shriekingpotatos - Tumblr blog

[shriekingpotatos]

I’m at least 4 of these and I don’t know if I should be offended, honored, or ashamed

Not saying you should out-conspiracy the vaccine complainers, but I’ve done it and it’s extremely funny to watch them glitch out

I find not engaging with crazy people to be far more rewarding because they hate that shit.

Crazy people is a list including, but in no way limited to:

People who tell others they need to get the COVID-19 vaccine

People who tell others why they shouldn't get the COVID-19 vaccine

Everybody in government, every country, every level

People who speak English as a primary language

People who do not speak English as a primary language

People who think they speak English as a primary language but can't fathom the difference between "lose" and "loose"

People who don't like cheese

People who don't like chocolate

@shriekingpotatos

People who think pumpkin is edible

People who think parsnips are edible

That one guy in NY who doesn't like ice cream

People who vomit their political/religious opinions around like anybody actually wants to hear that shit

Full-service restaurant non-tippers

Pretty much everybody in Cracker Barrel's corporate offices

The entire state of California and everywhere a Californian moves to

People with pictures of a shitty dark circle of the eclipse talking about how beautiful it was - your fucking picture wasn't

Pete Buttigieg

Mike Pence

The entire cast, audience, production crew, janitorial staff, and pretty much anybody in any way affiliated with The View

People that don't want to try my homemade wine and beer

The makers of Zima, clear Coke, new Coke, clear Pepsi, and all the god-awful clear beverages of the 90's that on a good day tasted like a rhino's expressed anal glands mixed with sweat

People who gave Unicorn Overlord bad reviews - your opinion is bad and you should feel bad

The IRS, especially those who decided auto-gratuity was a wage and not a tip

Those Just Stop Oil protesters that shut down roads so people sit there with their cars running, burning more oil

People who let their children run loose

Customers in general. Should have led with that.

Managers, especially the ones who think it's somehow motivating to have pay/hours/job threats constantly looming and that yelling is the best way to get what you want

I could have just said customers and left it at that...but I'd already typed too far and was too lazy to scroll back up. -J

[shriekingpotatos]

This is going to be the first thanksgiving I’ve ever worked (as a server) and I have a feeling it’s going to be… interesting.

I’m preparing for all of the “awe you have to work today instead of spending it with your family :((( “

as if the entire reason I’m here isn’t because of them and if they didn’t come in, we’d have no reason to be open but GO OFF lol

Hopefully everyone is nice and it’ll be fine.

[shriekingpotatos]

Sweet Tea

Today was a pretty busy day because some football game was going on. I'm not a sport person so I had no idea but go TEAM. DO THE THING. MAKE THE POINT.

Anyways, because it was busy, we were turning tables as quickly as possible. As soon as a table was up, it was immediately bussed (we don't have a busser so we bus the tables ourselves), reset, and resat. Great for making money. Not great if you forget stuff at your table that could potentially be confused with trash.

I had this lady at my table who seemed to be in a hurry from the very beginning which confuses me because 1) why are you at a sit down restaurant, especially one with a wait, if you're in a hurry and 2) She took her time while dining so she obviously wasn't THAT much in a hurry. I went to great her and before I could say "Hi, how are you?" she tells me she's still waiting for one more person but she wants a water and a sweet tea. Okay easy enough.

Fast forward to the end of her dining:

Me: Alrighty, here's the check for you, I hope y'all have a great rest of your day! Lady: Thank you. Oh, I want a sweet tea to go, is that possible? Me: Sure, no problem, I'll be right back.

Grab it for her, she leaves, continue to bus tables since 3 of mine got up at the same time.

About 5 minutes later, as I have an entire tray full of dirty glasses that I'm taking to the dish pit, I hear beside me, "Hey I forgot my sweet tea and they already threw it away..." I look over at the table and sure enough, my service partner already bussed my table for me (love her).

Me: Yeah, sure, I'll grab you another one, just let me drop this off in the kitchen and I will go make it. Lady: okay good.

As she says 'good', she puts her hand on my arm as a 'thank you', I assume, but just so happened to push hard enough that my tray went off balance and a full cup of water fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces. It's not a big deal, it happens. I now, however, can no longer go with the original plan of grabbing the tea immediately and let her know that it'll be a minute since I need to clean this up.

I ask the hostess if she could grab me a broom since I cannot leave the shattered glass for obvious safety reasons and start to sweep everything up. Then, someone had to bring me a mop and a wet floor sign to finish up the job. The entire time I'm doing this (which took less than 3 minutes), the woman is standing by the kitchen door just glaring at me.

Then, once I'm done (which, again, less than three minutes), I go and grab her a to go cup full of sweet tea, and...she's gone. Asked the host if someone else got her a to go cup and was told they made one but she left without it. She also stiffed me on the bill and I'm assuming it's because of this whole debacle because she was fine and taken care of while she was dining. Or maybe she's just a cheap ass who doesn't tip. Who knows.

Oh well lol

[shriekingpotatos]

Okay everyone I’ve been MIA for a while since I haven’t been working and there’s no tales from the sales floor if I’m not on the sales floor BUT

I have an interview this Saturday at a really nice restaurant for a server position ($10/hr plus tips on plates that average $45 a pop? Say less)

So please send me all the good vibes.

