She/her they/them | Aromantic Asexual | Theoretically writing, but more likely procrastinating. | Always wants to yell about found family and/or hope. | Open to asks, prompts, tags.
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tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it
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maybe growing up is just becoming who you were at 14 again but learning how to love her this time
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Grim Reaper Part 1
Grim Reaper Part 2
It's the Hound Knight again, AT LAST!
Check out my Patreon for the 2 bonus panels.
My stuff :
✧Read Namesake✧ ✧Read Crow Time✧ ✧Store✧ ✧Patreon✧
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writer brain is like “what if this story was a metaphor for grief”
no babes what if this story was finished first
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one aspect of avatar canon i feel like isn't talked about nearly enough is the fact that zuko canonically has prophetic dreams
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The most unrealistic part of RA is that Will didn't spend the first year of his apprenticeship wide awake because of the amount of caffeine he consumed. Are you telling me that Halt was just like, "Yep, this seems legit," and didn't proceed to regret his decision for all eternity?
Will:
Halt:
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Bobby throwing his coffee without any hesitation to catch Luke for @merry-the-cookie’s DTIYS on Instagram!
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welcome to my epic fantasy world. we have many developed fantasy kingdoms with 2000 years of rich lore and history. and to the south you can see the evil sand people and to the east theres japanchina.
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on survival
-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits
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Favorite "humans being human" history posts, please
I've seen the collections of favorite tumblr fiction posts; now I'd like to see what your favorite "humans being human" historical posts are. (Because sometimes it is Nice to be reminded that compassion is not something easy for us to lose; we laugh at the same bad jokes; there are entire fossil records of our kindness.)
Here are my favorites-- add on yours.
The story of the RMS Carpathia, with a follow-up (aka one of if not the best pieces of short nonfiction historical writing in the modern age and one that reduces me to tears every goddamn reread)
Bronze-age grave of teenage gamer girl lovingly buried with her sheep ankle bone collection
The 1st-2nd century CE Roman tombstone with a bar joke that reads like a Dril tweet
And even earlier: A 4500-1900 BCE Sumerian bar joke
"Please know that there's an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that's beautiful to you"
Reconstructing Otzi's shoes
The Paleolithic grandmother and the child's fingerprint
Stone-age toddlers had art lessons
Ice-age children played in megafauna-footprint puddles
There once was a little boy who loved ducks
The oldest human burial found in Africa is a toddler; they made a pillow for his head
Henry Kenelm Beste's father loved him very much
"A Timeline of Humanity"
"I have a folder called Time is a Flat Circle in which I collect evidence of humanity. Here is most of them."
"I got to hold a 500,000 year old hand axe at the museum today. It's right-handed. I am right-handed"
A 3rd century dog carved on a marble tomb; a 1st century dog lovingly described and named for posterity
Patrice, a 1st-2nd century dog, was dearly loved
And: we found a Paleolithic dog, buried with its bone
Humanity, unified across time by everyday experiences
The Golden Record sent into space in the 1970s
Ancient Egypt had archaeologists
Egyptian figurine of a woman waiting for her bread to finish baking
The graffiti of Pompeii
Ancient Greek tourist graffiti at the tomb of Ramses V
Hidden messages on circuit boards
The earliest examples of someone chewing on the end of their pencils
"im having feelings about the uffington white horse again"
The vast relatability of Medieval marginalia (and cats peeing on things)
Potoooooooo
What our ancient ancestors would think, seeing us prosper
Engage with older art; it keeps you from forgetting their humanity
"They were just like you and me. They write don't forget eggs, and wondered if their neighbors secretly hated them or if they are reading into it too much. They loved and were loved and they wondered. They wondered about you."
"Why do you study history" web-weaving
And ending on a high note: Ea-nasir and his shitty copper
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Edit A Month W2: Keep Moving in Tough Times
Rewriting is hard work. You no longer have the flow of new scenes and words to guide you; you have to work with what you have, and more often than not, it’s not what you wanted. Every writer goes through this, you’re not alone. Frequent cases of the rewriting blues are not knowing how to fix a problem:
Keep reading
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Editing Part 4: Worldbuilding Pass
Next up, worldbuilding! We're tackling this before structure, because you don't want to get too far into the weeds, realize a critical component of your story is wrong, and then throw your computer out the window in frustration.
