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Any time astarion talks:

Me staring at his teeth:

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having adhd sucks

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Psychological and philosophical aspects of “dark” creativity in fandoms: Why is Astarion depicted as suffering?

The phenomenon of depicting strong, dominant characters (like Astarion) in humiliating, traumatic or subordinate roles is a complex mixture of personal experiences, cultural codes and defense mechanisms of the psyche. It is not just a “desire to harm” a character, but a multi-layered process that can be explained through several key concepts.

Processing trauma through projection.

For many authors and artists, Astarion’s torment can be a way to symbolically live through their own traumatic experience, especially if they identify with it. Often, this is a subconscious process, and the author of such art is unlikely to be able to answer the question: “Why are you doing this?”. A victim of abuse can draw scenes of violence against Astarion in order to:

- Experience the feeling of helplessness in a safe context (“It’s not me, it’s him”).

— Taking control of the situation through creativity (“I decide how this story ends”).

Psychological mechanism: Projection + catharsis. Philosophically, this is close to the idea of ​​“aestheticization of suffering” — turning pain into an object of art in order to distance oneself from it.

Deconstruction of power: “What if the strong became weak?”

Astarion is a character whose strength and dominance are partly formed by trauma. His humiliation in fan works can be:

- Criticism of his canonical actions (manipulation, selfishness).

- Exploration of the vulnerability he hides.

- An attempt to equalize power (“Even a tyrant was once a victim”).

Philosophically, this echoes Nietzsche's ideas: "He who fights monsters must beware lest he himself become a monster."

Sexualization of submission: power as a game.

Scenes where Astarion is portrayed as a "bottom" with a dominant partner may not be about humiliation, but rather an exploration of consensual role reversal:

- Kink as a metaphor for trust: Voluntary submission in BDSM dynamics requires more control than dominance.

- Perspective shift: A strong character choosing to surrender power challenges stereotypes about the "natural" order.

From a psychological perspective, this may be a form of overcompensation: the author, feeling helpless in life, "defeats" the threat by subjugating its symbol (Astarion).

Unhappy endings: the need for tragedy.

Pessimistic headcanons often stem from:

- Existential realism: The realization that trauma doesn't always heal and that victims aren't always winners.

- Need for catharsis: Living through sadness through a story helps one come to terms with the imperfections of the real world.

- Critics of toxic positivism: A protest against narratives like "everything will be fine if you try hard enough."

Philosophically, this refers to Camus' absurdism: life has no meaning, but we can find beauty in the struggle.

From a psychological perspective, the love of "glass" is due to well-developed empathy. I have discussed this topic in more detail before, and if you are interested, I will bring it here.

Control over the narrative: "I decide what story to tell."

Fan art is a way to rewrite the canon that seems unfair or superficial. If Astarion avoids consequences in the game, the author can create a story where he faces them - to restore a sense of moral balance.

Psychological aspect: Creativity as a tool for regaining control in a world where much is unpredictable.

Jung's Shadow: meeting the inner monster.

The depiction of Astarion in degrading or sacrificial roles may be a projection of the author's "Shadow" - suppressed fears, desires or aggression:

- "If even he, the strong one, can break - it means that my weakness is not so terrible."

- "His suffering justifies my dark fantasies."

Jung claims that everyone has a Shadow, but you can gain power over your Shadow only by acknowledging its existence. If you close your eyes to your Shadow, this can lead to catastrophic consequences for the psyche.

Summary: Why is it necessary?

Dark art in fandoms is often not about hatred of a character. Although it can be associated with hatred. It is about:

- Exploring boundaries (one's own and others').

- Trying to understand how pain turns into strength, and strength into vulnerability.

- Creating alternative realities where you can safely ask questions:

"What if the hero loses?"

"What if the villain was right?"

"Can you love someone who hurts you?"

As Dostoevsky wrote: "Man is a creature that gets used to everything." Fan art with Astarion is an attempt to get used to the complexities of human nature, looking at them through the prism of fantasy.

