sicilian-tomato

[sicilian-tomato]

Lovino gripped his phone so tight that, had he been a stronger nation, he might have cracked it. In his head, he imagined snapping the phone (and João's shitty neck) because it made him feel better. He took a slow, strained deep breath through clenched teeth.

Dio, he was getting a tension headache already.

[text] You're a freak. Chi cazzo credi di essere?

He huffed and bounced a leg in irritation, sinking lower and lower into his plush chair.

[text] Don't you have anything better to do than try and fail to get to me? You're just jealous that I'm more attractive and suave than you are. LOL, loser! Cazzo!

Lovino grimaced.

That one just left him open.

Damn it.

@sicilian-tomato continued from: Here

João watches with amusement as the typing bubble pops up and away, flickering like the electricity of faulty wiring... And speaking of faulty wiring, his phone pings as a message finally comes up from the boisterous Italian. He gives a laugh, a single one, sharp and amused as his eyes scan the message. Romano was even easier to rile up than Antonio, and if there was one thing the older man enjoyed it was messing with people.

[Text] you blocked me? Coward.

[Text] I find everything out. Ask Antonio.

He can't help but grin manically as the messages fly off, but surely he wouldn't stop there. He's having too much fun... Even if he will likely have to deal with Antonio for his actions. After all, he had swiped Romano's number right out of his neighbor's phone book... It was almost too easy to find, if he's being honest.

[Text] I'm going to shave you bald like the little rodent you are :) <3

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"I'll never say it to his face, because he'll get a fat head about it, but... America's pizza isn't that bad... sort of. Too cheesy though, and why's the sauce so cheap tasting? Mio dio, I could make this better with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back..." He said, while eating the finest of American cuisine: air fried frozen pizza.

Sometimes, and this was a very rare sometimes, Lovino could tolerate the cheaper, and easiest, food choices he had the energy to deal with preparing. That wouldn't stop him from bitching about it though.

And he'd also chuck it out the nearest window if anyone caught him eating that "garbage."

[sicilian-tomato]

muoio malissimo

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[sicilian-tomato]

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

text message asks // ACCEPTING

Merda... it's this fucking asshole. Where did he get off on texting him out of the blue?! Shouldn't he be texting Spain or something? He should be mature about this. He isn't going to fall for this obvious ploy to get his goat.

He was going to totally ignore the text.

Yup. Totally.

[text] Vaffanculo! I hope you trip and fall and land face-first on a lego so hard that you have a stupid lego brick imprinted on your forehead forever!

He didn't ignore it.

[text] How did you even get this number?! I thought I had you blocked!

[sicilian-tomato]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[sicilian-tomato]

the urge to revive the Old RP etiquette of greeting every new follower just to get the ball rolling is STRONG. but also. is that out of style? is that old fashioned?

im overthinking again because i'm nervous. this is exactly what i do when im dming a game; i stall.

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i just recently started new blogs and yet somehow thats always the hardest thing. smh.

ill reblog some ask memes here bc thats always a nice and easy start lol

[sicilian-tomato]

canon divergent, headcanon heavy LOVINO VARGAS from HETALIA

20+ ONLY due to so many things. Please read the CARRD before interacting.

loved (and loathed) by niko | 30+ | he/him right off the bat... please dont be weird. i mostly made this blog so i can rp with my friends. im not going to touch on WWI, or WWII things, for what ought to be obvious reasons. also not going to go as hard as i normally would for history research bc thats. so much work...

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