simontheman

[simontheman]

TLDR

Okay, we're in the final stretch we can do this!

I will finish this violent and unnecessary vlog with the final central message of the book. Which is, drum roll please

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

TRrrr

YOU CANT SAVE THEM ALL IDIOT, SAVE YOURSELF!

Little context, Holden is desperate to save them ALL! Every single one. Like hes one teenee tiny man in a big world, and he has to learn that one man cant save everyone.

Is it worth it?

Its a must read purely because of how much of a standard it is inside our society, if you wish to be ignorant (i envy you) avoid this book at all costs.

Good day and thanks for the read!

[simontheman]

Review time! Pickles scared sh*tless :o

Not that bad, pretty fun (sometimes) I now have to comply with my legal obligation to review the cashier in the Ryeshop

The Catcher in the Rye is a book written by J.D Salinger and published in 1951. The story is made up by Holden and only Holden, as the story orbits around his life.

Holden is a kid who got expelled from school after he flunked 4 subjects, who after these events transpired became an exceptional liar and fraud. The story is very simple, it consists of Holden, his downwards spiral into depression and what he wants to do when he grows up, he wants to be the Catcher in the Rye.

A catcher in the rye is someone who "catches" children so they don't fall flat on lives shortcomings, unlike Holden. This is explained more in my other entries.

Forgive my extremely formal style I just plagiarized that from Wikipedia

IM KIDDING, I WROTE IT MYSELF

(If you take away points from my test because I made a joke saying I wasn't consistent with the narrator I will bomb the school miss, I do not care that I am breaking the fourth wall I deserve a 7 or as close to it as this hunk of text can get to)

With that obvious threat out of the way (sorry), I wanna talk a little about the strengths and weaknesses of the book.

Ok so, strengths:

None

Weaknesses:

Sad as* protagonist, sad as* life, sad as* story

Fine I'll take it seriously.

Strengths: Very well written, I mean no sh*t sherlock it's a top selling book. Vocabulary is outstanding and the pace is good.

The character itself, huaoldein (i used every vocal) is extremely unique as a protagonist, as he is flawed and damaged.

Weaknesses: It's just a bit too gloomy for me, I get life can be like this but I'm too much of a positive guy to think the gloominess is justified, like Jesus have some fun will Ya?

Lots of times they make you do different works and stories about this book, and that can sometimes be tedious as hell. Sometimes it's fun though! Who would've known writing as a clown is fun.

My opinion on the book is that its a good read if youre a gloomy guy. Holdens a great example of depression's impact on a person and its a must read if you do suffer from said issues. Otherwise its not recommended, simply too sad!

[simontheman]

Final words before I finish the book and release my final review with my analysis

Ok so I'll mention a couple things here before I get to the book reviewing part of my life since I feel like I won't be able to fit them all into one review.

So, the absolute main universal central and overarching theme in The Catcher in the Rye is death. The entire story revolves around death both in Holdainstine being all gloomy because his brother got run over or something, and his own messed up suicidal thoughts.

And a couple finishing thoughts since I don't want to keep you too much longer.

Pickles

Here are some fun facts. In the UK, “pickle” (as in a “cheese and pickle sandwich “) may also refer to Ploughman’s pickle, which is a kind of chutney. (justfunfacts.com)

Aristotle is reported to have praised pickled cucumbers, around 850 BC, for their healing effects.

Legendary Egyptian queen Cleopatra was known for her love of pickles. She even believed they contributed to her health and her beauty, which was so revered that it has persisted through the years. Philosopher Aristotle even echoed the queen’s belief that pickles were essential to a person’s vitality.

Literal god Simon Rubio was reported to hate pickles

[simontheman]

He said it! He said it!!

After continuing my onslaught of literature, I reached the part where he says the name of the book!

Bro just casually says "If I were ever to be a professional, I would be a heart surgeon and make society proud to have me as a living and functioning individual!" Wait no that was the director's cut, he ACTUALLY says "If I were ever to be a professional, I would be a catcher in the rye" (what even are ryes)

So i looked it up, a rye is a long type of grain, a member of the wheat tribe. Doing a whole lot more to society than holdioen is. Anyway so, what I take away from this, he basically wants to kidnap children in the long fields of grain. Hes a mentally unstable adult who has no sense of education and acts like a child. HOW IS HE NOT IN JAIL.

Ok but for real, he is literally a kidnapper! HE STATES HE IS """""SAVING""""" CHILDREN, BROTHER HE IS LITERALLY KIDNAPPING KIDS. His excuse is that he is saving them from living the horesh*t life he had to live, but we all know lies when we see one, he IS a compulsive liar after all!!

