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siebenschoen · 2 years

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and I never want to believe (that happiness is something different, something more

@ ao3

fandom: ikemen sengoku

pairing: yukimura x mc x sasuke

tags: pre-relationship

summary:

Kasugayama is plagued by the summer heat, thankfully Sasuke and Mai have a beach (lake) episode planned. Or, alternatively: three silly, goofy friends discover that sometimes a trio is just the right amount of people.

The Kasugayama summers are hot. Unbearably so. Mai spends most of her time in doors, crawling from shadowy place to shadowy place whenever the sun travels further into her hiding places. The summer wardrobe she had sown herself – and had been so excited about in winter, back when sunshine seemed like a long-lost dream and not a constant never ending hell – while airy, doesn’t help much when even existing within the limits of her own skin feels like a punishment. When Mai sleeps, she dreams of Air Conditioning Units and iced tea. Neither of which are currently at her disposal. Or will be for the next three hundred years or so.

She has been hibernating indoors for what feels like years, when she decides that it needs to stop. She is bored. Bored out of her mind. Maybe a few days away from turning into a serial killer bored. Her encloser needs enrichment bored. At this point she feels like she knows the wooden ceiling pattern in her room as well as the great hall by heart and she’s starting to get a really good grip on the one in Sasuke’s room as well. Not a good sign. She could start a new sewing project. And usually she probably would, but – and it pains her to even think so – currently the idea of picking up needle and thread evokes nothing but dread in her. Not only seems the heat to have dried up all her creative energy – she is usually proud to say that she is pretty good at picking up inspiration from even the most unusual sources – but the thought of having any extra fabric draped over her lap while stitching makes her want to dig a deep, and preferably cold, hole to bury herself into.

Nevertheless, Mai needs something to do. Anything to set her mind on. Overwise she might join Kenshin in his… intense obsession with sharp objects. Unfortunately, the heat derives her of any energy to actually be creative and come up with something herself, which is how she finds herself in Sasuke’s quarters… whining. To his credit, Sasuke handles her poorly delivered sob story about dying of boredom with a sincerity and grace that is almost enviable. He sorts the smoke bombs he was working on when Mai dramatically fell through his door into neat little piles in front of him, pushes his glasses up with one finger and gives her a look as she’s sprawled on his floor that makes Mai feel like she’s part of a secret mission. It’s almost enough to make her feel excited despite the heat. “Why don’t we go down to the lake later? It’s fed by springs so the water should be cold enough to cool even you down.” Cold water does sound nice. Really, really nice. Mai tries to sit up while hitting her open hand with her fist. She fails a little with the balance but is positive – from the look of mild concern on Sasuke’s face – that it came across as part of her natural grace and charm. “That’s a great idea! I could pack some lunch and then it will be just like a trip to the beach!”

On her way out of the door she can hear a faint gasp and Sasuke’s awed whisper. “We’ve reached the beach trip episode.”

It’s easy enough to convince the maids of Kasugayama’s kitchen to let her grab a few bites and snacks here and there. They like her well enough, although Mai is convinced, they think her a strange anomaly that can get away with almost too much in front of their lords. But even though Mai is considered to be of significantly higher status, as a personal friend to the lord of the castle – Kenshin’s friendship is a difficult thing to obtain and a baffling thing to hold – she always finds time to chat with them, listen to their complaints, offer up some ramblings of her own and fix up their clothes whenever something needs mending. So, yes, they think her strange, but they still like her despite that. Some, she suspects, harbour even a little motherly concern for her. A young, unmarried woman constantly surrounded by equally unmarried men, some of them known to be notorious flirts – Lord Shingen – yes, to a respectable Sengoku woman Mai probably seems to be constantly dangling on the edge of ruin and therefore in dire need of a bit of care and protection.

