surprise her by reaching home earlier than expected but ended up with a bruise in the stomach cause she thought he was trying to rob the house. Lol. My point being my mom says, every time she's scared, I've been scared. Whether I was in the womb, bassinet, school or in a torn down home. It is a love hate relationship she has with my fears. She loves that I love her instinctually but feels responsible for negative feelings. Because what she feels, I feel.

Recently we've been fighting a lot because my negative feelings bleed into anger. The only person I can be angry around is her. Whether I get fatter, loose more hair, have a fight with a friend or get bullied. She bears the burden with me. When I'm sad, when I snap and when I scream; she deals with me. Now she feels what I feel.

I can't handle that. Her feeling guilty because of me. Her bearing the brunt of my emotions. It makes me angry and scared. Everyday I wake up, live with the idea that my nightmare breeds nightmares.

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My journey to becoming a pirate

You might ask me, pirate? Of nightmares? What the fuck you mean?

Let me ask you do you know what a pirate is?

Here's enlightenment-

They rob ships at sea, keep the loot, make it theirs. I rob you of your nightmare, keep them, repeat them until it's mine. I have nightmares that haunt me everyday, not just any but every nightmare. If you have it, I've had it. I sail the vast ocean of my thoughts and return collect thousands and thousands of terrors.

Yes there's one flaw in my idyllic plan. Pirates don't leave anything but I leave your nightmares with you. My apologies for not being sandman. For that I've compensated. An eye! Yes I might as well wear a patch. I gave my eye away for the right to say aye! Mwahahahaha (says my disease that I actually lost my eye to)

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Hey maybe painting over my life would be easier?

Yes starting over would definitely be easier.

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Shameless Coimbatore - 18/11/21. THURSDAY. 19:50 | WEBTOON

Watch Esha make a new friend in Episode 24!

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Shameless Coimbatore - 18/11/21. Thursday. 17:30 | TUMBLR

Esha posted on her blog PYON (Pirate of your nightmares) regarding how her and her mother's interactions impact her

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Shameless Coimbatore - 14/11/21. SUNDAY. 17:05 | WEBTOON

Esha spends the weekend at her mom's place. While cleaning, they find some old photos...

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Shameless Coimbatore - 14/11/21. SUNDAY. 00:38 | WEBTOON

Esha tries to wish Akshaya a happy birthday!

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sid Rigo (@sidshifting)

[PD: Sketch of someone crying, drawn with a black pen and with purple highlights, against a light yellow-brown background.

[Posted by Sid Rigo on 14/11/21]

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Noorie Amina (@_noorsoupynoodles_)

Caption: Better man just ✨hits different✨ when you dedicate it to your father instead of an ex. Lol.

[PD: posted by Noorie Amina. screenshot from Taylor Swift’s ‘Better Man’. The image shows a pair of black shoes on hardwood floor, with the lyrics "It was always on your terms"].

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Shameless Coimbatore | 10. 11. 21 TUESDAY. 13:50 | WEBTOON

The girls from the arts stream come together. And they really said: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.

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View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sid Rigo (@sidshifting)

[PD: A black and white sketch of Sid's little brother hugging a soft toy]

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Shameless Coimbatore | 9. 11. 21 TUESDAY. 18:55 | WEBTOON

Esha is really like "this is fine" as the building burns down

Naag tries to reach out with..... exercise?

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Shameless Coimbatore - Get to know the characters! | WEBTOON

In case you've been having trouble following the characters, here's a chart to get to know them (and their little quirks)

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Shameless Coimbatore | Tuesday 9:40 | WEBTOON

Esha has been v v stressed about how her first conversation with Noorie on insta went! Watch them figure out their real life footing.

Episode 19 out on webtoon canvas!