silver-star-system

[silver-star-system]

guess whose turn it is with the long front

[silver-star-system]

Headmate REI's blinkie hoard

[silver-star-system]

Shout out to fictives who feel uncomfortable and exposed by the fact that their sources exist as public media that anybody gets to see. The fact that anyone can just pull it up and see all of your history and traumas and mistakes, without your say or even knowledge. The fictives who don't even feel they're allowed to be upset about it because it's "just fiction" and therefore doesn't matter. Who feel like less than "real people" because of it.

We see you. You matter.

[silver-star-system]

Polykin vs. Plural

We decided to make this guide from the “started off thinking we were polykin but realized we were a system” perspective. 

Getting this out of the way first, otherkin is: 

Identifying AS something. If you’re only relating/ feel connected moreso, look into synpath and otherhearted. 

Involuntary. If you’re choosing to be otherkin, look into copinglink. 

So back to polykin vs. plural, polykin is when you identify as more than one nonhuman or fictional entity, plural is when there are more than one entities in your body. 

You may be plural and not polykin if: 

Your kintypes talk back or seem to have their own thoughts/feelings. 

Your kintypes seem to be their own people in some way. 

Your personality/self fully changes with each shift. 

You get an urge to change presentation in an extreme way each shift. 

You want to change important parts of your life each new shift. 

Your gender/sexuality is tied to shifts. 

Being polykin is stressful for you in an atypical way. 

Having the amount of kintypes you do doesn’t seem right, but trying to cut the list in ineffective. 

Kintypes you determined were not kintypes come back with intensity. 

You have a tier and its based more on shift frequency than identification. 

You don’t identify as your kintypes all the time, only during shifts. 

Certain kintypes seem to be inexplicably grouped together. 

You have multiple fictotypes from the same canon. 

You answer a lot of “why” questions with “I don’t know”. 

It’s also a pretty good indicator if you find yourself wanting to be plural because you feel that would explain your experience better. 

These aren’t 100% an indicator of being one and not the other, but based on our experiences formerly identifying as polykin, this is what we’ve noticed. 

You can also be both and a lot of overlap, and systems can still identify as ‘kin. 

[silver-star-system]

In your most recent (to making this ask) reblog you mentioned being other kin and having facets that seemed to be kins at one point (or being both). How did you figure out they were facets vs kins? I'm still learning about my system, but have a few kins figured out but some kins I'm wondering if are facets/alters/etc and would love any advice I can get on knowing the difference.

Heya! I know this is pretty late but hope this advice still gets to ya!

On telling the difference between facets & kintypes!

[On telling the difference between facets & kintypes!]

We identify as both otherkin and a system, and while telling the difference between the two is much easier nowadays, it really wasn't when we first started out - we realized our median monoconscious host facets had been masking under 'kin shifts for years. Nowadays we have a sort of checklist we go through to tell if an identity is a kintype or an introject of some sort. Hopefully this can help people sort out the difference!

Note: these are all from the perspective of a single system! Others may have other experiences and are encouraged to add to this post.

Otherkin experiences

[Otherkin experiences]

- Being otherkin means having an innate "other" identity you identify as You. Many singular people feel like they have different aspects of themselves, and a kintype may feel like that, but it will still be intrinsically intwined with your core self. Your kintype identity cannot be "separated" from You.

- We find a good way to tell if a potential kintype is yours, is to refer to the 'type and their actions with I/me pronouns. For example, let's say someone's fictionkin as Character xyz. They likely would feel comfortable saying, "I am xyz. My friends are [xyz's friends] and I partook in [experiences xyz experienced]. I feel a certain way about those experiences because they affected me personally."

- Kin shifts, in the otherkin community, are periods of time where you experience the aspects of your otherkin identity more intensely for an amount of time. This is generally considered not a plural experience, since those in kin shifts might lean heavier into the aspects of themselves aligning with their kintype, they often will not contradict their non-shifted selves on things like identity, current dislikes, and moral opinions.

- Sometimes we feel more or less connected to certain kintypes than others, but not only is that likely because most of us are past life otherkin, but the dissonance doesn't get too extreme unless we're in a different facet or another member all together.

Polyconscious median experiences

- Being co-conscious with another system member can feel like "you" at first, but there're some distinct differences. When you're experiencing an emotion or memory related to a possible kintype or other member, consider how it may feel for these emotions to be coming from a third person perspective within your own body. Ask yourself these questions: Does it feel like these emotions/memories are coming from my perspective? Does this directly contradict how I'm feeling right now? Do I feel a disconnect from this feeling/memory/identity, as if I'm feeling someone else next to me experience it rather than feeling as if it's me? (Remember, for many people with system members connected to their kintypes, it can be both)

- Do your emotions and experiences related to your "kintype" feel controlled by you, or do they feel like they have a whim of their own, changing on a course only connected to yours? Does your "kintype" feel like they have their own free will? If unsure, try reaching out to and talking with that identity with your mental voice, and see if you get an emotional or mental-verbal response!

- Your kintype will feel like an inseparable aspect of you, while another member may feel more like an "outside force" despite being internal. Do you feel like you "tune out" of the world while your identity takes the wheel of doing things and expressing using the conscious awareness/body? Many systems can misinterpret switches as kin shifts due to not knowing that not all systems black out when not in front.

- When you're unsure if you're just in a shift or if someone's around with you, try calling out to and talking to them with your mental voice. You might have to do it a few times! You may feel a stirring of emotion separate from yours or even get a response in internal voice as well. Kintypes generally don't act on their own or respond to you.