PS. What if it is still hatred?

If the author creates "dark" content with a character, it can also be a kind of "revenge". Not so much to the character himself, but to his fans and their headcanons. Such “revenge” is also, in a way, a way to work through one’s own traumas and cope with one’s own emotions.

PPS. Everything described above is not the ultimate truth, but only my attempt to rationalize what causes me strong negative emotions. In any case, each specific author has their own reasons for creating dark content with Astarion. And until you ask them what prompted them to create a specific work, you will not understand and will not know for sure what they feel and what they think. Another thing is that the author most likely will not want to talk (and here we return to the text about fandom wars and their consequences).

PPPS. Remember that you still have the right not to consume content that you do not like. If it is emotionally difficult for you to see art or read texts with “dark” content, you are not obliged to do so. You are not obliged to like the authors who create such things, and you are not obliged to try to understand them. Your psyche is the most important thing, take care of it.

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"This day has been way too long..."

“Do you have games on your phone”

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update:

Elwen the sword dancer was so excited to meet the Blade of Frontiers <3

i am making a wyll kisser and no one can stop me

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i am making a wyll kisser and no one can stop me

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reblogging with more screenshots I managed to dig up from this run:

I didn't capture many moments during honour mode and I can't reload to go back and relive them 😔 but that's okay, the satisfaction of getting golden dice was worth it.

Some additional shenanigans Lhihel and the gang got up to:

Everyone not in the party got reclassed as clerics in this run so I could do this lol and even then, I had extra hirelings as clerics too. went absolutely ham on camp casting:

using about 3 dozen smokepowder barrels against Raphael (almost crashed my computer):

-minmaxed Astarion on a critfisher build to the point of absurdity. I think he only needed to roll a 12 or 13 to crit by the end of the game and that's pretty easy to do with advantage...

-Astarion ate so many goddamn worms that Cull The Weak was straight up disgusting to use lol. Some fights cleaned up as soon as he did one sneak attack

-stole so many spell scrolls from Volo and vendors that they had a book worth 6x the bank. I believe it eventually hit 75k in value before I finally conceded I was being a bit ridiculous 🤣 Poor Gale had to lug around 11kg of scrolls for all of act 3

-Did they really need all those healing potions? Absolutely not. The gang was finishing most battles within 5 rounds. It did mean they didn't have to use spell slots to heal after battle though, and so they finished a loooooot of quests between each long rest. The gang was probably addicted to those potions by the end.

-reached level 10 before the end of act 2 and completely wiped Myrkul in 3 turns. Buddy got hit with two critical divine smites and crumbled to dust.

-stocked up about 30 scrolls of Disintegrate and nuked the Netherbrain in about 2 turns

-GALE LIVED which I will be forever prideful about. Professor Dekarios at my reunion party???? yes please <3

-By the craziest stroke of luck, Lhihel, Gale and Astarion ALL succeeded the checks at the mirror of loss, giving the team a nice buff. Lhi had two ability scores reach 20 before the end of the game.

-planned out the Iron Throne so thoroughly that everyone was out within 5 rounds

-gortash got pummeled in 3 rounds

-cazador got his shit kicked in so hard it wasn't even funny. The gang sat on the stairs and let the minions kill themselves on Shadowheart's Spirit Guardians and then Gale blasted him to death.

In summary: The Absolute picked the worst paladin to fuck around with, Lhihel completely slaughtered the entire run 🤣 It was super fun to minmax and crush HM on my first go so well. Lhihel was very happy to go live in a cottage with her gf's family and an owlbear at the end.