Lucky for her, today that protective instinct shows itself in a heaping supply of picnic goodies. She has a bit of a hard time carrying them all down the hallway to the spot where she is supposed to meet up with Sasuke, but that’s fine. The thoughts of cool waters and relaxing shades keep her going. It will be nice to get out of the castle for bit. Kasugayama isn’t exactly a narrow confinement, in fact she has gotten lost on her way more than once. Particularly in her early time here. But there’s only so many times you can lay down to watch the faint wind rustle through the gardens before you get a serious case of cabin fever. Besides she has always loved day trips, back in the future. Unfortunately, they are very unusual here in the Sengoku. Not only because traveling does take a significant amount of time and is related to far more dangers than Mai was ever used to, but also because the concept of self-care and taking time off for yourself hasn’t really reached the popularity she was used to. Mai has just started debating how Instagram influencers would try to sell their relaxing evening with their #favouritebathsuppliesever to the average Sengoku audience, when she feels a weight being lifted from her shoulders. “What armies are you planning on feeding?”, Yukimura’s already slightly irritated voice asks her. “Just the special forces,” she quips back while trying to snatch her picnic bag back. He holds them up higher – just out of her reach – and his usual kind of grumpy facial expression is rounded off with genuine confusion. Mai rolls her eyes at him. “Sasuke and me. We are going down to the lake.” “Oh,” Yukimura says in his infinite wisdom and lowers the bag just enough that she can make another (successful) attempt to grab it. “Alone?” There’s a flicker of… something on his face. He looks almost hurt, which in turn makes Mai feel bad. Very bad. She knows that it can’t always be easy being friends with both Sasuke and her. They have three hundred years of knowledge and stories to share between them, reference that Yukimura can’t possibly understand. And as much as she treasures the familiarity this brings to Sasuke’s and her relationship, she doesn’t want Yukimura to feel left out.

Ever since she arrived in Kasugayama it has always been the three of them. She knows that Sasuke and Yukimura were close even before then, but she can’t help but feel like she nestled herself quite neatly into their dynamic. She loves the bickering and easy camaraderie she has with Yukimura. His friendship brings out her fire. He is so brave and passionate about the things he loves that she can’t help but be so as well. And Sasuke offers comfort that no one else quite can. He understands the path she walked, because he walked it as well. Where Yukimura makes her want to fight, Sasuke keeps her grounded. She needs them, both of them.

Only when Yukimura’s ears start to turn red and his mouth twitches slightly, does Mai realise that she’s been starring at him for a quite some time now. “Well,” she says as she vows to herself to make Yukimura feel included and needed, “Unless you want to come with?” He hesitates for a moment before he grabs her picnic bag right back. “You’ll need someone to carry all of this any way.” And then adds, perhaps to distract from the redness that is slowly but surely spreading to his cheeks, “Dummies can’t be trusted with that.” Because she is a gracious person and fantastic friend Mai just laughs and follows him out of the castle.

[…]

The lake is beautiful. Slightly hidden between the rolling hills and mountains, the sun hasn’t yet managed to dry out the surrounding greenery and everything looks, smells, <em>feels</em> lush and alive. They find a secluded patch of grass flanked by sun-warm stones and rustling trees. Mai leaves Sasuke and Yukimura to unpack and darts to where the lake water is lapping at stones and tree trunks. The water is clear and still and when she looks close enough she can see little fish darting between the cool grey stones. Here, at the edge, the lake seems shallow enough to easily walk into it, though she can already make out a few deeper spots. She can hardly wait to get into it. She skips back to where the other two are settling in and helps Yukimura to brace their clay water bottles between some rocks in the lakes water to keep them cool. The water is pleasantly cold against her fingers, and she only grows more excited. This was a good idea. In fact, this probably was a damn near perfect idea.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting in there. Now,” she says, pointing at the lake. Sasuke pushes his glasses up, the ghost of smile dancing on his lips. “Seeing as we came all the way here to do exactly that, that’s a fairly reasonable plan of action. One I’ll be delighted to participate in as well.” “That’s a rather impractical way of saying you will go for a swim,” Yukimura grumbles from the side. As opposed to Mai and Sasuke, who are still standing, he has settled into the grass, a piece of melon already in hand. “Now, now,” Sasuke clasps him on the shoulder, “I think you of all people, my dear friend, are not in position to judge people for how well they express themselves with words.” That comment makes Yukimura splutter, but – already beet red – he doesn’t manage more than a indignant “Hey!” as a comeback. Once again proving Sasuke right.