Anyway, when it comes to worldbuilding, there's a lot of moving parts. There is no right or wrong way to worldbuild, but my preferred approach is to worldbuild as the story goes along. Any method works, and you can check out the worldbuilding tag for more. In editing your worldbuilding, you want to think about:
Trimming Front-loading/Info Dumps
When writing fantasy/sci-fi, getting down how the world works can take over the story. In first drafting, this is fine! But when you're trying to clean that draft up, it's better to weave this information in as you go.
Need to explain how the giant mechas guarding the city operate? Maybe your main character is trying to steal some precious alloy from one, giving you opportunity to explain how they work and how society feels about them. Have a magic system that relies on singing tunes? Show that off by having students practicing, or dueling rivals taking it too far.
You probably know by now that the thing you should avoid the most is "as you know" dialogue dumps - characters explaining concepts to each other that they both clearly understand. Another, weaker version of this is the "magic class" trap, where things are explained to the main character and the reader. A classroom environment is fine, but pair worldbuilding with action - demonstrations get out of hand, spells go wrong, etc. Make it fun!
Your World Needs Clear Rules (Sorry)
Listen, this is the part I hate. I have a WIP with the word "Rules" in the title and I'm still figuring out what those rules are. Argh. But the sooner you know the rules, the easier editing will be. The more clear those rules are to the reader, the more impactful breaking them will be.
If the rules of the world (you can't use warp speed too close to a planet's gravitational pull, the same type of magic cancels each other out) and the consequences of breaking them are clear, the pay-off will be satisfying for both you and the reader.
Use Your Environment to Your Full Advantage
You've no doubt heard 'make setting a character' and that's evergreen advice. Some of the best books out there are those where it feels like you could step through the page and into a real place, be it your childhood middle school or Narnia. Getting that feeling, however, is more than just describing a place really well.
Mood - How does the location make you feel? Does a dark, cramped room leave the characters with a feeling of dread? How would that feeling change if it was an overstuffed library with comfortable chairs?
Weather - Beyond the 'dark and stormy night' descriptions, weather impacts our daily lives and is often overlooked. A rain-drenched funeral scenes seems like it's the way to go, but how differently would that scene feel if it was a sunny day with birds singing?
City Versus Countryside - These books are a great reference for description, but also take a step back to compare how different situations would feel both in the setting and to your character. Quiet can mean very different things depending on where you are. A morning fog in the countryside might feel comforting to someone used to it, but to someone new to that environment, it might feel creepy. Think about both your environment and how your character reacts to it based on their backstory.
The Empty Room Problem
This is always a big challenge when moving from the first draft bare bones basics to fleshing things out. How much description is too much? (As a note, it's always okay to overcorrect - you'll have a chance to fix it later!) This post from @novlr has a lot of great questions - but you're still going to narrow it down to the most important details.
Escape the Movie Setting - You cannot describe the room like it's a movie set. Trying to do so is going to be overwhelming, and important details will be lost in the attempt. If you were to describe your room or your favorite coffee shop and could only highlight four or five details, what would you focus on? What gives the reader the essence of the place rather than a list of things that exist there?
Establish the Essentials - Is this your first character's first time in this room? Is it going to be key to several plot-important scenes? Some big, sweeping details when entering - how big it is, what's in it, where the windows are, how it feels, etc - are good to start with. Your character can briefly admire a full bookshelf in the first scene, and then study it in more detail in the second. If you have one scene in this place and spend too much time describing it, you're going to make your reader think it's more important than it is.
Engage the Senses - Does an old room smell musty? Does the coldness of the woods have a sharp taste? Does touching a shelf bring up a lot of dust? How does the lighting in the room make the main character feel?
Getting down the description of a room or setting is not something you'll nail in one shot, but if you approach each scene asking yourself "does this feel like a real place or a white room?" you can narrow down what's missing.
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Editing Part 5: The Structural Pass
Okay, by now you've nailed down how you want your plot, characters, and worldbuilding to be. If you haven't by now, it's a good time to format your document into manuscript format if you plan to move forward to publish in any form.
