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Reflecting Days | Feeling Blue | Ayako (re: event, motive)

When everyone else worked to apologize and reconcile and do something fun together, Ayako was silent. She had walked out of the courtyard before anyone could invite her to makeover night.

- - -

Ayako made herself rather scarce in the aftermath of the investigation, though most people who managed to find her were still met with a nervous smile, as if nothing had ever happened. Her sleeping was still erratic without a phone’s clock and alarm to keep her on track, something not helped by the perpetual sunset sky above the courtyard. And still, she made it part of her routine, just to give herself some semblance of a schedule. Mornings by the rose garden. Evenings in the chapel.

The routine didn’t account for the devil child’s laughter waking her up, though.

Ayako wasn’t in a hurry to get out of bed, only moving when it seemed Toka would keep taunting her meaninglessly until they were certain she was paying attention. Only then did Toka finally get to the point, directing her to some note in her room. It didn’t take long for Ayako to find it – there it was, tucked between bottles set out on the nightstand.

She hesitated, hand hovering over the slip of paper.

She already had a good idea of who the target of this threat was. It could have been several people. Hard-working parents who only wanted to keep their children happy, at all costs. Grandparents willing to donate their old supplies and their old knowledge. A sister, still so young, still too young to die.

(But since when did that ever mean anything?)

Maybe if she just never looked at this paper, Toka’s words couldn’t become reality. It could have been so many people, she already knew that, so did it even matter to her which one? The end result was the same: Someone she loved would die unless somebody here took the bait. Someone she loved could die unless she took the bait.

Ayako grasped one of the bottles on the nightstand instead and continued her morning routine.

This time, her act of pretending that nothing had ever gone wrong only lasted about fifteen minutes, the length of time needed to take a long shower. Those were fifteen minutes of silence, and silence invited in all sorts of deep thoughts that only stirred up her fears. What if she was wrong and it was somebody else? A classmate? An art partner? What if it wasn’t a threat of death after all, and the devil had meant some worse fate? What if, somehow, she could lose her a second time?

And Ayako, still trying to dry out her hair, finally looked at the note. And Ayako, still trying to pretend the wetness on her face was from her hair, mouthed out Hanako’s name.

(It never meant anything. She was proof. Everyone here was proof.)

Someone else would take the bait. Someone else, with a heart so much more passionate and fragile and tender than hers, would kill to save their own loved one. Ayako could – it disgusted her – but she could wait, and she could keep her own hands clean up until the moment she sent someone else to the executioner’s block.

(…But what if she had to wait too long, until it was too late?)

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Reflecting Days | Proof of Life | Ayako

Here was Ayako knew right at that moment: The ache that hammered away in her chest was proof that she was still alive. Even after everything, even after having to discard someone else’s life to keep herself safe, even after the burning sensation began to sting her throat, she would continue to live so long as she didn’t let this heart stop beating.

She coughed again and again, unable to do more than sit behind her podium. She couldn’t straighten up her back and watch Toka as they tallied up the results, nor could she look Seinaru in the eye after having cast one of many stones at her. Toka’s childish voice grated on her nerves – they might as well have used nails to carve the tally into the chalkboard – but Ayako tried to swallow down the unease still burning and churning in her stomach. She had done this to live, she told herself. If she had held back – if too many of them at once held back – then would Toka have really lashed out at random just as they had promised at the start?

Ayako was trying to live, even if it meant someone else was going to die for her sake. Kami, or Seinaru – she’d already taken a life, however accidental—

(for the most fleeting second, Ayako felt that maybe this felt familiar, that in another world under different circumstances she would be the one getting in a struggle over a knife, getting stabbed senselessly and putting her blood on another girl’s hands – but the moment passed and all that remained was the fear that maybe “I did it to protect myself” would never be enough to justify what just happened this morning)

—however accidental, Seinaru had been marked as a killer. If the rest of them wanted to guard themselves from punishment, they’d have to cast the stones at her. Ayako kept trying to rationalize what she had done with thoughts like that. She kept trying to tell herself that, regardless of whatever built up to that struggle, somebody was dead because of her and she needed to be brought to justice.

Death by fire was not the justice Ayako had hoped for.

