shonafee

[shonafee]

Is big bird an apex predator

not at all! as we can tell from his general behavior and repeated comments about how delicious birdseed is, Big Bird is a megafauna herbivore and a keystone of the Sesame Street ecosystem!

Big Bird is too large to be challenged by the predatory muppets, so he can browse where he pleases, and in doing so he opens up spaces and opportunities for the smaller muppets, both predatory and non-predatory alike!

[shonafee]

The comment I made in the tags of the last post is making me think of Swan-Mills DnD family game night but instead of roleplaying they all just play as themselves

Emma likes to multiclass so she's pretty well rounded. A jack of all trades master of none type. Her wisdom is ass tho

Snow is a rogue but for some reason decided to make her best stat charisma

David can hit things. He can also take a hit. His background of growing up on a farm means he passes nearly all nature-based and animal handling skill checks with ease. Unfortunately he is outclassed in just about all of this by some of his companions, rendering him a bit redundant

Regina dumped all her stats into intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. She's always getting one-shotted due to her low constitution and needing to be revived. Emma is constantly nagging her about putting some points into dexterity so she's not solely relying on magic all the time, grilling her about what she's going to do when she runs out of spell slots. "Cantrips, Miss Swan, cantrips," is all Regina ever says in response. And yes, she does abuse magic missile, why do you ask?

Belle is a non-magic user who poured all her stats into intelligence and wisdom. Because of this, everyone thinks they're going to have to carry her during encounters but she almost always manages to hold her own through clever use of her environment and an intimate understanding of all the monsters they face

Killian multiclasses as a rogue and a bard, and is content to either talk his way out of conflict or fight his way out. His keen senses for finding treasure and disarming traps, skills with both a pistol and a rapier, and convenient support abilities are valued by his companions. However, his party always becomes quickly annoyed by his attempts to fuck anything that moves

It's always a good time when Red makes it to a session. As a path of the beast barbarian with high strength and high constitution, she makes any combat encounter a walk in the park. Her sensitive nose also allows her party to bypass certain puzzles/encounters they would have otherwise spent hours on. The only downside to having her around is her wolfish appetite and subsequent strain on the group's resources

Robin is a rogue who the party calls in for stealth missions. Emma resents him for it, since when he's not around, she's the one who is relied on for all things related to stealth and thievery. But the real reason she doesn't like him is because he keeps flirting with Regina's character

Mulan is a fighter class and can do basically everything David can do but better. She has abysmally low charisma though so the group has to be careful to never allow her to be the one to talk to strangers they come across

Despite having +10 modifiers in all stats, Rumple still can't help but cheat and gets kicked out of sessions for it repeatedly. The party ends up caving and bringing him back for more challenging missions since his skillset as the Dark One is so useful. He has a bad habit of rolling crit fails at high stakes moments, setting the party's progress back months in some cases. When he isn't cheating or rolling nat 1's, he has a tendency to turn on his companions. No one knows why they keep inviting him

[shonafee]

[shonafee]

crack fic my beloved

[shonafee]

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

[shonafee]

i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot

So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They've never used another charger for said phone.

Now, they've tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn't matter how much they've searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.

The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: "The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they've mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place."

And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there's a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they've destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They've hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.

This too is toxic yuri to me-

[shonafee]

Crack Fanfic Idea:

Short chapters that are called after a specific pattern. For example:

The day Emma and Regina...

But instead of clever ideas you use autofil and see what's going to happen that day. You probably need help with different algorithms, but I think it could be so fun and silly.

[shonafee]

[shonafee]

LOOK WHAT I MADE!

I took some songs I like, chose my two favourite lines of them, and: Swanqueen!

Like it? I can make more 🥹

All of those are good songs to me btw, so please no hate 🫶🏻

[shonafee]

Happy Pride Month!

Faust is back for the 5th time! If you want to use the flag of your choice as an avatar, they're under the cut. They're free to use as long as it's for personal use only.

[shonafee]

It's always friends to lovers except if you know your enemy good enough

Being demisexual and bi is funny to me. Anyone can hit it but you must suffer The Gauntlet first

[shonafee]

[shonafee]

Arts&Crafts

by cinnonyms

Words: 48k

Rating: M

“So, Regina,” Emma said conversationally, a questing jab at the constraints of this evening.

The queen’s head snapped up, her eyes narrowing.

“That’s ‘Your Majesty’ to you.”

“Of course, of course.” Emma held her hands up before dropping to a crouch to pick up the file. If the gesture revealed her chest again, shirt sticking to her skin and leaving preciously little to the imagination, then that was Regina’s problem to deal with. “Do you want me to kneel this time, or are the honorifics enough to satisfy your royal standards.”

She kept her tone light and teasing, aiming for cocky but not insolent. If Regina’s attitude by the river had been anything to go by, the queen was all too used to people obeying her blindly. Maybe someone who thought for themself would be a welcome change.

There was a charged pause, in which Emma’s gamble hung in limbo, then Regina tipped her head back and released a peal of laughter, wild and throaty like woodsmoke. It delighted Emma the same way an unusual commission delighted her; in it, she sensed both a challenge and the promise of a glorious reward.

“You should be careful, Ms Swan,” the queen remarked after she had finished laughing. A mischievous smile played on her lips, pulling at the scar in a way that made Emma itch to trace it. Soon, if she played her cards right. “A failure to respect the Crown is considered treason.”

Emma hummed. “Yeah, well, a failure to respect a carpenter is considered tree-son, so…”

The queen blinked, then grimaced. Emma put on her most charming smile and mimicked a tree getting felled. The queen groaned.

“Fine, fine, you can call me Regina for the time being. Just… stop. Please.”

Emma grinned.

“Why thank you, Regina, and welcome to Emma’s wood shop. What can I help you with?”

A carpenter!Emma AU

Read on AO3

Moodboard created in collab with @shonafee 😘🥰♥

[shonafee]