Countless of beach and swimming trips have taught Mai that it is quite a good idea to wear your swimsuit already under your clothes, if you aren’t too keen on the whole ‘somebody maybe actually very likely is going to see my booby, but I’m still trying to prevent it as elegantly as possible’ spiel and so she comes prepared. It’s easy enough to get out of her thin summer yukata, unlike the fancy kimonos she sometimes wears around the castle. She folds her clothes up neatly and puts them down next to the cloth she brought to dry herself off later. Mai thinks that considering the time – both the period and the spontaneity of their little trip – she has done a fairly good job with her swimming costume. Well, maybe that is a bit of an overstatement. She has grabbed the first shift that seemed like: a) reasonably light material that wouldn’t take long to dry in the sun and b) a simple, but not too long cut that would allow her the necessary freedom of movement. Nevertheless, Yukimura’s alarmed gasp is a bit insulting. “What?”, she turns around, eyebrow raised. As soon as her eyes meet Yukimura’s, his head snaps back to study his piece of melon. The question whether he thought she would jump into the lake in her full outfit is at the tip of her tongue, but a quick glance in Sasuke’s direction and his subtle head shake stops her. Besides she is aiming for amiable and nice today anyway, no reason to goad him. Even after all these months Yukimura can still be painfully shy as it is.

She makes for the lake then. The cold water that laps at her feet sends goose bumps up her body, but after weeks of heat it’s exciting more than anything else. Still she has to bit her lip to keep from yelping as she wades in deeper. Her feet kick up small clouds of dirt and send the little fish scurrying away. The worst parts are her knees and her stomach, but once those are submerged it doesn’t take much bravery to hold her breath and let herself fall beneath the surface. She can feel her hair float up as her body sinks slowly towards the shallow ground of the lake. With her eyes squeezed shut, she tries to concentrate on the feeling of the cold surrounding her that becomes more pleasant with every second. Her feet find the ground, that is more mud than stone now that she has left the shore a few metres behind her. But it still offers enough support so that she can push herself back up and burst through the surface. The sun, to which she returns, feels significantly less burning than the one she left behind. She can see Sasuke coming to join her. His ninja outfit exchanged for a simple pair of pants. A weird feeling bubbles in her tummy at the sight of his bare chest. She and Sasuke are comfortable enough with each other so that they hug the other one freely and often, so she wasn’t completely unaware of the strength his body holds. Hell, logic alone is enough to deduce that a ninja is well trained. But it still makes her feel weird to see it. To be forced to acknowledge it, in a way. Mai pushes that thought process away and throws Sasuke a quick wave before she kicks up her legs to float on the water.

She always liked that. Floating around, feeling almost weightless. The cold water at your back and the sun warming your face and stomach. She closes her eyes and let’s the light paint red patterns on her closed eyelids, listening to the wind in the trees and the slight ripple in the water that Sasuke’s swimming is causing. Every once in a while she opens an eye to check that she isn’t drifting off, but otherwise relaxes and tries to commit this feeling to memory. Lord knows it will be hot and unbearable again soon enough. She doesn’t know how long she spend day dreaming, but by the time she raises herself up the front side of her body as almost dried and sends a fresh thrill of coolness down her spine. Yukimura has moved from his place on the grass to a large stone that protrudes a bit so that he can let his feet dangle in the water. Mai pushes herself forward and lets herself float gently towards him. “Can’t you swim?”