Revulsion was flooding every space in her body, scorching her from within. This wasn’t Akihito’s apparent heart attack or Yukitoshi’s mundane stabbing. Something profoundly twisted and evil was at work here, forcing Seinaru to the edge until the flames finally consumed her. The revelations weighed heavy in her chest – this really could only be the work of a devil.

The farcical shows of the theater didn’t relieve her of the sudden sting of tears in her eyes. Seinaru’s entire history was now on display, stories of what Ayako interpreted as an abusive household – but it was Yukitoshi’s show that lingered in her mind like a bad song. She’d seen the mask by his body, after all. People wearing a mask during cold seasons weren’t unheard of, but…

But Ayako found a lot of her own tale of sickness and isolation being reflected in his own. And this wasn’t anything that she needed to hear right now.

By the time the remaining group was finally returned to the castle, Ayako was able to stand back up, hands crossed over her waist in a gesture both demure and guarded.

This was going to be how she would survive this place, then? An eye for an eye, a life for a life.

Who could she even trust now, knowing how far they’d all have to go to survive? Yoshiya? Janet? Mari? If any of them were in danger, would they be willing to step on someone else to save their own hides?

Would Ayako be able to not sacrifice someone else?

With a mumble of token politeness, Ayako excused herself and departed for her room. She needed to – to count boxes and bottles, to safeguard what little she had, to think about anything except fires and demons and knives slicked with blood.

As long as she kept this heart beating, she would live. And she would have to be happy with that much.

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ayako is still currently sitting behind her podium and Dying from overexertion, but she does manage to locate her paper and, very sloppily, write out something resembling Kami's name.

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Trial | Red Rust | Ayako (re: Kami, exercises)

“Of course it’s a disgusting, terrible sin. That’s why we can’t just…ignore everything.”

Ayako’s voice was tense with a mixture of disdain, reluctance, and a little bit of fear. She wasn’t even looking up at Kami, focused instead on the floor in the middle of the circle. It was unclear if she just couldn’t look Kami right in the eye as Si-Hoo tried to cajole her because of Ayako’s words, or if she intended to address no single person in particular.

“We can’t just look away. A kid is dead. Another kid is dead. And if we just look away, then someone… any one of us could be next… I-I can’t accept that, y’know? I don’t – want – to execute anyone. But I—”

She shut her mouth tight, not wanting to finish that sentence out loud.

Even morning exhaustion wasn’t enough to keep her feeling numb anymore. Her eyes felt dry, as if any moment now the tears would begin and try to alleviate her of that tension. She felt weak in every sense of the word, and Ayako just wanted to get out of this room, get out of this castle, find a safe bed somewhere to sleep the days away in. People were counting on her ideas now, people wanted her to help, but there was only so much she could deal with at once.

A few podiums down, Janet was speaking up, trying to get everyone’s attention on something. She wanted everyone to…join in on the exercises?

“…Eh, me?”

Yes, you. You’re the one who suggested this, Ayako, so you better submit to your own test.

Ayako seemed genuinely surprised that her idea was actually turned back on her. It wasn’t as if she or any other person here was in a position to refuse, though. She had just said it herself: If they dismissed anything important, someone innocent was going to get the axe.

(Did that mean the killer deserved what was coming? Murder was murder, and Ayako believed there were simply individuals that the world would be so much better without. But this entire scenario had shaken many of the rules she took for granted. It was a lot harder when she could be face-to-face with a murder right this moment, for all anyone knew.)

“O…kay. I’ll do what I can. I guess I need to – do exactly what I said?”

She pulled something out of her skirt pocket – a defunct cell phone. For a moment, Ayako set it down onto the top of her podium to keep it safe, then reconsidered and picked it back up. The golden shine hanging off the phone made it clear why she couldn’t just leave it behind. Gripping phone and regalia tight in her hand, she took a few hesitant steps away from her podium, before building up into a jog around the circle.

It was obvious that Ayako wasn’t exactly a speedy person. If anything, she seemed to be consciously trying not to overstress herself. Didn’t that defeat the purpose of this test? Whatever her reason was to pace herself so carefully, however, by the time she reached halfway around the circle it was clear that it had been futile: Ayako had the labored breathing of someone already reaching their upper limits. She continued forward as promised, however, alternating between hurried steps and light jogs to try and extend her energy just…a little…longer…

And she still had to do some jumps at the end, didn’t she?