Monoconscious median experiences

- Switching between monoconscious facetw can feel a lot like kin shifts. Compare how you feel in a "shift" to how you felt before. Do you feel drastically different? Do you feel like using a different name, or that you have a different gender or pronouns? Are your opinions & tastes different from before? How differently do you act outwardly? Kin shifts generally just make you feel more intensely in the headspace of your kintype- it won't change anything drastic or contradictory like that.

- Compare your self before the "shift" to now. Does your identity, opinions, gender, tastes, etc feel unpleasant or wrong to apply to you? Does it bring discomfort or dysphoria? That's probably separation you're feeling. While in median systems, members may have similar aspects, there're usually contrasting elements as well. (this median part goes doubly for polycon members as well)

- A way to conceptualize monoconscious medianhood is feeling as if "you" are shifting and changing into something new, rather than being there along with somebody else tied to you. Your point of perspective may not shift when you switch front, but your identity does.

Important points of crossover!!

[Important points of crossover!!]

- You may feel like more than one of these concepts apply for a singular source/'type, and that's okay! Kintypes can form as headmates and still be your kintype as well - it takes a little to get used to, but that's just how it is sometimes. Having two people that both ID as the same source is typically called doubles, just the same as the fictionkin community

- Other members of the system can have their *own* kintypes, which can get a little complicated, but it'll get easier to sort out as you practice and increase communication.

Hope this helps out some!! Sorry it took a bit

[silver-star-system]

Being a system on the monoconscious spectrum means we can never quite fully verify the existence of our headmates 🫠 It’s so hard to tell if certain headmates are real or if we’re just imagining them… However tulpamancy communities have helped us a lot by affirming “it’s better to accept the existence of a headmate that may not actually be real, rather than reject the existence of a headmate who is real and wants to reach out”

[silver-star-system]

Question for monoconscious systems

How do your headmates communicate with each other?

[silver-star-system]

when you don't have an inner child or inner demons, just an inner sentient clump of dryer lint, and you're both too tired to be dealing with each other rn

[silver-star-system]

Scenes & Quotes That Live Rent Free In My Head; Ginger Snaps [2000]

[silver-star-system]

i want to switch very badly. My alter has agreed to try and help, but I don't know how to let go and sink into headspace or if I even go there. I'm scared of not being in control and I'm scared of finding out that I wasn't a system after all. I'm really terrified that it's all just psychotic delusions and that it's not real. Can you please help me?

Hey! We’re sorry that you’re going through such a hard time right now when it comes to switching and having some self-doubts. We might have some advice that could help you, though!

As far as headspaces go, if your system hasn’t actively worked on creating a headspace, you may just not have one, at least not yet! Most systems do not start out with a headspace and have to actively work on creating one. You can check out our post on headspaces for more info!

It’s true though that some systems may have members who can’t access their headspace (we have someone in our system who’s like this!). So not being able to access your headspace doesn’t mean you don’t have one, and it doesn’t mean you’re not a system! That’s just the way it is for some folks, unfortunately.

When it comes to actually pulling off a switch, it makes sense to worry about losing control or the ability to front again. If it’s any consolation, though, we can assure you that the chances of permanently losing control or going dormant after switching out are quite slim. As long as you are needed in your system, you’re not likely to go dormant! And even dormant headmates often don’t leave forever. Dormancy doesn’t mean death and isn’t something to stress or fret about! For many headmates, dormancy is just a fact of life.

Finally, we so have a post with some switching tips and info that might be useful for y’all! We’ll go ahead and link it here. Hopefully something in it could be useful or helpful for your system!

If y’all are never able to switch successfully, that doesn’t mean you’re delusional or faking your plurality in any way! We cannot stress this fact enough. Some systems never ever switch, and that does not invalidate their plurality one bit! As long as you feel plural and are comfortable identifying as such, then you are plural, and your system is absolutely welcome here and you belong in plural spaces. Please don’t try to hold yourself or your system to unrealistic standards! Switching is not a requirement for plurality, and even if you’re never able to switch successfully, that doesn’t mean you’re not a real system.

We hope this response helps at least somewhat! Feel free to reach out again if there’s anything we can do to help y’all out in the future.

[silver-star-system]

Can an headmate / tulpa front by accident ? If yes, will I know when im not frontting anymore ??

It's definitely possible for headmates/tulpas to form accidentally, for various nuanced reasons

For knowing when you're not fronting that's a pretty broad answer, and it all depends on your personal experiences. I'd say likely you'll know when you've not fronted/are not fronting, but there are many ways systems front. Some common ways folk describe fronting/switching, that I can think of, are:

"blacking out" when another headmate fronts, feeling like you've suddenly gone from one place to another/have a large gap in your memory from when they fronted (generally this means you may have some form of system Amnesia[link])

being pushed to the side/not being able to control your body, you may be able to feel/sense the other headmate or not (this could be co-fronting[link], etc...)

having a headmate "layer" themselves over you/adding their identity to yours, it's a very broad thing and many systems experience it differently, however it's usually accompanied by not feeling "yourself" or having another presence there. Generally this is more common in median type systems (layering[link])

there is also co-consciousness, non possessive switching or otherwise non switching systems[link]

In all of these you'll generally have known when you've not fronted or when the headmate/tulpa is there with you. But none of these are guaranteed or a Must Happen, so take time to figure out how your plurality works, and don't stress too much about fronting and switching and such! Even if you don't relate to any of these, this isn't a comprehensive list nor does it decide how folk "should" experience fronting

Have a good day!

