shitdavexsays - Tumblr blog

[shitdavexsays]

MOVED

Tumblr now doesn’t let people read everything without being logged in, so this blog has moved to shitdavexsays.wordpress.com in the spirit of inclusion.

[shitdavexsays]

When the mice are away, the cheese will play.

On his various managers not being in a meeting

[shitdavexsays]

"Possum wool? No DaveX, you say, that’s like wearing a rat suit! But no. Even Barack Obama wore a possum-wool sweater. I bought one, it’s super comfortable."

a kool-aid man costume is fine, but apparently a rat suit would be one step too far. 

[shitdavexsays]

Mob kingpins have a very stressful job. Even kingpins know there’s nothing like a velour running suit. You have one of those on? Peace is with you.

Exhorting a large group of people into getting cozy for the bleak winter ahead.

[shitdavexsays]

You don’t want to eat alligator…it’s like a chicken somebody left in a pond to marinate, it’s gross.

Not a fan of certain Cajun foods 

[shitdavexsays]

The pork board promised me unlimited bacon!

When asked how his presentation went in the Midwest

[shitdavexsays]

I can't work my phone's touchscreen while wearing these Kool-aid Man gloves! This is terrible!

while wearing a creased, fresh-from-the-box cheap costume from Amazon

[shitdavexsays]

If you best me in a fight, you can have a sombrero.

While wearing a giant stack of 17 sombreros

[shitdavexsays]

For chrissakes, somebody give these people an acronym.

Writing a check to an organization with an extremely long name

[shitdavexsays]

Did I ever tell you about the time I jumped the 18' inflatable alligator and the 17 bikes with my monster truck?

[shitdavexsays]

Disappointment is like sour candy. It builds character.

[shitdavexsays]

...and then you wake up in the morning and there's clown makeup smeared over the pillow, and you're like 'WHAT HAVE I DONE'...

DaveX, on life choices

[shitdavexsays]

It was depressing, but in the funnest way.

Describing a Christmas Eve visit to watch a performance of “Peter Pan” in a Reno casino. 

[shitdavexsays]

I can do the dark side. If you live in the light all day, you're just like a drum-jam hippie.

[shitdavexsays]

The Devil is a patient fisherman, but he needs the proper bait.

On recruiting volunteers 

[shitdavexsays]

Sometimes it’s more important to look good and die quickly.

On maybe not wearing 100% cotton this year. 

[shitdavexsays]

It's not a party without a giant box of radios and some fire extinguishers!

Working events.