“Do I… Am I…”

She tried to speak when she reached her podium again, hand gripping the top to keep her steady, but there was no chance of getting a full sentence out of her panting. Gritting her teeth, she pushed herself back and did a set of jumping jacks, ten in total. Not a high number at all, but judging from the way Ayako abruptly stopped and leaned heavy against her podium, coughing into her fist, this was probably the most anyone was going to get out of her.

(Her chest burned and her heartbeats felt too loud too fast, and she could only pray this farce of a trial would end soon so she could just go to her room and get her broken-ass body back in order.)

For what little it might have been worth to anyone searching for a clue? There was no blood blossoming under her clothes, nor any blood dotting her hand.

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Trial | Madder Rose | Ayako (re: Usami, eyepatch, bandages)

Ayako had considered the risk that checking each other over for injuries would be…invasive. Her gut flopped at the thought of what she herself might have to show if the plan gained support. However, it seemed that the idea of a generalized search – barring what Kabu had already done (and that was uncomfortable for slightly different reasons) – was now dropped in favor of zeroing in on a single suspect.

She stood there indulging in her nervous little quirks (tugged at her ponytail, clipped and unclipped her orange sakura barrette) as watched everyone bear all their attention down on one girl. Hearing someone asking for confirmation on certain things sent prickles across Ayako’s skin. It was getting serious now. People’s lives were on the line, depending on what they all said and did next. Janet thankfully answered first, and Ayako nodded in assent, but…

But that didn’t seem to be slowing down this line of discussion about how to remove an eyepatch, which was now starting to get really awkward. She could feel her own scar itch as Usami spoke of how beautiful it was to overcome the horrors of your past, how courageous it was to survive your traumas when others died forgotten.

“That is… weird. Don’t say it like that. E-Everyone, just… settle down for a minute, okay?”

She could feel her teeth on edge as she tried to figure out the most inoffensive way to tell the others to shut up.

“We shouldn’t—is there a way to check without trying to do…that? Aren’t we supposed to be looking for…”

Ayako twirled her index fingers around each other, imitating the motion of something being rolled up.

“…for medical bandages? Unless it’s a little band-aid or piece of gauze, I don’t think you can hide it under an eyepatch, not comfortably. Do we…happen to have an idea how the killer might’ve been injured, if they were? If… If you bled enough for it to be that noticeable on the ground, then it shouldn’t have healed up much this early, so… So if you ran and did jumping jacks or something, could that reopen the wound? Or hurt you, or something?”

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Trial | Avatar Blue | Ayako (re: Janet, bloody things)

The discussion hit its stride, and Ayako was content to let it build up and flow without another push from her – as content as anyone could be given the circumstances. A few times, she seemed as if she wanted to add a thought to the conversation, but she’d only get as far as silently opening her mouth before stopping and letting someone else speak. Her reactions were dulled, but at least she seemed to be listening. The one thing to finally get a verbal response out of her was—

“Mari-chan!?”

—was that incredibly reckless thing Mari had just done! What was she thinking!? What if it broke!?

…and yet, it made Ayako wonder. But maybe it was too early to think about that.

Now that Ayako had apparently found her voice, it didn’t take her much longer to pick up on what the sporty blonde was saying… and they realized, simultaneously, that not once during their joint investigation did they introduce themselves to each other. Ayako breathed out a little oh and she waited for Janet to finish her thoughts before following up.

“I’m Ayako Itou.  I do, uh, digital illustrations.”

She gestured back at Janet, hoping to corroborate her testimony – especially since the topic of potentially smelling blood on suspects had come up.

“I can confirm. I can confirm we both… checked h-him. Someone with bloody hands might’ve been, ah, moving things around? His mask and his hat had some blood on them… His glove, too, but I think that might have only come from his…wound. From holding the wound, or something…”

At least now it seemed she was more confident with talking to everyone, even if she still had to pause for thought every now and then.

“I don’t know if the… if the murderer’s hands were injured, but one way or another they got bloody. I think. Even the knife handle had blood on it. Like a splatter, or something running down from the blade. Thus the sink… Buuut, they took bandages from the first aid kit, so they themselves could’ve been bleeding too. That means we could…”

…could what? There were a lot of ways to try and check each other for blood and injuries, but no graceful way of actually asking people to subject themselves to it. Apparently Ayako was leaving that dirty business to someone else. How gracious of her. Or maybe she was only trailing off because a certain werewolf was approaching her. snnnnorff.