[silver-star-system]

How intentional switching works for us (swears included):

Option 1: Opting out

As an adaptive system, we learned to switch like this first. When whoever is out simply Cannot anymore, they turn tail and run. It’s usually quick, like flinging yourself back, and we started with it because of traumatic overwhelm. But we still do it. Sometimes it is still noping out, like refusing to take out the trash and making it someone else’s problem. Other times it’s more amiable, like throwing myself out of front so they can pet the cat. It’s fast, forces whoever is near or whoever is equipped out, and can lead to new alters or blank spells if no one steps forward. Time loss is on the table if it’s overwhelm hauling your ass out the door.

Option 2: Tag, you’re it

We were lucky (in a way) to have learned cooperative switching early in some parts of the system. Our perps taught us how to encourage out of body experiences, and we use that to loosen our grip on executive control. Once you’re not in the body, you can find a way into an inner landscape or take a nap. We visualize different gates in different places, and leaving the body for us means abandoning our senses on our way out. It gets bright, vast in an everywhere and nowhere kind of way, and then we find the place we want to be instead. Whoever wants to come forward can, and we can co-front or stay co-conscious by choosing not to take a gate. Can also lead to blank spells if no one switches in.

Option 3: Get fucked

Instead of tossing myself out, I yoink whoever is fronting away so I can rush in behind them. It takes more mental power for us to throw them further, so they usually stay co-con unless there’s a reason for them to be unaware. If whoever is there holds front better than I do, it might not work. Like opting out, we got the skill from hard times and use it more to our own whims now. This is the easiest way for us to converse externally, or go to events on schedule. People who are okay with being moved don’t fight it, and it’s less effort to push around others than getting everyone dissociated in a crowded front.

The slow but stable Option 2 takes less visualization with practice, and we once did an exercise with passing consciousness around like a talking stick. Expecting the switch and taking a nice middle amount of time to do it lowers the chances of headaches for us, where very quick and very sticky switches cause pain more reliably.

Option 1 is the hardest to visualize for us. It’s like leaning back too far and falling out of your chair. Option 3 can go either way, looking like someone squabbling with you over your spot or suddenly being inside or waking up and it’s next month.

I do recommend imagination in some capacity (if not visual) to guide the switch. If you’re stepping away from your senses, implement new senses internally; maybe it’s always a comfortable temperature inside, or you can hear chatter the closer you get to the others, or there’s a stoney wall to trace back to your hangout. What is consciousness to you? Do you look out into it, hold it, sink into it?

Have a plan for who’s going where and how they’re doing that, and start by mapping out how it already happens if it does. Add to it, get used to it.

Not all systems can switch intentionally, but you don’t know if you don’t try. It’s not such a leap of faith when you understand what you’re doing, and it gets easier the more you do it.

[silver-star-system]

Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques are a psychological method to end flashbacks, anxiety attacks, and negative thought spirals. Anyone can use these but they are especially helpful for interrupting symptoms of mental illness like OCD obsessions, panic attacks, or PTSD flashbacks.

Grounding techniques allow us to step back from a cyclical thought that is causing us distress. They allow us to let go of thoughts that feel overwhelming and uncontrollable. Geounding techniques give us control over our mind.

They are very helpful for disengaging from traumatic memory flooding if self-exploration gets out of hand. For this reason, they are often used to come back from overwhelming thoughts/memories during EMDR therapy.

Grounding techniques are similar to mental techniques like meditation. Meditation can also be used as a grounding technique - it provides a similar benefit.

I Spy

Pick any color (or any other distinguishing characteristic, such as shape.) Find 9 things around you that are that color. If you are still experiencing the negative thought loop after finding 9 items, repeat the exercise with a new characteristic. Keep finding sets of 9 items until you feel calm.

5x5

Experience 5 things around you with your 5 senses. Look at 5 different items near you. Feel the texture of 5 different items near you. Listen for 5 different sounds in your immediate environment. Identify 5 different scents near you. Taste 5 different flavors. It may not be possible to find 5 experiences of each sense depending on where you are (particularly taste,) so it is okay to move on from categories that do not have easily accessible sensory experiences. Repeat this until a sense of disconnection or distraction from negative thoughts is attached.

Ground in Senses

It is easy to use sensory stimuli to ground. Focusing on an experience that we perceive with one of our senses, such as touching a soft blanket, looking at a kaleidoscope, preparing and then drinking an orange juice, smelling a rose, or listening to a song, can be used to bring us back to the present and disengage from negative thought loops. Some people continue one or more sensory processes until they feel better, others set a timer and do it for a set time such as 5 or 10 minutes.

If a sensory experience that you associate with being calm or happy will make the process easier; we attach feelings to many things, and it is helpful to be aware of what feelings we associate with things such as flavors or textures. For instance, we may feel an extra sense of comfort from touching a childhood blanket that we associate with nostalgic and comforting childhood memories. It is not necessary to use a sensory experience that we associate with something else to ground, but it is helpful and is something to be mindful of.

Simple Process

These are a set of similar techniques that distract a person from dysphoric internal processes with a simple physical activity. Some people clap their hands or stamp their feet to take themselves out of their thoughts and ground in the present. Some people go for a walk for 5 to 10 minutes. Other people interface their fingers together and move their hands back and forth.

Jarring Stimuli

Some people use physical experiences that are slightly unpleasant or startling to disengage from negative thoughts and feelings and bring themselves back to the present. Some people take cold showers, wash their face with cold water, or run their hands under cold water. Other people go outside when it is cold or hot out. Other people hold onto an ice cube or touch ice.

Showering/Bathing

Many people find that a shower or bath is relaxing. Due to the complexity of sensory experiences encountered during showering or bathing, it is easy to ground in the present by focusing on the changing of temperature and feeling of water on skin and getting lost in the simple process of washing. Bathing and showering have the added bonus of being constructive activities. Some people find doing simple housework like vacuuming or washing dishes is also relaxing and grounding - and can be used to walk away from negative thoughts.

