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The girl and the glass statue

There once existed a statue in the central park of a small town. With delicate and careful glasswork, it was of a lady holding an instrument, her mouth slightly agape in the manner of a singer mid-performance. Several flowers and vines of all kinds surrounded her, painted in vibrant colors in contrast to the completely transparent Women. The painted mud of the flowers and vines gave such an impression of priceless jewels that greedy eyes lingered long on them—until they realized the deception. But it could be considered a good fortune, for no one thought the statue worthy of being stolen from. No matter how delicate and beautiful, it was just some fragile glass and mud at the end. 

Nobody knew how it got there, and nobody seemed to care. After being subjected to the curiosity and entertainment of the residents for a few weeks, everyone eventually forgot about it and went on with their lives. All but the little girl. 

The children coming to play in the park always found her sitting in front of the statue, chin on her folded knees, staring intently at the lady. Just like the sculpture, she too surrounded an air of mystery but since she was a human capable of making her own decisions, no curiosity was attracted by her. She just sat there all day long, offering companionship as a fellow statue to the original one. She too felt unreal, with almost transparent, thin silver hair and light blue irises. Completing her look with her ghastly pale skin and unmoving lips, the locals dubbed her the "daughter of the statue lady" and told their kids to stay away from the girl. But the curiosity sometimes gets too overwhelming, particularly for the young ones. They are bound to do the things they are kept from and so, from time to time, one or another, they could be found questioning the girl. Not surprisingly, what they were met with was total indifference. Her pupils never quivered, lips refusing to depart, and ears deaf to all but one question. 

"Why do you keep staring at the glass lady?" A little boy asked her once, surrounded by his friends, forcefully walking up to her with slow and hesitant steps upon losing a game and being punished to do the forbidden. 

"It sings to me " The girl moved her head, facing the blond boy, and answered him in a dreamlike voice. Though it was no louder than a wind's whisper, Emjil still understood. Even though he was dressed in multiple layers of cotton and wool, he still felt shivers run down his spine as the voice entered his ears like icy venom. 

"What does it sing to you?" Despite his shaking legs warning to give out any moment, he found himself asking her another question. She shook her head slowly with her eyes closed.

"It's not words, it's not something you can understand."

"She sings what she feels" The girl looked ahead, as if looking straight through the boy. She spoke in such whispers that you'd think she was talking to her own self.

"Her feelings?" The oblivious boy tilted his head. 

"Hmm" she turned her head back, staring at the statue again. Little Emjil ran back to his friends, who greeted him with sneers and snickers, asking him what the "Witch" talked about. 

It was a short encounter, but enough to leave an everlasting impression on Emjil, who had been mesmerized by the otherwordly beauty of the girl. Huh, what an exaggerated lie, to call such an angel a witch.

What he did not know was that even such a beauty could be tarnished by vile emotions. And so obvious was the disbelief in his eyes when he next saw the girl, a few days later, with her face full of wrinkles, and the tear-stained lashes that hosted two fearful, quivering snowflakes. Her every characteristic flowed in an opposite current, with shaking lips, clenched fists, and a stiffened neck. Emjil’s gaze impulsively followed hers and widened with realization as they landed on the object of her despair.

Someone had hurled a stone at the statue. Her statue. And it was bleeding. 

The boy took a few steps back in horror as he watched the crimson blood gush out of the glass head that had shattered from the temple and now stained the transparent glass and the garlands red. Just as he did, the girl took a few steps ahead, rushing to catch a falling shard in her bare hands. The tears that escaped her eyes did not go missed by the terrified boy.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't cry. I'll fix you up. Please don't cry" The girl's desperate cries echoed over the freezing park, silencing even the naughty kids who had been making fun of everything a minute ago. Perhaps one of them was the culprit behind this tragedy because they all scrambled to escape. The girl leaped at her treasure, the flakes of glass piercing through the delicate and soft skin upon contact. Even the blood could not be told apart as it spilled and mixed in with the already splattered one. Using the fluid as gauze to glue back the pieces, that was the day the girl began her neverending journey.

It was all she could be seen doing now. With time, her cries got quieter, her eyes dryer, and the blood less fresh. Once, at an inquiry from the town's chief, she even displayed hope for better, claiming that it was 'Near completion' and her mother would 'soon stop crying and start singing again'. She also requested the townspeople to ‘just have a little more patience with them.'

The boy left the town that day. He never even got to hear the end of the girl he once spoke to. On his deathbed as an elderly and well-respected sculpturer, he uttered a quiet prayer, his last wish and the only unfulfilled one left, to the gods above. He hoped to see the girl happy with her mother in the afterlife at least.