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Shattered Days | Wallflower | Ayako

Someone had actually gone and done it. A life, sacrificed to improve other lives. The devil had offered someone the elixir to fix all their problems, and all they had to do was cut down the tree and eat its fruit.

Or, something like that. Metaphors were pretty low on Ayako’s priority list when she and the other students were gathered around a bloody corpse. Her stomach was twisting and jumping, and she needed to scream her nerves before she could do anything of use.

By the time she could feel her nerves burning away, there was movement all around her – it seemed that some of the others were trying to make the most of their time, hoping to do… something, anything. Anything that might be able to give this atrocity meaning, anything that might be able to bring closure the story that was cut short so abruptly and violently. Trusting in the other students, Ayako decided to follow alongside one of them.

…

Ayako didn’t return to the ballroom until Toka called out for everyone, revealing a bit of information that had been withheld from them all. Just as they had offered everyone a chance to get back at the one who led them into this situation in the first place, Toka was now offering them a chance to avenge Yukitoshi and make the killer pay. A life for a life for a life, was all that they would ever be allowed to do.

She flinched, even before the mirror drew her in into a farce of a courtroom.

As everyone began to settle in at a podium, Ayako still seemed uncertain with herself, wandering to the nearest stand and leaning onto it. The lull in activity invited exhaustion that was already weighing down on her back and shoulders, but she needed to power through it. At least the energy that radiated from Mari’s voice was contagious, and she could use that to raise her own voice.

“Ah… Do you think they really would do that? After what they… after the devil said that…”

Ayako trailed off, pressing her fingers over her mouth as she tried thinking of something better to say. If someone else could die here, then…!

“…then, did anyone see anything strange last night? Or see anything weird this morning? There was, uh… I saw he had a…”

She was beginning to stammer, shrinking away from the feeling of having too much attention on her at once.

“…a flower petal?”

Well, that sure was a vague-as-hell statement with no detail whatsoever. Maybe it was a bad idea to entrust Ayako with breaking the ice.

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Reflecting Days | 紺桔梗 | Ayako

[ TW: Unreality?? uhh there’s a lot of focus on the dream and also losing track of time within the dream ]

Ayako first dreamed of the color of eggshells.

She had forgotten until now how much she hated how this room looked. It couldn’t be helped, of course – the pale walls looked pristine, like freshly washed clothes or a new tile floor. Ayako figured that this was meant to be reassuring. But she couldn’t help but consider melancholy meanings of white: Condolences, or mourning, or a journey beyond that one could never return from. The green decorations accenting the room promised hope for health and rebirth, but the blinding lights overhead washed everything out, leaving her feeling disoriented even though she couldn’t even stand.

Days blurred together under the fluorescent lights, an enormous weight keeping her pinned down. Faces she had long forgotten tried to tell her about the wonderful news, the horrible news that meant that she and she alone—

Ayako knew, she tried to tell them that she already knew, even though the words never seemed to make it out her dry throat, but somehow they understood the choking noise and shook their heads. Why would you say that, Itou-san, it wasn’t anyone you know – it was someone else, a stranger you never have to think about again, someone else’s child—

The dense weight collapsed onto itself, and Ayako was briefly engulfed by the sound of shrill alarms. The moments blurred together in the chaos as Ayako slipped below the fog again and again, losing hours and even days.  And yet—

And yet, when Ayako finally awakened from the chaos and found herself lying in that off-white room again, she could spy a mess of indigo by her side, smiling and greeting her.

- - -

She woke up for real, to the sound of a child tormenting her.

It was a struggle for Ayako to slide off of the bed and face the day, heaviness settling into every cell of her body. She just lied in bed a little longer, letting the phone ring for almost a full minute before she finally picked up and listened to the demand. With sluggish limbs, she did what little she could of her morning routine before venturing off into the unknown.

The demon brat sneered as they confirmed that it hadn’t just been Ayako who had been dreaming. How did it feel, knowing what could have happened? How did it feel, being able to see her face again?

Beautiful, honestly.

Ayako looked ready to cry.

So, this was what the little devil wanted. It wasn’t enough that someone had already sold their souls to them. Now they were extending deals to the rest of the class, trying to make the whole lot of them sinners. And damned if it didn’t feel like it was working.