[silver-star-system]

Switching Tips and Info

Hello! We’ve often said here that for our system, switching is involuntary and happens automatically or with the help of our gatekeeper. However, we often get asked here about switching, how it works, how to practice switching, and how to switch for the very first time. In general, we’re probably unequipped to confidently answer these questions. But we’ve decided to put together this post with information we’ve picked up from therapy, research, and learning from other systems. We hope this can help you and your system learn to switch more effortlessly!

Disclaimer: We are not an expert or clinician by any stretch of the word! We are one DID system sharing our experience and information we’ve picked up during our time in treatment and system spaces. This post comes from the perspective of a system with DID, though much of this advice could be potentially useful for all sorts of systems!

What is switching?

Switching is a common occurrence in systems when one headmate swaps places with another in order to perceive and interact with the world. Systems of all sorts can switch, not just those with dissociative disorders like DID or OSDD! Switching can look incredibly different from system to system, and may vary based on a wide variety of factors such as:

System origin

Previous history with switching

Degree of dissociative barriers

Comfort levels with fronting and switching for each headmate

The presence of a system manager or gatekeeper

Safety of the system overall

And more!

Do all systems switch?

No, not every system wants to switch or is capable of switching! Many systems exist with one primary fronter and many headmates who either cofront, are coconscious, or never front to experience the outside world at all. Switching is not a requirement to be a system, and it’s not even a requirement to have a dissociative disorder.

Many systems may find that headmates have switched before without noticing it! Before a system’s “syscovery,” headmates may lose time, experience identity shifts, or interact with other system members without ever realizing that they’re plural. In fact, an overwhelming majority of systems with disorders like DID and OSDD are covert, meaning their switches and other symptoms often go unnoticed by other people or the systems themselves!

How can I switch with my headmates?

We don’t have any surefire way to guarantee switching, as every system is unique and no two systems function in exactly the same way! However, here are some ideas for you and your headmates to try in order to help a switch occur.

1. Open communication

Communicate with as many headmates as you can on a regular basis. Keep an open dialogue, and talk to your headmates about fronting, what that might look like for them, and any worries they have about potentially fronting in the future. Try to address each headmate’s fears and concerns to the best of your ability before expecting them to front. Imagine together what it might look like for other headmates to front. Try to understand what happens to headmates in your system who aren’t fronting: do they enter your system’s headspace/inner world? Do they stop fully existing or enter a sort of stasis? Are they still able to perceive the outside world at all? Having a stable, steady line of communication and an understanding of how your system works can help make it easier to allow other headmates to front when the time comes!

2. Seek out a gatekeeper or system manager

Many, but not all, systems have members whose role is specifically to manage who fronts and control switches. Our own system has a gatekeeper who handles the majority of our switches! If you haven’t already, try to learn whether or not your system already has an established gatekeeper. If you do, establishing a connection with that headmate and communicating with them will be essential for switching in the future.

If your system doesn’t have a gatekeeper/manager, that’s fine! A headmate with this role is not required for system to experience switches. For those who do have them, however, cooperating with managers and gatekeepers can help make switching a smoother, more painless process!

3. Ensure safety

Don’t attempt to switch if your system is not 100% safe, and only try to switch after all headmates involved feel comfortable and secure. NEVER try to force a headmate to switch who doesn’t want to. Respect each other’s boundaries and rights to personal autonomy.

When you’re ready to try and purposefully switch, do so in a safe, comfortable, secluded environment. Try to limit distractions and opportunities for interruptions. Check in with headmates that you have access to, and ensure that everyone feels safe and comfortable before attempting to switch.

For minors, traumagenic systems, and those who currently live with abusers or those who have harmed them: it may be for the best to not attempt to switch until you’re in a situation where you are distanced from those who have caused you harm (be them parents, friends, loved ones, or anyone else). Unfortunately for many systems, this may mean waiting until you have moved out of your family’s home in order to put some space between you and your system’s abusers.

Trying to switch when you’re not 100% sure of your system’s safety could absolutely cause more harm than good! The safety and well-being of your system is more important than providing headmates with opportunities to purposefully switch. There will be plenty of time in your future to learn more about your system and attempt to manage switches! Until then, it’s probably best to allow your system to function in ways that ensure your safety and the safety of your headmates.

4. Use positive triggers

Positive triggers are external stimuli that can help bring certain headmates closer to the front by reminding the system about that headmate and what they enjoy. Having a wide range of positive triggers at your disposal can help make it easier to get a headmate to switch with you! Here are some examples of what positive triggers can look like:

Music for each headmate, including playlists, albums, artists, and songs

Stimboards, moodboards, inspiration boards, and other collections of images that speak out to each headmate

Cooking, preparing, or eating a food, snack, or beverage that a particular headmate enjoys

Engaging with hobbies, media, and activities that a particular headmate is known to like

And more! Get creative with your system and brainstorm different positive triggers you can incorporate into your lives in order to help facilitate switches in the future!

5. Manage expectations

Unfortunately, not all systems are able to switch. Some hosts and other frontstuck headmates may never be able to fully leave the front. Cofronting with another headmate and allowing them to make decisions and treat the body as their own can be a great way to allow other system members to front, even if it’s not a full-fledged “switch.” Switching can look incredibly different for different systems, and even for different headmates in the same system! So don’t be too discouraged if you or your frontstuck members aren’t able to switch out fully - cofronting and being coconscious are both valid ways for other headmates to experience the world.

Where can I learn more about switching?