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i had all and then most of you some and then none of you 😭😭😭😭

fuck it i'm drawing odasaku and dazai angst with that fuckass lyrics i hope y'all suffer

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Anyflip links to complete bsd light novels

dazai’s entrance exam - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/vpeu/

dark era - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/pcxl/

untold origins - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/ghzd/

55 minutes - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/ppxc/

dead apple - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/wvkq/

beast - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/vaqg/

fifteen - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/msym/

stormbringer - https://anyflip.com/gxcnw/gbxf/

i got a hold of these while z library was still in it’s full glory and thought i’d share! the translation on these is by yen press, if you want a site where you can download them dm me, send any complaints to my ask box :3 i also recommend checking out @/bsd-bibliophile’s website for fan translations 

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My Thoughts on How Oda Views Dazai

I know we all like to quote Oda's descriptions about Dazai, but I think we do also need to remember part of Dark Era was Oda realising his opinions on Dazai had been clouded by bias and distance, and he changes them towards the end of the novel. There is a difference in the way Oda talks about Dazai when he's decribing his reputation and when he's witnessing Dazai first hand. Oda isn't certain how he views Dazai for a lot of the novel.

(Under the cut because I have no self control and this got long)

Oda's early descriptions of Dazai focus mostly on his reputation and don't really tell us how Oda actually sees him:

'We had a saying in the Port Mafia: "The great mistfortune for Dazai's enemies is that they are Dazai's enemies." If he wanted to, he could even could even have a picnic in the middle of a firefight. Dazai was practically born to be in the mafia.' - Bungou Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

This is Oda's opinion being influenced by Dazai's reputation, by the exploits Dazai tells him about and the common gossip from other members of the mafia. Often in these quotes Oda will refer to Dazai as a 'man' an adult.

But later on, Oda describes how he sees Dazai in the moment, as they work together:

'Dazai's expression as he placed a finger on his forehead and approached the enemy-that of a child about to burst into tears-remained burned into my eyes.' - Bungou Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

It's in these moments that Oda describes Dazai as a boy or a child, because being exposed to the reality of Dazai reminds him of how young Dazai is. It's burning into his eyes because it shocks him, his two views of Dazai are waring in his head. In the beginning he's a 'man easily mistaken for a boy', by the end Dazai is just a boy.

But if they were the friends, why does Oda's opinions on Dazai keep getting so mixed up?

It's simple they were friends, but their friendship was maintained with conditions.

Oda states that his friendship with Ango and Dazai, their meet ups at Lupin only worked the way they did because they kept strict boundaries with each other. Something I think people tend to overlook a lot.

'We often gathered at this bar as if we were trying to avoid something. Then we'd shoot the breeze under the guise of "communication" until the dead of night.' - Bungou Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

'The reason why Ango and I were able to be by his side was that we understood the solitude that surrounded him, and we never stepped inside it no matter how close we stood. But in that moment, I kind of regretted not stepping in and invading that solitude.' - Bungou Stray Dogs, Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era

They talk about work, they talk about nonsense, but they do not talk about their personal lives. There's an unspoken rule that they keep things light and because of this it means they couldn't be completely honest with each other. It brought them together AND kept them at a distance. (Dancing around your feelings and not giving away how much you're struggling until it leads to destructive behaviours is a major theme in The Flowers Of Buffoonery by Dazai Osamu btw)

It meant they kept things from each other too.

Dazai was not meant to know about Oda's orphans. When he showed up at the restaurant, that was a moment of tension. Dazai wasn't supposed to be there, he wasn't just surprising a friend, Oda had kept this side of himself separate from the mafia. That includes Dazai. There's a brief moment of tension where Oda doesn't know how to react, whether Dazai is about to become a threat or not. Even though he's there to help, Dazai plays into this for a moment, joking that he might recruit the orphan's into the mafia.

To Oda this just affirms Dazai as someone whose dangerous. (Though I think that's more apparent in the anime than the novel) They weren't supposed to know about each other's personal lives, but Dazai dug into them anyways, he knew about Oda's orphans and he knew about Ango being a spy. He doesn't reflect on the fact Dazai kept those secrets because they were his friends. He might have been digging where he wasn't supposed to, but Dazai never betrayed Oda. I don't think he even fully processes how far Dazai went to keep the orphans safe by moving them to a safehouse.

I've said before that Oda saw him as a child and I do believe that, but I believe he also forgot that for a while. By the end of Dark Era he's reminded how young and lost Dazai is. In his dying moments he tries to give him guidence because he realises he failed Dazai. (And by extention, Ango.)