Because – because, when she got down to it, it felt the same as it was before. Sacrifice one person to save others. A life for a life for a life.

She laid a hand across her chest, feeling quickened breaths and a pulse underneath her palm. This was exactly what the devil wanted. Ayako kept trying to cut down this ugly feeling with rational thought: How would the logistics of this even work? Ayako would change, inside and out. So many people she’d never even spoken to would have to change.

She tried to think rationally, but the memory of a smile darkened the edges of her mind.

Ayako grabbed the nearest object she could reach, the top pancake of the stack a beleaguered servant had been holding. Crushing it in her grip, she took a single angry bite of it, just to try and distract herself with the unease that flooded her over so blatantly defying her routine. Good. Maybe if she could feel shame about mushing a perfectly good pancake in her fist, she wouldn’t have to keep thinking about all the other ideas threatening to run wild in her head.

(She would later come to regret this lapse in judgement, finding out just how stubbornly syrup would cling to her skin.)

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Reflecting Days | Bleeding Heart | Ayako

[ TW: Emetophobia ]

Ayako had her reasons to avoid standing right in the middle of a crowd, but tailing them from behind cut the edge off of that anxious feeling of too many bodies surrounding her. She lagged behind to look at the vacated cells – where had those troublesome shadows gone? The relentless cacophony was a more urgent problem, however, and Ayako followed the group into the library. Abruptly, the noises stopped, and the group was left holding their breaths in anticipation for…something. A haunted dustpan to elope with the broom, or another mirror spirit to speak cryptically, or…

It was not surprising that the teasing voice of a child was enough to startle one of the students into lashing out. In that instant, a number of thoughts flashed across Ayako’s mind – he looked familiar, she hadn’t she seen him in videos online? – the parasol broke so easily against the bookcase, it couldn’t have been strong to begin with – and the kid was collapsing now, not out of defense or fear or anger, they were falling, clutching at their chest, and suddenly a molten feeling of horror and revulsion jumped straight into Ayako’s throat—

She was still struggling not to choke on sour fire as Akihito hit the floor and did not come back up. At once, that acid burned throughout her core, eating through veins that carried her hammering pulse, and settling into her gut. Ayako was trying to speak now, or gasp, or cry, or do something more than stand there and listen to the taunts of the child who was now chuckling over their predicament. They mentioned something about regalia, and Ayako’s eyes flicked over to the broken parasol. Her mind filled with gold and butterflies and rhinestones and blue and – and as her sight swept over the boy on the floor once again, she was struck by how unfair it all seemed, because kids weren’t supposed to—

(They did, and often did so suddenly and inexplicably. It was an unfortunate reality of being mortal, and she knew that. But watching someone go down so quickly was utterly surreal, even without that little brat standing on top of him, desecrating a body not even cold yet.)

Which brought her to another pressing matter: The brat. The brat who was standing there so irreverent to the fact that a kid just died; the little brat with horns and teeth too sharp to be human; the little demon who was saying that it was all happening for a reason. It was all part of a deal with the devil, a wish to be paid for with the price of blood. The boy dead on the floor was not to be the last of them. The rest had to carry out the rest of the work themselves. They needed to… Ayako needed to…

She couldn’t remember.

She fell through the looking glass and landed before the stage

and as she watched the tale about a sick child who couldn’t even leave his bed and a talented child who sacrificed his own happiness for his friend

all she could think about was—

- - -

“How unlucky can you get, Aya-chan?”

- - -

When the world returned, Ayako flinched instinctively at the brightness of the lights. Spending too much time in darkened halls had already left an impact on her, and she needed to take a moment for her eyes to adjust. Her vision cleared just before the prince began speaking out to them all, attempting a little too late to calm everyone down and dissuade them of everything the little demon had told them. But if he was right about that, then why wasn’t Akihito standing among them, healthy and alive?

(Where was his body, where did he go, they needed to find him and help him get home and let his parents and friends get to see him one more time and god it would hurt for them to see the body but it would be so much worse if they never got to see him again and bring him to rest—)

Edel left with little else to offer the group but the company of animated plushes, and it took all of Ayako’s nerve not to shout when yet another person spoke up. But surely everyone left was going to be much more cautious about not breaking anything irreplaceable…right?

