shr00mg0dd3ss

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

The Lifeless Shell of A Living Man

A poem about dissociation

He still sees

Of course he can

He still reads

And writes with his hands

He still hears

Of course he does

He still feels

And he still loves

But something is missing

Something isn’t there

His mind is floating

In the aether somewhere

The lifeless shell

Still lives and breathes

The living man

Hides beneath the seams.

He forgot something

But what could it be?

Oh to be

A lifeless shell of a living man

A blessing and a horrible thing

But of course

Through my smile I’ll lie

For I was a living man

Now nothing more than a shell without life

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

What happened w me and my husband today.

After school, my bf, my friend and I walked to a smoothie place that's close to our school. We were hanging out and vibing when I handed my friend, who I refer to as my Wife, my phone. I told her to do what she wanted and take pictures, I want memories.

And take pictures she did.

At some point, my anemic ass got cold and my bf gave me his jacket while I stole my Wife's arm warmers. I felt like a celebrity because of how I was dressed and my Wife and bf agreed.

Now, at some point, I'm having a 'photoshoot' and feel hot as shit when my bf skips past. I call him over and, after a moment, he skips his happy ass over to me.

And hurts his ankle.

And falls in front of me.

And then I stare at him for a moment before noticing my Wife still taking pictures and STRIKING A FUCKING POSE!

Twas an eventful day.

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

She hates listening to these pricks, lecturing her on how to save society like she doesnt already know how. She was fucking homeless, of course she knows how to save society and fight crime and shit. But, she has to sit here. Smile and nod. Go with their plans.

But...maybe not completely.

"Violetta! Are you even listening to us?" She jumps slightly. "Yes, ma'am. I'm listening." She sounds overly polite as she speaks to this preachy bitch of a woman. The woman nods. Violetta doesn't actually think she remembers her name...what was it...Anna? Annabelle maybe? Something with an 'A' she's sure of it.

Unimportant, the bitch is still going on about responsibility and duty or whatever.

"With all due respect, ma'am, I think I'm gonna go and practice my new powers." Anna or whatever pauses and nods, huffing softly. "Fine. Get out of here."

Violetta leaves, groaning softly. She sees her reflection in her peripheral and pauses, still not used to this. Upon her powers awakening, her hair and eyes seemed to...fade, if you will. Her originally red-brunette ish hair turned almost pink, her deep grey-blue eyes turning a light, vibrant blue, looking almost white in the sun.

She didn't particularly like it. She didn't hate it, sure, but...it didn't feel her. It reminded her distinctly of one of those preppy assholes who only cared for themselves and their image.

She was never going to be like that.

Ever.

She walked through the large tower, seeing the view of the city. It was very different from the slums, which seeped into the corners and alleys of this world. It was almost like a spiders web or some sort of goo, getting stuck in the corners and hiding anything bad. She missed the slums more than she ever thought she would.

But she has to focus. She has to make sure she does...something, anything, to actually save society. To save the slums and her people.

She'll succeed in her own damn way.

Before Violetta's brain could even process it, she was at her new room. Her soft sigh seemed to suspend in the air for a moment when she opened the door.

The room was large and pretty. Those are the first words she could think of when looking at it. It looked far too...untouched. not lived in.

She could fix that.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the chandelier and touched it. She breathed out slowly and watched as it liquified and connected to her hand. She slowly stretched it it out, shaping it slowly before moving to connect it to the wall near the ceiling to floor windows overlooking the outside world. She slowly stretched and weaved and shaped the chandelier to her liking until she was done, breathing out and allowing herself to relax a little, letting Liquify slow to a stop, the power buzzing in her veins.

She looked up at her work, seeing that it was now dimmer and much more comfortable. She managed to stretch the chandelier into almost star shaped fairy lights, the change making the room both prettier and simpler.

It was exactly what she needed.

She sighs and stretches, sighing contentedly as she hears the pops and clicks up her spine. She pops everything she can before moving to her bed and collapsing onto it.

She was done with today. Done with her powers and her new boss and everything else, but, most of all, she was done with being awake. It took more effort than she liked, of course it wasn't something she wanted to do.

So she allowed Liquify to overtake her body, as it has started doing when she is tired, and allowing her to literally melt into the comfort of her bed. She passed out quickly, falling into a deep sleep.

(Might make something outta this, continue it or something, I dunno.)

Nearly all your life you lived on the streets. People ignored you at best and reviled you at worst. Then you got superpowers and those same people begin to lecture you about “altruism,” “duty,” and “responsibility.”

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

I calmly walk up to the podium and smile at the coffin softly, a kind look on my face.

"This is a sad day for me. Much sadder than people may realize, similarly to how my parents hardly realized my sister." I glare out at the crowd.

"My parents never cared for this sweet girl. She wasnt the favorite, she never was. I can guarantee that my parents dont even recall her name." I hear people gasp softly as my parents begin fuming. I watch them squirm nervously as people start whispering to them.