There’s lots of information out there to help all kinds of systems start learning about or managing switches! Here are some links to websites where you can learn more.

Note: some sites which are geared towards created, spontaneous, or endogenic systems may suggest purposeful dissociation as a way to trigger a switch. While this may be useful for some systems, adding more dissociation to the lives of those already struggling with dissociative disorders is a very bad idea and should be avoided! So if you are diagnosed with a dissociative disorder (DID, OSDD, DPDR, etc.), suspect you may have a dissociative disorder, or suspect your system is trauma-formed, it may be best to avoid following advice from sites aimed towards paromacers, those with thoughtforms, and nontraumagenic systems. For everyone’s convenience, we have starred (*) links to guides which involve purposeful dissociation so systems who already have trouble with dissociation can avoid them! If you’re not sure whether or not your system has dissociation issues, it’s best to PLAY IT SAFE and avoid these kinds of guides. Please use critical thinking and your own discretion when reading about switching online!

Terminology note: some of these sites use “tulpa” language, which is known to be racist and culturally appropriative. Please keep this in mind when browsing these sites. In our personal life, we use “paro/paromancy” language instead to avoid causing further harm to marginalized groups.

Intentional Switching (DID) from DIS-SOS

Switching and Passive Influence from DID-Research.org

*Fuliam’s Guide on how to switch from Tulpa.info*

*Malfael’s Guide to Switching from Tulpanomicon*

Our own resource post for questioning systems has lots of links to resources on dissociative disorders and other forms of plurality, many of which may have sections or advice on switching!

Questions? Comments? Something we missed?

We could write whole books on the many different aspects of switching, and how switches can vary from system to system and headmate to headmate. We’re sorry if we’ve left something out here that you or your system thinks is important! This post didn’t touch on passive influence, rapid switching, physical symptoms of switching, and many other switching-related topics. This is just a general overview with some advice on switching intentionally and voluntarily!

If you have any further questions, feel free to comment on this post or send us an ask and we’d be happy to answer to the best of our ability! We may not have all the answers, but we’re happy to share what we know. If you made it this far, thanks so much for reading! Stay well, and have a great day!

[silver-star-system]

Guide to Voluntary Switching

I/we have known we are a system for around a decade now. One of the most helpful things we have ever learned to do is switching on command. Believe it or not, although it may not feel possible, it is possible to control switching. Sometimes it is harder to do and the switch may not last long, but overall it is very possible to learn how to consistently switch in and out as needed. We are a traumagenic system but this should work for other types of systems as well.

One useful application of this skill is for studying. The alter who learns information is the one with the easiest access to this information. It is possible to keep track of who studied and deliberately call them out when the information is needed.

It is also a great skill to use when processing trauma during therapy. It makes accessing dissociated materials that are specific to one alter much easier. It can help access alters with traumatic memories during something like an EMDR session. Outside of therapy, voluntarily accessing other alters has a wide variety of uses related to accessing compartmentalized ideas and feelings, or the opposite - switching to a capable alter when a young or traumatized alter is not up to handling an unavoidable responsibility or letting a tired alter rest and allowing a new host to become prominent.

The Skill of Gatekeeping

Gatekeeper alters are a well-known alter type. They are present in many systems. If you are in contact with one or more gatekeeper alters, try to get to know them. They may be able to teach you how to think in the way that they do that allows them to control who is and isn't in the front.. It is also possible to develop a good relationship with a gatekeeper alter and ask them to voluntarily trigger switches as needed. This is one method of learning how to control switching that works for some systems.

From what my gatekeepers have shared,

"gatekeeping is in essence: remembering who everyone is, and remembering how they feel allows you to find them inside and pull them out. There is also a feeling of pushing internally that pushes alters back and temporarily makes them go dormant. "

Alter Relationships

Some alters are closer to other alters. These alters may remember the existence of other alters that others may not remember. They may be able to trigger in alters that are close to them but not to the other alter.

Internal World Dynamics

It is possible to call inside for an alter, ask for them to switch in, and they may in fact switch in, although if they are especially dormant they may not hear this request at all. Do note that just thinking about the other alter may trigger a switch to that alter.

What helps is to make an area inside where alters can be found. This could be a specific room or place for each individual alter, or a general meeting area. It can be easy to find alters there because if you last remember seeing them inside somewhere, going back to that place sometimes allows you to access them much more easily. Grouping alters that want to front together/more frequently into a similar place can help them co-front together and find each other more conveniently to trigger switches.

Positive Triggers

All alters have certain things that they are passionate about and interested in. Many alters have specific roles that they automatically come out to perform when the situation calls for it. Pay attention to these triggers. If there is a certain behavior or situation that calls out an alter, make note of that. If an alter especially enjoys doing something, doing that activity can trigger them out - as can even just thinking about doing the activity. If an alter really likes something the other alters do not have a particular preference for, keeping a reminder of this thing around can trigger a switch. If this trigger is easily encountered voluntarily, it can be used to call out the alter.

Network of Associations

All of our alters and other types of thoughtforms are connected to memories and ideas that belong to them. The brain can only process so much information at once, so all living forms within the mind cannot be active at once. The information that is salient in our mind determines who is fronting. The brain can be tricked into pushing specific alters to the front by activating information that is associated with this alter and pushing away information that is not.

Memories

All alters are connected to at least a few memories. These are typically memories that they were personally present for - but could also be memories of creative or analytical ideas, or memories of having a strong emotional reaction about something. This often comes with a sense(s) of nostalgia that is associated with the alter and often occurs when the alter fronts. Remember each one for each alter. Some may overlap. This sense of nostalgia as well as any of these associated pieces of cognitive information, such as specific memories or ideas, can be used to voluntarily switch. They may also have an area of the internal world that is associated with them where they may easily be found.