When it comes to structure, what you're really focusing on is readability. If the format of your book is a slog to get through, if your paragraphs are too long or your sentences are all the same. This will lose readers otherwise in love with your plot.
Dialogue
Dialogue heavy scenes are very fun to write, but pages of dialogue with no action can also be exhausting. Break up your dialogue heavy scenes with actions and descriptions. How does the character's body language reflect their feelings on the discussion? Can you give them a task (picking a lock, chopping onions) that allow you to add to the scene (fumbling when frustrated, dicing harder when angry)?
One mistake (that I've made plenty of times) is to have characters doing things for the sake of doing them. But this is an opportunity to add details that add to your plot (the normally awful cafeteria green beans are delicious, a clue to solving the murder!), character (an alien crewmember is trying to copy human expressions to seem more personable, but his many teeth just freak people out), and world-building and setting (Laura is ranting about her ex, but Tara is distracted by how soulless her rich mother's house seems).
Scene Lengths
Are your scenes running too long? Do they start in the wrong place? (Two paragraphs on making coffee instead of "She was making coffee when George burst in.") Tightening up your scenes will do a great deal to make your book better.
This is easy advice to give and harder to picture doing, I've found. Everything often feels essential to a scene. Try to tackle scenes with the following questions:
What is the point of the scene? (George tells Susan his wife left him for Keanu Reeves.)
Where does the action start? (When George burst through the door without knocking.)
What is the goal of the scene? (Susan starts to suspect George of murdering his wife.)
Where does the action end? (George leaves.)
Where should the scene end? - This answer depends entirely on what you need to happen next. Maybe you have another page and a half of Susan musing about her suspicions right there in the kitchen. But maybe this will be more impactful in the next scene, where Susan is snooping in the garden and happens to find something George's wife would never leave behind.
Varying Paragraphs and Sentences
Pull back and look at your pages. Are all the paragraphs the same length? Do you fall into using the same pattern of sentences over and over? (Guilty) Have you used the same word four times in a single paragraph to describe something? (Double guilty) Break those chunks up, what for those repeat words, and vary your sentences. This is going to help so much with issues you weren't aware of.
Chapters and Word Count
There are many ways to do chapters, but you want to keep an eye out for chapters that are going too long (giving your reader a visual break of a chapter ending can help shift the setting and tone) or too short (have you accomplished everything you need?) This is not a knock on either structure done on purpose - this is to catch something you may have overlooked.
When it comes to word count, industry standards are always a good baseline to go with. Your audience often approaches a genre with certain expectations, and while you can make a doorstopper of a romance, you will find more readers by sticking to the 80-100k range.
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Editing Your Novel Part 2: The Plot Pass
Okay, it's finally time to edit. You've got all your materials sorted, it's time to dive right in. You want to start with the big edits first, aka the plot pass.
Now listen. You're going to want to linger and fix those little bits of grammar or dialogue, and I know it's so hard not to, but letting yourself get off-track might mean wasting hours on a scene you realize later you have to delete. Fix a few spelling errors, leave a note, and stay plot-focused.
Making Sense (Of the Plot)
In the plot pass, you're asking yourself some basic questions:
Do events follow a clear order? - When you're getting everything down on the page for the first time, scenes might get jumbled up or events might not have clear causes. Maybe you have a car crashing into the cafe pages before, but in a writing haze, you wrote your main characters having a casual conversation moments later. If the bad guy beats your heroes to treasure, is it clear how they got there? (Not everyone can be Yzma.)
Do circumstances feel contrived? If there are any problems that can be solved by your characters sitting down and talking to each other, it may be better to lean into their motivation for not speaking to each other, rather than coming up with bad romcom scenarios. If the plot can be resolved by the mcguffin the grandma had the whole time, it might be better to make finding that mcguffin part of the plot instead.
It doesn't have to be perfect, and you don't have to reinvent the wheel. If someone gets bitten by a werewolf, it's perfectly fine to have them turn into one at the worst possible moment. When it comes to contrived, you're looking for problems that seem easy to solve and look for more interesting ways to complicate them.
Are your character motivations consistent to the characters throughout the story? - They can change throughout the story, but character motivations do need to be linked to the actions they take. An out-of-nowhere betrayal is way more satisfying if you lay the groundwork for it ahead of time.