Seeing the girl in the mirror brought only the slightest comfort to Ayako, and only because of their earlier conversation. It didn’t mean she had any reason to trust in Evangeline now, but – but at least she, of all the beings they had met since waking up – at least she had said—

“Eva—!”

But just as suddenly as she had appeared, Evangeline vanished. No time to interrogate her.

Ayako was never a fan of crowds, and even as she stood among her distressed classmates, she could feel an uncomfortable churn in her stomach again. This time, there was no more fire, the sour burn having already hollowed her out from within. All she was left with was the feeling of loneliness, as if she could sink into the darkness once more, right here – and not one soul would try to grab her hand.

…When had Ayako started tearing up? It shouldn’t have come as a surprise: A boy was dead, and all they had been able to do was stand back and watch him. Ayako thought of blue and wondered if it had been like this back then, too. How many people just stood there watching …?

She rubbed the heel of her palm against her eye, not caring what it did to her eyeshadow. Ayako felt like she owed an apology to somebody, but she didn’t know how to say so, or for what.

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Prologue | A Light In The Darkness | Ayako (attn: Mari)

The most distressing part of this whole experience was the lack of control Ayako felt over her own state. Every encounter opened with questions, and the few answers she got in return were vague and unhelpful. Ayako didn’t fare well under unfamiliarity, and the more expeditions she set out on with other people, the more wary she grew of her surroundings.

It didn’t surprise her in the least how draining all of this was. There were only so many disgruntled spirits she could handle in the span of a few hours, and stressing over them was only going to burn her out even quicker. Ayako needed to get away from them… but where to go? With so few rooms accessible to her, she found herself retreading old ground again and again.

Ayako was resting in the living areas (again), lying down on the bottom bunk of one of the beds. The smell that seeped so deeply into the fabric was… disconcerting, but Ayako couldn’t find the energy or willpower to get off of the mattress. She was going to become one with this piece of crap bed, she supposed. ~Oh well.~

She held her arm straight up above her, holding her defunct phone. The screen remained dark as ever no matter how many buttons she pressed, and she couldn’t even check the time. It didn’t matter so much right this moment, but… but Ayako didn’t know if she could keep time on her own. It wouldn’t be a problem if her sleep schedule was consistent, but given how the hours could slip by her so easily at night, she didn’t think relying on her own broken internal clock was a good idea. Someone here had to have a watch, she kept telling herself, but somehow she couldn’t quite believe in that.

Ayako continued to stare at her phone, though she soon lost focus instead began to study play of shadow and light in this tiny alcove – especially the lights. Now Ayako was certain the golden shimmer she kept seeing wasn’t merely a trick of candlelight, but something innate to objects that had never glowed before. And she frowned. Why this, of all things? Why change this? She had spent years trying to keep it in good condition, to the point where she’d gone months hiding it in her dresser instead of having to display it every day…

Something in the atmosphere of the room shifted, and Ayako relaxed her arm and set it at her side, sitting up to look around. Almost immediately, she was able to single out the bright colors that stood in cheerful defiance to the bleakness of the room. Was that Mari again?

Ayako scooted to the edge of the mattress, unsure if she should call out for her. Was she looking for anything in particular, or just looking for rest? Then again, maybe it was a good idea for people to come here and claim resting places – if it really did come down to them having to actually spend a night here.

“…Kanou-san!”

In the end, the need to be polite won out. She had to make sure others were holding up under the situation, of course, although somehow she got the feeling Mari was doing very well for herself.

“Have things been good lately?”

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Wiosna | Ayako | Prologue

Ayako’s first reaction was that of subdued panic, tempered only by the slow ticking in her brain. It took her a few minutes too long to begin processing the world around her, but not even the array of flowers and vines could calm her once information began clicking together. She was here, wherever here was supposed to be, and not anywhere she had expected to awaken in. Instead of a bed or even a train seat, she was here sitting on the floor, still too overwhelmed to move from her spot.

She couldn’t stay down here forever, of course. Sluggishly, Ayako lifted herself off the floor and stood up, gaze sweeping over the overgrown foliage. She couldn’t stop herself from silently mouthing a thought about the sight of nature rooted into old stone – “good aesthetics” – but this didn’t seem like the best time to get lost in appreciating architecture. Ayako caught sight of a shiny object standing tall in the darkness, illuminated by the scant light. A mirror!