Essence

Each alter has a distinct sense of self. Particularly in systems with strong amnesia barriers, it may be difficult or impossible to directly experience this firsthand. If it is possible to remember what it feels like to be them when they are present, this can be used to trigger a switch.

Using These Associations to Make the Switch Happen

Reflect on something associated with the alter, and the feeling of their nostalgia or what it feels like to be them. This will usually trigger a switch within a few minutes of doing this constantly or repeating it every few minutes. It may help to pay attention to what areas are active in the internal world as you do this. Try to go to areas where you know that alter often is; you may make a meeting area for the purpose of these voluntary switches to make this easier. Keep talking inside to see if they respond and are co-present. Once you feel their sense of self, imagine yourself/feel yourself mentally falling behind them and push yourself backwards inside. As they begin doing things outside of the mind in the real world, eventually you will either become coconscious, you remain present but are somewhat dissociated and may only be active in the internal world/mind's eye, or a full switch will happen and you won't even notice you're gone.

Types of Triggered Switches

It is possible to trigger a full switch (either one with or without coconsciousness,) as well as to trigger partial switches. Partial switches happen when an alter is awakened and present in some form, for instance they may be able to converse or remember events, but they do not fully front.

Coconsciousness

It is common for voluntary switches to lead to a switch wherein the triggered alter fully fronts and switches in while the original alter that provoked the switch also remains present. If this type of switch is specifically desired, it can be achieved by making an agreement with the alter that is going to switch in. Together, one alter can remember to trigger the other alter whenever they notice the other is not present, and this keeps them present at the same time. If co-consciousness is difficult for a system, this may feel like playing tag at first as both alters get used to the skill of triggering switches.

Complete Switch

Complete switches are common in response to voluntary switching. If the switching alters are all in agreement, they can maintain a planned switch by engaging in a voluntary switching method to keep the intended alter in the front. It can help to have a place in the internal world where they can go to symbolize they are leaving the front and going inside. The alter that has switched in can use the voluntary switching methods as a grounding technique to reduce dissociation and keep that particular alter in front. Particularly in dissociative systems, the brain naturally attempts to depersonalize which causes cyclical personality switching; grounding on the essence of that alter's sense of self reduces this dissociation and keeps them in front.

Ground to Maintain

It is common for the triggered switch to not last for very long. You may need to trigger the switch multiple times before it sticks. It helps if the alter switching in tried to ground themselves. If you remain co-conscious, which can happen in a succesful triggered switch, it can help to reflect on the stimulus (such as the feeling of the alter or their memories or favorite things) you used to trigger the switch to help solidfy and maintain the switch.

Fatigue

It can feel mentally exhausting to try to trigger a switch too many times. It is not uncommon to have to trigfer a switch multiple times, failing each time before giving up. Sometimes, you just cannot trigger a switch at all for some inexplicable reason. Don't be afraid to give up for a bit and try again later. It gets easier the more you practice. Don't be discouraged.

Host Switching

It happens to us all from time to time - our host(s) becomes tired or depressed and needs a break. Maybe our host is functional but is not as interested in daily life as another alter that would like a more active role in their life (perhaps because it involves something that is a positive trigger for them.) There is a way of chronically using these alter switching techniques to change hosts.

In order to change hosts, you have to trigger a switch to the intended new host frequently. Some people set an alarm on their phone to trigger a switch several times a day (depends on how long the triggered switch lasts), or make an in-system agreement to always trigger the intended host when host responsibilities (like going to the doctor or paying bills or going to class or eating) come up.

By chronically triggering a switch to a different host, over time (a few days to a few weeks, generally) this becomes the system's default pattern of switching.

Hostile Uses of Deliberate Switching

Remain in good communication with your alters and make sure that the switching alters are okay with what is happening. Don't try to force alters that don't want to leave to go away, and don't try to force alters that don't want to be present to the front. Going against an alter's will can feel painful at the moment and can cause long term problems if it becomes a chronic habit.

[silver-star-system]

Our Switching Method: Ghost Switching

Any full switch requires two parts. Detachment and attachment. You are both disconnecting the current fronter from the body and at the same time connecting the new fronter to it.

Note that this method relies heavily on visualization and may not be effective for people who can't visualize.

The goal of this method is to visualize both current fronter and intended fronter as ghosts trading control of the body.

Detachment

This section is aimed at the current fronter. What I want you to do is sit back. Close your eyes. Relax every part of the body.

You control the body through various signals traveling from your mind through the nervous system. What you're doing now is turning these outgoing signals off. You're probably still receiving incoming sensory signals, but try to shut those out as best as you can too.

Now, step out of the body. Open imaginary eyes and visualize the yourself as a ghost, exiting it. You're not literally a spirit, of course. This is just your mental representations of yourself. Your essence.

Now, turn back around and look at the body. The thing you see there isn't you. It never was. It's merely a vessel you inhabit and control to interact with the physical world. Now you've stepped out of it to let someone else takeover.

Take a moment to look back at the body and believe that this is true.

Visualize the intended fronter there with you, another spirit ready to takeover.

Good, now pass perspective to the intended fronter.

Attachment

This part is for the intended fronter.

When I talk about perspective, I mean that I want you to take a 1st person view from your mind form.

Take a moment to look around from this view, visualizing the spave around you through they eyes of your mind form. Feel your mind form. Look over at the previous fronter's mind form, and then at the body.

Step your legs into the body's legs, shrinking or stretching your limbs however you need to in order to make them fit.

Make your legs fit perfectly into the body's. Don't go all the way into the body yet though. Only the legs.