Take a moment to list out the motivations of the characters in a scene you're not quite sure of can help you figure how to fix it. Having an outline helps with this a lot!
Are you following an "if... then" format? - My brain doesn't work like this when I'm writing, because as a writer you know how A got to Z, and it seems (in your head) obvious how it happened. This is where my scene card outline come in handy, because I can look at my overview of what should happen and why, and then compare it to what actually happens in the scene. I've discovered so many threads I forgot to connect that way, like why a character had a certain device (I forgot to have him pick it up two scenes earlier), or adding a few simmering dialogue bits that make the big fight pay off much better.
Can you fix the "Because the Plot Demands It" scenes? - Look, sometimes your character needs to be in that haunted house to see that damn ghost, but your character isn't the type to set foot in such a place. It's really easy, especially in the first draft, to contrive a way in there (she took a wrong turn on her way to grandma's!), but retooling these scenes to connect them to the characters motivations and needs is the way to go. The main character doesn't want to go into that obviously cursed place, but her best friend hasn't shown up for school in three days and now she's crying for help from the second floor window. Your character's strong desire to be there for her friend is a much better way to get her into that house.
This is not always easy - it took me six fricken drafts to realize a critical part of a character's motivation was because his father blamed him for his mother's death - but it is going to be worth putting in the work to hammer down.
Do you have a solid timeline? - This might not seem as important, but it's super easy to accidentally fit two weeks worth of activities in three days. Make sure you have that on reference, even if you don't mention it in the book. Also make sure to gauge your distances if your characters are on a trip, because if you do accidentally say it takes two hours to drive from Seattle to Spokane instead of five, someone will dive down your throat for it. Not me. Just someone.
Okay, maybe me. Slow down, you maniacs.
Next post we'll dive into the structure pass. See you then!
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things to ask yourself at the end of each chapter and/or scene:
what do we learn about the characters in this chapter/scene?
how does what we learn tie into the plot?
what sort of feelings does this scene/chapter induce?
what is the point of this scene/chapter? (it doesn’t have to be a big point, but there must be some point)
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So, so many works I’ve read could be vastly improved with tightening and shaving of superfluous words. Wordiness is an easy stumbling block, as we’re used to how we talk. We’re used to how others (long ago) wrote. But times change, my friend, and so do expectations of the writer. We don’t get paid by the word in fiction. So show your smarts and say as much as you can with as much power as you can in as few words as possible.
Here are a few things you can cut without reserve to help shorten your story right now. And as you catch yourself using these words in your next draft, hit that backspace before you finish the sentence! It’s okay if you already have. You can go delete them now. No one will ever know.
Moment/Second/Minute
It’s so tempting. I am guilty of using this word like fertilizer in my first drafts. But most of the time, these words aren’t needed at all. They add nothing.
He sat down for a moment, sipping his coffee. vs. He sat down and sipped at his coffee.
But he only did it for a moment, you say!
He sat down for a moment, sipping his coffee. When the door opened a second later, he shot to his feet. vs. He sat down and sipped his coffee. The door opened, and before he could swallow his first sip, he shot to his feet.
I know, this is about making your writing more concise and my “right” example has more words than the first example. But what’s the difference? The words used in the second sentence are more tangible. They give a visual that “a second later” and “for a moment” don’t. And you could leave that part out, of course, if you’re really going for trimming word count. It doesn’t paint quite the same image, but “The door opened and he shot to his feet.” is a perfectly good sentence.
Suddenly/All of a sudden
You’ve heard this one, before, surely. These words are used…when? When you’re trying to portray suddenness. Surprise, perhaps. So why are you adding in extra words to slow down the pace?
She flipped on the TV and reclined in her chair. All of sudden, the TV flashed a bright light and the power went out. vs. She flipped on the TV and reclined in her chair. The TV flashed once before the lights went dark. The power was out.
That sense of immediacy is felt when stuff just happens. So let it happen. If it’s rhythm you’re worried about, then find more useful words to create the rhythm. Notice that I didn’t just cut “All of a sudden” out of the sentence and leave it. I reworded it a bit to make it stronger.