"My sister killed herself. I'm aware what the doctors say, I'm aware that they said she drowned in a lake. But I got her note. I got her letter." More gasps echo through the area as my parents look up at me in disbelief. I pull a paper out of my pocket.

"Dearest sister, I do hope you see this as this is the last thing I can give to you. I have nothing for anybody else, you were the only one who noticed me, truly noticed me. Mom and dad ignored me, I have nothing for them. As much as I hate to say it, i lost my feelings of love and respect for them. I just feel empty." I pause my reading of the note to wipe some tears from my eyes.

"I leave you with the knowledge that my death is not your fault. You were my one reason to live. But my will was lost quickly due to the stupidity and ignorance of the people around us. I will be at our lake, forever."

I look up and glare at my parents. I see many other people side eyeing them and sneering at them quietly.

"So, for my last few words to my sister, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasnt enough, I'm sorry that you were brought to this fate by that hands of our peers and family." I take a deep breath and set the note on top of the coffin, along with a yellow tulip, her favorite flower. I go to walk down and pause.

"If any of you attempt to contact me after this, I will file a restraining order."

And I leave with those being my true last words ever said, never looking back.

Maybe I should have.

Maybe it was meant to be.

Maybe fate determined it.

Or maybe, just maybe, I should have remembered my alcoholic father with anger issues understood that setting fire to a napkin that was stuffed in a full beer bottle could harm someone.

Maybe, I should have turned around.

Just for a moment.

At least I get to see my sister soon.

Your sibling, your parents’ least favorite child, died prematurely. They hardly noticed. They certainly didn’t shed a tear. Now, during the funeral, they forgot your siblings name - again. It’s your turn to ‘say a few words’, so you do.

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

One sided RadioApple is RottenApple

Which is one sided for it? Either! It's a rotten apple anyway.

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

Me: I'm gonna fight god

Me: Not myself, obvi

Me: I'm gonna fist fight god himself, how dare he drown me in body dysmorphia

Me: And I will fucking win that fight

Me: The whore has nothing on me, I'm feuled by spite and my lack of a will to live

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

Me: I'm abt to throw hands w the fucking school.

My friend: that's so real

Me: Yeah, the school called me down to the counselors office to tell me I need therapy.

Me: Said they could provide me with therapy

Me: And here I am, months later, therapy-less.

*eye starts twitching*

Me: I'm gonna throw hands

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

The bullshittery I genuinely js heard:

Ashes: "How much butter do you think I should put on toast?"

Bastard: "Idk, will it give you diabetes?"

Ashes: "...no?"

Cee: "Add some more, I kinda wanna see how quickly you'll die!"

Gremlin: "I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea!"

Bastard: "Shut up you gremlin little shit, you're fucking thirteen ,you can't talk about bad ideas."

Gremlin: "WELL GODDAMN, FUCK YOU TOO!"

How tf did my life turn to this??? Why are they trying to kill eachother? Who the fuck almost set the TOASTER ON FIRE!?

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

Yk, sometimes i wonder what good sisters are, especially if she's younger than you.

And then I get to find out that the only reason my little sister befriends anyone I date is so that when/if they break my heart, she won't be the first suspect of their murder. Even if she did commit said murder.

The backstabbing little shit.

I fucking love my sister.

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

[shr00mg0dd3ss]

The prayer and summoning had gone well, but you thought you'd made a mistake. Instead of a young vixen, you got an older woman. Her skin was a deep brown color, looking almost red, and it was severely wrinkled. She was beautiful, yes, but she wasn't what you expected.

"I thought that the goddess of love would look....different...younger." You speak softly before you process the words that you spoke. "Not- uh not that you aren't young, ma'am, you are gorgeous, uh-" you get cut off by a soft laugh emanating from the woman.

"Oh my, dear you must have been thinking of my daughter, who is the goddess of passion and romance." A soft glow seems to surround her, her eyes suddenly looking like a deep purple. "I am the goddess of LOVE."

You nervously look at the woman. "Oh, um, if you don't mind me asking, what is the difference?" The woman smiles softly, holding out her hand. You hesitantly take it, a look of confusion in your eyes.

"Let me show you, dear."

Suddenly the world around you fades, your senses fading with it.

And you're floating.

You feel warmth encase you, the smell of cookies and chocolate appearing. The smells of grass and outdoors overwhelming you. The sounds of nature and pools and laughter. And you feel safe.

Everything you love, the smells and colors and sounds of everyone you love overwhelm every single one of your senses. And you understand.

When you open your eyes, you are once again in your room. The woman is gone, but you can feel her smile. In her place are plenty of purple roses.

Years later, you can be found in a shabby little cottage, completely alone after your spouse died and you children left you. You aren't sure if you have grandchildren, but you are content nonetheless.

Your front yard is covered in purple roses and, occasionally, neighbors can see an old, darker woman visiting you and not leaving until hours, and sometimes even days, later.

“I thought the goddess of love would look…different.” The wrinkled old woman waved a dismissive hand, leaned closer, and smiled. “You are thinking of my daughter, the goddess of passion and romance. Dearie, I am the goddess of LOVE.”