These legs are yours now. Focus on how your legs feel. What are they touching? Earlier, the previous fronter shut off their output to the body. Now you claim the sensory input, feeling everything through the leg. Through your leg.

Once you've claimed the sensory input, it will be easier to send your own output. When you're comfortable, wiggle your toes. Move a foot forward if you want. Rub one foot against the other. Do whatever you want to because these feet are yours.

Lean back more into the body and repeat this process next with the torso. Wiggle your hips a bit to confirm it took before moving onward.

Next, do the arms and hands, taking over both input and output again. Wiggle your fingers, wave your arms around, etc.

Finally, lean your head into the body's head. This is the seat of consciousness in the body. Claim it as your own. Feel the head completely. And not just the tactile senses. Hear the sounds coming through your ears, and smell the scents of the world through your nostrils. And then, when you're ready, you can open your eyes. A different person than the one who closed them.

If all went well, you're completely in front, having systematically claimed the body as your own, piece by piece.

Congratulations!

End Notes: this method is long because it's aimed at beginners. With practice though, you may get to a place where the whole method is "old fronter steps out. New fronter steps in. Done." And you've done a complete switch in 2 seconds while jogging without missing a beat. Cut out steps that seem unnecessary as needed as you gain more experience with switching.

Information For First Time Fronters, on Fronter's Doubt and Procedural Memories:

There is a famous or infamous case study in psychology of HM. The short of it is that HM underwent a lobotomy, with parts of his brain that were responsible for the formation of new memories being removed, leaving him unable to form longterm memories.

What was found was that when asked to perform certain drawing tasks, he would forget that he performed the tasks within a few minutes. However, when he repeated the task the next day, he showed signs of improvement despite no conscious memory of having performed that task before.

This is due to what's called procedural memory. Muscle memory and memory of physical skills is largely disconnected from consciousness.

When fronting for the first time, you might find the body wanting to act on habits that are not your own. This is perfectly natural and nothing to worry about, as many behaviors are going to be hard-coded into the body. So please, don't freak out when you find your hands moving into a position that the primary fronter's might take while you're not paying attention. It doesn't mean you aren't really in front. It's just procedural memory and nothing to worry about.

Thanks for reading and happy fronting! 😁

[silver-star-system]

Four Essential Features Of a Headmate

What is this for?

The goal here is to create an objective criteria for what is or isn't a headmate. This criteria can be useful for questioning systems, for plural media analysis, for studying plural groups that don't identify by the label, for differentiating between different types of entities within a system, and for tulpamancers wanting to better judge when a tulpa goes from a proto-headmate to a full headmate.

Nobody is forced to use these criteria if they don't think it fits for their system.

It's important to note that each feature here needs to be somewhat present, but these features don't need to be strong.

If you rated an entity on a scale of 0 to 10 on each of these and it gets all 1s, it's a headmate. Conversely, if it gets all 10s but has a single 0, it doesn't fit the criteria. Essentially, the degree that these qualities are present does not matter for determining if it's a headmate.

Autonomy

An entity is autonomous when it can think for itself and make its own decisions. An autonomous entity will not feel like you're controlling it. This entity thinks for itself and makes its own decisions, and feels emotions that seem real.

If an autonomous entity is sad, for example, you can't simply fix it by imagining it being happy again.

Autonomous entities may sometimes do things that surprise you or act in ways you can't predict.

If they're very strong willed, you may come to arguments with each other. But arguments aren't required to demonstrate autonomy and expecting arguments to prove an entity can think for itself can lead to toxic dynamics. Any level of autonomy is sufficient to fulfill this criteria.

Importance: Being able to imagine conversations with someone and to direct those conversations is a pretty common skill possessed by most singlets. Additionally, imaginary friends of children can come in different varieties. Some are autonomous, being able to control their own actions, while others are not, being fully controlled by the host child.

Perspective

A headmate must have its own perspective it can think from. This does not mean necessarily "seeing" in 1st person in the inner world or something of that nature, but pertains more to how it relates to others in the system.

A headmate with its own perspective can acknowledge itself as its own self in some form. It might say something to another member like "I think you should listen to me more often." Statements like this acknowledge itself as something separate from the other members.

While all that's necessary is to have that base level of perspective, for those who want to develop a headmate more, an advanced version of this that should be encouraged is introspection. This is a headmate thinking about themselves and their own nature, and can be fostered by asking them questions about themselves.

Importance: It's common for singlets to feel internal conflict and to think about this through an internal monologue. This might looks something like this: "I really want to take this cookie from the cookie jar. I'm trying to watch me weight. But I worked hard today so I deserve a treat."

When a singlet describes a sense of "part of me wants X but another part of me wants Y," this is the type of conflict they're generally referring to. The thing about these parts is that they often don't feel like separate people because they lack dissociation between them.

This criteria is to help distinguish between dissociative and non-dissociative parts.

Note: sometimes, even a denial can end up implying perspective. Even just saying, "I'm just part of you" carries an implication that there is an "I" and a "you."

Memory

Specifically, autobiographical memory of in-system experiences

A headmate should be able to recall past interactions that they've had. Recall of course does not need to be perfect. Even most singlets don't have perfect recall of their lives, and dissociative barriers can complicate matters. One of the core features of dissociative identity disorder is amnesia, after all.

The bare minimum is at least one memory of an event you experienced from a different day. Also, because amnesia can be episodic and be worse at times, this does not need to be constant. Having an episode where you can't remember anything about your past doesn't retroactively make you less of a headmate. (Although I suppose that if you are able to remember that you used to remember things, that itself is a memory about yourself. 🤷‍♀️)

I cannot reiterate enough that the memories can be very basic and do not need to be in vivid detail. They do not even need to be visual. As long as you have a sense of "I did this, I thought this before, I felt this way," or anything of that sort, it is enough of a memory to qualify.