Finally
It can be a useful word, but more often than not, it’s just taking up space.
Really/Very
Just…delete them.
To alter a Mark Twain quote:
“Substitute ’[fucking]’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
But seriously, if you’re saying, “She was breathing very hard.” You could just cut the “very” and say, “She was breathing hard.” Or, even better, “She was panting.” Or, EVEN BETTER: “She panted.”
Himself/herself/myself/themselves
Reflexive nouns have a specific purpose, though they can still often be avoided. They fall into the category of “use only when it’s confusing otherwise.”
Correct: He looked at himself in the mirror. Better: He looked in the mirror.
Incorrect: She gave them to Andrew and myself before leaving. Correct: She gave them to Andrew and me before leaving.
Technically correct I guess: I haven’t eaten lunch myself. (Intensive pronoun; aka waste of words) Better: I haven’t eaten lunch.
Intensive pronouns add emphasis, but that emphasis is negligible and often negated by the power of tightening your narrative.
That
You can likely cut 60% of your “that"s and your story will be unaffected. Sometimes, you do need to add a “that” here and there for clarification, but not always. And sometimes it’s just plain incorrect.
The jacket was the coolest one that he’d ever owned. vs. The jacket was the coolest one he’d ever owned.
In other cases, you might do well to substitute “that” with “which.” Though, if you’re doing this, make sure you do it properly. That change can often alter the meaning of your sentence. That can be for the better, though.
The vandalism that read “Bad Wolf” made Rose nervous. vs. The vandalism, which read “Bad Wolf,” made Rose nervous.
Do you see the difference? In the first sentence, the words are what make Rose nervous. In the second, the vandalism itself makes Rose nervous, and it happens to say “Bad Wolf.” In this case, if you’ve watched Doctor Who, then you know the first example is the correct one.
So when you’re sharing details using “that” or “which,” contemplate how important they are to meaning of the sentence to determine which type of clause you need to use.
Then
Or worse, “And then.”
It makes your writing sound a bit juvenile. Either cut it entirely, or substitute “and.”
She jumped into the pool, then hit her head on the bottom. vs. She jumped into the pool and hit her head on the bottom.
And then, after all that time, she fell asleep. vs. After all that time, she fell asleep.
Even
Sometime “even” can help emphasize a situation or behavior, but when it’s used in narrative improperly, it sounds childish and silly.
He couldn’t even breathe. vs. He couldn’t breathe.
Even with the new hair gel, his hair was terrible. (This one is fine, though you could still cut that “even” if you really wanted to…)
Just
Just…Delete it.
Breathe/breath/exhale/inhale/sigh/nod/shrug
Another one I’m so guilty of. In my first drafts, I tend to talk about how a character is breathing, or when they’re sighing like nobody’s business. I know a lot of writers who are guilty of this, too. It’s a great tool to use scarcely. In intense moments, you can let your character take a final deep breath to calm themselves. When a character almost drowns, those first few sweet breaths are important. But you readers know that people breath all the time. And just because you need a beat in your dialogue doesn’t mean you need to remind your reader that the character is still breathing or moving.
Rather/quite/somewhat
She was rather tall. She was tall. He was quite idiotic. He was idiotic. They were somewhat snazzy. They were snazzy. Why do you need those words? Kill ‘em.
Start/begin
This is a great example of fluff.
She started to run toward the shop. vs. She ran toward the shop.
He began scolding them for their performance. vs. He scolded them for their performance.
There are obviously uses for this word, like anything. He started the car. Begin your tests! But when you’re using it to slow the action and the pace of your narrative, then consider heavily if you need it. You probably don’t.
In order to/in an attempt to
Phrases that add unneeded complications, cumbersome wording…kill ‘em!
She bit down in an attempt to stop herself from screaming. vs. She bit down to stop herself from screaming.
Was able to
He was able to call. vs. He could call. OR He called.
This is one that isn’t inherently bad, but it can easily be overused and cutting it will help simplify your narrative.
Due to
Ugh. Are you trying to sound proper and stuffy? Because that’s a reason, I guess, to use this phrase…and yet it sounds like doodoo. (Yes. I’m an adult.) Rephrase. Use “Because of” or just avoid the need altogether.