By creating those borders between themselves, it was easier to stop seeing Dazai for the boy he was and start letting his reputation warp Oda's view of him. Dazai was his friend, but he was also one of the most dangerous people in the mafia, he was a boy but also the man he complained about work with over drinks. They played silly pranks together and neither of them flinched when disposing of piles of bodies. Dazai was someone he knew and trusted, but also some one to be weary of trusting.

At the beginning of Dark Era he says Dazai was born for the mafia, by the end of it he acknowledges that's only true because he was never given the change to be something else.

Oda had to be guided away from killing with the dream of becoming a writer. As he's dying attempts to fulfil a similar role for Dazai too. He's regretful he didn't do it sooner, that they weren't closer with one another from the start.

They were friends, Oda understood Dazai, but they were also strangers and Oda's views of Dazai were just as fallible as everyone else's. Dazai spent that whole book growing more and more desperate to save a friend that was out of his reach to begin with.

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Fyodor and the Devil: Analysis of Fyodor's motives and role in the narrative

Asagiri has stated that he based Fyodor not on Dostoyevsky the author but on a specific scene from one of his books The Brothers Karamazov where Ivan Karamazov confronts “the devil” in his room.

(It's a really good book, you should read it if you have time. Also. fun fact, Fyodor and the devil wear the same hat, “His soft fluffy white hat was out of keeping with the season.”)

Having read the book and gone over this scene, I realized that this could be used to find out a lot more about Fyodor as a character than we see in the story, including a potential glimpse at his real motivations.

A bit of context for the scene. Ivan Kramazov is a clever but deeply trouble man who has struggling with the concept of God and rationalising him with the cruelty of humanity, at one point while very sick, Ivan starts seeing a man in his room who claims to be “the devil”. Their conversation is a fascinating look at morality and why evil exists in the world, and if you look at it closely it reveals a lot about the role of a “villain” in a story.

This line from “the devil” is really interesting to me, and seems to explain a lot about Fyodor’s character, as well as align perfectly with how Asagiri has described Fyodor in interviews:

Before time was, by some decree which I could never make out, I

was predestined 'to deny' and yet I am genuinely good-hearted and not at all inclined to negation.

'No, you must go and deny, without denial there's no criticism and what would a journal be without a column of criticism?' 

Without criticism it would be nothing but one 'hosannah.' But nothing but hosannah is not enough for life, the hosannah must be tried in the crucible of doubt and so on, in the same style. But I don't meddle in that, I didn't  create it, I am not answerable for it. Well, they've chosen their scapegoat, they've made me write the column of criticism and so life was made possible.

Basically the devil is saying that he was created because without evil then good means nothing, if everything was perfect then nothing would happen or change, life couldn’t exist, so he was forced to be that evil even though he never wanted to be.

This is so similar to how Fyodor is described in the BSD exposition 2020:

Fyodor is the antagonist, he is the villain of the story, that is the role he plays. This explains why he chooses to commit so many atrocities in the name of  “following God's plan”. It even connects to his line in The Dead Apple, and his ability name. He is both crime and punishment, as “crime” or sin originates with the devil, but it's also the devil who punishes sinners.

(I mean the title of the episode he is introduced in is literally “My Ill Deeds Are the Work of God” by committing evil acts he is fulfilling God's purpose for him.)

And if Fyodor is really based on “the devil” it's very likely he also either does or used to wish for release from this role that was assigned to him, but he knows that he cannot stray from his path or the story will cease to exist. My evidence for Fyodor wanting to be free of his mission is just one interaction, when he kills Karma.

Look at Fyodor's expression here, this is the only time in the entire series where we see him look truly sad. This isn't an act, there is no one there for him to trick, he simply says a quiet prayer for the life of a boy who's only purpose was to suffer and die.

This next part of “the devils” speech actually seems to fit very well for Dazai, it's interesting since he is the narrative foil to Fyodor and clearly is a very similar character.

We understand that comedy; I, for instance, simply ask for annihilation. No, live, I am told, for there'd be nothing without you.

If everything in the universe were sensible, nothing would happen. There would be no events without you, and there must be events. So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what's irrational because I am commanded to.

For all their indisputable intelligence,men take this farce as something serious, and that is their tragedy. They suffer, of course... but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy, but tedious. But what about me? I suffer, but still, I don't live. I am x in an indeterminate equation. I am a sort of phantom in life who has lost all beginning and end, and who has even forgotten his own name. 

This ties perfectly into Dazai and Fyodor’s debate on the nature of God in the sky casino arc.