Did you know, there are more than fifteen varieties of pickle peppers available, ranging from mild to hot?

i GUESS hes not that bad, it's kind of sweet how he hides his problems inside objects he uses to cope, things such as a red hat he bought.

One critique though, I think JD Zolter thinks we must be stupid or something because hes trying to convey some type of hidden meaning but like, it's obvious that the hat symbolizes his separation from society. For lords' sake the man can't even go near a school because of a couple restraining orders saying he was "catching the kids". The Hat is the most obvious symbol in the book as he clearly is incredibly attached to the damn thing, even to the point that when he gives the hat away, it's like the peak of character redemption since he is flustered with trust issues.

Not a bad read I must say, Here I'll put a photo of the red hat so you can picture better what I was saying

[simontheman]

Thrower outside the rye

Progress so far on... what was i reading again? Right... that one (was it catcher of the rye or catcher in the rye??)

I must give credit where it is due, the character is extremely relatable towards struggling teens if youre an ABOLUTE FAILURE!!! But yeah hes unique and stupid as hell.

One of the things that keeps constantly showing up is just how damn lonely this Haldun is, like seriously dude get a girl. I guess he does kind of do that since he is offered a prostitute and instead of doing some tomfoolery with her, he just sits her down for a round of therapy, for him and her. Honestly that made me chuckle, and anything that makes me chuckle gets a thumbs up from me.

I HATE PICKLES SO MUCH THEY ARE THE REINCARNATION OF HITLER

Back to the main topic of the vlog, pickles are going to bomb the pentagon.

Now, back to the secondary topic of the vlog, the catcher of those ryes, i think... yeah, I'm awesome I got it right

Hildeon (hulden? holdan?) Is basically what the books about, like it's all about him, bit spoiled dontcha think JD Saltinjer ? Ok so, this dudes like really depressed and the book constantly hints at this, the loneliness, the misery it's a destructive loop and its done pretty well in the book (I think I just made all this up on the spot. )

I'd say the theme I'm CATCHING (see what i did there) so far is definitely loneliness, rejection, denial, pickles, etc. It's basically splattered throughout the book and hard to miss. From the abandonment of his peers to him flunking out of school, to the rejection of society Hilden is VERY miserable and he REAKS of lard.

Keep ya updated!

[simontheman]

Books

Why must they be of such importance!

While we all hate them a bit, we can't say they aren't essential. Hence, they are (extremely sad) taught in school (I can't stress this enough, it's sad)

And this lands us to.............zzzzzzzzzZZZZZ Ops sorry, this lands us to T H E C A T C H E R I N T H E R Y E

Sorry for the dramatic entrance I thought it'd be necessary for me to stay awake. The catcher in the rye is the book I'll be reading and documenting as I continue through the story since I am legally obligated to do so by my school. If I don't comply, they will send hitmen to kill me, please help me

So as for the book so far, it's about a kid growing up and hes like SUUUPER messed up like they dropped him a couple times in the head or he just really damn sad but like LITERALLY NOBODY CARES so blah blah hes sad and has trauma ksaejfilsuhfoiunsefniuohsef he FLUNKED OUT OF SCHOOL (HAHAHAHA) and like... I don't remember the rest.

Crap I forgot the CIA agents need me to use this stream of consciousness... right. right. right. right okay (thats stream of contiousness right? Or was it consciousness. Repetition of words, typing like a brain damaged individual? I dont know im trying) Haha I'm going to go back to another topic now because I need to do that, remember when I talked about pickles? Yeah, still hate them, 0/10 literal atrocity

Oh, wait now I do, or at least the fun parts. The actual main character, Jessica? Wait no Holden (zzzz) is pretty interesting to make fun of because he is a complete and utter failure! Like seriously hes a complete failure, he is no hero Hes pathetic! He has a great personality I swear that's his redeeming quality But what can I say anyway, I've only read the first few chapters. I'll keep you updated!

[simontheman]

Hello peasants

Wassup

I am the ultimate messiah, and you shall refer to me as Simon The Man, and I am an outstandingly amazing student (15) and I'm awesome.

I hate taking things too seriously as it's just so boring! I have a large variety of friends but let's throw out the garbage we like to call friends to make ourselves feel better and stick with the real ones, then we're left with 4 close friends, even when we were fetuses (don't remember it was a while ago) we were friends! Forgot to mention that I was born into an upper middle-class home with divorced parents, honestly its better you get double gifts. I adore music and creating things I can proudly call my own and wish to make this my career. I also despise pickles, it's a literal sin eating that rancid and putrid monstrosity