Drawn to the light, she approached the mirror, pausing as she realized the image reflected back to her did not seem to change apart from room angle. The surface looked clean and clear, so it wasn’t as if it was too dirty to reflect her figure… Ayako was tempted to grab the mirror and try moving it around to see what happened, but a second glint of light, gold in color, caught her attention. She knelt down to pick it up for a better look, and…

…how had this gotten detached from her phone? How had it gotten lost? A horrible electric feeling grew dense in her gut – how could she possibly have ever… what kind of person would she be if she had lost…

Ayako clasped it to her chest, heart already fluttering. This was not a good place to be right now. This was not a good mind to be in right now.

Standing up once more, Ayako took one more fruitless glance around the room before pushing her charm into her pocket – thank goodness her mother had found the time to sew pockets into it. Praying that maybe this time the charm would stay secure, she moved on and approached the door. Past the threshold was a much larger room, and for a moment it felt like her first gasp of fresh air. This soon gave away to a perturbed sigh, however, once Ayako realized she was suddenly facing over two dozen pairs of eyes. And now there was a whole new nervous feeling in her stomach to contend with. Good! Great!

Ayako tried not to make the first move, just watching and listening and observing for a moment. Some people were already indignant over this whole scenario and ready to cause a scene, others were trying to take control and stop a mob from forming, and Ayako hoped she wasn’t the only one defaulted to standing back and waiting for direction.

“Uuu. I d-don’t… Are we, er…stranded?”

An odd choice of words, and a rather morbid set at that. Surely Ayako’s contribution to the discontent would be acknowledged and appreciated.

At any rate, she didn’t think standing around completely useless was going to make the situation any less tense. There was only so much patience Ayako had for crowds this large, and she was inching away from the door she had emerged from, eyeing for any possible escape routes to take on her own.

(…but speaking of doors, what happened to the one she just came out of? It had been right there behind her…)

[shslillustriousvn-blog]

tobioshinohara replied to your post: Thread Tracker

asia we should finally thread For Real…we could even 3-person if u want??

YE... which also reminds me that i can also do threads (of any kind) with 3+ people!

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Thread Tracker

ohhh noooo i got so wrapped up in sleep i forgot to do any ask memes

oh well

anyway THREADS. I CAN DO THOSE.

PUBLIC

Mari

PRIVATE

None yet

UNDECIDED

Yoshiya

Hit me up if you want anything! I can do public threads, google doc threads, IMing threads if such communications are available, etc! I might be asleep during game start, though.

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who this

intro

Hello~! I'm Asia! I've been RPing in DROC games on and off for a couple of years now -- other characters I've played include Manolo Yamauchi (DA4), Kenichi Kagata (PI and DA5), and Mei / Izumi Meiki (SOD2).

But the first character I played in a DR game was Ayako Itou, who's returned now for another shot at murdergames! She is the SHSL Visual Novel Illustrator. What does she illustrate? Everything! Ayako does character sprites, backgrounds, CG artwork, gallery goodies, anything that isn’t the GUI.

You may remember her from her debut in Doubt Academy 3, in which she got murdered first, inadvertently got the Mastermind killed in a mistrial over said murder, and then fell in love with him because clearly her true title was SHSL Bad Luck. I consider the Ayako of Regalis Caveat to be her Wave 1.5 - mostly the same on the surface, but with some major alterations. And much better writing in which I bury all the terrible things I expressed with DA3 Ayako and never speak of it again. My apologies to everyone who saw some of my worst writing then.

I. do not have Ayako’s new sprites yet so until then, here’s a couple of highly edited Dreamselfies and then a 2014 sprite.

As for things I'd appreciate being tagged, they're...? Not exactly things I would expect to come up, since it mostly applies just to IRL/realistic images, but it'd be appreciated nonetheless. They include: Cockroaches, bird death / bird abuse (graphic writing included; food and poultry is fine), and trypophobia (when it involves skin/flesh). Since those last two are kind overly specific, blanket warnings are fine (e.g. tagging as animal death, or tagging all images that send to set off trypophobia) since they make tagging easier for everyone... ;w;

recognition

Ayako's influence is limited pretty much entirely to the Internet, and even then it would mostly only be blogging, digital art, and fandom circles that would recognize her. Until recent years, she's only ever been known as ♛ira, an illustrator that started as a young fanartist for various popular shows and manga. Over the years she branched out into doing art commissions, which turned into helping do the artwork for small indie visual novels and, eventually, Laika.