Dazai here points out that it's not perfection and harmony that make the world move, it's the irrational, it's the foolishness and stupidity of humans who charges into life making a million mistakes but always finding ways to fight on through it. Here Dazai and Fyodor represent the conflicting sides of “the devil” with Fyodor embodying his mission to drive the world and Dazai embodying his secret love for, and wish to join, humanity.

“I love men genuinely, I've been greatly calumniated! Here when I stay withyou from time to time, my life gains a kind of reality and that's what I like most of all. Yousee, like you, I suffer from the fantastic and so I love the realism of earth. Here, with you, everything is circumscribed, here all is formulated and geometrical, while we have nothing but indeterminate equations! I wander about here dreaming. I like dreaming. Besides, on earth I become superstitious. Please don't laugh, that's just what I like, to become superstitious. I adopt all your habits here: I've grown fond of going to the public baths, would you believe it?

And I go and steam myself with merchants and priests. What I dream of is becoming incarnate once for all and irrevocably in the form of some merchant's wife weighing eighteen stone, and of believing all she believes. My ideal is to go to church and offer a candle in simple-hearted faith, upon my word it is. Then there would be an end to my sufferings.”

“"Why not, if I sometimes put on fleshly form? I put on fleshly form and I take the consequences. Satan sum et nihil humanum a me alienum puto."*

* I am Satan, and deem nothing human alien to me.”

This piece from the devil feels like it could be a description of Dazai’s character, his wish above all else to find happiness and love as a human despite believing he is a demon. Both Dazai and Fyodor have strong ties to the Devil, both of them are often described as demonic or inhuman, with emphasis placed on the darkness of their souls and the isolation they feel due to their minds.

But the difference between them is how they dealt with it, Fyodor chose to embrace it and fully commit to his role in the story as the ultimate evil for the greater good, but Dazai has always shown a fasciation with humans and has spent his life trying to connect to them and find meaning in his existence.

Finally, let's look at what we can learn about Fyodor’s motivation. Fyodor is the villain, he is the final obstacle the protagonist has to overcome, he is the driving force behind so much of Atsushi’s life and the reason so much of the series has played out at all. He sent Shibusawa to torture Atsushi as a child, he was an informant to the guild who put the bounty on Atsushi making the mafia turn on him, he was involved in the guild invasion, and obviously he was the master mind behind cannibalism and Decay of Angles.

If he is aware of his position as the antagonist, then he also is probably aware Atsushi is the protagonist, he knew he was the “envy of all ability users” after all, so he knows Atsushi has some significance to the world as a whole.

Atsushi is also the “guide to the book” which is seemingly Fyodor’s end goal, so even though Fyodor doesn’t seem to be focused on Atsushi, he has been indirectly influencing his whole journey up to this point. This also explains why Fyodor is only moving actively now, because the protagonist has appeared and his role as the villain can finally be fulfilled and he, like “the devil” can finally get the “annihilation” he asked for. Hence, Fyodor’s true goal is to erase himself from the narrative.

There is actually quite a lot of evidence for this. The obvious part is that Fyodor wants to rid the world of ability users while he himself is an ability user, he cannot exist in his perfect world. 

Then there’s the fact that in the Dead Apple, Fyodor calls himself “crime” if Fyodor is “crime” or “sin” then a world free of sin would not contain him at all

Even when Fyodor talks about sin, he says how humans are easily manipulated into killing each other, while he constantly manipulates characters into killing each other, he is the cause of the sin he fights.

A really strong bit of evidence is this interview with Asagiri and Harukawa

Not only does Asagiri reiterate Fyodors role as the person who moves the story, Harukawa specifically mentions that Fyodor might be trying to create a world without ability users because he thought it was a “bad thing to do” aka the action a villain would take that would lead to a hero stopping them.

“Dos-san is the biggest villain in the story so far, but I have continued to draw him with spaced out eyes that are neither righteous nor evil for a long time. The only time I drew his eyes completely white was when he said he would create a world without skill users. It was because, in reality, we would decide what is evil or not by our own scales, but I wasn't sure if he himself was doing it because he thought that was a bad thing to do.”

This also connects to how Fyodor was able to understand Gogol when no one else could, Gogol is chooses to fight against the way the world is to prove to himself that he truly is free. Fyodor, who is bound to play a part in a narrative, would understand that feeling and that longing to be truly free.

To be clear, I don’t think that Fyodor is really a good person whose just been trapped in an awful position against his will, we see many times that Fyodor revels in his cruelty and enjoys killing and torturing others. Its the same with “the devil” in the book, although he hates the job he was given, he tells Ivan stories of the people he’s corrupted and seems very proud of himself for it.