We stopped due to traffic. vs. We stopped because of traffic. OR (Strength of narrative!) We stopped mid-highway. The parked cars went on beyond the curve of the road, out of sight.
Visibly/obviously/apparently/audibly
These are a sign of telling in your narrative when you should probably be showing.
She was visibly shaking. –> She shivered, hugging her upper arms. He was obviously tired. –> He yawned and tripped on his own feet as he crossed the room. They were apparently angry. –> They stomped and shouted, demanding attention. She screamed audibly. (Really?) –> She screamed.
Don’t tell your readers what emotion a character is feeling. Instead, give a few clues that they can see/hear/feel the emotion too.
While
This word has lots of legitimate uses. However, if you’re using it poorly, then your narrative reads like an Early Reader’s book, and you (unless that’s what you’re writing) probably don’t want that.
“Get it together,” he said while flipping them off. vs. “Get it together,” he said, flipping them off.
Turned
One of the classics. So overused, my friends. It’s needed on occasion, but not nearly as often as we use it. Just cut it out.
They turned toward her as they spoke. vs. They gave her their full attention as they spoke. OR They looked into her eyes. OR (Nothing. Readers don’t have to be updated on every little movement.)
Saw/looked/regarded
UGH. Regarded:Looked::Mentioned:Said
And, like “said,” many, many instances of these words can be nixed.
She saw them run for the hills. vs. They ran for the hills.
This can be tricky, I know, when you’re writing in limited-third or first POV. It’s tempting to put every action directly through your POV character’s filter. But resist that temptation! There are times when it’s appropriate, occasionally, but it can be overdone so easily.
I looked at her and said, “Please.” vs. I said,“ Please.” OR. I took her hand. “Please.”
This example sides with the breathing and the turning. It’s often an unneeded update on the tiny movements of the characters. And, again, sometimes you need that beat or that little detail in an intense moment, but not often.
Said/replied/stated/spoke/mentioned/asked/commented/yelled/cried/shouted
I’m not here to tell you to cut all your dialogue tags (please don’t). I’m also going to the last person who insists you get rid of “said.” In fact, I’m in the “said is invisible” party of writing nerds and I think, if you’re going to use a standard tag, it should be “said” 90% of the time.
But aside from that, using as few dialogue tags as possible is a good thing. I’ll do a full post on this soon, but for now, be aware of how often you rely on these words in your dialogue and do your best not to overuse them. Use surrounding action and context to take some of the reliance off of these words.
To-Be in all its conjugated forms
If you’re using any of this list:
am, is, are, was, were, be, being, had been
Then check yo'self. Some tenses call for an auxiliary verb. Some types of sentence do, too, not doubt about it. But many don’t, and cutting to-be verbs when you can will help tighten your writing.
We were going to the store. vs. We went to the store.
Sounds were echoing through the chamber. vs. Sounds echoed through the chamber.
To-be verbs can also be an indicator of passive voice, though they aren’t always.
He was hit by the ball. vs. The ball hit him.
Last but not least, check all of your adverbs.
Chances are, if you’re using an adverb, you could be using a single strong verb instead and giving each sentence more punch.
He ran quickly. –> He sprinted. I hit him hard. –> I socked him. She spoke quietly. –> She whispered. They ran into each other fast. –> They crashed.
So what am I supposed to do about this?
Take it to heart. Try not to let these words take over your brain as you write. Once your manuscript is finished, try this method:
Use Find and Replace. Replace any and all of the aforementioned words in ALL-CAPS. Now, if you’ve paid attention to my advice in using emphasis, then those all-caps will really stick out as you’re reading over your work and you can decide at each instance whether your usage is appropriate, or if it needs to be rewritten. As I did to this very old draft of mine from my first NaNoWriMo (in which I used every single word on this list, I’m sure).

When I used this method with my most recent WIP, I was able to cut my word count from 105k to 93k without cutting any content whatsoever. It takes a lot of work and it’s pretty tedious but the results are amazing!

It wouldn’t be the English language without exceptions, would it?
Now, there is actually an important time for intentionally using any or all of the words on this list. You know when that is?
When it fits the character’s voice. - More on this in my next post!
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