Importance:

This is to help distinguish from temporary entities. In other posts, I have called these temporary headmates ephemerals. An ephemeral is an entity that exists for only a short time. It does not maintain memory or a consistent sense of self outside of memories assigned to it. For example, there is a popular practice writers may use where they will interview a character in their head. These characters may seem to have their own perspective and they may seem autonomous at the time. But they only exist briefly for the length of the interview. When the interview is over, the character is gone.

If you imagine a scene with that character again, the character in the scene will not remember you. If you interview them again, it will be like the first time you've ever spoken. Ephemerals are not headmates. They are temporary and not built to last. And there is no moral obligation to continue interacting with them.

A very common example of an ephemeral is a dream character. Dream characters are contained within their dream and when the dream ends, will disappear. Being able to create these types of temporary simulations of people is an innate human ability and these sorts of temporary entities aren't really part of the system.

Gnosis

I have previously referred to this as meta-awareness. But I am using gnosis here because I'm sticking with the one word theme for these qualities. There isn't really a word that exists that completely describes this so I will be using my own definition.

Gnosis means knowledge. In gnosticism, this was a specific type of knowledge that would allow one to ascend to a higher level of existence.

So in relation to plurality, this is knowledge of the existence of the external reality beyond the inner world or the fiction that the character originates from. You do not need to identify as a headmate for this to be true. You don't even need to feel like a part of the system. But you need to have the KNOWLEDGE that the body exists in an external reality outside of the inner world.

Importance: this is to help differentiate hadmates from other types of daydream characters or writing characters. A normal daydream character only operates in the daydream. They should not be aware of a real world outside of that daydream. Likewise, a writing character has no knowledge of the writers or the external world, and only exists within its own narrative.

A writing character may appear to have their own perspective and be somewhat autonomous when imagining scenes with them. But if a writing character becomes a headmate, the character may start to talk to the writer about the book. They may complain about the way the writer is writing them within the fiction. This is a writing character that has undergone gnosis. They have ascended beyond their fiction and developed awareness of the external reality.

The checklist

Autonomy: Does the entity have some level of independence where you are not consciously controlling them?

Perspective: Does the entity possess its own perspective with some level of awareness of itself as being its own thing separate to some degree from other entities within the system?

Memory: is the entity the same being in different times and places? If you had a conversation with it one day, could you ask it again about that conversation another day and have it remember?

Gnosis: Does the entity possess knowledge of the external world, the body, and its life?

If the answer is yes to all these questions, then you have a headmate on your hands.

And just because something isn't currently a headmate, doesn't mean that the potential isn't there. In the next section I want to discuss some techniques to help a headmate develop these features.

Tulpa Tips

Having gotten the basics out of the way, let's discuss on how to build these traits. This is a brief guide for developing full headmates from entities that are only lacking in one of the above traits.

Autonomy: if there is a character that you have imagined a lot but it feels like you are controlling them and you want this character to become a full headmate, just try letting go of the reins. Ask the character questions, and wait for a response. Do not try to dictate the response, and when the response comes, accept it. If the response is weird, ask them for further elaboration. But don't try to correct it or rewind or otherwise control the proto-headmate. You want to train your brain to produce the headmate's thoughts without any conscious input from yourself. See: Overcoming Parrotnoia for advice on conquering the fear you may be unconsciously controlling your headmate.

After enough time training autonomy, you are likely to find that you can't control them even when actively trying. But do not test this while you are training autonomy. Do not try to control the headmate during this period because these tests can set back or interfere with your progress.

Perspective: if you have a non-headmate part that you want to become a headmate, try to identify features of that part and when it influences you. Reframe the part as its own entity in your head, ask it what it wants to be called so that you can give a name to it.

These sorts of parts, in theory, should already have autonomy and should be able to respond when questioned. You are not making something new, you are just helping something that is already there differentiate itself more from you.

While just treating it like its own separate person is enough to achieve the bare minimum, I would advise continuing to ask it introspective questions to encourage it to think of itself as its own person. Especially things that are unrelated to its original role, whatever that was. And try to expose it to new experiences where you can.

Memory: The key to memory is making sure that you are interacting with the same instance of the character every time. If this is something that you are struggling with, my advice would be to end every session that you interact with your proto-headmate by asking them what they want to do the next time you interact with them. This will signal to the brain that this isn't done yet and that it needs to "save" this particular instance of the entity rather than creating a new one the next time. Then when you interact with them again, try to start off by asking them questions about the previous times that you have interacted with them in order to ensure that the memories have stuck. (These types of questions also encourage introspection.)

Gnosis: Of all of these qualities, this one is actually the easiest to reliably induce. You can trigger a gnosis event simply by telling a character with the other qualities about the outside world. Ideally, you should try to show them mental images and memories as well. You can also try imposing them externally so that they can see the outside world for themselves and walk around the space the body occupies.

As a warning, be aware that a well-developed entity discovering that the world that it knew was created from someone's head can sometimes trigger an existential crisis. While this is the easiest quality to attain, it also carries a risk if it's not attained before the other qualities. On the other hand, some headmates may enjoy the revelation and the new option that give them. Especially since they can now theoretically shape the inner world to their desires. Just be ready to catch them in case they fall when revealing this.

Conclusion

Thank you so much for reading! 😁

If you enjoyed this post and my categorizations, you may also enjoy my posts on headmate Foundations and Manifestations, and the Dimensions of Fronting.