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My thoughts no longer have structure. It terrifies me that maybe my thoughts arent my own and that maybe i am giving more power to my thoughts than they hold. It terrifies me that my thoughts are wasted away because i cannot pay more attention to them and i am also afraid that my thoughts may consume me because i pay them too much attention. I am terrified that i am terrified of nothing else but myself.
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Dalawang Milya
9:02 pm
February 7, 2018
Ito na ang pinaka malapit na distansya natin- dalawang milya, iisang siyudad, parehong oras.
Sadya lang sigurong pinaglalayo tayo ng pagkakataon o sadyang hindi lang natin sinusunod ang dikta ng ating kutob na dapat narito tayo sa pinagkasunduang lugar sa takdang panahon.
Sa larawan na lamang natin mapagmamasdan ang isa't isa habang ang pisngi ko'y sabik sa iyong labing dumadampi sa mga ito na para bang nanunukso.
Ngunit sadyang ganoon ka na nga lamang siguro sa akin- nanunukso. Hindi kayang magsalita ng patapos dahil hindi mo kayang bumali ng pangako.
At sa ngayon alam ko na siguro kung saan ako lulugar sa iyo- dalwang milya ang layo.
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Cigarettes
September 30, 2017
11:21 pm
You were broken, I knew.
You were looking to pass time, I knew.
I knew you.
I let you wallow in my pain
to let you know
you are not the only one hurting
I let you burn through me
like the cigarettes
you so religiously smoke
With the dream that
I will be
the last.
But I was just
another disposable cigarette
in a pack of twenty- four.
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Contrarium
She was born of fire,She can withstand the heat of the blazing flame that was perched upon her palms. She was unburnt.
He was born of the cold, he was used to seeing his breath in the frigid air. His mouth was accustomed to the taste alcohol that was creeping its way through his throat which he nursed for warmth.
They met, and no longer does he need rhum under his tongue.
She was born of fire- he, of snow. Her delicate hands were not made to handle ice. It stung when he grazed his fingers through her cheek. She knew exactly not to meddle with things she cannot control.
But she loved him too much that even her fire froze where it burnt.
Her hands no longer bear flames, but ice and frost. To what use is she to him now? Without a fire to warm his flesh in the cold, arctic weather? So he left for a new flame.
But she was born of fire and fire resides in her soul. She knew that and made her flames burn brighter than they did before she froze. It marked the end of winter.
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