shorteeby40 - Tumblr blog

[shorteeby40]

Flies would be our saving grace with zombies. Within 10-24 days depending on weather most of the flesh is gone. Zombies would have a pretty short shelf life.

If zombies were real, you wouldn't first be warned by the approaching horde by their smell, by their groans, not even a cloud of smoke of the dust they raise coming closer from the horizon. It would be the flies. Hordes and hordes of insects, corpse-flies laying eggs on the carcasses of people who still walk, eating the eyeballs from their sockets, climbing across their unfeeling leathery skin. And the buzzing. The inescapable, deafening buzzing. Everywhere. Like you did not just kick a hornet's nest, but the very ground you walk on was a hornet nest, and each step caused another explosion of insects.

Insects, corpse flies, the buzzing. Their swarms blacken the skies, more horrifying than their migrating meals. The deafening cacophony of constant buzzing, the horrid noise of the living who feast on the dead who feast on the living. The buzzing.

The endless, inescapable buzzing.

[shorteeby40]

I made stew. It was awesome. I love potatoes.

[shorteeby40]

[shorteeby40]

Not to sound to Calvin-coded, but was anyone else vaguely disappointed as a child that your parents had food coloring stocked in their kitchen and yet continued to serve you home-cooked meals that were regularly colored?

Like, don't get me wrong mom, these mashed potatoes are perfectly tasty, but I bet they'd be just as tasty and significantly cooler if they were green.

[shorteeby40]

Was there a reason Trump said "CEREAL, BACON, & EGGS" at the debate?

Think about it!

What do we do to throw off the enemy?

We use slight of ears, eyes, and hand...

SERIAL, BACON, & EGGS...

E.B.S.

Is it right in front of our faces?

I'm just asking... You Decide 🤔

[shorteeby40]

That really is how being in your 30s is like 😭

[shorteeby40]

Simply pineapple and those probiotics ain't gonna do shit. Simply pineapple has added sugar and is only 14% juice. Probiotics have to be continuously taken to see any benefit. The whole point of those things is that it they help you maintain healthy ph and bacteria balance.

RepHresh pro B is a better choice in probiotics or even integrative therapies, they actually have the strains for healthy vagina bacteria.

But that would require actually caring about the vagina health and not just does it taste good quickly.

women will do this for a man that touches their clit for 4 seconds max

[shorteeby40]

For a second I thought this was about making a new Jumanji movie

[shorteeby40]

tumblr trying to sell me a single banana

[shorteeby40]

Have y'all seen this 😭

[shorteeby40]

My roommate and his girlfriend got in the shower together and they’re… Talking about politics?

I was expecting to hear “OH GOD, HARDER,” not “George Washington was entirely correct in his prediction of what distinct parties would do to politics as a whole.”

[shorteeby40]

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

[shorteeby40]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[shorteeby40]

Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.

[shorteeby40]

You know what they say, "a watched frog never boils."