Throwback to my honor mode tank lesbians: Lhihel and Shadowheart <3

Kissing your cutie patootie gf after beating Gortash into a red pulp is not mandatory but always encouraged 🥰

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Doodle of Astarion going from starved and newly freed to eating better and getting chubbier

Controversial, but i'm six-pack hater. Out of romanceable male companions only Wyll should be allowed to have defined abs. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[pspsps i yapped about it here]

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Who's the goose that's on the loose 🪿🪿🪿

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Can the fictional silver haired men LEAVE ME ALONE

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Throwback to my honor mode tank lesbians: Lhihel and Shadowheart <3

Kissing your cutie patootie gf after beating Gortash into a red pulp is not mandatory but always encouraged 🥰

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Honey I am so sorry but I have got to say this

Your Tav and Astarion look like siblings. I can't see past the resemblance. It has been eating me alive.

HAHA

If it makes you feel any better anon, Lyny didn’t always look the way she does currently, she used to look like this:

I try not to infodump every single little thought that comes to mind about my Tav which is why I haven’t elaborated much on her history, but Lyny is nearly 300 years old and lots of things have happened in her life. She didn’t always have the pale features she does now (and it’s definitely something she struggles to be okay with sometimes), they manifested after the loss of her son.

She’s not related to the vampire lol.

As a weird aside though, incest is… surprisingly common in the worldbuilding lore of FR. Even in BG3 you can sleep with the drow twins in Rivington. Drizzt gets seduced by his sister in one book (although unsuccessful iirc) and while I haven’t read much of Greenwood’s writing, from what I understand incest is actually extremely normalized in the realmspace.

🤷‍♀️

People be fuckin

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"Can I lift an owlbear?" and "How to lift an owlbear?" - questions that should never be asked before more reasonable ones, like "Should I lift an owlbear?" and "WHY would I lift an owlbear?" yet here we are. Answers with pictures from all of the core companions below. It's actually started with me drawing this (as a gift-card for my friend) with Shadowheart. She’s gentle with animals and fairly strong (compared to male companions in camp) so here we are. But I immediately thought – what about the others?

Karlach is a BIG HUG girl and I adore her for this. Look at the joy! (I wanna be this owlbear…)

Lae’zel probably wouldn’t do it, if asked, but IF she would, she would assert her dominance and make her annoyance known

Wyll is definitely gonna try. Will Wyll succeed? My bet is ‘no’, but he might eventually

Gale isn’t cheating, he’s using his strongest muscle – his brain! Oh, and magic, of course

Astarion tries to use his brain. After all, if magic counts, then owlbear jumping because of you should also count. Come on! Up, you beast! Urgh, why isn’t this working? STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS AND JUMP FOR THE DAMNED SQUERREL ALREADY!

Bonus: Minthara and Halsin.

And how would you (for an unknown reasons) lift an (extremely friendly) owlbear?

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“I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to.”

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Photo Dump!

Lyny got new adventuring clothes and now I need to share :] But also just because I love taking screenshots while playing.

Ft. the vampire doing his best to get to know her, even if she thinks he's a bit of a dork <3

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Actors/celebrities are NOT your Blorbo

You do not know them

Researching them and watching their interviews/media doesn't mean you understand them

Writing fanfic about real people is not okay

Your favorite actor/celebrity is not your therapist

Do not trauma dump on your favorite actor/celebrity

If they are available for a Cameo, DON'T assume you can ask them ANYTHING, keep it light so they aren't forced into an awkward situation

Para-social relationships will always be one sided, they don't need you to be their champion and they will not fall in love with you or notice you more for your efforts

Don't say inappropriate shit about/to them. It's a new age in technology, you ARENT anonymous, they WILL likely see what you say

Actors/celebrities are real people, not constructs, not idols. Don't speak to them like they're a character

Maybe they saved your life. Maybe they're the most important thing to you. Maybe they mean EVERYTHING to you. They don't need to know that. I know that may sound unfair, but THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW IT. It's not going to make their life better. GIVE THEM SPACE

Never forget that you have a presence and an impact on the world around you, but that is a double sided blade: you AFFECT the things around you, you have an EFFECT on the world, your words will always reach SOMEONE. Make sure what you're saying isn't harmful, tag your shit, be considerate.