Im nervous.

I haven’t had an interview in 5 years lmfaooo

P.S. I asked @mylifeasaserver to look over my résumé and let me know if it looked fine (since I haven’t written one in like 10 years) and he sent back, uh… interesting changes.

If anyone wants to see it, I’ll block out my info and post it 😂

He is a menace to society. A menace to me, at least

[shriekingpotatos]

I think his big toes have ingrown nails??? John, the HORROR.

GET A PEDICURE

would you post a picture with my name on your boobs?

(can provide compensation if you want ;) )

Are you just messaging every girl on tumblr you see to do this? This is like the 5th or 6th exact copy & paste message I've see you ask.

Give me $10 000and sure! Otherwise, Fuck off.

[shriekingpotatos]

Did… did you just send me feet pics?

would you post a picture with my name on your boobs?

(can provide compensation if you want ;) )

Are you just messaging every girl on tumblr you see to do this? This is like the 5th or 6th exact copy & paste message I've see you ask.

Give me $10 000and sure! Otherwise, Fuck off.

[shriekingpotatos]

Oh so you’ll do this, John, but you won’t send me nudes. I feel like this is cultural appropriation or MKUltra or something.

WHERE ARE MY NUDES JOHN. WHERE. ARE. MY. NUDES.

would you post a picture with my name on your boobs?

(can provide compensation if you want ;) )

Are you just messaging every girl on tumblr you see to do this? This is like the 5th or 6th exact copy & paste message I've see you ask.

Give me $10 000and sure! Otherwise, Fuck off.

[shriekingpotatos]

Ya know, John, I find it incredibly disrespectful as an employee to not care about profit margins. How dare you not know your place as a wage slave PLEEB.

You should also be excited to recycle bottles. Like “wet your panties” levels of excited.

Like I just… you only got a job to pay bills?! Next you’re gonna tell us you’d steal food if your family was starving smh my head

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Get fucked.

Company gives me money, I do things. I do not generally care about profit margins and the like because I'm there for a fucking check.

When my check is high enough to give a shit about profit margins and the like, I'll let them know.

[shriekingpotatos]

Maybe you can give me some advice?

My bosses keep short-staffing us to get better bonuses, and the equipment is...awful. We have to go downstairs to get a bucket of ice to use to make drinks since the upstairs ice machine has been broken forever. Imagine how bad it is during the rush to have to go downstairs for a bucket of ice.

We can't serve espresso because that machine has been broken forever and somehow none of the customers know it despite a sign on the door and the registers. Then there's Diane, the GM. She loves coming out and chewing our asses for not getting everything done despite running at half staff most days. What would you do here? Would you look for a new job, or cash out the structured settlement I got as part of a freak accident with a buttplug called "the thickener" I don't know what to do.

I really think it could work here but I don't know if management will ever change and our HR person is on a leave of absence. It's basically hell. Any advice?

Ya know, I was ready to give actual advice and then the ending hit me like a truck and now I’m going back to bed 😭💀

I must have kicked puppies in a previous life 💀

[shriekingpotatos]

This isn’t work related but it makes me laugh how our ancestors went through sooo much and I have to set a reminder to drink water (one that I usually ignore).

I’m very dehydrated 🫠

[shriekingpotatos]

I was finishing filing my taxes today and one of the questions was “did you have an annuity” and then I saw a message board post about withdrawing from a 401k because you need cash now and I hate it here.

Hate it.

I’m overthrowing the IRS just because of this.

[shriekingpotatos]

I would also like to add that tumblr blurred this image in my asks because it may “be disturbing to view” and I had to accept the disclaimer to view it.

I should have listened to tumblr. It tried to save me 🥲

[shriekingpotatos]

You didn't need to move to get cash now. You just needed to call J.G. Wentworth at 877-Cash-Now!

MY THERAPIST SAID I DONT HAVE TO TAKE THAT FROM YOU 🫠💀

[shriekingpotatos]

… PERHAPS.

Hello everybodyyy

I know I’ve been MIA and a few people have messaged me asking if I’m okay and

YES. I AM OKAY. maybe not completely since I am constantly haunted by… ya know… THE ✨JINGLE✨ but other than that I’m fine.

I just moved over 4 states away and it’s been an adjustment lol I’ll be back soon with more stories and whatnot but IM NOT DEAD.

Okay maybe I’m dead inside

BUT THE OUTSIDE IS STILL INTACT

OKAY THANK YOU ILY 💜

[shriekingpotatos]

I TRIED TO COMMENT ON THIS AND IT WOULDNT LET ME CUZ IM ON MOBILE.

THIS HURTS MY SOUL. I WAS HAVING A ✨GOOD DAY✨ AND NOW IM NOT 0/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND

[shriekingpotatos]

[shriekingpotatos]

So like I have a question...and it's like a really important question and I don't know whether or not you can help me? But I just thought I could ask because you seem like you might know a number for if someone were to need cash now?

NO I DONT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT OKAY NOOO 💀