Laika is a mystery visual novel written by Kiyoshi Nishiyuki (西雪清) and Nina Hoshida (ニーナ・星田), childhood friends who imagined the story as adolescents and refined it as adults. The game, which features the first human colony on Mars, became renowned for its focus on character-driven pathos -- a recurring theme is confronting the ghosts of the past, whether it's the literal encounters with the supernatural, the personal memories of the lives they left behind on Earth, or the forgotten history of crimes long passed. In present time, official translations of the game into different languages are in progress, with many established fan translations still floating around.

Where Ayako comes in is that she ended up doing most of the artwork on her own, after the only other illustrator had to drop out of the project. Though she was hired specifically for her character art, almost all of the backgrounds and CG scenes can also be attributed to her. Even though she was only credited as ♛ira, the sheer volume of praise and offers that filled her inbox encouraged her start putting her real name out there and become a professional artist. She still works with a variety of commissions, but her primary source of fame continues to be long-term projects like visual novels.

So, in short, your character might know of her if they have any reason to be especially interested in digital artists and/or game artists.

Beyond that, she has lived in Hayashima, Okayama for all her life, so while she still doesn’t have much of a presence there in real life, perhaps she’d know of anyone else in the prefecture...?

shippable?

Ayako is indeed shippable! However, she is very reluctant about serious and/or long-term relationships, for reasons. (She conflates the two, for the record -- "I love you" implies wanting a future together.) She's willing to communicate in detail about how to proceed with a relationship, but... Well. It'll be quite the talk.

(Unhealthy relationship discussion under cut, the short version is I reserve the right to end a ship if it does more harm to Ayako than good.)

I'd also like try and avoid the situation I had in DA3, in which I slammed her right into a ship because it seemed cute and fun at the time, without really thinking about if she'd even get along with the other person (who had up to this point been dismissing and manipulating her constantly). Basically I don't want a repeat DA3′s ending, where Ayako remained trapped in an unhealthy relationship out of guilt of what might happen to her partner if she put her own wellbeing above his for once and left him.

Sooooo, uh. since this is supposed to be her Second Chance At Happiness, I may decide to withdraw Ayako from a developing ship if things start to go in a very bad direction. Life is short, and even shorter in a killing game! Spend it with the people who truly care about you!

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Once you’ve stepped into the mirror you must never look back. The world you knew is gone, and all that remains is what you hold dear to your heart. You shouldn’t ever let it go…do you understand?

Welcome, the cast of Regalis Caveat!

Adara Chaikin - SHSL Polyglot Akihito Toujou - SHSL Net Idol Ayako Itou - SHSL Visual Novel Artist Ayame Yoshida - SHSL Bonsai Gardener Daishin Tanaguchi - SHSL Dollmaker Hanasuke Hisamatsu - SHSL Scoubidou Maker Haruaki Usami - SHSL Caretaker Hinata Fukumoto - SHSL Clay Sculptor  Janet Lynn - SHSL Windsurfer Kabu - SHSL Werewolf  Kami Okurimono - SHSL Winemaker Katsunosuke Matsubayashi - SHSL Ikebana Artist Katsurou Kon - SHSL Fan Maker Kuroi Kuroki - SHSL Nihonga Artist Lily Love - SHSL Talk Radio Host Sumire - SHSL Horror Novelist Mari Kanou - SHSL Amekaji Model  Masaharu Nakai - SHSL Teuthologist Naythan Shirokage - SHSL Airsoft Player Noriko Suzuki - SHSL Gossip Columnist Sachiko Mori - SHSL Badminton Player Seiki Chiba - SHSL Tea Ceremony Practitioner  Si-hoo Lee - SHSL Biographer Tobio Sinohara - SHSL Ocularist Ume Mori - SHSL Recording Artist Yoshiya Moon - SHSL Folklorist Yukitoshi Nishimura - SHSL Internet Historian

Thank you all so much for applying! Please have your blogs ready as soon as possible!

[shslillustriousvn-blog]

oh  i like this

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