He scoffs. “Of course, I can swim. I’m a samurai.” He sounds honestly offended and for a moment Mai debates to apologise and drop the matter, but the water is so nice, and she is feeling as relaxed as she hasn’t felt in days. If she ever had the energy to go toe to toe with Yukimura it is now. And though she did promise herself to be nice, teasing Yukimura can be just so much fun. “Then why aren’t you joining us?” For a moment Yukimura just stares at her as if to comprehend what she has just said. Or if she has really said it. Then he goes bright red. “I- I can’t- I mean”, he clears his throat, desperately looking everywhere but towards her, “It would- It really wouldn’t be… um, proper, you know.” Mai laughs. “That’s what you’re worried about? But Sasuke’s already in the lake with me!” If possible, Yukimura blushes an even brighter shade of red. “Yeah, but he’s, you know…” “I really don’t” “Well, you and he… Don’t make me say it, dummy!” “Yuki, I genuinely have no idea-” “I think what Yukimura is trying to say,” Sasuke helpfully throws in while he floats past them dead man’s style, “Is that he thinks you and I are in a romantic relationship.” “Oh,” is all Mai can think to say to that, while Yukimura splutters furiously and almost slips from his stone. “But that’s not true,” she adds after a moment. That makes Yukimura look up. His previous embarrassment seemingly forgotten. “You are not?” “No,” Mai says at the same time as Sasuke chimes in with an noncharacteristicly amused “Nope”. “But then why are you like-,” Yukimura gestures between them, “like that?”

For the second time in just a few minutes Mai is genuinely baffled. She is aware that Yukimura sometimes feels left out between Sasuke and her. Hells, she knows that he did so today. But she wouldn’t have guessed that it was because he thought Sasuke and her were dating. And sure, if she’s being honest with herself, she likes Sasuke and he is attractive – and if she is really, really honest, she could see herself dating him in another life that didn’t involve time travel and samurai shenanigans. They work well together, are a good team and Mai always thought that friendships are a great foundation for a relationship. But the point is: her life does involve time travel and samurai shenanigans and also Yukimura and no matter what she feels for Sasuke, she knows that she also feels the same for Yukimura. They are goofy, silly best friends, that just happen to be also really hot. So, really, it’s not that she and Sasuke are like that, it’s that they all are like that. Sasuke and her, Yukimura and her, and even Yukimura and Sasuke. They all have their little special bonds, but that’s the important part: it’s them, all of them. Without even one it wouldn’t be the same.

“Sasuke and I are like ‘that’,” Mai tries for air quotes, but because she’s trying to stay afloat at the same time so they don’t come across particularly convincing, “Just like you and I or you and him.” He stares at her for a moment, a long moment. Then his gaze darts to Sasuke, who makes finger guns at him, and Yukimura turns bright red before it darts back to Mai. “I don’t think-,” he starts, before Sasuke throws in: “Yeah, that is often the problem. With both of you, really.” That blow comes unexpected. “Hey!”, Mai and Yukimura cry in unison. “You have to admit there’s some truth to it.” Sasuke didn’t take his glasses into the lake, but if he did Mai is sure he would be pushing them up right now. “Yuki, I can understand to some degree. He’s awkward enough at the best of times and this must all be very confusing for him. But you,” he turns to Mai, “I would have expected you to be less dense about it than I was. Although, I did require Lord Shingen’s help.” “What does Lord Shingen have to do with this?”, Yukimura looks almost too confused to be embarrassed, “Whatever this is!” “Well,” Sasuke gives both of them a pointed look, “He congratulated me and informed me that he always thought the only thing better than a team of two is a team of three.” Oh, Mai thinks while Yukimura looks on even more confused than before, oho.

It does make sense: them three being like that, instead of just two of them. She needs them both after all. And they both need her and each other, she supposes. And also, it doesn’t hurt, that they are both very hot. Lord Shingen can be very… special, but he knows desire and probably love as well and she feels like he was dead on right with that one. It does make sense. But even more important than that, the thought of them both feels good, it feels right. And she realises, a bit startled by the thought, that she wants them. She wants them, because they could be just like this, but also perhaps a bit different than this – it would be them. And that’s what she wants. That’s what Sasuke wants. And Yukimura…

She takes Sasuke’s hand in her own, pulling him with her as she swims closer towards Yukimura’s rock. The stone feels warm beneath her fingers as she pulls herself up out of the water and looks at Yukimura from underneath her lashes. “Yuki?”, she asks sweetly, “Have you ever heard of polyamory?” With a sudden yelp Yukimura falls into the lake.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen yukimura #ikesen sasuke #yukimura x mc x sasuke #my writing

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