she1speaks

[she1speaks]

thinking about old man logan and how the only moment in his entire lifetime where he felt pure, unadulterated happiness was when he realized he was finally dying for something outside of himself WHAT THE FUCK

[she1speaks]

these are the same bitches wtf

[she1speaks]

thoughts about the sauna scene and how art is insulting patrick incessantly and quite literally tells him his existence is irrelevant and all patrick does is laugh and smile because any amount of time spent with art is a win to him MY GODDDD

[she1speaks]

“just love me and eat,” thanks for the added therapy transaction camille deangelis

[she1speaks]

me & bro at the motel vending machine waiting for a gatorade and snickers

[she1speaks]

there’s worse things to sleep with then men

[she1speaks]

oh how i love you luca (knows how to make the most intensely intimate, yet desperately depraved relationships ooze with sex and longing without ever including actual sex thus directing some of the most seductively charged films in cinema all in service of an incredibly distinct and potent ambience) guadagnino <3

[she1speaks]

personally, tashi loved art.

while she may have been a full-runtime’s worth of bitter, from the get-go she made it clear that she ain’t the bullshit taker, nor will she live with it. she does what she wants on her terms, so to that effect when shit first hits the fan with pat- she’s straight out. with art it’s simple, thoughtless and nonconfused, which is not to say they didn’t have their issues, cos they did (clears throat), but she did not have to marry him. she did not have to become a mother, nor did she have to become his coach (deity).

to be fair about a quarter of this should be taken with a grain of salt because it could all just be chalked up to textbook narcissism. tashi haphazardly involves herself with two distinct natures: that which pushes her (pat), and that which grounds her (art). at the top of her game whilst being so young is a lot of inflation taking place. still, never failing at keeping her costs low. ego-maxxing-at-break-neck-speed. by the time she meets patrick and art, there’s an immediate fascination with the blondes curiosity and the brunettes conceit.

tashi either loves art or she actually saw patrick’s ferocity as a somewhat distressing mirroring of her own = crueler, gauging exchanges and a possible ego-contender. while art was predictable and was largely living for the “go ahead”’s which she was particular in supplying = non-threatening and therefor easier to be around.

however, i still think she loves that man in her own fucked up amy dunne-sense. while i don’t buy that at 18 she was already clocking their tea so hard that she was forseeing how being arts bm would send in the checks, it’s still my belief that if she wasn’t gon do one thing- it’s take bullshit. she chose that life, whether out of ease or calculation- it’s a decision she made. 🤷‍♀️ what about it.

[she1speaks]

don’t get a mf wrong- tashi duncan is a force to be reckoned with. girls’ bad. that being said- girls’ also an egoist. when patrick tells her that all she wants is a “member of the fanclub” you can literally see her grin dissolve into sheer bafflement that he would make light of such a concept: her success. she sizes bro up by VERY slowly rising to her feet, keeping eye contact, and asking “you’re not a member of my fanclub?” it’s not rhetorical. she knows she’s hot shit. just a thought 🤭.

[she1speaks]

“roman empire” this “roman empire” that. what if i told you one of the greatest moments of cinema history was Roy Batty’s ‘Tears in Rain’ monologue in the 1982 sci-if movie Blade Runner where right as he’s describing how quickly his memories will collapse into time, you can see a briefly intense moment of selection of his words as he makes the metaphor that they are reminiscent of tears in rain. the process kills him.

we love you rutger hauer

[she1speaks]

nah nah cause i’m sick of all this “art babygirl” this “art donaldson can do no wrong” that- honey….. he orchestrated all the bullshittery. not only does he pin tashi and patrick against eachother by challenging their relationship BEHIND EACHOTHERS BACKS- but he also quite literally causes their breakup and later tashi’s injury. art pushes tashi to question patrick’s love for her, whether she claims she cares about it or not- he plants that seed of paranoia INTENTIONALLY. it isn’t until later when tashi and patrick are together in her dorm that their argument arises out of TASHI COMPARING ART TO PATRICK. this was his master plan. did yall not see how quick and eager he was to excuse his LIFELONG BESTFRIEND out of the room after tashi’s injury???? you wanna talk about weaponized subservience???? manipulation can come in forms not always obvious to the naked eye- and art donaldson knows how to twist the knife with that cute lil grin on his face FUCK.

[she1speaks]

i hate men

i’m serious this time