My personal interpretation is that the sadistic zelot personality Fyodor displays is a mixture of a mask and a coping mechanism, kind of similar to Yosano developing a sadistic side to help her deal with the guilt of half killing people in order to heal them. I think it makes sense that after centuries of cruelty and manipulation a person would become detached and stop really caring about the lives he destroys.

This analysis is partially unfinshed but I wanted to post it now and see what other people think of it.

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Mc's BFF In coming of age. I might be in for giving LOTS of advice to my immature BFF going through puberty

AFTER VOTING, click here to see what genre you've landed in.

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funny things and general things i love about the BSD dub:

Aku's VA making him sound like a whiny bitch

Dazai's singing voice 😬

"Next time you won't be so lucky!"

"You're a weretiger, grow some were-balls!"

RANPO CALLING POE ED (this one's just cute)

Adding to this: DEAR RANPO?? OMG

"I've tracked you down, weretiger!" "AKUTAGAWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"You're quite the rough ride" ????

Fyodor's👏Russian👏Accent👏

Chuuya's "You fucked up, Detective Agency!" was actually so hype

The way Aku says "You're too much, weretiger" LIKE PLEASEE

Fukuchi's va making him sound like 20 years younger than he actually is?

Happy Group Counseling Hour

Dazai's little "wow" sounding JUST LIKE OWEN WILSON

Nikolai's "holy shit!"

Sigma's VA actually capturing the character really well?

"Chuuya, come back to me" instead of "come to your senses"

Actually that whole speech was so well done

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Okay but the LOOK on sigma's face says it all

same dazai

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Thinking about Tachihara deciding to stay with the Mafia after everything's over.

Thinking about the government refusing to give him his next monthly surgery since he's no longer a Hunting Dog.

Thinking about him accepting and coming to terms with the fact that he's going to die, and even saying his goodbyes to his friends in the mafia.

Thinking about Hirotsu, Gin, Higuchi, Kouyou, Chuuya, all refusing to let him die like this, and scrambling to find a way to save him.

Thinking about Chuuya and Kouyou threatening the hospitals to give him the surgeries, and Gin and Higuchi sneaking around to find something that could help.

And then it hits them. The solution, which now seems so obvious in hindsight.

Thinking about Chuuya on the phone with the Detective Agency, and of course it's Dazai who picks up the other end.

Thinking about him sitting in the office, head in his hands, as he hears Chuuya asking him to let Yosano go to the Mafia base for a while.

Thinking about Dazai, out of genuine concern for her, refusing to let her go back to the Port Mafia.

Thinking about Yosano being out the door before Dazai even puts the phone down, because it's Michizō Tachihara. This is Shunzen's younger brother, of course she has to help him.

Thinking about Yosano, when she arrives at the PM base, not having to hurt him even a little bit to use her ability, because he's already that far gone, that broken.

Thinking about her sitting by his side, wondering if when he wakes up he's going to hate her for using the same ability on him that killed his brother.

But when Tachihara wakes up, all he can say to the doctor is "thank you," because he genuinely means it. Because of Yosano's ability, he's healed completely. He has no commitment to the Hunting dogs now.

(If i end this with "he's free" is that cringe?)

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I feel we as a fandom don't talk about how pretty Oda Sakunosuke is enough

Cause like

LOOK AT HIM

HE'S SO GORGEOUS

HOLY SHIT

IT PAINS ME EVERY DAY THAT THE ONLY ACTUAL MAIN CHARACTER TO DIE IN THE SHOW WAS THIS DAMN PRETTY

UGH

(+ bonus wan oda bc i love him)

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why am I just now learning that "I prefer the women in my life under 12" is a translation error and mori actually said "I prefer protecting women under 12" or something stupid like that 💀

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BRUH

asgr after writing the bsd volume 1 postscript in exactly the same way as fanfic.net endnotes 10 yrs ago: 🤩👍

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wip

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His freakiness is unmatched

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Can we stop and think about how Atsushi broke Akutagawa's jaw on the second fight? Like, as a direct effect from breaking the Spatial Shield?

Atsushi must absolutely TERRIFY some people, especially in the Port Mafia. He's come out of nowhere, terrorized police enough to get the Armed Detective Agency involved, has an enormous bounty in his head that the Port Mafia hasn't yet collected, and he broke Akutagawa's jaw. He broke Akutagawa's jaw, who was basically untouchable.

Give me my cryptid Atsushi, give me the lower ranks of the Port Mafia, hell, maybe even some of the higher ranks, fearing him.